Even after waking up on Christmas morning and taking a long shower, it was still obvious that I had cried myself to sleep the night before. My feelings were hurt, obviously, because of my parents and also because of Ashton. I didn't tell either of them that, because I didn't want to ruin their day. I know that I had said earlier that I didn't care about Christmas, but that was before I had to spend it completely alone.
I was curled up on the couch and staring straight ahead of me, trying to figure out something to do today, when there was a knock on the front door. I immediately jumped up and ran over to it, having this secret hope that it was Ashton coming over to spend the day with me.
I had talked to Ashton since the last time I saw him, but we hadn't gotten together and hung out. I guess I just needed a little time away from him. He didn't do anything really wrong, and I didn't want to unintentionally make things worse because of how emotional I was over this. I would be fine in a couple days, and then things could return to normal.
When I opened the front door it wasn't Ashton standing there, it was Michael. He was dressed really nicely, like he had been at a church or some nice event before coming over here. He stood facing me with his hands in his pockets, rocking back and forth on his heels.
"Hi." I said, my voice hoarse from not using it in a while.
"Aw, Dani." Michael sighed, stepping inside and closing the door behind him. He could tell that I was crying, everyone would probably be able to tell no matter how hard I tried to cover it up.
Michael came forward and wrapped his arms around my shoulders, pulling me into him. I didn't hug back for a second because I was afraid that I would start crying and get it all over his nice shirt, but eventually Michael grabbed my hands himself and wrapped them around his own waist. He finally pulled away after a few minutes, leaving a small kiss on my forehead.
"What are you doing here?" I asked, "Weren't you supposed to go with Ashton to his mom's house?"
"Well, we were all ready to go and then all of this shit happened so I left and Ashton and his dad left, without even caring where I was. It's okay." Michael explained.
"'All of this shit', what was that?" I questioned.
"Ashton and his dad, they just won't stop fighting. First they were in this argument about the car, since Ashton was comfortable with getting in it and I wasn't. And then Ashton was smoking and his dad got mad at him, that's when I walked away." Michael nodded, finishing up his story. "Everyone's just so stressed out today."
"Did you come straight here?" I asked, walking back into the living room and sitting down again. Michael followed closely behind me and sat down beside me on the couch, crossing his legs over one another .
"No, I went to Sarah's house first." Michael rolled his eyes, letting me know that he hadn't had a very good time over there.
"And..?"
"She told me to leave her alone for now. I don't know what happened, but she won't tell me. It's fine, I don't know if things with her were going to work out anyway." Michael shrugged it off even though I could tell by the way he was talking that he was hurt, just like I was.
"Have you talked to her yet? Or are you still trying this silently fucking method?" I laugh quietly, for the first time in a while.
"I, uh, I talked to her the other night. You know, when I asked you to keep Ashton out of the house." Michael said, reaching up and rubbing the back of his neck.
"Really?" I said excitedly, jumping a little. "What did you say?"
"Well, I kind of moaned, I guess. It was loud, and I said her name." Michael chuckled nervously, trying not to look me right in the eyes.
"Did you have sex with her?" I asked.
"Nope. I'm still a virgin." Michael laughed sarcastically, clearly a little upset about the fact.
"But you talked to her, right? After you moaned or whatever you did?" I questioned, hoping that Michael and Sarah actually had a full conversation. As much as I liked talking to Michael, it would be cool for him to have someone else to tell some of the things he told me that weren't entirely relevant.
"Not exactly." Michael said, shaking his head.
"What's that supposed to mean?" I laughed.
"After it happened I kind froze up and made her leave, because that wasn't really how I had planned out talking to her for the first time. I kind of wanted to say 'hi', not moan her name." Michael elaborated.
"Before it happened, do you think you two were going to actually have sex?" I asked, bringing my legs close to my chest and resting my chin on my knees.
"Well, I was ready for it, if you know what I mean." Michael scoffed. "I'm not sure if Sarah was. Like I said, I don't know if things between us are going to work out."
"Why?"
"It's too complicated." Michael sighed.
"Everything with you is too complicated." I said, letting out a small laugh.
"Oh, hey!" Michael yelled, jumping up from the couch. I gave him a worried look as he stood up and searched around in his pockets, pulling out useless things like clumps of money and candy wrappers. Finally out a folded piece of paper. He handed it to me, a huge smile on his face. "Merry Christmas, Dani."
I started to unfold it, then stopped. "But I never even told you what I wanted!"
"What did you want?" Michael smirked, sitting back down next to me.
"Nothing." I shook my head.
"Too bad. Open it." Michael laughed.
I unfolded the paper and was kind of confused with what was on it. I just looked like a receipt for something that was printed off of the computer. I didn't really understand what it was, so Michael began to explain it.
"So, this is just the receipt for it, since I bought them online. You can print them off later or get them at the box office thingy. It's tickets, for The Killers concert. They're doing this greatest hits tour I guess and they're coming here, so I bought you two tickets. Take Ashton and just tell him you bought the tickets yourself." Michael said bluntly, passing the paper back to me.
"Michael!" I gasped, getting a better look at the paper. He was right, they were two tickets for the concert. "This is amazing!"
"I just had a lot of money saved up, I thought that this was the best present I could get you, and Ashton too." Michael shrugged. "He was so excited to go to the concert the last time they were here, but my sister sort of ruined their night."
"Thank you so much, Michael, this is the best Christmas present ever." I smiled, leaning in and giving Michael a quick hug.
"It's no big deal, really." Michael said as he pulled away from me.
"I feel so awful, I didn't get you anything. I didn't get anyone anything." I said suddenly, remembering that I had been planing to go out yesterday and never did. I was still too upset to do anything.
"It's okay, I don't want a present from you, really. It's okay." Michael assured me.
"I didn't get anything for Ashton either, I don't even know if he got something for me..." I rambled on, panicking at the fact that I had totally blanked on all of this.
"He'll be fine. He's too busy sulking around today to even think about presents too, he probably won't even notice." Michael shrugged.
"Sulking? Why is he sulking?" I asked.
"Dani, I told you, he's always crying unless you're around."
-
"Actually," Michael spoke, sounding like he was gasping for air. It was an hour later and we were laying upside down on the couch, seeing which one of us was going to last longer than the other. "Everyone's crying today, isn't that hilarious?"
"Not really." I said, shaking my head. I looked over at Michael, and his whole face was red. I had a feeling that he was going to give up soon.
"Ashton was crying again, you were crying. When I went over to Sarah's house to see what was up and she was crying too so she sent me away. Everyone's fucking crying." Michael chuckled. Just as I thought, he let himself fall off of the couch and onto the floor, laying there for a minute before sitting up again.
"You aren't." I countered. I flipped over too, seeing that our little competition was over now.
"I'm - I'm trying not to." Michael stammered, sitting back up.
"Do you ever cry?" I asked, seriously wondering. I had seen Michael come close to crying many times, but I don't think I had actually witnessed him really crying.
"I haven't since...uh, since my sisters funeral." Michael looked up, having to think about it for a second.
"Do you ever want to?"
"Every day." Michael nodded. "But I just...can't. Like, I'm physically incapable of it, I'm all cried out."
"I don't think that's possible." I laughed, and Michael just shrugged again.
"I'm kind of pissed off right now." Michael said, staring off into space. "Not at you."
"Then at what?" I asked.
"Ashton."
"Aren't you always?" I chuckled, not seeing anything special about Michael being made at Ashton.
"No, this time is different." Michael sighed, "I'm actually really pissed off that he did this to you."
"Did what, leave me alone all day?" I scoffed. I was kind of pissed off about that too, but I hadn't been planning on telling anyone about it.
"Yeah, he told me what he said to you. I didn't answer, obviously. But he said that he was afraid of what his mom would think if he brought you over there for the day, which is bullshit." Michael ran his fingers through his hair, letting out another big sigh.
"Why is that bullshit?" I questioned, "I thought that she was weird about girlfriends and that type of stuff."
"She is, sometimes, but I think she would have been okay with you coming by, since she knows how unhappy Ashton has been for the past few months. I don't think she would have freaked out like Ashton said." Michael said, biting down on his bottom lip. I could tell that he was uncomfortable with telling me this. Whether it was because he knew that it was going to hurt my feelings or because he just didn't like talking about Ashton's mom, I don't know.
"Oh." I said quietly. It did hurt, knowing that Ashton really didn't want me to meet his mom. It was kind of stupid, actually, that he was totally fine with meeting my parents and I couldn't even go to his mom's house for one afternoon.
"He's totally down for the idea of him popping your cherry but then he doesn't want you meeting his mom." Michael spoke, as if he was reading my mind.
I snorted at Michael's choice of words, even though it was kind of a serious topic that we were talking about. "Right."
"Whatever, Ashton's just a dick sometimes. He needs bit of a reality check." Michael shrugged.
"I guess." I said hesitantly, not entirely agreeing with Michael. I knew that he was just bitter in general when it came to Ashton, he didn't always mean exactly what he says.
"I'm also kinda pissed at your parents, for doing this to you." Michael swallowed hard, speaking after a few minutes of silence.
"It's fine, I'm used to it." I shrugged. I was used to them leaving me alone, I felt like I spent most of my life hanging out alone in my house. It kind of sucked, but I've gotten used to it. I just wasn't used to being so alone on a day like today, and that's what made me upset.
"It's not fair, parents aren't supposed to leave you." Michael shook his head.
"They'll - they'll be back." I said, but I knew that Michael wasn't talking about my parents anymore, he was talking about his own.
"It's just bullshit, again. They're your parents and it's Christmas, they should be here." Michael mumbled. He grabbed a pillow from the other side of the couch and hugged it, burying his face into it.
"Michael, it's okay. I don't care that they're not here. You're here." I said, assuring him.
"Why do people have kids if they're just going to be assholes to them?" Michael whispered, looking up for a minute.
"I don't know." I said softly.
"It makes me so mad. It makes me mad that your parents treat you the way that they do and it makes me mad that mine were so fucked up." Michael sniffed.
"You're right, parents suck." I nodded.
"I feel like I didn't matter to them, and my sister too. They treated both of us like shit." Michael shook his head. "I hate parents."
"Michael, your - "
"I just - " Michael cut me off. He threw the pillow down on the floor and ran his hands over his face, rubbing at his eyes. "They didn't care about me at all."
"That's not true."
"Dani, yes it is." Michael said. He rubbed his eyes again, but it was no use, he was already crying.
"Michael - " I reached out for him, but he backed away from me.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Michael coughed. I could tell that he was trying to hold back his tears, but he was crying too hard by now to stop himself. "I'm so sorry."
"It's okay, Michael, you don't have to apologize for anything." I said, moving closer to him.
"Why does everyone always leave me?" Michael asked, wiping at his face while the tears continued to slip out of his eyes.
Michael covered his face in his hands as he began sobbing, finally giving in and leaning on my shoulder. He was practically on top of me and it was a really uncomfortable position but I really didn't care, Michael had bottled up his feelings for too long and he needed to take the time to let them all out. It was really heartbreaking, seeing him cry like this. I really cared about Michael and it hurt to see him so upset.
"I'm really sorry." Michael said after a few minutes, pulling away from me.
"Hey, stop saying sorry." I whispered, "It's fine, everybody needs to cry sometimes."
"I just don't normally break down like that. I don't ever break down like that." Michael said, trying to laugh a little.
"But it's okay that you did, it's not good to keep everything inside like that." I said, getting up and quickly running into the kitchen to get Michael some tissues.
"I feel have no one left." Michael took the tissues from me and blew his nose, "First my parents and then my sister and now I'm loosing Ashton too. I think he's giving up on me."
"You have me." I spoke up, letting Michael know that I would always try my best to be there for him. He was one of my best friends now, and even though we had a strange relationship with each other, he was still really important to me.
"You aren't going to be around forever." Michael sighed.
"I can, if you want me to." I shrugged.
"Well I do, if that's possible." Michael said, running his hands through his hair. He really didn't make it look any better, since it was already messy in the first place.
"I really care about you, Michael." I said quietly. I wanted to reach out and grab his hand but I didn't want either of us to get the wrong idea, do I didn't move.
"I guess I care about you too." Michael shrugged again, cracking a smile.
"You guess?" I laughed, pretending to be offended.
"Dani, you know I care about you!" Michael chuckled, playfully shoving me to the side.
"Yeah, I do." I smirked. "Thanks for coming over today, by the way."
"Hey, it would be a shame if both of us had shitty Christmas's." Michael leaned back into the couch and undid the tie he had on, which he surprisingly hadn't taken off the second he walked through the door.
"Right." I nodded.
"Okay, now that I'm done being a big baby, let's order some pizza." Michael sat up straight again, clapping his hands together.
-
After five hours, 3 movies and two pizzas, both Michael and I were ready to pass out. We were sprawled out on the couch, with discarded pizza boxes and empty Coke cans surrounding us.
"I feel - " Michael paused to burp, which was disgusting, "like I'm going to explode."
"I think I had 10 pieces of pizza." I laughed, kicking my feet up onto Michael's lap.
"I probably had more than that." Michael groaned. He reached up and undid the top few buttons of his shirt, giving him some more room to breathe.
"This has been my weirdest Christmas yet." I laughed. I've never sat on a couch and ate more pizza than I could handle on Christmas, but that was alright, today was more fun that I would have ever expected.
"I don't know if this was my weirdest Christmas, but it's definitely been the most unusual." Michael sighed, closing his eyes as he let his head fall to the side and rest on his shoulder.
"What was your weirdest Christmas?" I asked, closing my eyes as well. I felt like I was going to fall asleep at any second, it was amazing how exhausting sitting on the couch could be.
"I was 8 and Kenzie was 9, or maybe she had already turned 10, but it was before our parents got...weird." Michael chuckled, "I think we were trying to drive to this one place but our car broke down so we were stranding on the side of the rode for, like, and hour and a half. There was this creepy homeless man just chillin' next to us while my dad tried to call a tow truck. Definitely my weirdest Christmas experience."
"Yeah, before this my weirdest Christmas was the time that we actually went to a restaurant to eat instead of staying here all day." I said, wishing that I could have told some interesting story like Michael had.
"Wow, so weird." Michael said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.
"Sorry I'm not weird enough for you." I scoffed.
"You know what's weird?" Michael asked, sitting up a little.
"What?"
"Virginity." He nodded, turning so he could look at me.
"You're still so hung up on this virgin thing." I laughed again, sitting up as well.
"I'm 17 years old and still haven't had sex yet, of course I'm hung up on it." Michael sighed. He shoved my feet off of his lap, almost sending me flying off of the couch.
"That doesn't really matter, I've heard of people that haven't lost there virginity until their in college." I shrugged, not seeing why Michael made it such a big deal that he was still a virgin.
"But it matters to you, doesn't it?" Michael asked.
"What?" I giggled a little, "Maybe it does a little, but that's only because of Ashton."
"So? It does matter." Michael laughed.
"Not really." I argued back. The only reason why I ever complained about still being a virgin was because Ashton and I had come so close to having sex so many times before, and I was just annoyed that it hadn't actually happened yet.
"Yes really." Michael groaned, moving closer to the center of the couch.
"No, you can be happy while still being a virgin." I said, crossing my arms over my chest.
"I can't." Michael smirked.
"Yes you can." I sighed, rolling my eyes once more.
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Michael, seriously." I groaned as I ran my fingers through my hair, shaking it out.
"Do you want to have sex with me?" Michael asked suddenly, making me freeze in the current position I was in. Did I hear him right? Did Michael really just ask if I wanted to have sex with him?"
"What?" I said, trying not to choke. "Michael, I don't like you that way. You don't like me that way, do you?"
"Of course I don't!" Michael laughed loudly, like the whole thing was hilarious.
"Then why would you want to have sex with me?" I asked, still confused.
"Well we're both all mad about this virgin thing so I just figured that maybe we could do it with each other to get it over with." Michael shrugged. It was funny how he was acting completely casual about this, when we both knew what could happen if we did what he was suggesting.
"You want to lose your virginity to me?" I questioned, raising an eyebrow.
"Yeah, I mean you're like - wait, I was going to say you're like a sister to me. That would make it all worse." Michael stopped himself and laughed again, needing a few minutes afterwards to catch his breath. "Why not?"
"I have a boyfriend!" I said suddenly, remembering Ashton. I had almost given in to Michael, it was like Ashton had completely left my mind for a minute. That really wasn't good, I needed to change the subject as soon as possible.
"And I have a sort-of-not-really girlfriend type thing, but they don't need to know." Michael said, shrugging innocently.
"I can't have sex with you, Michael." I said, shaking my head a few more times. I couldn't just cheat on Ashton like that, especially with Michael. That would ruin so many things, for everyone.
"Wouldn't you rather lose your virginity to someone you trust?" Michael asked.
"But I trust Ashton too!" I groaned. I didn't know why Michael was suddenly being so persistent about this, and I really hoped that it wasn't because he had any type of feelings for me. I doubted that that was the case, since Michael seemed to almost be in love with this girl Sarah, but that didn't explain why he was trying to convince me to do this with him.
"Honestly though, do you think you and Ashton are gonna fuck any time soon?" Michael asked blankly, switching gears.
"We're trying to...find the right time." I said slowly.
"Fine, fine. We don't have to fuck." Michael said, brushing the whole thing off. He crossed his arms over his chest and turned away from me, pretending that he was upset.
"Michael." I whined, crawling over to him.
"I shouldn't have suggested it in the first place, you have a boyfriend. It was dumb of me to suggest that when we both know how uncomfortable I get with people cheating on their boyfriends." Michael said, still facing away from me. He was talking about Sarah, and it only made me wonder if she had broken up with her boyfriend yet, and if that was the reason why Michael and her would almost having sex and them stop every time.
"It would just be weird." I laughed, "It would make things between us weird."
"Right," Michael nodded, turning around to finally face me.
I was trying to balance on the couch by supporting myself with my knees, but it really wasn't working, and I ended up falling onto the floor and taking Michael with me. He landed on top of me, almost making it hard for me to breathe.
"Get off of me." I groaned.
Michael pushed himself up a little but stayed hovering over me, now supporting himself with his hands on either side of my face. I laughed, and reached up to fix a piece of his hair that had become out of place. Michael bit his lip as he started to lean down, and I realized that after that whole conversation we just had, Michael still hadn't forgotten about what he'd originally offered.
I was actually about to lean in, though I still didn't know why I would do something like that, when the doorbell rang.
"Thank God!" Michael yelled, rolling off of me. "That was terrifying!"
"Yeah, you're telling me." I scoffed as I picked myself up off of the floor, hurrying over to the front door.
I pulled open the door to reveal Ashton, who was standing with his hands in his pockets as he patiently waited for me to come to the door. He was dressed almost exactly like Michael, with a tie and everything. Of course he had a cigarette in between his fingers as well, but he threw it to the side as soon as I was standing in front of him.
"Ashton!" I yelled loudly, hoping that Michael would hear me and take that as his cue to leave.
"Murphy!" Ashton yelled, coming towards me. He wrapped his arms around me and I spun us around, so he was facing the door and couldn't see if Michael was walking around behind us.
"What are you doing here?" I asked, pulling away.
"Merry Christmas!" Ashton smiled, leaning down to give me a quick kiss. As he separated from me he tried to turn around again, but I stopped him.
"I thought you were going to be at your mom's all day?" I asked.
"I was, it's almost midnight." Ashton furrowed his eyebrows, confused as to why I didn't even know what time it was.
"Is it really? I was just in the middle of watching a movie, I didn't even realize how late it was." I laughed nervously, hoping that Ashton would believe me.
"What movie?" Ashton asked, pulling me with him as he tried once more to walk into the living room. "Let's finish it."
I stayed where I was standing and yanked Ashton back, fearing that Michael was still in the living room. It was going to be hard to explain ourselves, we might as well just not get into it. "I want to do something else."
"Oh?" Ashton smirked, stepping closer to me. His hands traveled down my back and towards me hips, pressing me against his body. "Like what?"
"Like..." I trailed off, looking over my shoulder to see Michael quietly cleaning up all of the garbage we had left out. "I want to use one of my coupons."
"Your coupons?" Ashton asked, his lips already at my neck.
"Uh huh." I nodded, "I want my second free day."
"But it's already midnight." Ashton mumbled, his lips still against my skin and making their way to my mouth.
"Ashton." I groaned, letting a laugh out as his hands trailed farther up my shirt.
"What exactly do you want me to do?" Ashton whispered, slowly backing us towards the stairs, which would eventually lead us up to my room.
"I think you know." I bit my lip. I wrapped my arms around Ashton's neck and pulled him down so his lips were at the same level as mine, finally connecting them.
"Oh," Ashton said against my lips, "that's what you want to do."
"Is that a problem?" I asked, tugging on Ashton's tie to bring him closer to me as we started to make our way up the stairs. We were far enough away from Michael now that it wouldn't matter if Ashton turned around, but I didn't think that he was going to any time soon.
"Defiantly not, Murphy." Ashton smirked, dipping his head down once more and kissing me again.
I ran my hands up Ashton's chest until I came to his tie and I began to loosen it while Ashton's hands went as far up my shirt as they could, trying to feel as much of me as he could with my bra still covering me. We tried to make our way up the stairs as quickly as possible without falling, our hands roaming over each other's body's.
When we finally made it to my room Ashton kicked the door closed behind us, immediately turning us around and slamming me against it. Ashton's lips nipped and sucked at my skin as I continued to undo the buttons of his shirt, my hands shaking from now nervous I was, about more than just one thing. Ashton pulled my shirt off over my head and threw it to the side before moving his hands down to the band of my sweatpants, slowly inching them down.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Ashton whispered into my ear, his hand squeezing at my side.
I nodded, feeling out of breath already. "Yes."
"Alright, baby, let's go." Ashton said, bringing his lips to mine once more.
-
there are so many things wrong with this whole situation they're all in I may cry
I'll continue the smut don't worry *rolls eyes*