"Dani," Ashton panted, running his hands down my sides,"are you sure that you want to do this?"
"Yes." I nodded again, because Ashton had asked this question more than a few times in the past couple minutes. I put my hands on Ashton's chest and began to walk backwards, towards my bed. "Are you sure?"
I almost didn't ask, because there was a small part of me that felt like Ashton wasn't going to want to do this. Something told me that he was still going to want to wait, even though there wasn't anything to be waiting for. I didn't know if he was scared or just nervous, but there was always something stopping him whenever we starting to do things like this. Ashton was always putting a stop to things when they started to go in this direction, and I was actually getting a little tired of it. He was still getting over Kenzie, and I knew that, but there was honestly no use in holding back just because of her.
"Yeah." Ashton said after a few seconds. He pushed me down on the bed, crawling on top of me as his lips attached to my neck. He sucked on my collarbone as I finished taking his shirt off, tossing it onto the floor beside us.
Ashton's hands went to my hips again and his fingers ran over the fabric of my sweatpants, finally sliding them down my legs completely. I kicked them off the rest of the way, not caring where they landed. Ashton smiled as he leaned down, kissing down my stomach until he got to the hem of my underwear. I reached out for him again and felt my fingers go to his hair, gently tugging him so he was looking up at me again. He nodded again and brought his lips back to mine, the kiss even more passionate and full of lust than before.
After a few more minutes of us just making out I was starting to get anxious, so I took matters into my own hands. I grabbed Ashton's shoulders and somehow flipped him over, despite how much stronger than me he was. I climbed on top of his lap, straddling him with one leg on either side of his body. I ran my hands down Ashton's toned chest from his shoulders until I reached the buckle of his pants, and I teasingly fiddled with it.
"Dani," Ashton groaned, leaning forward. He sat up and cupped my cheeks in his hands, bringing my face closer to his. He connected our lips once again, distracting me from what I had been trying to do before.
I wrapped my arms around Ashton's neck as I kissed him back, letting out a small moan while Ashton's hands trailed down my back and to the clip of my bra. His fingers fumbled with the clasp, desperately trying to get it off of me, which would remove all possible space between us. When I realized that Ashton was pretty incapable of getting it off I finally gave in, reaching back to undo the bra myself. I shrugged it off, throwing it behind me and again not caring where it landed.
"Are you sure you're a virgin?" Ashton asked, and I could feel the bulge in his pants growing bigger. "You're way too good at this."
"I'm definitely a virgin." I chuckled, pushing Ashton back so he was laying on the bed again. He grabbed at my waist and pulled me down, trying to keep me as close to him as possible. I bit down softly on his neck, earning another loud groan from Ashton, who's hands were now running up and down my thighs.
"Then I think you should let me take over now." Ashton whispered, flipping me over. He hovered over me and supported himself with one arm while he finally undid his belt with the other one, doing the best he could to pull his pants down with only one hand. He finally got them down, and his boxers too, so the only thing separating us was my underwear.
"Fuck, I want you so bad. I need you." Ashton swore under his breath, attaching his lips to my neck once again. He bit down, sucking softly at the sensitive skin.
"Mhm," I nodded, moving my head and carefully nudging Ashton, bringing his lips up to mine again. He slipped his tongue inside my mouth, deepening the kiss even more.
Ashton pulled his lips away from mine and began to kiss down my body, his lips sponging over my chest and my stomach. He left small kisses all over my body, muttering random things under his breath as he kissed all over me. I brought my hands to his hair again, guiding him down farther as his continued to leave short kisses on my skin.
"Ash," I whispered, hoping that he wasn't going to cut me off again, like he had done so many times before.
"Yeah?" Ashton asked, his lips pressing a small kiss right above the hem of my underwear again. I could feel him smiling against my skin, probably at the fact that I had called him Ash again.
"You have a condom, right?" I asked, suddenly remembering something very important. I didn't really want to kill the mood by bringing it up, but I think that worse thing could happen if I didn't ask for a condom. I wasn't interested in getting pregnant and I don't think Ashton was interested in being a father either, so we better be safe than sorry.
"Fuck, yeah, I do." Ashton said, quickly getting up. He walked to the foot of my bed where his pants had landed and searched through the pockets, while I took a second to breathe and actually process what was going on.
I'm suddenly really glad that I didn't give in and have sex with Michael earlier tonight, because as I'm realizing now, it wouldn't have been as special. I care about Michael a lot, but I didn't love him the way I loved Ashton, and everything would be so different if I had lost my virginity to him. I wanted my first time to be with someone that I was in love with, and that was Ashton. I couldn't imagine doing this with anyone else.
Ashton returned a second later, with the condom on, I'm assuming, and got on top of me like he had been before. His fingers hooked themselves under the hem of my underwear and finally pulled them down, leaving small kisses on my legs as he did so.
"You're gorgeous, have I ever told you that?" Ashton smirked, holding himself over me again.
"I'm not sure that you have." I smirked back, my fingers tangling themselves in his hair. I was growing more impatient by the second, I just wanted this to happen already.
"Shit, Dani, are you nervous?" Ashton asked suddenly, which caught me off guard. I really hoped that Ashton wasn't going to change his mind now, when we had already gotten this far.
"Maybe a little." I answered slowly, feeling Ashton's hands squeeze at my sides.
"It might hurt, baby. You're sure about this?" Ashton asked one final time, and nodded. I understood why he was asking now. It wasn't for himself, but more to make sure that I was the one comfortable with this. Clearly Ashton was alright with having sex, or else he would have stopped by now he just wanted to make sure that I was okay.
"I'm sure, Ash, I really want this. I really - " Ashton silenced me with another kiss, and I'm not sure if he knew what I was going to say or not, but it didn't really matter to me anymore.
"Are you ready?" He whispered, pulling away just slightly and resting his forehead against mine.
"Yes." I put my hands on Ashton's shoulders and he leaned down one more time, kissing me once more before this whole thing started.
Ashton spread my legs apart even more, giving him some more room as he lined himself up with my entrance. I felt an uneasy feeling come to my stomach as Ashton thrust into me for the first time and I bit down on my lip, trying hard to ignore the slight pain that I felt.
"Are you okay? Does it feel okay?" Ashton asked, kissing my lips again. I nodded, letting him know that it was alright to keep going, despite how uncomfortable I felt at the moment. "You're so - you're so beautiful."
After a few more thrusts I was starting to get used to what was going on and feel more comfortable than I was before. The pain was bearable now, and I was soon focused on nothing else but Ashton and the fact that I loved him a lot, probably more than anyone I had ever known.
"Just tell me if it hurts or anything, alright baby? I'm trying not to hurt you..." Ashton murmured, burying his face into the crook of my neck as he thrust into me once again.
-
I woke up the next morning and instead of my head resting on Ashton's chest like it had been when I fell asleep, it was on the pillow. I rolled over, only to find the bed next to me empty. I sighed as I slowly sat up, bringing up my comforter to cover my still bare chest. Thankfully Ashton hadn't left, and was siting at the edge of me bed. He was already wearing his clothes, though, and I wondered if he had been planning to leave soon.
"Going somewhere?" I asked, clearing my throat.
Ashton flinched and turned around, finally facing me. He gave me a big smile as he ran his fingers through his tousled hair, messing it up even more. "I was just...heading home, yeah."
"Why?" I asked quietly. Though I hadn't ever had sex before, I imagined the morning after to go a little differently. I mean, it didn't have to be completely perfect, but I would have liked it more if my boyfriend didn't try to leave without telling me.
"I had something I wanted to do today." Ashton swallowed. He turned around all the way and brought his legs up on the bed, crossing them over each other.
"Oh, really?" I sighed, "I was just thinking...my parents aren't going to be home until tomorrow night. I thought we could just spend the day here."
"Aw, Dani, I really want to, but I made plans with my dad." Ashton said, trying to smile again. He crawled a little closer to me, but still kept his distance. I wasn't sure if I liked this, everything seemed so awkward now.
"Your dad? Why?" I questioned. Last I heard, Ashton and his dad weren't even getting along. Why would he want to spend the whole day with him?
"We've just been fighting a lot lately, and it's been really stressful, so he asked me if we could go out to lunch or something today." Ashton explained. "We made the plans a few days ago, and I swear that if I had known this was going to happen I wouldn't have agreed to them. There just isn't much I can do now."
"Oh, alright." I nodded, not really knowing what else to say. I was getting a little tired of this now, which sucked because of how great last night was. I just hated the way that Ashton and I either seemed to be making out or hurting each other's feelings, there really wasn't much else anymore.
"Murph, I feel so awful." Ashton shook his head. He crawled over the rest of the bed until he was laying over me again, propping himself up on his elbows. "I'll take the award for worlds shittiest boyfriend, really."
"Ashton, it's fine." I said, which wasn't really a lie. If Ashton had honestly made plans with his dad to do something today then I couldn't really stop him, and I didn't want to seem all clingy and try to force him out of them. Of course my feelings were a little hurt again, but it was alright, I really couldn't control this.
"I'll make it up to you, Murphy, I promise." Ashton smiled, kissing me quickly before climbing off of me again. He stood at the side of my bed, looking down at me as stared back at him.
"You don't have to, it's okay." I sighed again. I still felt exhausted, even after sleeping for however many hours. I felt like it was a good thing that Ashton wasn't going to stay, because I would probably fall asleep on him anyway.
"I want to." Ashton smiled, leaning down once more and kissing me on the forehead before he began to head do the door. "I'll call you tonight, and we can hang out all day tomorrow, okay?"
"Okay." I nodded, giving Ashton another small smile before he completely disappeared down the hallway. A few short seconds later I heard the front door slam, and Ashton was gone again.
After laying in bed for a while and then going to take another shower, I was finally dressed again and ready to start another day of doing absolutely nothing. I went into the living room and actually started a movie this time, which was just something random that I had found on Netflix. I had only been sitting on the couch for a few minutes when the doorbell rang. I let out a groan, but got up anyway, having a feeling that it was either Ashton again or Michael. There was really no one else that ever came to see me.
I opened the door and to no surprise, found Michael standing on the front porch again. I was actually kind of glad that it was him, because part of me was still upset with Ashton and also because I was interested to hear what happened to Michael after he left my house last night.
"Virginity is extremely overrated." He shrugged, shoving past me without even saying any kind of hello.
"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, following Michael into the kitchen. He was doing it again, making himself right at home.
"It means that I lost my virginity, and I kind of want it back." Michael pouted, turning around in a circle. He was looking for something, and would probably find whatever it was eventually, without me even having to tell him.
"You lost your virginity?" I gasped.
"Uh, yes." Michael scoffed, rolling his eyes at me. "Do you have any thing to drink? Beer, perhaps? Or even a bottle of wine that I could just chug?"
"No." I said, shaking my head. Michael was already in what seemed like a bad mood, I didn't need him to be drunk too.
"Virginity is dumb." Michael huffed. He pulled a stool up to the island and sat down, resting his chin in his hands.
"What happened?" I asked, genuinely curious. Michael was so excited about losing his virginity, this isn't exactly how I had expected him to act when it finally happened.
"So after you and Ash started to, you know, get it on, I left and went to Sarah's house again, hoping that she would talk to me. And she didn't talk to me at first, so I talked to her. Like, I really talked, not just a moan." Michael explained quickly, pausing to take a big breath. "So I told her how I feel and I said all of this other mushy stuff, and pretty soon we were having sex and neither one of us stopped, even though she still hasn't broken up with the fucking boyfriend."
"She cheated on him?" I gasped again, surprised that Michael had actually gone that far. I knew that he didn't like the idea of even kissing Sarah while she had a boyfriend, it was weird to think that he actually had sex with her while she was still dating someone else.
"He cheated on her with Brooke, so." Michael shrugged. I had already figured that out so I wasn't very shocked at this information. After Michael practically let it slip in the janitors closet that one day, it was easy for me to put all of the pieces together.
"Wow." I sighed, holding back a laugh. I just thought it was funny how Michael and I had almost had sex with each other just so we could both finally lose our virginity, and then we both ended up loosing it on the same night. "What happened after that?"
"I left, because I started to question Sarah about her not breaking up with her boyfriend and she started to cry again, saying that she still loves him and all that bullshit. It was fucking stupid, so I'm shunning her." Michael shrugged, like it was totally casual to shun someone. I guess for Michael it was.
"Shunning her?" I questioned.
"Yeah, I'm not going to talk to her anymore. It's fine, I don't think she ever really liked me the way I liked her. Maybe it's better if she just doesn't talk to me for a while." Michael sighs.
I just nod, feeling sorry for him once again.
"So, how was your night?" Michael chuckled. He reached across the island and pointed at my neck, which had more than a few hickey's on it. I noticed them earlier when I was taking a shower.
"Interesting." I said after a minute of silence, trying to find the right word.
"Why didn't Ashton stay?" Michael asked.
"He said he had plans with his dad." I shrugged. I was pretty much over that now, I guess that Ashton doing things like this was something that I was just going to have to get used to.
"Oh," Michael nodded, "right."
"I guess you're right, virginity is overrated." I let out a big sigh and rested my own head in my hands, mimicking Michael's actions.
"We should have just fucked each other." Michael says blankly, probably hoping that I'll agree.
"Yeah we should - no we shouldn't have." I laughed, shaking my head again. Michael was one of my best friends, I think it would just be weird now if we had sex. I know I was thinking about it last night, but that was different.
"You wanted to." Michael smiled while wiggling his eyebrows, obviously amused with himself.
"Maybe I did for, like, 2 seconds." I said and rolled my eyes at him again.
"Same." Michael nodded, glancing awkwardly around the room. "Wanna see my hickey's?"
"Uh, sure?" I answered slowly, and before I could even get the words fully out Michael had taken his sweatshirt off and threw it on to the floor.
He jabbed a finger at one of the purple marks on his chest, near his collarbone. "Look at that thing. It's huge!" He laughed. He had more, too, all over his chest. I didn't know Sarah personally, but Michael was right, she certainly had a mouth to her.
In the midst of Michael and I discussing all of our hickey's, the doorbell rang again. At first we just ignored it and went on with out conversation, figuring that it was probably one of those door to door salesmen, but a few seconds the doorbell rang again. And again.
I told Michael to stay in the kitchen as I went to go get the door, hoping that I would be able to quickly send away whoever it was. When I opened the door I was met with Luke standing impatiently in front of me, looking like his head was about to pop off.
"Dani, we really need to talk." He said, pushing past me. Seriously, why didn't anyone ever wait for me to invite them into my house?
"I don't think now is - "
"Now is this best time, please just let me talk to you." Luke cut me off, his words probably coming out a lot harsher than he meant them to be.
"Can you - " I began to tell Luke to just go into the living room, but he interrupted me again.
"What was that?" Luke asked, his eyes focusing in on the kitchen. He must have saw Michael moving, probably in an attempt to get himself out of here.
"Luke, stop, let's just go in here. Talk, tell me what you need to say." I said, grabbing onto Luke's arm. I tried to pull him away from the kitchen but it was really no use, he was too strong for me.
"No, I saw someone." Luke shook his head, walking into the kitchen. I tugged on the sleeve of his shirt again, trying to get him as far away from there as possible. It didn't work, because seconds later Luke was in the kitchen and staring face to face with a shirtless Michael.
Michael's eyes went wide and he quickly bent down and picked his sweatshirt up off the floor, pulling it over his head again. Things really did not look good for the two of us right now, since Michael was shirtless and we both had little love bites scattering out bodies, and Luke had seen the whole thing.
"Oh my God, Dani!" Luke yelled, turning to me. "I knew it!"
"No, Luke, it's really not like that at all." I shook my head, and turned to Michael. I hoped that he would be willing to explain it all to Luke, then he would most likely believe that Michael and I were just friends and nothing more.
Michael didn't stay and explain, though, he just shook his head at Luke before pushing past him, quickly making his way out of the house.
"Are you cheating on Ashton with him or something?" Luke question, turning to me.
"No, no, I would never." I put my hands up, like I was trying to stop Luke from going anywhere. I was so scared that he was going to go of and tell Ashton that I had been with Michael, that would ruin everything.
"That whole thing looked a little suspicious." Luke said slowly, glancing around the room.
"It wasn't, we're just friends, I swear. Here," I said, turning around. I began to walk back up to my room to find my phone, so I could call Michael and have him come back. "I'll have Michael come over and he can help explain all of this."
"Dani, don't." Luke snapped, grabbing onto my wrist. He turned me around again so I was facing him, and he was staring down at me.
"No, it's okay, he'll just explain it to you and everything will be okay. Ashton won't know and - " I rambled on, suddenly extremely nervous about all of this. I had always knows that Michael and I couldn't just sneak around like that, I just never thought that there would actually be a day where we got caught by someone. Someone that could potentially lie to my boyfriend and tell him I've been hooking up with his best friend.
"Michael won't talk to me." Luke said slowly, which made me shut up.
"No, that's impossible. He's just shy, that's all. Michael only doesn't talk to people who - " I stammered, realizing what Luke was trying to say.
"Who do bad things." Luke finished for me. He swallowed hard before opening his mouth again, and I knew that we would probably be here for hours after this. "And Dani, I did a bad thing."