17. TEXTS
LOLA
hello good morning stinky, is there a reason why Elizabeth Olsen called me out of the blue at 1am to ask when your birthday was?
MINNIE
what birthday?????
LOLA
yeah yeah u don't have one blah blah ha ha ha it gets funnier every time
MINNIE
49th julember 2021 was a nice touch from you though
LOLA
thank you, thank you
LOLA
I've been waiting to use it for a while tbh
MINNIE
proud of you
LOLA
ah you're such a babe
MINNIE
I prefer the term "the best that humanity has to offer" but I suppose I'll take it
LOLA
I hate you sm
MINNIE
you literally called me a babe less than 60 seconds ago
LOLA
my opinion of you is a constant sliding scale
MINNIE
awe but why
LOLA
bc we have a love hate relationship
MINNIE
what, like you love me all the time bc I'm excellent and I hate you all the time bc ur grouchy and mean ??
LOLA
this.
LOLA
this is why we have the sliding scale, bud
MINNIE
Chris called my buddy the other day and my small heart grew three sizes like the grinch's
LOLA
dear lord
LOLA
did you finally get the teenage crush you never got
LOLA
is this why you're being extra extra today
MINNIE
I don't think it's a crush
MINNIE
not yEt
MINNIE
lmao I hate myself
MINNIE
this is gonna end badly !!
LOLA
what kinda game are you guys even playing at the moment
MINNIE
it's called 'let's fuck with the press and our feelings at the same time' and I'm really enjoying it
LOLA
really ??
LOLA
bc it sounds to me as though you're having some sort of crisis here
MINNIE
oh bOy
MINNIE
I'm definitely having a crisis
MINNIE
I need to get it out of the way rn before I go out
LOLA
oooh where are you off ??
MINNIE
oh you know me and Chris are just going on another fake date, no big deal
LOLA
awe this is sweet
LOLA
I genuinely think this is the first time you've ever had a noticeable crush
MINNIE
idk if it's a crush or just like mad appreciation and adoration of this hugely successful actor who's so professional on set and is sO good at what he does, but he's also just so lovely and just manages to put you at ease all the time
LOLA
hmm I wonder if what you've just described is a big ol' crush
MINNIE
of course not
MINNIE
you are being absurd
LOLA
you're being weird and I'm slightly worried
MINNIE
honestly I don't think I actually wanna be romantically involved with him but the idea of it just seems nice
MINNIE
and idk, I feel so settled on set, I think part of it is being a little too comfortable
LOLA
still sounds like a crush
MINNIE
nah isn't a crush
MINNIE
besides filming isn't long from being done and I'll get over it quickly after that
LOLA
sure you will
MINNIE
it's just that I wanna introduce him to my dog
MINNIE
and I feel like that basically means this is true love and that we should get married before I introduce him to banjo bc that's a big step
MINNIE
but then also imagine if banjo liked Chris more than he liked me ?? I think I'd cry for forever and a day
LOLA
holy shit
LOLA
breathe, woman
MINNIE
you dON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND
MINNIE
so last night he was telling me about his family and I very very neARLY REVEALED MY NAME TO HIM ??
LOLA
oh no, that sucks dude
LOLA
actually wait why is telling him your name a big deal?
MINNIE
bc right now, there's a line between my professional relationships, and my personal ones. jasmine is a personal thing, Minnie is professional, I'm not sure that I want that line to blur for him or for anyone
LOLA
but you want him to meet your son
MINNIE
!!! you finally accepted that banjo IS my child and have stopped thinking it's odd that I refer to him as my son?
LOLA
no
LOLA
the sliding scale returns once more
MINNIE
listen I've gtg bc me and Chris are headed out for dinner in a sec but just to clarify; it isn't a real crush, bc I'm still adamant abt keeping him in my professional life over my personal life, but maybe it's like a work crush ?? idk
LOLA
whatever helps you sleep at night
author's note: pls feed me comments
(((I APOLOGISE FOR THE SINCERE LACK OF CONTINUITY BETWEEN CHAPTERS ONLY I DON'T REALLY ACTUALLY CARE BC IT'S FUN TO WRITE)))