Tuesday, July 7, 2020
Houston, TX
I deeply sighed after I was done ranting and looked towards my mother as she gave me a disappointing scowl. I should've known she would be upset, but she asked for it. Jay would be coming over to see Braxton through her and of course she asked why. I wasn't even going to tell her but she talked it out of me.
"Are you serious?" She said, looking at me. I slowly nodded my head and she shook hers, "I didn't raise you to be weak towards no man. But that's exactly what you are. Weak. You sit here and let this man talk to you any kind of way and put his hands on you. You let it happen."
"Mom, he's upset. Let him be. Just let him come over and see Braxton and don't bring it up."
She gave me a sarcastic chuckle, "I don't give a damn how upset he is. What he's not going to do is lay a finger on you. You really have me fucked up if you think I won't mention it."
I groaned and laid my head on the table. My mother was very protective over me and the rest of my siblings. She didn't play any games when it came to us. Even though she loved Jay, I was her child and she wasn't going to let anyone disrespect me.
"Mama just chill out please."
"I'm just going to have a talk with him. I get it Beyoncé, he's upset and he has every right to be, but you gave him the chance to meet his son. There's no reason this man should be disrespecting you like the way he is. You're the mother of his child. He's going to respect you."
I nodded my head and stood up to walk over to her. I wrapped my arm around her shoulder as she wrapped her one arm around my waist. She was in the middle of cooking dinner for our family, but I would be leaving and going back to my hotel. Braxton loved being over here so I figured it's best that Jay come over here to see him while I was away.
I grabbed a fry out of the pan and blew it off before putting it in my mouth, "The fries good mama."
"I know. Take a plate with you."
"I'm not hungry."
"Now you are." She said making my plate. I chuckled and accepted it. My mom would never let me leave without eating or sitting down first. She claimed it was bad luck to leave her house without doing so.
While she made my plate, I went to my dad's man-cave to see Braxton sitting in his lap as they watched football.
"What y'all doing?" I said grasping their attention. The smile that came across when he saw me put me at ease. He reached out for me and I picked him up.
"Hey big boy." He kissed my lips and I smiled, happy to be the one on the receiving end of his sweet kisses.
"Are you leaving?" My dad asked me. I nodded my head and looked down at Braxton as I had him on my hip. He was pulling at my necklace while staring at the television.
"He's going to be a ball player. He loves sports." My dad said looking at us.
I nodded my head. Braxton really did love sports. That was something he had gotten from Jay because Jay was a star in every sport he played.
"Definitely. Mama's about to go baby." I said to get his attention. He looked at me and pouted.
"No mommy. Can't leave." He whined. I handed him back over to my dad and kissed his lips.
"I'm sorry baby. I'll see you tomorrow okay? You'll be fine." I wiped his face and looked at him once more before leaving.
"Let me know how everything goes." I told my mama, kissing her on the cheek as she handed me my plate.
"I will. Enjoy this time away from Braxton. He's a good boy. He'll be fine."
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"Y'all are annoying." Nas said as he took the pictures of Nicki and I. We were so bored that we decided to have a random photoshoot with Nas being our photographer. He was tripping but eventually he took the pictures and they came out great.
"How are we annoying?" I asked as I stepped out of the pool and onto the burning hot cement.
"Because y'all just randomly thought about this like it was something normal to do."
Nicki and I looked through the pictures, falling in love with all of them. By far, this one was my favorite.
After we were done, I went inside to retrieve my phone. I noticed I had a missed call from my mother so I called her back. It took her awhile to pick up but eventually she did.
"Hey mama, what's up?"
"Hey, I was just calling to let you know that I did talk to Jay." I rolled my eyes and deeply sighed.
"What did you say mama?"
"I told him how you felt and how I felt that he needed to stop putting his hands on you like you was his punching bag."
I sat down on the sofa and rubbed my head. I could feel a headache coming on from what she was telling me. I really didn't want her to say anything but I couldn't control anything that came out of my mom's mouth.
"And what did he say?"
"He apologized but I told him to tell you, not me."
I rolled my eyes, "He's not going to apologize to me but I'm fine with or without it. Where's Braxton?"
"Oh, they left and went to the arcade."
I nodded my head and soon ended the call with my mom. I don't know why I was so stuck on Jay saying he'll apologize to me. There's no telling how that will go, but hopefully my mom talked some sense into him and I won't have to worry about him pushing and shoving me any longer.
After I was dressed in my normal clothing, I headed back to my hotel for a shower and nap. It was only 5 PM, but I've been up for the longest. I needed a quick thirty minute nap and then I'll be okay.
I showered and laid down in my bed in only my robe. It was pretty hot and it felt good to be without clothes. My thirty minute nap turned into two hours and I was waking up to the ringing of my phone.
With my eyes still closed, I searched around for it until I finally felt it. I answered it and put it up to my ear.
"Where are you right now?" I heard. My heart skipped a couple of beats when I heard Jay's voice. It made me open my eyes to see if I was dreaming or not, but I wasn't. This was real. He had called me.
"Uh, why?"
"Because I have Braxton with me and I don't know if I should drop him off at your moms or bring him to wherever you are."
I finally sat up and ran my hands through my head, "I'm at my hotel. You can bring him to me. I'll send you my current location."
I thought he would say something else but all I heard was silence. I pulled the phone away from my ear and noticed that he had hung up. I shook my head and sent him my location before putting my phone on the charger.
I knew I probably looked like shit so I brushed my hair out and washed my face. I applied a little lip gloss to my lips and waited for him to knock on the door.
Almost ten minutes later, there was a knock followed by other small knocks letting me know that it was my baby boy. I looked through the peep hole to see Jay holding Braxton in his arms.
"Hey." I said opening the door for them. Jay looked at me while Braxton reached for me and I gladly brought him in my arms. I kissed all over his face but he only wanted to lay his head on my shoulder. My baby was tired.
He was obviously sleepy so I laid him down in the bed and covered him up with his blanket. I'll just have to give him a bath later. I went towards the door to see Jay still standing there. I would have thought he would have left but I guess not.
"Did you want to come in?" I asked him.
He looked at me and down to my legs, "Nah... I'm good."
I slowly nodded my head, "Okay. Was he a problem?"
"Nah. We had fun. He enjoyed himself."
"Oh okay, well.. Whenever you want to get him again just let me know. Goodnight."
I was beginning to close the door but he had stopped me with his foot. I opened it back up to see him staring at me like he had something to say.
"Let me talk to you for a second."
I stepped outside so we could talk without waking up Braxton. I wasn't sure what was there for us to talk about but I guess I'll find out. We stood face to face staring at one another without saying a word. I leaned to one side, still eyeing him. He looked so good but I couldn't tell him that. I would love to, but I couldn't.
"So you talked to your mom I see." He said.
I crossed my arms under my chest which was probably the wrong move because my robe slightly opened, giving him the chance to see a little cleavage.
"I did. Why?"
"Nothing," He said shaking his head, "Me and her had a talk. Well, she talked. She told me some things and I just want to apologize. You know that's not me, but I'm hurting right now. I just can't believe you would e–"
"I've apologized too Jay. I can't take it back. It happened and I'm sorry."
"An 'I'm sorry' isn't going to do anything for me. I missed three years of my son's life. His first steps, his first words, everything. Because of some petty shit. I can't get that shit back Beyoncé."
I looked at him as he carried on, trying my best not to cry in front of him. I'm honestly tired of crying.
"You know how much I wanted to raise a family with you. I've expressed that side of me to you plenty of times but you fucking played me ma. I always told you that I wanted you as my wife and the mother of my kids. You took my son away from me and didn't tell me shit. That shit kills me."
I looked away from him, down at the floor only for him to gently grab my chin to look at him, "But I apologize. I shouldn't even be calling you out of your name or even putting my hands on you. That's a fuck boy move and I'm sorry. You're the mother of my son and you went through some things to get him here so I respect that and I respect you. It won't happen again."
I couldn't even help the tears rolling down my face. I covered my face and cried a little. It shocked the hell out of me when he wrapped his arms around me and brought me into a hug. He rubbed my back as my head laid on his chest. When my crying had subsided, I listened in on his heartbeat. I took that time to wrap my arms around his torso and just like that, we stood in the hotel hallway hugging it out. I didn't know if this was genuine on his end or what, but it felt good to be in his arms again.
Slowly, we both pulled away and he wiped my face, "I have to be somewhere," He said to me, "But uh, I'll pick up Braxton tomorrow. I'll text you a time."
I wondered if he had another female he was going to see but my pride wouldn't let me ask him such a thing. I nodded my head and watched him walk away before going back inside my room.
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Thanks for reading!
How y'all feel about Mama Tina talking to Jay?
Do you think things will be different for Beyoncé and Jay now since he apologized?👀