Toni
I was distracted at rehearsal, like usual these days. Over-analyzing my relationship with all 4 of my sisters, trying to figure out who was most likely to throw me under the bus. As much as I hated to admit it, I wouldn't have been surprised if any of them had done it; between the 5 of us, there was always going to be disagreements and side-picking. It was inevitable.
But either way, it angered me to think that any of them would have truly gone that far. I'd kept so many secrets amongst them that it was hard to keep straight who's they were in my mind.
I didn't know what I was going to do once I actually found out who did it. The whole ordeal could change the entire dynamic between us. I didn't want it to be like this, by any means, but something had to be said. Something had to be done.
After rehearsal, I stormed to my car to make it home in time to straighten up. Face caught up to me in the parking lot and grabbed me by the shoulder.
"What's going on with you?"
"My sisters, one of them is about to feel my wrath." I fumbled for my keys in the purse.
"Why, why? Slow down. What happened?"
"One of them has told my mother about Janet and I together, and she is not speaking to me now, to make a short story even shorter."
"And you don't know who?" He furrowed his eyebrows as he put sunglasses back on.
"No, and of course no one's telling, so I gotta pry some Information out of somebody." I got in the car. Face stopped me from slamming my door shut.
"Just be careful," he warned. "Don't let this ruin everything."
"As far as I'm concerned, it already has. Excuse me," I closed my door and started the engine, speeding angrily back to my house.
The more I thought about it, the more it made me mad. One of them really thought they had the nerve and the right to tell my mother something so personal and fragile about myself. It was in the wrong place, at the wrong time, from the wrong somebody.
Tamar was the first to show up, acting all innocent as she offered to help set things up. I declined and continued to get bowls and plates out of cabinets that were frankly too tall for me to reach. But I wanted to do it myself.
"Ion know why you acting all huffy, you know I ain't tell all your business on the mountain," She flipped her long, blond hair over her shoulder and crossed her legs.
"I don't know who did it, but somebody did, and until I find out who the hell it was, I got no love for any of you." I set an empty plate in front of her.
"Well, Imma be first in line for a sincere, big ass apology."
"Mhm."
The doorbell rang shortly after, and I called for whoever it was just to walk in. It was Towanda, already looking kind of guilty in the face. She was the last person I would have guessed. I didn't interrogate her just yet, but had her sit down. Lastly, Trina strolled in, quiet as a church mouse, looking blankly around the room.
Dinner was served in a loud silence. Minds racing. They were waiting on me to explode, but I'd decided already that I wasn't going to do that.
"So," I began, cutting furiously at my chicken. "Ain't none of y'all got nothing to say? Towanda? Secret keeper?" I glanced in her direction.
"Toni, right hand to the Man, I didn't tell Mommy a word about you and Janet," she begged. If she swore on God, I knew she wasn't lying. I moved on.
"Trina?"
She held her hands up in utter surrender.
"This is so interesting." I plastered a phony smile on my face. "None of y'all did it, huh? Y'all the only ones that know. You know she didn't just go pick up a magazine and read it on her own, 2 weeks removed from a stroke, huh?"
I looked all around the table at blank stares and nervous ones too.
"And we could sit here all night, that's totally fine with me. Somebody needs to tell me something in the next twenty seconds though."
"How do you know she didn't read it on her own? I mean-"
"Trina, are you kidding me? Don't say stupid stuff." I narrowed my eyes at her, and she slunk down in her seat.
"Well, I don't know about the rest of y'all, but I'm not about to sit here and be whooped for something I know for a fact I didn't do." Tamar reached for her purse on the end of the table.
"Tamar, you're not leaving." I said through gritted teeth.
"Chile, the hell I ain't. I ain't scared of you, Toni Braxton. And the Lord knows my heart, even if you don't trust me." Worried eyes followed her through the kitchen.
"Tamar, sit down." I said one last time. "I swear to God, this isn't a joke. Damn it. Sit down!"
"Tay, just sit," Towanda pleaded. She reluctantly took her seat again. I sighed.
"Seriously, you guys? She's really upset with me, I'm scared it's putting unnecessary stress on her while she's recovering. And I know it surprised all of you, but damn it, I can't control it, okay? I love her, so she's not going anywhere. And if any of you have a problem with that, then I really don't know what to tell you."
Now it was a different kind of silence. A genuine, pure, humble quiet. No one was even thinking anything condescending. The silence was sorry.
"I'm so caught between a rock and a hard place... I love both of them to death, and I knew she wasn't going to like it, but now I don't even get a chance to tell her myself, maybe take the edge off. She's upset that we're together, upset I didn't tell her sooner, one of y'all really fucked it up for me."
"Toni, I'm so sorry." Tamar rubbed my back.
"Don't—I don't want comfort. I want answers. Who did it? You can't hide anymore." I was tired of asking, tired of accusing. Someone had to tell me something. "Was it Traci? I'll get her on the phone. Did one of you tell Mikey?" There was patience coating my voice like oil, hoping to pry them open gently like a ring on a swollen finger. Slowly, and then all at once.
"Okay, fine. Don't tell me who, just, does anyone know who it was that did?"
Towanda and Trina both raised their hands reluctantly. I sat straight up in my chair. "Seriously? Y'all know who?"
Trina nodded. Towanda looked at her in a warning fashion, as if she thought they'd already said too much.
"Tamar, you don't know anything at all?" I asked her.
"Cross my heart and hope to die." She stuck her right hand up and pursed her lips.
"Are y'all just gonna sit there and stare at each other, or is someone gonna tell me what the hell is going on?" I looked between the two of them, they looked at each other, and then me. Back and forth like a broken record.
"Y'all might as well just spit it out," Tamar groaned. "Ain't got nothing to lose, really."
"She's right, we're all adults. I'm not gonna get a switch or anything."
"Toni, if we tell you, you have to promise you won't burn the house down." Towanda warned. Trina shifted uneasily at the thought of the truth finally being revealed against her will.
"I Promise. Just tell me, please."
They looked at each other one last time, as if this were their last breath of air before I'd pull some trigger that I didn't have.
"You are not gonna be happy," Trina mumbled. "You're gonna scream."
"Say it!" Tamar exclaimed. "I'm gonna scream! It's damn near 10:30 waiting on y'all!"
"It's just that I was given specific orders not to say anything, but-"
"You're gonna say something. Right now. And then we can all go about our lives, and I won't say another word about it tonight. Or tomorrow."
"Should I say it?" Towanda asked Trina, to which she nodded.
"Go ahead."
"Okay... Toni, the person who told Mommy that you and Janet were seeing each other was... It was Face."
My heart dropped to my toes and my food almost rose up and out of my stomach. Everything was tense, ugly, painful, stale. They awaited my response. I didn't have one. Not really.
"Come again?" My voice cracked.
"He told us that it had just slipped out in conversation when we went to visit her last week—you were in the bathroom... he just-" Trina went on and on.
"You all can go." I swallowed hard, but the rock lodged in my throat wouldn't go away. I needed something. A drink, a gun, I needed Janet so bad...
"Are you Okay?"
"You gonna tell him we told you? Because he told us not to say nothing-"
"Goodbye, y'all, thank you."
They left in a single file line without a word. I sat at that empty table for what seemed like 3 nights.