Hakuryuu had a relatively good self-awareness. He knew about his insecurities and his flaws and he knew about his good points – although there weren't many according to him. Well, his self-awareness was not perfect, thus he always saw himself more in a bad light. This, however, was relatively normal. A lot of humans focused more on their bad traits instead of their good ones. Hakuryuu knew he wasn't as smart, strong, charismatic and good-looking as others, which did not mean that he saw himself as stupid or ugly – although the giant scar on his face and the scars on his body made him feel inferior and he tried to hide them, because they were not a pleasant sight for him or anyone else. However, he saw himself as weak and this was something probably everyone around him agreed upon, although most of them did not say it out loud. A mere servant calling a prince weak? This only happened behind the prince's back, but never would a servant dare to say it into his face. Maybe it was better that way for everyone. It was already hard enough to know that everyone was looking down on him, he didn't want and needed to hear it out of their mouths.
His negative thoughts about himself were also strengthened by the constant rejections he received. Not only was he not smart, not good-looking, not strong enough, he also was not loved and did not deserve to be loved. He had no right to fight for his believes or to defend himself. This assumption was confirmed by the way others treated him. His sister had rejected him, when he needed her the most, his love was rejected by Morgiana, his supposed friends did not help him in his fight against Al-Thamen and saving his country and when he fought for his rights and his believes, he was looked down upon and scold. Loving himself was something he had to relearn. Self-hate was the only feeling he had for himself for many years. Hate, because he was weak, because he hadn't had a chance against the witch, because he was so powerless.
How should he compete with a guy like Ren Kouen? Kouen was a tall and muscular man, Hakuryuu was relatively small compared to his cousin and had soft features. Furthermore his cousin had three djinns, while Hakuryuu only had two – and it took him quite long to even get the first one. Well, Kouen also had the advantage of being the first in the Empire, who gained a djinn. Somehow this was more important and amazing than someone being the second one to obtain a djinn. Hakuryuu couldn't understand it, both Kougyoku and Hakuei had conquered their dungeons without an army, differently than Kouen and his brothers, who had taken many soldiers with them to reach the treasure room. Still Kouen was the amazing and impressive one, because he was the first, who got a djinn. Despite that it was hard to keep up with Kouen anyway. He was tall, had a stern expression and hard features. People were easily intimidated by his mere appearance, while Hakuryuu looked more like a nice little boy. Who would take someone like that serious? Most people would not. Moreover, Kouen had the advantage of already serving under Hakutoku. So the soldiers already knew him and even more importantly knew how strong he was without a djinn – Kouen was not just strong because of his djinn, he also was a great fighter without them. Hakuryuu had nothing to beat that. When he started to learn how to use a weapon Kouen was already assigned commander of the army, due to his skills. In Kou one had either power because one was a royal, who held an important political position, or one was a general or higher positioned in the army. The fourth prince without any important role in the political affairs or a position on the army was like a commoner – nothing!
If he at least were a good strategist, he could score some points, but this was already done by Koumei. Although Koumei was a weakling, when it came to fighting – Hakuryuu was sure he could beat him in reads to mere physical strength –, but he was a great strategist. A war couldn't be won with weapons alone. One also needed a good strategy. What Hakuryuu lacked was not intelligent, it was experience. However, how should he gain experience, when he never entered the battlefield – he was not a part of Kou's army and therefore not part of their battles and strategies. Actually, he was fine with that. He had no intention of helping the witch to obtain more power. Contrary to that it still made him feel insecure about himself that he couldn't reach Kouen's or Koumei's level – that he was not as strong or smart as them. That his older sister Hakuei also became a general of the army, did not make it any better. Of course, she got the position because she had a djinn, while he had none at that time, but it still made him feel like he was the weakest in his family, although he was the one, who needed power the most. His self-esteem was not improved by this development. It got better, when he himself conquered a dungeon. A djinn could not change everything. Kouen was still stronger than him and Koumei was still smarter and he was still not a part of the army and looked down upon. He was still on his own and needed more power. However, a djinn was a start, a good step in the right direction. Hakuryuu learned how to perform the full body djinn equip pretty fast, what made him very proud.
His pushed up self-esteem however would not last for long. When he encountered Gyokuen and was easily defeated by her, he lost his confident in himself and his power. His sister had rejected him before, so he could not expect help from her, could not expect her to lend him her power to defeat the witch. He was on his own again. If he had an army to back him up, like Kouen had, he wouldn't have to worry or feel so horrible, but he had not and this fact couldn't be changed. Also he could not ask for help from his other relatives, who were fine with the current situation. Why should they complain? Their lived got better and if they would help him, this might change – they would probably fear that this would happen.
Falling into depravity gave him some of his confident back. Maybe it was because, he now had the help of a Magi, of someone who hated the witch just like he did. Maybe it was because he obtained another djinn. Whatever the reason behind it was, it felt good.
It got even better when he finally killed Gyokuen or better said Arba. Hakuryuu always had been considered the weakest, even his supposed friends saw him as weak, and now it was him, who had killed the leader of Al-Thamen – something no one had even dared to try before. Everyone had been afraid of the organization, but he and Judar had faced them and won. What a beautiful feeling! There was nothing and no one, who could stop him now. His little success got to his head. Well, it was understandable after all those years in which he had felt like he was not even worth being alive, accomplishing something no one else had or had even tried was the best thing ever!
Hakuryuu knew that he often felt too strongly about other people. So when he liked and respected someone, he would hold that person in high regards and would not let anyone dirty their name, but when this person disappointed him, his dislike and disgust was even stronger. Somehow it was hard for him to balance his feelings out, yet it hadn't been much of a problem until now. What, however, was a problem, was his tendency to act upon his feelings. When Gyokuen had defeated him, his self-hate, his hate for this unjust world and the disappointment in his remaining family, namely Hakuei, had grown so much that the word "hate" or "disappointment" was not enough not describe what he truly had felt. If he had stayed calm and tried to ignore his feelings, he might have found another way to handle the situation back then. Eventually all the events that followed afterwards had never happened and they all could have find a better solution, a way in which no one had to die. His feelings also had caused problems when he was trying to conquer Zagan's dungeon. If Morgiana hadn't insisted on helping him, ignoring his wish to be left alone, he might have died due to his extensive Magoi use or had been rushed by the dungeon's monsters. All because he didn't want to take help from others, because he felt he alone was responsible for taking back his country and avenging his brothers, because accepting help was like admitting that he was weak. How stupid! He always had been a serious person, he took his duties and responsibilities very serious and didn't want to bother others with them. This caused him to appear a bit arrogant and distant. In his childish naivety he had thought the only way to achieve his goal, was to be serious all the time and handle everything on his own. Of course, he a lot to shoulder by himself and he was a more serious person, but he had been too stubborn. Childishly stubborn. There was no reason to refuse help from others and he hadn't had to proof himself to anyone. He had been too stiff and narrow minded. Now that he was older, he was more relaxed, was calmer. Maybe this was due to feeling lighter after defeating Gyokuen and getting back the Kou Empire. He felt more at peace, although he now had to deal with other problems. One burden was replaced by another. However, the burden felt different and he was not alone anymore. His sister Kougyoku was at his side and helped him with dealing with the Empire. She couldn't help him with his feeling of guilt, but she could help him to stay focused and to find solutions for the new problems they had to face after the civil war. And she stopped him from hating himself and losing faith.
Hakuryuu knew he was not perfect. He knew he was very flawed and had a lot of insecurities. But he also knew that he was still young and could improve himself. No one was born omniscient or was the perfect ruler from the get go – everyone had to learn how to rule a country and how to deal with other people. Until now he never had the chance to do so, therefore it was only logical that he made mistakes and even felt a bit overwhelmed – it was a bit too much for him alone.
When he had his first fighting lesson he had known nothing about weapons – how to hold them, how to use them, how to take care of them – and now he was a strong warrior and he had two djinns at his side. Nowadays no one would could him weak and he also didn't view himself like that anymore. Yes, he wasn't as strong as Kouen and not as smart as Koumei, but he knew how to survive and how to defend himself. Also he was good at coming up with plans during a fight or adjusting plans depending on the situation. He had gained some experiences, honed his fighting skills and most importantly he was not on his own any longer. Judar was on his side and would not leave. Together with him and Kougyoku Hakuryuu was sure he would be able to become a better person. The first steps had already been made and with his more or less good self-judgement – Hakuryuu was still too critical with his bad traits and often forgot about his good sides, which made it seem like he had a bad opinion about himself, which had been true in the past, and did not knew himself well – he would surely reach his new personal goal.