(Sloane's POV)
What greeted me was the ceiling of my room and the smell of Cece's cooking still permeating the house. Thankfully the Spirits must've either listened to me and stayed away from my room or Isbal had done something. Unfortunately he couldn't figure out how to shut the window into the ShadowRealm that had ripped open at my bedside.
With that thought I glanced at the pulsating black hole of death. 'Taint' could be seen slithering slowly out from it and detaching to scurry off into hiding. I'm not amused. Isbal should have a way to clear the damn house. He needs to earn his rent somehow.
Tch! Another portion of Taint escaped the hole and flung itself the opposite of me before sliding underneath my door. Damn fuckers! My house is going to be a large blob of Taint miasma.
"ISBAL! Get your ass in here," I shouted as I flung the door open.
"The fuck?! You think your bitch ass calls and I shall provide, twat monster?! This daddy was just reducing the spirits in your room for your ungrateful ass."
I couldn't even respond to him. Why, you ask? The dumb prick was holding a shredder in his hands and slurping it with an invisible straw. His tiny puckered red lips were shaped into a little 'o' and inhaling between verbally assaulting me.
This Shredder was dragged behind his tiny stature and gave no resistance as Isbal clutched its throat within his claws.
I choked on my spit.
"You haven't been eating the Coven members out there, right? I'm all for you munching on the dead vampire souls but I still need to get info out of the others."
He gave me a disdainful look. "Shredders taste better. Anyfuckingway, why in sweaty balls did you call for me? I'm not having sex with you no matter how much you want a piece of my ass," he sneered as he gave me a once over, "Maybe in a century or two."
I rubbed my forehead. "Fuckface! Your penis is the size of a 5 year old's pinky finger. Even if I wanted to have sex with you, I don't think that nub can count as a dick. More like an enlarged clitoris. So please, fuck off with your nonsense. I need to know if there's anyway to purge the place of the Taint that's leaking over?"
Isbal sputtered at my insult and if it were possible his face turned more red. "MY PENIS IS THE BIGGEST! SO BIG I'D BREAK YOUR TWIG ASS IN HALF! I'D GIVE YOU TEN ORGASMS JUST BY ENTERING! FUCK, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU WITH MY DICK. CHOKE THAT DSL MOUTH OF YOURS WITH MY MONSTER DICK! .. oh, yeah I can get rid of that shit. I'm a mother fucking god. It's as easy as ... BITCH! MY DICK IS FUCKING HUGE! IF YOU WANT ME TO HELP YOUR PASTY ASS THAN ADMIT IT!"
Cece and Jared had joined us during Isbal's tirade on his huge cock. When I glanced over I realized Jared's usual skin color looked almost green and a sickly sweat was dripping off his chin. It was getting really difficult not laughing at both Jared's appearance and Isbal's large penis talk. Coupled together and I begun to look like someone waiting for an enema to kick in.
"ISBAL! YOUR DICK IS SUPER BIG! NOW FUCKING CLEAR MY HOUSE OF THE DAMN TAINT LEAKING OVER FROM YOUR PLACE!"
He preened at the mention of having a huge dick before he snapped his fingers with a proud look. I watched as shadows of slimy black substances were dragged from all corners of my house. They were smashed together and begun to writhe in ferver. Isbal paid it no heed as he dragged it and the shredder still in his hand through my bedroom door before kicking it into the opened portal.
"....."
"....."
"....."
Isbal threw the shredder onto the floor and begun dusting his hands together before turning back to me. "That should do it, ugly ass."
Jared and Cece couldn't see the Shredder, the Taint, nor the Portal into the ShadowRealm unlike me. So what they could see was Isbal doing some weird charades by himself.
I on the other hand was truly flabbergasted at his movements. I'm aware that he is the God who resides over the entire ShadowRealm but the fact that he looked like a mini-satan was just giving him little credit. So when I see him doing something usually impossible it gives me a large shock.
"Do you know when you'll be able to shut this portal," I asked after clearing my throat. Better to just be polite to the little satan god.
"You're the dumbshit who opened the fucking thing. You also dragged me over to this god forsaken piece of shit dimension and locked me inside of a body. How the fuck am I supposed to utilize my full Shadow Magic? Figure it out your damn self, halfie."
He left with a swagger that didn't fit the midget image whatsoever.
After he was gone I looked at Jared and grinned. "Told you so," I singsonged.
If possible, he grew even more pale at the reminder of the food he was subjected to.
"I made sure to save you some food, Slo."
"Oh hell no, Cece. I love you. I really do. But there is no way in fucking hell I will eat anything you make. Especially after that one time."
"That wasn't my fault!"
"DUDE! You were literally supposed to just heat up some easy mac. How the fuck did you destroy it to that extent?!"
"I was only trying to add some flavor to it.."
"Cece, the damn thing comes with a package of flavor. You didn't need to add anything. Plus, you somehow made it end up hard as a damn rock. That was the first and last time I'll ever eat anything you cook. Jared would love to eat your food though."
Jared staggered into the wall and Cece turned to help him steady. Concern and worry was plainly written on her face. "Are you okay? Did you not get enough rest last night?"
I begun to giggle uncontrollably at the situation my brother was in. Would he freely admit that Cece poisoned him with her food?
"I'm fine, Celise. Just need to sleep a bit more maybe."
"I'll help you to your room."
He didn't disagree with her which was surprising. Maybe Cece really did half kill him with her food since even her scent wasn't enough to drive him crazy at the moment.
After they left, I looked at my phone and realized I had a missed call by an unknown number. They even left a Voicemail surprisingly.
"One New Message.. New Message: 'Hello Sloane Abernath, this is Finn calling. I had a rather amusing visit from a certain Master Vampire last night. Something about needing my blood for a seal to help you harness your power. He also assured me that you would owe me a favor if I agreed. This is simply a courtesy call to let you know that I now hold two favors of yours within my grasp. I'm sure I will be pulling on these sooner rather than later."
The voicemail ended.
What the fuck? I feel like I really need to ask Dimitri what exactly he needed to use for these seals.. By the way that Cece had kept shifting her eyes to look at the seals on my body and the bandage on her arm, I was beginning to suspect she'd also donated blood. How'd I know? It was almost a 6th sense. Their blood was made into a seal and I felt a sort of string that attached us.
If I sorted through it properly, I could sense Cane, Auntie B, Cece, Dimitri, and Finn. Each of their colors were different and wrapped around my body in an almost suffocating manner. It only felt suffocating when I investigated though. Once I stopped looking carefully the restrictions on my body fell away and I could breathe again.
Ancient magic was strong shit.
We needed to find out of any if the SPARC members found out any info on any of the potential suspects since last we spoke. I was going to leave the Coven members to Jared. No way in hell I wanted to deal with Theresa's skank ass.
Suddenly there was a loud crash in the living room. I took off running to find out what the hell got through our wards. Cece and I slammed into one another and I was thankful I hadn't been using Supernatural strength.
Jared steadied her as we all ran into utter chaos. WHY THE FUCK WERE SHAMBLING MUMMIFIED ZOMBIES THROWING THEMSELVES THROUGH OUR WINDOW?!?! Oh god, this is going to be a fuckhole mess to clean up with the humans. There's no way this amount of Zombie's made it through town without being spotted.
A/N: I'm not sure where this is going but I like it. I just wanted to point out right now that I'm going to take a bit to update this again because I need to go back and gather information. Some of the characters and smaller details have been forgotten by me. I feel that in order to give my reader the best experience, I need to be fully invested. So, in order to do that I'll need to figure out some of these minor characters names. I've forgotten quite a few.