As I made my way down the stairs and through the hotel lobby, I realized not even the man at the front desk was up yet. Leaving my key on the edge, I scurried out the door just as the sun was making its appearance in the lower portion of the sky.
I glanced at the empty streets of London and presumed it was just past five. It was the most calm and serene I had seen the city, as I had gotten used to the hustle and bustle by day and wildness by night.
A couple drunk men staggered by, headed God knows where, most likely to kip. A bedraggled prostitute leaned against a brick wall smoking a cigarette, her eyes dead and drained of color. I watched a salesman peddling his cart out in exhaustion at another day and observed the milkman as he set out on his mission, his body pumping adrenaline through his preoccupied and overly working body.
"No milk today." I muttered and kept walking, trying to avoid any unwanted contact with them.
When I had made my way down the street and was approaching the heart of the city, I paused to get my barrings. If George had been near the river, I hoped he was there still. At least I was relatively familiar with the Thames and I knew that it would be hard tracking him down anywhere else in a city this huge.
Sighing in anticipation, I crossed the intersection and kept walking, beginning to see more people out and about. Things began to look more familiar the further I went. I hadn't realized just how far I had actually walked last night since everything looked different in the daytime.
I felt my body relax greatly as I spotted the place where the party had been up ahead and just ahead that, saw the Thames. Picking up my pace, I began to stride very quickly towards it, sucking in my breath as I hoped to God I could find George.
After walking a little ways further, I sighed in defeat and slumped down on a park bench.
"Oh, George." I sighed heavily sinking against the cold concrete. The leaves rustled in the trees through the cold November air. Seconds turned to minutes, minutes turned to hours. I was about to give up when I heard a voice behind me say, "Yer know, yer likely to catch cold in a dress like that on a day like today."
I whirled around quickly, my heart in my throat. And there he was, standing awkwardly by the park bench, hands shoved deep in the pockets of his peacoat. Alive and real as day. Thank God.
"Oh George!" I cried, leaping to my feet and into his arms. I felt his body stiffen instantaneously as if he were uncomfortable by my presence and I loosened my grip, frowning as I realized he wasn't hugging me back. I stepped back to survey him in curiosity.
The man standing in front of me was painful sight to behold. Dark circles lined his eyes as if he hadn't slept all night. A grimace lined the corners of his lips. And boy did he reek of alcohol.
"George?" I said, biting my lip. He looked down in shame, his eyes wandering shyly from mine.
"Wendy..." he said slowly. "Wendy, I don't even know where to start..."
"George, I'm so glad you're alright!" I rambled, still just so relieved to see him I didn't have time for the details of last night to sink in yet.
"Wendy, why'd yer come back?"
"Why did I...what?" I asked, not quite hearing him correctly. He kicked at a leaf on the ground, his face draining of color.
"Why did yer do that after what an arse I've been? Yer don't deserve me, Wendy. Yer better off in the future."
"George, don't talk like that!" I said. "I like it here, you know that!"
"I just..." he winced as if unsure of going on. "I thought you'd have left me by now for sure."
There it was. All the doubt he had built of me. I felt my stomach drop.
"Oh?"
George's eyes widened.
"I mean, not in that respect..."
"Did you want me to leave? Is that why you had to go and snog Maureen?" I snapped, tears beginning to brim the corners of my eyes. George shook his head wildly.
"No! Believe me, she just..."
"Because it's all starting to make sense now." I said, narrowing my eyes at him. "I should have known I was just your latest specimen."
I turned to go, but was met by his firm grip on my arm.
"Don't go." he said softly. "Please, Wendy. I was drunk and upset! Just hear me out..."
"No!" I snapped, wriggling from his grasp. "If you really cared, last night you'd have come and found me and would be hugging and kissing me senseless by now!"
I felt my lower lip begin to quiver and broke down in a fit of sobs as I tried desperately to control myself.
The next thing I knew I was met by two warm arms encircling me from behind and hot lips pressing against the back of my neck. I was turned around aggressively and pushed back against the trunk of a tree as he continued to peck me, first my neck, cheeks and forehead, and pausing for a moment on my lips before proceeding to hungrily kiss me. And just like that, all angry thoughts of the night before vanished entirely.
"George." I moaned, grasping his hair and gasping for air as he gave me the most passionate kiss I'd ever had. But it didn't end there. His arms wound around me so tight I could hardly breathe and soon enough I was consumed in a bone crushing hug with no intention of escaping.
"Now do yer believe me?" he asked, his voice low and husky in my ear sending chills down my spine. I gulped and nodded, snuggling to get closer as another gust of wind came.
"Now." George said, pulling back to look at me. "Let's get yer back to the flat before yer catch cold, yeah?"
George graciously offered me his coat which I happily accepted and we walked snuggled up together in contented silence although George seemed particularly deep in thought and extremely upset.
Upon reaching the flat, I was greeted heartily by a frazzled Ringo who looked like he hadn't slept a wink.
"You two are alive! Oh Wendy pet, thank God you're alrigh!" he exclaimed, the moment we stepped over the threshold. He buried his face in my shoulder and sighed loudly in relief. "I'm so sorry love, I was a daft selfish fool and I will never forgive myself!"
"Richard, it's alright." I said, pulling myself back. George furrowed his brow.
"No it's not."
Ringo nodded.
"And there is no excuse for our behavior last night."
I broke apart from his hug and locked eyes with George who was staring blankly at the carpet.
"I wrote yer somethin." he said awkwardly. I raised my eyebrows.
"Really?"
George nodded and headed for the kitchen. Ringo looked at me and smiled.
"Yeah, he was really broken up about yer last night." he said. "As soon as yer ran out he knew he'd made a mess. Went out right after the party, going out all over town tryna find ya, pet."
"He did?" I said, beginning to get choked up again. Ringo nodded.
"Mhm pet. Told me he loved yer and would stop at nothing to keep yer here. Whatever that means."
I felt my heart stop. What? George loved me?
I was stuck in a daze all through dinner and later that night when George came into my bedroom, acoustic guitar slung over his shoulder. He sat down nervously at the foot of the bed, grinning widely.
"Hi." he said, strumming a couple chords. "Would yer like to hear me song?"
All I could do was nod, and he began to strum a familiar intro and I was once again blown away by not only his talent but by the song he was singing which apparently was written just for me.
I want to tell you
My head is filled with things to say
When you're here
All those words, they seem to slip away
When I get near you
The games begin to drag me down
It's alright
I'll make you maybe next time around
But if I seem to act unkind
It's only me, it's not my mind
That is confusing things
I want to tell you
I feel hung up but I don't know why
I don't mind
I could wait forever, I've got time
Sometimes I wish I knew you well
Then I could speak my mind and tell you
Maybe you'd understand
I want to tell you
I feel hung up but I don't know why
I don't mind
I could wait forever, I've got time.
"I've got time." he said, looking me in square in the eyes. "And you've got all the time in the world." Taking my hands in his, he squeezed my fingers, his big brown eyes searching mine. I opened my mouth to speak but was still hung up on what Ringo had said.
"That was..." my voice trailed off as I thought of what I was going to say. "That was beautiful, George."
He beamed back.
"Thank you."
Then, he frowned.
"Yer didn't seem to know it...does that mean it's a flop?"
I laughed lightly.
"Oh no, George. I know that one very well. In fact, it's um..." I paused wondering if I should let the cat out of the bag on that one too. Oh what the heck.
"That one's not supposed to get written till '66 but uh..."
"Bloody 'el!" George cursed, closing his eyes. "Was I originally uninspired and lacking for another three years? Tragic..."
I giggled.
"Of course you were. You didn't have me as your muse!"
George gave me a fanged smile, but only for a second or two before it dropped completely. I frowned.
"What is it?"
"It's...nothing..."
"George..."
"I was just, um, thinkin of, uh, last night."
"Oh."
His face flushed and he averted his eyes from mine.
"I'll admit, I was a little bit miffed about Paul. And scared. And confused. And lonely. I wanted to get a rise out of yer. Make yer jealous. See if yer actually cared."
I raised my eyebrows.
"Well?"
"Well what?"
"Was I jealous?"
George looked down.
"I didn't know yer were so crazy about me."
I face palmed.
"George! What on earth were you thinking?"
He grinned.
"I dunno. Didn't mean to actually make yer mad. I was pissed out of me mind."
I gulped and shrunk back, suddenly remembering. George frowned.
"What?"
"You...you hit me..." I said softly, almost in question of the horrid event I had been trying to block from my mind.
"I what?" All the color drained from his face and he looked completely gobsmacked. "I didn't..."
I nodded sadly.
"Oh, Wendy..."
I put up my hand.
"George, it's ok. You were ill. You weren't you."
He shook his head.
"That's no excuse! I shouldn't have done that!"
Tears welled up in his eyes.
"Oh babe, I'm so sorry!"
"George it's ok!"
Wrapping my arms around his trembling body, I rubbed his back gently. When he had calmed down he sat up to face me once again.
"Wendy, I want yer to understand something right now."
I gave him a look as to say go on but he only became more upset. He sighed.
"Wendy, I'm not even going to lie. Maureen is a very attractive girl."
"Yes, she is."
George grabbed me around the hips suddenly and pulled me down beside him on the bed.
"But she ain't got nothin on you." he whispered, breathing heavily as he kissed my ear. "No woman's got anything on you."
My heart began to pound rapidly and I pulled away before it got more heated.
"Yes, but George." I said placidly. "You've gotta stop this playing around. Someday it's going to really hurt your marriage."
He hung his head and closed his eyes.
"Wendy." he said, looking up his eyes sad and empty. "Do you know who I'm going to marry?"
I bit my lip and nodded slowly.
"Yes, but you don't. And you won't for a year yet."
He hung his head again and sighed.
"Well, if it makes any difference, I wish it was you." he squeezed my hand and looked into my eyes. "But yer deserve far better."
Tears filled my eyes and I looked away quickly.
"Oh, George." I sighed miserably. "I still want you. Even after knowing all you've done and all that's to come, I still want you so very much. And thats a lot."
He hugged me, and began to weep bitterly.
"Sometimes I'm ashamed of who I am." he said, his voice muffled. "I don't want to be this way, yer know. But it's not easy to change and I can't make any promises. I try so hard to please the lads but I don't want to lie to yer, Wendy. Yer mean the world to me and I've told yer nothing but the truth since we met."
I hugged him back, nodding as he cried.
"Just promise me you'll remember me when I go." I said softly. He pulled apart, searching my eyes in panic.
"But I don't want yer to ever go! I want yer to stay with me forever! Yer the first person who's ever taken me with all my baggage and I care about you so very much!"
"I care too, George." I said weakly. We sat there like that for a long time until his lips slightly parted and he started to speak and I felt my heart leap from my chest.
"I love-"
"No George, don't!" I blurted, knowing exactly what he was about to say and it completely horrified me. I wasn't ready for him to say it even though I knew in my heart I felt the same.
"Please George." I said, looking down in guilt. George's face fell as he hung his head and nodded slowly, standing up in shame and making his way towards the doorway.
"Goodnight Wendy." he said softly.
I remained seated on the bed staring fixedly at the wall in front of me.
"Goodnight George."