"Tell me this wasn't you, that Derek turned you into a monster and somehow you got Scott into it," Melissa said once they'd all gone out of the sheriff's station. Grace looked back at her mother, scoffing as she crossed her arms over her chest.
"A monster? Is that really how you think of me?" Grace asked, biting the inside of her cheeks to not start tearing up.
"Ever since you got with that Derek guy, you haven't been the same Grace," Melissa whispered, not daring to even look into her daughter's eyes.
"And Scott is such an angel? Because if Scott has one flaw it must be my fault, right? Well, you want the truth, Melissa? The night the police discovered half of that girl's body, who was Derek's sister by the way, Scott got bit by Peter Hale and—shocker—he was the first one who turned. And Derek? The big bad who changed me for the worse in your eyes? He was Scott's mentor. Let me rephrase... if it wasn't for Derek, Scott would've been dead by now. If it wasn't for Derek, I would've probably been dead by now or laying like a vegetable on a hospital bed. And you know what?" She started, moving closer to Melissa, "Look at me. Yes, I'm different from that Grace who used to get straight-A's and always hung out with her brother and his best friend, but this is about survival now and if you expected me to stay the same after everything I've been through then maybe I'm not the monster here. And, yes, I've made mistakes but, let me remind you, I'm fucking sixteen! I got my driver's licence this year. I thought I would get my life together this year. I didn't ask for my brother to be bitten and turned into the supernatural... I didn't ask to be pregnant, but I did hope that my mother would be the one to always stand by my side. And what did you do? You threw me out. You said if I was the one who chose to throw my life away then you didn't want me under your roof. Stellar parenting. Really. So, yes, you can curse to the world about how life completely sucks but, before you blame everything on me, I'd look at your life choices."
Before Melissa could say anything, Grace turned on her heel, letting the tears fall as she walked away from her mother, cursing at herself for being so hard on her mother. She needed to get that out because when she thought of mother she didn't think of Melissa. She'd lost her parents and she was hanging on to Scott by the mere fact that they were supernatural creatures and they were connected by everything that was going on. As she stepped inside Derek's Camaro, sure he'd heard every venomous word she'd spit out to her mother, she wondered how different her life could've been if she and Scott wouldn't have gone to the woods with Stiles that day. Maybe Stiles would've been the one bitten and this life was just destined for her. Maybe if she and Scott wouldn't have hidden when the sheriff found Stiles their only worry would be midterms and sports.
She looked at Derek, whose eyes were glued to the road, his shirt clinging on to his muscles. She looked back at her lap. If she and Scott weren't in the woods that day she wouldn't have met Derek. She wouldn't know the pain and bliss of setting her heart on someone. Then again, she wouldn't have been pregnant. She wouldn't have been thrown out of her home. A day like today, she would've probably been making dinner for Scott and herself while Melissa would've probably taken another late shift at the hospital. Would it have been worth it?
•••
Grace took a deep breath before going inside Derek's burnt house. She'd been there during the full moon but going in now just felt so different. Derek looked back at her from inside the house, his green eyes sparkling from the daylight. She stood frozen in place, the house reeking of nostalgia from where she was standing. "You coming?" Derek asked, his voice velvety and soft as he opened the door wider. Grace looked down at the leafy ground, taking another deep breath before walking towards the door and entering the house. Derek closed the door as soon as Grace entered, her body standing completely still. The air was thick with memories and feelings and Grace refrained from touching anything, scared of the countless memories she would encounter if she touched a single spot laced with one.
Derek touched her forearm, taking Grace out of her trance. She turned towards him, her back facing the wall, gasping softly as she looked up at him, their bodies in the same position they were when they confessed their feelings for each other, when it ended in them hooking up. His face reflected worry at her behavior, his hand still on her arm. "What's wrong?" Derek asked, examining her features. Her eyes were glued to his lips as he spoke, remembering how they had collided, how they moved as if they belonged together, how he carried her upstairs and everything that happened after that. She closed her eyes, looking down as she chewed on her bottom lip.
"This place," She said softly, "It's so full of memories."
Derek inhaled softly, pursing his lips as he realized what she meant, only beginning to imagine the things she could be seeing in that moment. He nodded softly, directing her to the room on the left side of the stairs, his hand resting on her back. He got out a bunch of cardboard boxes, each full of different kinds of books, opening them and looking through each and every one of them. Grace furrowed her eyebrows, "What are you looking for?"
"I'll tell you when I find it."
In that moment, Erica and Boyd entered the house, both Derek and Grace turning around at the same time to face them. Grace furrowed her eyebrows in confusion as she saw that both of them were carrying bags. "What's going on?" Grace asked, Erica and Boyd looking at each other with pain in their eyes.
"So you've decided?"Derek asked, a hint of sadness in his tone, probably only heard by Grace, "When?"
"Tonight," Erica answered.
"Everyone's gonna be at the game," Boyd said, looking at Erica for a sight second, "We thought it was the best time."
"You're running away?" Grace asked, her stomach dropping.
"You could come too, Grace," Erica said, making Derek's heart skip a beat as he looked at Grace, crossing his arms over his chest, "It's not like we want to."
"What do you want?" Derek asked, stepping forward.
"Since I just turned sixteen a month ago, I wouldn't mind getting my license," She said, making Grace look down, the realization that they were all kids hitting her like a brick, "I can't do that if I'm dead, you know."
"Well, I told you there was a price," Derek retaliated.
"You didn't say it would be like this," Boyd said softly, Grace's eyes watering.
"Yeah, but I told you how to survive. You do it with a pack. And you're not a pack without an alpha," Derek said, sighing.
"We know," Boyd said, making Grace and Derek look up at them with bewildered features.
Derek scoffed, "You wanna look for another pack?" he asked, making Boyd sigh as Erica looked down, "How are you even gonna find one?"
"We think we already did," Boyd answered, making Derek look at them with furrowed eyebrows, Grace looking down.
"We were in the woods, and all of a sudden we heard all this howling. It was unbelievable," Erica said.
"There must've been like a dozen of them."
"Yeah, or maybe only two," Derek said roughly, "You know what the beau geste effect is? If they modulate their howls with a rapid shift in tone, two wolves can sound like twenty."
"Look, that doesn't matter, okay? There's another pack out there, there's gotta be," Erica said, looking at Derek, "We've made up our minds."
"We lost, Derek. It's over. We're leaving," Boyd said.
"No," Derek said, making Grace purse her lips, "No, you're running. And once you start, you won't stop. You'll always be running."
"I don't blame you guys," Grace said softly before they left, "This life... it's like you're already dead."
"Then why don't you come with us?"
"I... I can't."
"You're still in love with him, aren't you?" Erica asked Grace, referring to Derek. Grace took a breath before looking down, feeling Derek's stare burning on her back.
"I have my life built here. I can't just turn my back on that, especially when I can't even control most of my powers," she said, going up to them and giving them both a hug before they left. She knew she'd miss them. She knew Derek was now disappointed and she couldn't leave him. She'd always remember the three people that Derek turned for the sake of having a pack and why he turned them. He turned Isaac first, the boy who was tired of feeling powerless. Then, he turned Erica, the girl who just wanted to feel beautiful. And, lastly, Boyd, the boy who just wanted to have friends. She hated how Derek manipulated them into getting what he wanted. She hated how she was the only one in his pack who didn't ask for it, who was fine being a scrawny human. She hated feeling so powerless even when all she had was powers that could go so many places and do so many things she didn't even understand.
Grace turned back to Derek, gasping as her back was shoved against someone's body. Derek threw a shard of glass at the person behind her, the person catching it right before it went through their neck. She looked at Derek, who was glaring at the person whose hands were over her. "Well, I'd expected a warmer welcome," Peter said, breathing into Grace's neck. Grace turned her face away from him, his arm wrapped around her stomach, pulling her body against his.
"Get your hands off of me," Grace said through gritted teeth, "Before I rip them out."
Peter chuckled, "That's not the way to treat your alpha."
Grace furrowed her eyebrows, "What are you talking about?"
"Oh, honey," Peter started, his hot breath trickling on her neck, "You do know you're an aswang right?"
"Your point?"
"Oh, feisty," he chuckled, putting the shard of glass against her neck so she wouldn't move, "My point is, you don't turn into an aswang by a werewolf bite. You can either turn by saliva or eating another aswang's ripe organs. Obviously you didn't eat an aswang's ripe organs because there are literally no aswangs in California. So your next option would be..."
"Saliva. But how?"
"Well, you remember that time when I was taking out your mother? Your water bottle. Courtesy of Alan Deaton's many unknown substances," He answered, making Grace furrow her eyebrows, "Probably should've said that it makes you slowly asphyxiate if you don't activate it, otherwise known as giving you the bite."
"So you turned me into this hoping that I'd get the bite the next day?" Grace asked, widening her eyes as she caught it, "The dance... when you bit Lydia... it was supposed to be me?"
"Also, word around here says you were cooking up baby Hale in here," he said, rubbing over Grace's stomach softly, making her tense up, "Probably should've told you that if you're an aswang you can't have babies."
Grace widened her eyes, "What?"
"Sorry, Doll," he said into her neck. She took his arm forcefully, making him drop the glass, grunting softly as she broke his wrist, turning around and taking him by the neck, smashing him against the staircase as she took him by the neck. Her eyes stinging with tears as she threw him against the wall one more time.
"Ever?" she asked softly as she held him up by the neck. He shook his head no, making her clench her jaw as a tear slid down her cheek, "You asshole."
Grace threw him towards Derek, knowing he was hurting and with Peter here he'd just take it out on him. Grace turned away, her body shaking as she let the tears flow. She'd never get to have a family of her own. She'd probably never get married or grow old with someone. She wouldn't be able to hear little kids call her 'grandma'. She won't be able to have a life. This was her life now and she had to accept the fact that she could die at any second and she'd die alone. She had nothing to look forward to and for the first time she felt completely hopeless. She tuned out Peter and Derek's conversation—which consisted of more fighting than talking— inhaling softly to stop the tears from flowing. She dried her cheeks before walking towards the stairs to the basement where Derek threw Peter, his body rolling down the stairs.
Derek went down the stairs, grabbing Peter by the hem of his v-neck before punching him twice, kicking him on the side as Grace started going down the stairs slowly. Peter coughed out softly, "You don— you don't really think I want to be the alpha again, do you? That wasn't my finest performance, considering it ended in my death, you don't act—" he started, Derek rolling his eyes cutting him off as he was about to punch him, "Okay, Okay, Do it. Hit me, hit me! I can see that it's cathartic for you. You're letting go of all te anger, self-loathing, and hatred that comes with total and complete failure," he said venomously, making Derek clench his throat, Grace waking slowly up to Derek, putting her hand on his shoulder, "I may be the one taking the beating, Derek, but you've already been beaten. So go ahead, hit me if it would make you feel better. After all, I did say that I wanted to help."
Derek looked back at Grace, her hand still on his shoulder. She looked down at him, making him let go of Peter with a small huff, "You can't help me."
Peter rolled his eyes, laying in the floor with panting breaths. Derek turned his body towards Grace, only inches between their bodies. Peter started standing up, looking at himself in a mirror as he went off on how coming back from the dead affected his werewolf abilities. Derek and Grace both ignored him, Grace taking Derek's hand, pursing her lips as she saw his busted up knuckles. "You can't keep doing this, Der."
He sighed, his eyes glued on her face, "Why didn't you go with them?"
"I wouldn't leave you, Derek," she said, looking into his eyes, "I still have a lot to learn and I'd rather do it with you."
"Why are you still here? With me? I've messed your life up in so many ways... you can't even stay in your own house," he said softly, making Grace cup the side of his face as he looked down.
"That's not your fault," she said, "You have to stop beating yourself up about everything. Erica and Boyd leaving is up to them and about my mom well... I'd rather be here with you."
Derek looked up at Grace as she looked down at his hand as it rested on top of hers. "See? Prime example right here," Peter said, still going on about his rebirth, "I'm not healing as fast. Coming back from the dead isn't easy, you know. I'm not as strong as I used to be. I need a pack. An alpha like you, Derek, and the epitome of power, like Grace. I need you as much as you need me."
Grace and Derek scoffed simultaneously, Derek looking back at Peter as Grace and Derek both sat on the stairs, Derek on the last step while Grace sat on the one on top. "Why would we want help from a total psycho?" Derek asked, raising an eyebrow at Peter.
"First of all, I'm not a total psycho, and by the way, you're the one who slashed my throat wide open, but we're all works in progress, right?" Peter said, a small smirk resting on his lips, "So, we need each other. Sometimes when you need help you turn to unexpected people. I mean, come on, you don't even have a pack anymore. You tried to build your pack. You tried to prepare for the worst. You weren't ready. Because of it, Gerard is winning. He's taking his time, he's toying with Scott. He's going after your wolves, one by one. He's relishing in his victory."
"How about you tell me something I don't know?" Derek snapped.
"Oh, I'm going to," Peter chuckled, "And it's gonna prove why you should trust me. Why you need to trust me. Because I'm gonna tell you how to stop Jackson."
"What do you mean? Know how to kill him?" Derek said a hint of sarcasm in his voice.
"Derek," Grace scolded.
"Actually, how to save him," Peter said, a smirk on his lips, knowing that Grace would be on board, "There's a myth that you can cure a werewolf simply by calling out its Christian name."
"It's just a myth," Derek said, rolling his eyes yet again.
"We'll take our chances," Grace said rapidly, looking at Peter as he tried to explain how to save Jackson.
"Wha—" Derek started, getting cut off by Grace.
"Derek, he's sixteen. We are not killing a sixteen-year-old because he's killing people against his will. We need to save him. Give him a chance to redeem himself," Grace said softly, making Peter raise his eyebrows cockily as Derek looked at him, an incredulous look on his face, "He's telling us how to do that."
"You're trusting him?"
"Desperate times, Der."
"Anyways, our name is a symbol of who we are. The kanima has no identity, that's why it doesn't seek out a pack, it seeks a master. And who else grows up with no pack, no identity?" Peter asked, his devilish smirk never leaving his features.
"An orphan."
"Like Jackson. And right now his identity is disappearing beneath the reptilian skin and you need to bring him back."
"How?" Derek asked, getting annoyed.
"Through his heart! How else?" Peter exclaimed.
"You know, in case you haven't noticed, Jackson doesn't have too much of a heart to begin with," Derek snapped.
"Not true," Peter said, Grace trying to connect the dots.
"Lydia," she whispered, making Peter smirk at her.
"Exactly," Peter said, "Your best ally has always been anger, Derek, but what you lack most of is heart."
"Not true," Grace said rapidly, making Peter look up at her, "He'd never admit it, but what he has most of is his heart. He just masks it with anger. And he's done it so much, he started to believe it."
Peter looked at Derek with a slight chuckle, "Derek went soft for you, didn't he?" He smirked, "Oh, Grace you don't understand, he loves you. You're his weakness. You managed to squeeze inside his little walls that he built up so high and went straight for his heart. I'd never thought I'd see the day when Derek Hale fell in love with another human—"
"Stop," Derek said softly, his gaze glued to the floor.
"Oh, Derek, even someone as burned as me knows never to underestimate the power of human love. And you did. And that's why he fell so hard for you, Grace. Because you were there. You were the one who wasn't afraid of getting through to him, no matter how angry or how scary he acted. And you, Grace McCall, are the reason why he was so deeply scared of it... because you don't love him back. Because he has a tendency to mess up everything he holds dear, and he managed to mess you up so much that you stopped even liking him."
"Yeah, well fuck you."
***
heheheh don't I love uncovering even more secrets ;)) also, congrats on all of you guys who caught the water bottle thing (at least that it had something to do with Grace) on the last book and I hope you enjoyed getting your heart ripped out of your chest and stomped on by Peter.
— vivian darkbloom