『 chapter xxi: A GHOST SPEAKS ! 』
THE SIXTEEN YEAR-OLD GIRL SITS ON HER BED, theres a nice-looking chocolate Labrador at the foot of it, resting his little doggy mind to a peaceful sleep while his owner, the girl, has a mind troubled with dreams that weren't nightmares but dreams — vague and intangible with the possibility of being misinterpreted many ways. The girls eyes are a lovely shade of cerulean in the dim lighting of the cinnamon scented candles that adorn her room. She sits cross-legged as a thick, brown leather journal is in front of her. She got it from her trivial grandmother who she hadn't seen weeks, per usual, the guilt and the contempt of giving her the fate she'd meet soon ( a fate she desperately wanted to change, now ) and hadn't opened it since. The girl takes a shuddering breath before she moves her hand to open the book. It's old, ancient, years and years sitting on a shelf collecting dust as life went on ever changing but the words in it stayed the same.
June, the girls name is, opens the leathery book. At the top it has the name of a dead girl who June's stolen the face of — MELANIE ALU CAPOTE. The girl whom is alive touches the photo of the dead girl that she's taped to the side of the sleeve. June had held back, she didn't want to face reality so soon. She had been living in a dream with her boyfriend, the savior, the fighter, the one who made her take back anything she ever thought about wanting to die. June swallows the choking feeling she has, she can't dwell on it like she used to without getting a sickening sadness that had all the dying flowers in her room bloom to life, and subsequently scatter her thighs and arms with those painful and purple bruises. June goes to the book again, skimming, seeing the false name on a false family tree. It should say Capote and it doesn't, it's just Blackthorn.
Not even three pages in, there's a journal entry. June's eyes shift to the date and the writing of it, it's tender and she'd love to see someone write her a love letter in that kind of calligraphy. It's her writing. Melanie's. June feels a chill on her skin looking at it, words from the grave, from another time and from a ghost. This is the only way June would ever hear her speak. June recognizes it's written in Quileute but she's spent her fair share learning the language just as well as any tribe member should, the words are comprehended just as easily as English would be.
⋆
April 14th 1937.
I'm sixteen and death is upon me. I can feel it in the hollowness of my bones, bones of which the angel of death wishes to drink out of. They've announced it for all, I am to be the bride of Ephraim Black and bear him sons and keep the tradition alive, furthering the line of many Spirit Warriors. I don't want it, I don't want that, and I don't want him. Can't they see that? They don't see! I don't belong to him. He's twice my senior. Father and uncle wish for me to do my duty but they see the defiance in my eyes and the rebellion on my breath. I've been given a hundred congratulations and not one meant a thing to me. This isn't all I'm meant for, am I? This can't be. It can't.
⋆
June stopped reading as it ended. She reread it over and over before she skimmed to the next journal entry. Her eyes were glued to the pages in front of her — she glanced at the time, it was still early in the night, she'd have enough sleep before she had to awake early and shop for last minuet things with Jacob for her mother's baby shower. June knew she shouldn't put herself through things like this ... reading a girl who's face she's stolen and life she's reliving. She noticed how the second entry is longer, sadder.
⋆
May 26th 1937
They've forced me into being in his presence. Ephraim's. The thing is ... he isn't so bad. He's very kind. The fact upsets me more than I wished, selfishly. What woman wants a cruel man for a husband? But I am no woman yet, barely a girl. I still have no intention of marrying him. I've heard the pale-faces from Forks say there's trains that take people from here to a place of hope, of dreams. It would take more than kindness to convince me. It would take a promise of leaving this dull land and never looking back. But Ephraim loves this land more than he could ever love me, it's his duty he says, and I want to tell him that he answered wrong. I should be his duty. He tells me I'm beautiful but he doesn't know about the bruises that scatter my body and the ones that I can feel to the marrow in my bones, he doesn't know about the nightmares that plague my nights and render me sleepless. The bruises are each a death sentence. Father and the Elders tell me there will be more girls like me when I continue my line, not if, for the magic in my veins is a privilege they say and only a girl with Capote blood could ever be what I am.
I wouldn't wish this curse on anyone.
⋆
June shut the journal immediately. She stared at it for a moment, blinking, she didn't know she was crying until the tears hit the leather of the book. Curse, Melanie called it. June looks at her arms ... she hadn't done any strange stuff in a while, no flowers or no super strength and her bruises weren't as visible as they normally were. They just were. June laid down on her bed and thought about the words in the tear-stained diary in front of her. A curse, she thought again. June thought it might be — how very was it, to be the cause of your own death. This power his had in her blood, a power which had cursed another before Juniper was ever a thought. June didn't want it. She told her grandmother that much. If the spirits saw fit for her to be some almighty being, June wasn't the gal.
She was pulled from her thoughts by a knock at her door.
June frowned, stuffing the book under her bed before she looked in the vanity, hoping her mascara wasn't running down her cheeks. Satisfied, she called out, "It's open!"
Bella poked her head in. June smiles. It had been a while, she felt, since she actually seen Bella. "Hey, Love-Bug." Bella jokes as she walks in, shutting the door behind her.
The younger sister pats her bed, gesturing for Bella to come sit. She does so and June sighs contently, "Hey yourself Bells, what's up?"
Bella lays on her back, shaking her head once. "Nothing, just came to see how you're doing — I've been occupied, helping your mom, I'm glad she's not some wicked stepmother by the way, she's never been."
"Mom doesn't have a wicked bone in her body," June laughs a bit. "And she told me you called her mom, then that you apologized, she said it was endearing, she doesn't mind a bit if you called her that you know; she just didn't want you to think she was replacing Renee."
Bella smiles, she's beautiful. "No, it's not that. I just didn't want her to be mad, or think I'm too familiar. It just slipped; Daphne's so maternal and my moms always been more of the kid in our dynamic." She tells her.
June lays down right beside her, taking Bella's hand. They both look up at the stars that June painted and decorated with glowing stickers on the ceiling. "She loves you like you came from her, Bells." June says fondly. She needs all the kids she can get. "You're just as much her daughter as I am."
Bella turns her head to her. June values the brown tones in her older sisters eyes; it's a color that isn't just any plain jane sorta brown – it's like there so many colors in it, the light reflecting them got a bit hazy and decided to give her some irises that reminded people of some fancy chocolate imported from France or something. People always told June her eyes were some fucking aphrodisiac gift from above ( her boyfriend called her ocean eyes for crying out our ) but Bella's brown ones were warmth and sincerity and reminded June that home was wherever her sisters kind eyes were at.
"June," Bella said her name softly. "You're okay."
The younger sister blinked. "I am—?"
"No," Bella laughed softly. "I mean, you are. That's good. I was scared after ... I was stupid and naive to think that everything could go back to normal. You're not the same. But that's okay. You're okay."
"Bella—"
"I just needed to say that," Bella offers. "I know I scared you and dad and Daphne, too. I scared myself for a bit. But he'll come back, I know he will."
June frowns, "You're sure?"
"Juniper," Bella says her full name. Those beautiful brown irises met her sisters blue ones, such tenderness in them. "I know it. He left because he thinks I'm some walking disaster, which, I know I sometimes am. But I love him more than anything. That'll never stop. You know the feeling don't you? With Jacob?"
Quickly, June says, "Oh, I don't know about love—"
"I see the way you look at him," Bella interjects. "I have a picture of myself looking at Edward the same way. Loving someone doesn't make you weak, June, you're allowed to love."
June furrows her brows, "I know it's not. It's just too soon, you know? Yes, I've known him my whole life," She shrugs, catching the fading sun shine through the window. "I've liked him longer than I'd care to admit. But I just remember thinking how badly I could ruin someone like him — someone good."
"You're not a bad person, June." Bella says quickly, getting that face that she gets every time Edward used to tell her he didn't have a soul. "You had to do what was—"
"I mean before James." June clarifies.
"What?" Bella asks.
"Everyone puts me on some pedestal," June says with a faraway look in her eyes. "I'm overrated. Jacob's like the sun, he pulls anyone around him in and I'm just me ..."
"People love you because you're unapologetically yourself, June," Bella smiles at her. "You're everyone's mom friend, you know? You're not overrated. And Jacob likes you because you're you! If he's the sun than you're the moon orbiting him."
"Is that a euphemism?" June snickers.
"You're a dork," Bella laughs. "So. You really like him, then."
June nods. "Big time. I just want to kiss his face every time I see him. And no, not like that, but he is a really good kisser. He says he's never kissed anyone else but like, sounds fake."
"I'm sure none of them are as important as you."
"Maybe." A surge of jealously went through her. "Mike used to say my kisses gave him life."
"Life or a boner?" Bella raises a brow.
June hums, "Oh, there's a difference?"
The Swan sisters share another laugh. "Can you believe we're gonna have a little brother?" Bella asks wistfully.
June feels equally elated and somber, "I always hoped, childishly, that my mom would stay when she came back from her trips — that she'd get pregnant and she'd have to stay with us. But I'd never make her stay, not when it made her unhappy. This time everything was on her own terms. It's a dream."
"That kids' gonna have the two best big sisters in history."
"Hell yeah, girls are gonna be thanking us for the gent we're helping raise." June grinned.
"You think he's gonna have your moms eyes?" Bella asks curiously. "Ones like yours, a pretty kinda blue?"
"I hope he has dad's and yours." June decides.
She smiles. "Back to what I was saying," Bella says again. "You're more the old June, not that changing was bad, I mean you had to do what you had to, when you're around him. He's really good for you."
Bella had known her sister for a long time now, she could say her opinion on what was good for her younger sister. June was a fickle girl, she decided. She was never too happy and never too sad — Daphne always said it was because she hated pitying herself, that people had it worse and June knew it and so whenever she pitied herself, it gave her some bit of self loathing that she couldn't get rid of. Bella thought her younger sister was the strongest creature ever. She hadn't known someone as strong as June, freaky unexplained power or otherwise.
He makes me wanna not die, June thought tersely. So yeah, I guess, "I feel like, I can be a better person when I'm with him," June said then thought on it, turning to her older sister with a trembling lip and frightened. "Is that how you felt about him, Bella? Sometimes I can't breathe around him, he's too much. I'm so scared one day he's gonna leave like—"
"Jacob wouldn't do that," Bella quickly interjected.
June hums a bit at the genuine nature of her older sisters tone. Bella squeezes her hand in comfort, they lay there on the bed, staring at the ceiling with the music at a soft hum and the thunder rumbling outside. June was so worried, hypocritically she might add, that Jacob might leave her. June can't tell anyone how many times she forgets that she's dying and it's not Jacob she has to worry about. Its herself and the mess she's put herself in. Letting herself get closer to Jacob was probably the single, most selfish, and most stupidest fucking decision she's ever made. It wouldn't end pretty, no matter how much she wished it would. Maybe it was presumptuous to think that she would leave behind a broken-hearted boy.
"Well," June spoke again. "I wouldn't blame him."
•—•—•—•
JUNE SMILED, HER CHEEKS HURT FROM HOW much she was smiling. They were in the supermarket, getting the stuff on the to-get list for June's mothers baby shower which was going on within the week. The young couple had offered to get the things since Daphne had a really rough case of nausea in the morning and couldn't get out of bed and Bella had to work at the Newton's today. So, June was laughing like a dork as she was on Jacob's shoulders as she reached for the highest-shelf with blue colored plates.
"Careful, babe," Jacob's warning voice sounded out.
"I'm good, comrade." June said as she reached for the other plates, since one of the bags were ripped. "Besides this is why I'm on your shoulders, so I don't fall, duh."
He squeezed her thighs, "I'd obviously catch you."
June thanked the heavens that her expression was at a higher elevation than her boyfriends because her face was burning red and the feeling of his hands on her thighs cursed her thoughts into something Bella might've told her she wanted to do to Edward. June tapped his head and he bent down, letting her jump down. Standing in front of him, she was caught with his smirking face.
She rolled her eyes, "Chill out, Mr. Suave. I get it, you're hot."
Jacob went closer, pulling her into his arms. He pecked her nose and scrunched her face playfully. He leaned in and kissed her lips and June would admit they obnoxiously didn't pull away until they heard a squeak of someone's cart pass — an elderly woman scolded them with her gaze, her eyes going from them to the ITS A BOY! balloons and blue decor, all signaling to the woman that she was looking at two expecting teen parents. June thought it was quite asshole-ly to assume that. Like, she knew it wasn't far fetched nowadays but damn, her boyfriend was hot and he let her braid his hair today and it somehow added to his hotness so boo-fucking-hoo if she wanted to smack face with her boyfriend.
"Having a bouncing baby boy. Made vigorously." June smiles shamelessly. She points to herself. "His mom is gonna be a hot sixteen year old, like his daddy over here. Aren't we just another statistic?"
The elderly woman scoffed before she went ahead with her cart, muttering about those horny teenagers. June looked back at Jacob was chuckling under his breath. "I think Star's rubbing off on you." He says.
"If Star is rubbing off on me," June paused with a giggle. "You'd have a milkshake thrown at you."
Jacob snaps his fingers, shaking his head. "I'm still really bummed that I missed that."
"Ugh, same."
"You think they'll end up together?" Jacob asks as he pushes the cart, leaning on it as she walks next to him.
June taps her chin, "Think so. Jared's persistent as hell, for some reason, even with all of Star's death threats."
Jacob nods, "Or maybe she'll do ya all a favor an eliminate Sam and his little cult all together." He says gruffly, looking at the isle but not at her.
June catches the tone in his voice, "Is Sam still looking at you — are they bothering you?" She asks, a fearful level in her tone.
Her boyfriend stops the cart. "No, babe, no. It's just the same creepy bullshit. Sam giving me that look ... his little guard dogs follow behind him."
June has another factor to be worried about. Sam. Surely he was angry with her still, for her obvious dismissal of his new fiancé and June's refusal to properly meet her. June wouldn't want to meet that home-wrecker anyway, stealing Sam from her own cousin? Tasteless. But now he was paralleling Jacob the same way Lyanna Young had described them looking at Embry Call before he started hanging with them.
"I bet he's heard about us," June grumbled as she scribbled our what they already got on the list. "Just trying that lame attempt of being intimidating."
"You still haven't talked to him, then?"
"No."
"I'm sure he wants to."
"I have nothing to say to him, Jake."
Jacob nods again, knowing when his girlfriend didn't like to be pushed on certain subjects. "Right. Forget I brought it up."
June turned to him, "Hey, no, it's fine." She takes a breather, feeling those thoughts of anger being brought up with Sam's name. "I'm just, really happy right now. Sam's drama will only ruin that. I'm fine. He's fine. But if they give you shit, tell me and I'll be happy to burn their collection of cut-off jean shorts."
"I can handle myself," Jacob says softly.
"I know that," June nods. "But you can handle yourself better when I'm around."
Jacob chuckles a bit, "I think it's the opposite. I can't control myself around you, you got me wrapped around your finger." He winks.
June beams, "Really?"
He smirks, "No, I'm just telling you what you want to hear." She playfully punches him, making him fake a groan. He catches her hand when she rears back, kissing her fist. "You should know better — you're everything to me."
June knows her heart is beating rapidly. "You're everything to me, too, handsome." For once, June's not faking an emotion. This, liking Jacob, enjoying his company, was everything. She regains her composure, "Hey, I was thinking, since the baby shower is gonna be at the Rez and stuff maybe you should invite some guys my sisters age."
Jacob gave her a raised brow, "Don't tell me you're meddling."
June laughs, going to pat his cheek. "Babe, I thought you knew me by now, of-fucking-course I'm meddling." She winks as he rubs his face. "My sister, is officially out of her post-breakup funk. It's time to bachelorette the hell outta this!"
Jacob smiles, "She told you she's ready to date again?"
"No, not exactly. But, it's been months, many moons," June says. "There's a new one coming, so its time."
"If it isn't, that Cullen guy must've really messed with her brain," He shakes his head. June thinks about that. He turns to her. "Were they as bad as everyone says they are?"
June sucks in a breath, "People like to talk."
"But were they?"
"They were good people," June defended. "Edward was a good guy, he loved my sister. They just had to leave, you know, family stuff."
Jacob stops them, he lifts a knuckle under her chin and makes her eyes meet his. "You know I trust your judgement, but it comes to a line when the Cullen's are involved." He says softly. "I heard what he did to your sister, how much he messed with her when he left — and June? I would never hurt you like that."
June can hear the sincerity in his words. She wishes she can say the same. But she was bound to hurt him, eventually, maybe, soon. She thinks about the ghosts words, Melanie, how what she has in her veins is a curse and how she wouldn't wish it on anyone. Times were different, June wasn't forced to marry anyone, she only had a boy who saw her like she was some grand piece Picasso made. But the words rung out in her ears, I wouldn't wish this on anyone.
So June does what June does best, giving her June Swan smile and says, "I know."
note: ahahahaha ded,,,,juncob is cute™️. btw the new moon plot is rolling in, you got to hear melanie capotes words !!! more journal entries of hers will be coming in!!!
sorry this took forever to write, this chapter is two days too late :(( but I'm back, I've been sick and moved from
rez, so beep beep bitches this rides moving fast.