Note to you guys, the one in Italics are the flashback.
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Since I reconciled with my brother, Chris niisama was the one who taught me how to read and write. The language and alphabet here are different from what I knew in my past life and with niisama's help; I can quite understand some of those dizzy letters and words.
Having a brother is really amazing. No words can describe how happy I am to be with my handsome niisama.
As days goes on being together with Chris niisama, I can't help but reminisce my past life. What kind of life I had before and if I am close with my past family....
"Okaasama I want hug!"
"I miss my okaasama. I miss my otousama. I miss my brothers and sisters; they don't play with Miu anymore"
"Why they hate me? Is Miu being bad?"
I don't understand why okaasama never look at me after we meet the man in white. I don't understand *sniff*
I don't understand why the people around me, look at me with those scary eyes. I don't know anything, I am just a kid and I am not big enough to understand about what I do wrong but all I know is that they hate me. They hate me because of the man in white, why? *sniff*
I am too young to understand everything. I don't know why they all giving me the cold shoulder, a disdain look like I'm some kind of trash that looking at me might hurt their eyes. I am too young to understand everything but all I knew is that they hate me and I don't understand why
I heard from the maids that I have a new elder sister. I am so happy. My other siblings don't play with Miu anymore so maybe my new sister will play with Miu.
But why every time I ask my new sister to play, she also looks at me with the eyes everyone gave me.
I bit my lips to prevent the tears from flowing and ask my new oneesama, "Is Miu a bad girl, neesama?"
She just looks at me with cold eyes and behind those eyes are the looks that I hate.
Why? Did I do something wrong?
Promise, Miu will be a good girl. Miu promise will be an obedient girl... please don't hate Miu
Since my sister arrived, my parents give her the loving eyes that I dreamed of. They gave her everything but they don't give me even just a look.... a look without disdain, without a scorn look until one day, I learned the reason why
I was walking in the corridor while hugging my favorite bear, the last gift I received from otousama, when I saw group of maids talking
"I heard from young master that Miu-sama was stupid"
"Yeah. She's a dumb girl. She ruined the good name of Kosaki family"
"I learned that some people asking who Miu-sama was but madam and master either answered them with nothing or telling them that she was a child of a maid"
"*gasp* why do so? Miu-sama is still their child! Poor child"
"*sneer* who would want a daughter like Miu-sama? She can't even write her own name or read when she's already five! She's a stupid child with no brain compared to her siblings"
When I heard my name from them, I started crying. "Miu is not stupid! Miu is a good child! Miu is not stupid huhuhu"
"Oh? Then Miu-sama can you read? You don't even know how to write your own name hahaha"
"I uh-- Miu can learn! Miu will know how to read, you will see Miu know how to read because Miu is not stupid!"
Since I learned the reason why my parents and siblings disdain me, I lock myself inside my room. I started learning on my own, trying to get the attention of my family but it never happens.
I doubled my effort. No. I tripled my effort in my studies.
I never got friends nor play like the other kids around me. I gave my all in studies and eventually got a ranking in my school, but it was still not enough for my parents to give me a glance. Not enough to stop everyone from comparing me with my genius siblings. Yes. They are all geniuses. They have 140+ IQ that I will never have
My family was the famous Kosaki clan where most of the famous genius doctor came from and I am the only one who had an average IQ or what they called 'no brain'.
When my parents learned this, they started giving me cold shoulders and hide me from society.
It was hard for me to study knowing that I don't have the photographic memory like my siblings but I never give up. Maybe the heavens took pity on me that I can now remember even small details that I've read but still not enough.
My life was like a boring cycle with no leisure time for myself until the end of my grade school.
I and my classmates tour one of the famous middle schools in our area and that's the first time I felt my heart beat.
"Kosaki-san do you like archery?" My classmate asked me after we saw one of the senpai's demonstrate on how to use bow and arrow.
I shyly look at her, "I uh-- don't know"
"We can ask the senpai to teach us. Come on!"
She held my hand and run toward to one of the senpai, the captain of the archery club.
"Senpai can you teach us archery?"
"Sure"
My heart, for the first time in a long time, started beating and warm spreads to my heart.
It was the first time I wanted to do something I want. Something I like to do for myself, not for others, not for my parents but for myself.
I enrolled in a school where they have an archery club. It is not as prestigious like my siblings are but enough for me to do the one I like the most.
My parents allowed me. For them, it was better that I studied in a school where no one can recognize the Kosaki family. That I am a Kosaki.
My time and focus was divided into two; my studies and archery.
I am still in the school rank, but because I am more focus on archery rather than in my study, I never got into top 3. Well, I never even thought that my parents will ever look at me so I better enjoy what I like to do. It's not that I am going to forsake my studies because of this; I still didn't forget that I need not to dirty our family's face.
"Kosaki I registered you as one of the participants in divisional"
"Eh? B-But coach I am still a newbie. W-What if I lose?"
"Don't worry. As long as you give your all, it is enough for me. Believe in yourself Kosaki as we believe in you"
I look at them and I saw the trust that I never felt before.
I don't know what word to describe the feelings I have but.... as long as they believe and trust in me, I will give my all
"Hai!"
When it was my turn to compete on stage against other school, my parents and siblings arrive.
My world shattered. My dream puff into the air as my very own family prevents me on showing off my very own pride talent
"Stop shaming our family, Miu!"
"You don't have talent. You're just a stupid, brainless idiot"
"You're the disgrace of the Kosaki family"
"Please Miu, stop before you ruined our name anymore"
After that day, they transferred me into another school with no archery club.
They cut my wings before I can fly.
I don't know why. Am I really a disgrace of the family? Am I?
Since then, my world has turned black and white. My feelings got numb. I am like a robot who listens to the owner. My life is not my own. My life is for the sake of the Kosaki family. I don't own my life anymore.
My life revolves on studies and before I knew it, I graduated high school and enter upper tier medical university with high grades. My research was top notch and became famous in the country. My parents and siblings are now giving the glance I dreamed before. Love and attention that I wished before but.... I feel nothing. I graduated with flying colors, then start my master degree... not realizing that it was the start of the new colors of my life.
I discovered anime, manga, light novels, and otome game from one of my co-workers.
I found another meaning of my life.
I left the house, scared that my parents will found this and started living on my own.
But I died and reborn as whom I am now.
I now know what a real family should be.
I now know the warmth of a family.
And I will treasure and protect this family with my own life