Chapter 15 ― Strategies
I could ask him, ask him if he felt they way I did. I could hide in his bedroom and wait till he would talk about his feelings with any of the guys. I could try to make him jealous with a complete random lad -because I couldn't use any of the other boys, I wouldn't know if he was jealous because of me or because of the boy. I could put my life in danger and see his reaction. I could fake I was dying and my last wish was to know his feelings... Yeah, the first one was the hardest to achieve. And yes, I was being sarcastic. Asking him was the fastest and simplest option, but I just couldn't stand in front of him and ask him. What if he said no, what if he laughed in my face! I couldn't take that risk, my self-esteem wasn't prepared for something like that. Ever. My last option was to ask one of the boys about him, beg for some help. The only one with whom I felt comfortable enough to talk about that topic was Zayn. Maybe it was because of what I told him the other day, or because we could talk about almost everything, I didn't know. Whatever the reason, I felt like I could trust him.
"I'm hungry," I told Niall who was still hiding in the stairs. "Probably they got tired and stopped looking for us," I suggested pouting a little bit. He looked at me over his shoulder with a little smile.
"Okay, let's go but be careful. Just in case. Come on, follow me!" He grabbed my hand one more time and pulled me out of the stairs, dragging me to the hall till he entered to what I assumed was his room. It wasn't a total mess, but it wasn't clean either. "We'll order something from room service. Is that okay with you?" he asked making his way to the phone on the nightstand. I nodded with a smile and jumped to his bed. "Something special?"
"Just food. I'm starving, I could eat anything," was my response whilst I took my phone off my pocket and check my email. I listened as Niall made the order and soon I felt him next to me.
"What are you doing?" he asked looking at my phone. I was done with my email and I was checking twitter. "You have twitter! Why didn't you tell me?" I glanced at him briefly and saw the faked hurt expression in his face.
"Because I just tweet crap. When I'm mad, or excited, or happy, or sad. I don't tend to tweet people and I don't want people to follow me just because I know you lads. So I won't tell you my username." Very maturely, I stuck my tongue out at him.
He glanced at me defiantly and I didn't have the time to react and hide my phone before he stole it and run away from me. "NO!" I screamed jumping to my feet and running after him, but it probably was too late.
"Oh, don't worry. Here you go, I won't make you suffer, love," he said turning around and handing my phone back. I looked at him confused but took my phone and put it in my pocket, as far away from Niall as possible. "What do you wanna do now?" he asked offhandedly and I still glanced at him suspiciously, but I let it drop.
"Hmm, I dunno. We could look for the others or we could stay here and watch a movie or even play cards." Personally, I wanted to stay there with him, maybe watch a movie and use it as an excuse to cuddle with him.
"I vote for the movie," he said and I smiled wildly. I took his macbook out and looked for a movie from his library. He had many titles and I was in the mood for something nice: Thor. When he saw my choice he looked at me surprised and I just smiled.
"You know I'm a geek. Why do you seem surprised?" I asked and he shrugged.
As I made myself comfortable, my phone buzzed so I took it out of my pocket to see I had a notification. My face fell when I saw that I had been mentioned by Niall, who also told the rest of the boys about my account. The bastard had seen my username and memorised it! I glared at him murderously and he was just laughing.
"You... you... you... you bastard! I told you not to mention me!" I blurted out. "I'll never reply any of your tweets for being such a twat!"
"Oh, come on!" he complained getting closer and looking at me with puppy eyes. "How bad can it be?"
"Oh, I don't know. Let's see," I looked at my interactions. "Oh, look: I got forty-three new followers since you mentioned me as your 'beloved friend'. Thank you very much, Niall. Now forty-three girls will see my crap tweets. I hate you."
"You know that's not true. You love me!" he teased and I didn't let his words distract me.
"I won't forgive this, Niall Horan. You'll pay." He texted something quickly and soon my phone buzzed again with a new notification. 'Will you forgive me?' said Niall's mention. I stared at him with my jaw on the floor. "Twat."
He laughed and hugged me forgetting about the tweet and the even newer sixty-seven followers. Damn Niall.
* * *
"Zayn, may I talk to you?" I asked once the black-haired boy opened the door to his room.
It was late, after dinner and I had spent big part of the afternoon with Niall, cuddling as we watched Thor, then the rest of the guys joined us when they found out where we were hiding and we watched more movies, among them The Avengers. We all laughed so hard, Phoebe even cried! It had been a great afternoon. That until Liam came back with Danielle and Phebs' face fell. My own heart broke for her so I made excused myself saying I didn't feel well and we headed to our room where we did all we could to cheer her up. At the end she took a bath and went to sleep early.
* * *
"Of course you may, love. Come in." He opened the door wider and I walked in towards the bed where I sat comfortably like I was in my own room. "How're you feeling?" he asked taking place next to me.
"Me? Oh yeah, better, much better," I lied smiling and he did the same.
"So, what can I do for this lovely lady? Shall a fight a dragon for you?" he asked prince-like and I just giggled shaking my head.
"Not today. All dragons are under control so you can rest your sword, oh noble prince," I joked along, both laughing. "No, I came here because I wanna ask you something very personal. I need your help, Zayn," I told him trying to get my serious face back. He nodded inviting me to carry on. "So... I was wondering if maybe... you know, as you're so close to Niall..." he frowned and I knew I wasn't making any sense, but I had this horrid knot in my stomach and I hardly could speak.
"What happens with Niall?" he asked and I swallowed, but it was futile, I still had that stupid lump in my belly.
"Well, the thing is I-I-I like him." There! I said it. God!
Zayn looked at me impressed and I could swear I saw a shadow cross his face. "You like him," he repeated like an echo. I just nodded feeling my cheeks burning. "And you want my help with him." It wasn't a question.
"Kinda. I- I don't know if I should tell him or ask him what he feels and I thought that maybe you know how he feels and could help me," I tried to say as casual as I could. I didn't dare look him in the eyes. I was so embarrassed!
"I don't think you should tell him," he replied and then I looked at him, searching for his eyes feeling as the pieces of my heart were falling to the floor. Cheesy, I knew, but I was in my period, I was allowed to be cheesy, for God's sake! "Don't look at me like this, but I really think it's the best if you don't tell him. It would be awkward later and we still have a lot of time together ahead."
"So you're saying that he doesn't like me the same way," I concluded, the horrible pain in my chest making it difficult to breathe for me. I knew it, I knew he was going to break my heart in some way. I knew he didn't like me back! Not the way I did, at least.
"I'm not-" he tried to said but I interrupted him by rising to my feet.
"Don't worry, I understand. Don't need to say anything nice. Thanks, Zayn," I murmured fighting back my tears that threatened to run free down my cheeks. I needed to run from there as fast as possible. I wasn't going to let Zayn see me crying over his friend. "Goodnight."
I ran down the hall and hurried to my room where I entered and threw myself to the bed, burying my face into the pillow. Just then I allowed my tears to stream down my face. As Phebs was sleeping only Belle saw me sobbing and she quickly got next to me. "Sweetie, what happened? You okay?" she asked stroking my hair softly.
"No, I'm not! I told you he didn't like me back!" I exclaimed frustrated and so damn sad. "He doesn't like me back, Belle," I whispered turning around to meet her eyes that were watching me pitifully.
"Did you ask him?" she asked cautiously.
"No! Thank God I didn't! I asked Zayn and he told me I shouldn't tell Niall because it would be too awkward later," I told her, more tears running down my cheeks, and I hated them! "I should've stopped my feelings before! I should've done something to avoid all this. See what happens when you don't follow your owns words? I said I was done with guys but what did I do? I fell for another! I'm so stupid!" I blurted out wanting to hit myself for being such an idiot.
"Don't say that!" Belle interrupted me. "You're not stupid and besides these are things we can't control. If we could tell our hearts what to feel, nobody would be suffering from heartaches. They are part of being human and we have to live them in order to learn that love is not easy but is worth it."
"How can something that hurts like this be worth it?" I protested punching my chest repeatedly to make her understand I was talking about my pain. "Someone in my state right know shouldn't be experiencing something like this! I'm not emotionally prepared!" I complained and Belle hugged me tightly. I cried in her shoulder.
"I'm so sorry, Alex. You don't deserve this," stated Belle and I rolled my eyes. If I didn't deserve it, then why was I suffering it? Don't talk to me about fairness!
"Everything's gonna be fine, sweetie. You'll see," promised the black-haired girl.
"Yeah, because tomorrow I'll adopt my first cat," I stated and I heard my friend chuckle. "What? I'm being serious. I learned my lesson. No more boys in my life."
"Haven't you learnt anything from this?" she asked me pulling back so we could see each other in the eyes. "Every time you said something like that, it backfires in your face. You rather shut your mouth, sweetie," she explained with a little chuckle and I nodded. She was right the first time and probably was going to be right again.
"Right. Then... I'm so not done with guys! God, I want to fall in love right now!" Reverse psychology was my shit.
Belle just laughed before saying: "You better go to sleep, sweetie. It's gonna be a big day tomorrow and I want you at full capacity. Tomorrow we'll go out and forget about guys. You and Phebs won't remember why you even were sad in the beginning."
I didn't quite believe her, but I wanted to. "Thanks. Sleep tight, Belle." She kissed me on the cheek and I went to the bathroom to put my PJs on and went to bed. Of course, my dreams were filled by Niall rejecting me in every possible way. I didn't sleep well.