I didn't know where to go, what direction to travel in. The rain was coming down harder the longer I was outside and I headed for the first shelter I saw, the bunker barn. Inside the drafty building, the roof was leaking in spots. I managed to crawl underneath the broken down tractor and pull the hatch open. Once I'd dropped down to the dirt floor below me, I immediately went to the faucet and filled the basin full of fresh water. I rinsed my skin as well as I could and fell down onto the mattress. I didn't know if I should cry, or sleep, or just die. I wanted to keep running, and I felt more trapped than ever before. If it wasn't the rain keeping me in a place I now hated, it was my lack of intelligence. I had no idea where to go or what to do next. I almost failed out of high school and now I was flunking out of life.
Angrily, I threw the pillow against the wall. When that didn't alleviate my rage, I started throwing the empty cans and books as hard as could, not caring when they bounced back and struck my body. No tears would come, no matter how hard I got hit. The tightness in my chest didn't dissipate at all, not even when I stood up and slammed my fist into the packed dirt wall. A scream came from somewhere, but it didn't register in my mind that I was the one who let it out.
My hand throbbed in time with the beating of my heart. It was impossible to move two of my fingers without pain so intense I saw tiny white spots dancing behind my eyelids. A new determination filled my gut. I climbed the ladder and looked outside. The skies were still light, but I remembered that first time Bellamy took me up to the fields. The rain had stopped and I could hear footsteps coming toward the barn from the house. I didn't wait long enough to see who was coming. Instead, I took off into the wall of corn in front of me. After I'd disappeared behind a few rows, I stopped to get my bearings.
If I closed my eyes tight enough, I could picture Bellamy standing next to me, pointing up into the night sky.
"Run in that direction and don't stop until you see a huge oak tree. Off to the left of that is an old shack."
I could hear his words echo in my head as clearly as if he were speaking them to me right now. I ran as fast as I could, holding my hand against my belly. The drying stalks slapped against my face, leaving welts that ripped into the ones the rain already made. My naked arms were getting cut up as well, so I stopped long enough to pull my arms out of the short sleeves. From inside of the t-shirt, I grabbed hold of the material and kept it tight against my body. There wasn't anything I could do to protect my face other than slow down, but that wasn't an option. Not when I could hear Bellamy's voice calling out over the crop.
It felt like I ran for miles. My lungs burned and the muscles in my legs screamed in agony. I had to stop to catch my breath and when I did, I noticed the corn stalks were browner here than they were in the middle. I remembered once when Murphy, Atom, and I went into an old field to make a party pit, they said you could tell when you were far enough away from the edge because the plants weren't as dry. I took this as a sign that I was close to the edge of the field and pushed through the pain to keep moving.
When I finally cleared the field, the huge oak tree that towered high above me was the most beautiful sight in the world. I looked toward the left and saw the dilapidated structure that Bellamy must've been talking about. It was surrounded by thick foliage and I don't know that I would've seen it if I didn't know to look for it. I remembered the map on the wall had a big green circle somewhere out here and I silently prayed this shack was it.
The door was hanging off its hinges, the wood rotting from neglect and age. I pulled my arms back into the sleeves and winced when I moved my hand too much. Moving cautiously, I slowly entered the building, swiping new cobwebs away from my face with every step I took. The building was empty other than dead leaves and animal droppings. I jumped back a step when a mouse scurried across my feet, squeaking angrily that his resting place had been disturbed. Turning a slow circle, I looked for a sign that anything in here could be moved, or lifted out of place, to reveal a secret passageway.
I didn't notice the hole in the floor until I'd already stepped on it. The wooden planks gave way and I fell into the dark pit, landing hard on my backside. I screamed again when I instinctively held out my hands to break my fall. If my hand wasn't broken before, surely it was now. I swallowed the temptation to vomit all over myself and took a few cleansing breaths to calm my nerves. All I accomplished was filling my lungs full of dust, causing a massive coughing fit. I had to look at it just right, but when I noticed the tunnel, I smiled to myself.
Aurora Blake's map was right.
This was an Underground Railroad depot.
The way I saw it, I only had two choices. I could climb up out of here and go back to Rose's to admit I was throwing a tantrum of epic proportions. Or I could take my chances in the tunnels and see where it led. I never considered the third option of staying put and waiting for Bellamy to come rescue me again.
Pushing myself up on the wall, I took a few tentative steps toward the gaping black hole. I held my good hand out in front of me and let me feet shuffle along, inches at a time. The last thing I wanted to do was walk into a wall or fall into another pit. That would be the ultimate insult to add to my current injuries.
As the darkness swallowed me, my fingers ran along the rough wall. It didn't take long for me to notice the rectangular patterns. Although the floor was hard packed dirt, it seemed like the walls were bricked up. The ceiling was high enough that I could walk upright, which surprised me. I'd always imagined the tunnels being so small that a grown man would have to crawl on his belly. The stale air was damp and the walls were wet and slimy. I assumed it was rocks that I kept stubbing my toes on as I shuffled forward blindly. It was better than stepping on something sharp, so I kept the soles of my tennis shoes flat against the ground.
I had no idea how long I'd walked, but I was exhausted and my entire body ached. There wasn't a single sound down here, not from up ahead or from the direction where I'd come. Leaning against the wall, I let myself sink to the ground to rest for a little while. Even as tired as I was, I didn't close my eyes for more than a few seconds at a time. I tried my best not to let the darkness creep into my mind, so I quietly sang to myself. Not only did it break the silence, but it helped me keep track of time a little bit. Every time I moved on to a different song, I knew about three minutes had passed. Eventually, I worked up such a rhythm, the treacherous walk wasn't bothering me as much. Even the pain in my hand began to subside. In order to make the darkness easier to tolerate, I kept my eyes closed. Not only did it keep the dust out of them, it made me feel like I was in control a little bit more.
After repeating the same song at least two dozen times, I started to hear sounds up ahead. The canvas on my shoes got cold and wet when I walked into what felt like a tiny stream. I figured I was in the middle of a downward slope since the water got deeper the farther I shuffled. Shivering, I pushed on, determined to find out what was at the end of this tunnel instead of turning back. Tiny pinpricks of light came through the wall ahead of me. I had no way to judge the distance, but I hoped it wouldn't be far.
With a deep breath and more determination, I pushed on through knee deep, freezing cold water. Wrapping my arms around myself to fight away the cold was useless. I was so close to the end, I hurried up, splashing through the water. There was no way the exit was very far away, but as fast as I could move through the water, it still seemed so far away. Finally, the shape of the opening formed in front of me. I was waist deep in the water by now and my heart sank when I saw bars covering the hole.
No! I hadn't gotten this far, walked for this long, only to be trapped in. I could see dead leaves floating on the surface of the water in front of me. The light shining in was growing dimmer, as if the sun was setting. It was hard to believe I'd been walking for over eight hours, but if it was almost night, it had to be true.
When I got closer to the bars, I could see it was a rusted metal grate. Either it was designed to keep people out of the tunnel, or trap someone in.
Something cracked in the distance. It sounded like a car backfiring, or maybe like a gunshot I'd seen in movies. I wrapped the fingers of my good hand around the metal and shook it a little bit, hoping it would become dislodged and I could walk straight out of there. No matter which bar I grabbed or how hard I tugged, I couldn't get it to move. The water splashed around me and I was soaked from head to toe. My fingers ran across the wall, hoping to find a weak area. Maybe if I could get a bar or two out, I'd make a hole big enough to squeeze through.
I stopped to assess the situation and that's when the silence outside was broken again. This time, the crack was louder. Whatever or whoever was out there, they weren't very far away. Instinctively, I pressed my back against the wall and waited. I could hear footsteps running toward the tunnel entrance. Hoots and shouts followed behind, accompanied by even more motion. I could hear a dog angrily barking before I saw the deer run by.
The dog flew past just as quickly, his bark alerting the people behind him that he was still on the trail of their game. I didn't dare leave the safety of the shadow the wall provided, but I could still see a small group of boys run by, chasing the dog that was chasing the deer. I counted four boys that looked close to my age and one girl. Two of the boys held shotguns high up in the air as they ran. I didn't get a good look at the girl, but she wore a jacket that looked vaguely familiar. Maybe I'd walked so far I was back in Maverick.
After I was sure they had moved on far enough, I started digging at the bricks again. Whatever fingernails I had left were now broken down to the nubs and my fingertips burned. My foot kicked against something hard and I bent down into the water to pick it up. It was a rock twice the size of my fist. Despite the pain, I wrapped both of my hands around it and started banging it on the brick wall next to the grate. It was a tiring process, but I could see little chips breaking off with each strike.
My shoulders ached so bad it was becoming harder and harder to hold onto the rock anymore. I couldn't sit down to rest, or else I'd be up to my neck in the freezing water, so I just leaned up against the wall. I'd hit the rock against the bricks a few times before resting again. The pattern repeated many times over the course of the next hour and I'd managed to crumble a few of the bricks but not enough to get through. By now the sun was almost set, only a faint glow on the horizon lit the sky.
After I'd hit the bricks a few more times, I heard another crack. This time, it didn't sound like a gun firing. Instead, it sounded like someone stepped on a stick. I froze in place and pressed against the wall again, trying to control my breathing so that they wouldn't find me.
"I swear I heard it," a boy's voice said. "Somewhere from over here."
The footsteps grew closer and I started to sweat in spite of the cold temperatures.
"Oh come on Monty," the girl voice complained. "If there was someone out here, Barley would've sensed it already."
Please don't let the dog come, I prayed.
"What's going on?" Another voice and more footsteps joined them.
"Monty says he heard something banging over here," the girl answered.
I could hear the panting of the hound dog. It was almost as loud as my heartbeat. I held my breath and turned my head to look out of the grating without moving away from the wall. I couldn't see the dog, but I could see the girl and two of the boys. The other ones must've been scouting the area. I could hear them moving around, but the ones I could see were standing still.
One of the boys pointed out what should have been obvious to the rest of his group. "There's nothing out here. You hearing things again?"
They started walking, back in the direction they'd come from and I let out a sigh of relief. I knew I should wait a while before resuming my grand escape attempt. I had to give them plenty of time to get far enough away that this Monty guy wouldn't hear me again.
Just when I was certain it would be okay to get back to work, the snarling, slobbery snout of the hound dog appeared out of nowhere and started barking loudly. He growled at me, and I wracked my brain to remember what to do if an animal attacked you.
Don't make eye contact, my mind screamed.
I looked it dead in the eyes.
The only thing keeping me from becoming dog food was the metal grate in between us. I backed up into the darkness again. It was nearly impossible to move uphill, and my feet slid out from underneath me, dropping my body into the water like the heavy rock in my hand. I couldn't let go of it. If that thing managed to get in here, it was the only weapon I had.
"What've you got Barley?"
I could hear the running footsteps of all of the kids again and tried to stay as still as possible. Maybe if they didn't hear me, they would think the dog was nuts.
Barley lowered his head, still staring into the dark tunnel. His growl was low, but constant. The girl stood at his side and followed his gaze. I could tell she couldn't see me, but I knew if I moved at all, she might. The dog took a few steps toward the grate, the growl still constant.
Jesus, I thought. Doesn't he need to take a breath or something?
The boys flanked the dog, curious about the tunnel opening that they'd never noticed before.
"What do you think? Think the noise was coming from in here?"
"If it is, I sure hope it's G-Men soaking in acid water," Monty laughed.
My heart leapt into my throat. Acid water? My skin was itchy, but there wasn't a burn like what happened from the rain.
"Jackson, did you bring the flashlight?" the girl asked.
The tallest boy with the thinnest build reached into a backpack and pulled out a long black cylinder. The only choice I had to stay hidden would be if I submerged myself in the water completely. I'd have to do it slowly, so that they wouldn't hear me.
I took a deep breath, puffing out my cheeks, and slowly sank into the water. I could still hear muffled voices, but it was hard to make out what they were saying. The girl seemed to shriek something, and I thought I heard my name, but the fact that I was about to drown made it hard to listen closely.
"Clarke!" The voice was louder, a little clearer.
I heard a loud explosion and felt bits of rock and brick spray across my body into the water. My air supply was running out. Lights started dancing behind my eyelids and my lungs burned, begging for release. Tiny air bubbles tickled my nose when I couldn't hold it in anymore. I felt something big and meaty grab my ankle and I panicked, attempting to pull away. As I scrambled, I ended up with a mouth full of water. I tried to get away and screamed, clawing at the slimy floor, but his grip on me was too tight. One foot was still free, so I kicked out as hard as I could and came in contact with something. It must've been the boy that was grabbing me, because his grip released.
A bright light shined into the tunnel, casting a creepy shadow of my squirming body against the wall.
"Clarke Griffin?" I could hear the girl's voice again. She sounded more confused than threatening. "Come on Jackson, you gotta get her out of there."
"Stay back!" I screamed. "I have a gun. I'll shoot you." I stayed under the water so that they couldn't see my hands were empty.
Jackson backed up out of the water slowly. The explosion I'd heard must've been someone shooting into the wall because the brick was crumbled now and they'd pulled the grate back and out of the way. Once he was standing on dry ground, I could see him quickly pull off his t-shirt and take a bottle of water from his friend. As he poured it over his body, rinsing the dirty water from his skin, he shook his head. "I ain't going back in there. She wants to come out, she's gonna have to do it on her own."
They all backed away, the girl grabbing the collar of the dog and giving him a command in a harsh, foreign language that I didn't understand. She called out to me.
"Clarke, it's okay. We're not the government. We won't hurt you, but you've got to get out of that water, or it will."
"Who are you?" I stayed put, refusing to budge until I figured out who they were and why that girl looked so familiar.
"It's me, Harper," she said with a soft smile. "You were in half my classes last year." Harper turned from me and addressed the boys. "Maybe she took the serum and can't remember anything."
"If they got to her with that, how'd she get away?" Monty countered.
That's why her jacket looked so familiar. I remember sitting behind her, wondering who hand painted the floral design on it.
"I didn't take anything," I said, cautiously moving toward the entrance. When the warm night air hit my skin, the itch intensified and it took every ounce of willpower I had not to start scratching in front on everyone.
Harper gasped for air when I stood in the full beam of the flashlight. It was harsh against my eyes and I turned my face away from it. My hair clung to my cheeks and I pushed it away, clutching my sore hand against my body again.
"Jesus..." One of the boys muttered. "Have you been in there this whole time?"
"I thought you died," another said. "I even went to your funeral."
I looked at him and saw a familiar face. Nathan Miller hung out at the skate park with Murphy, Atom and me. "Well thanks. I hope you bought me nice flowers."
"A yellow rose, actually." His face broadened into a smile and he pulled his dry shirt off. He dug in Jackson's backpack and pulled out two bottles of water. "I can't help about the pants, but you need to get out of those clothes before they become your new skin." He handed me the stuff.
I cradled the bottles in my bad arm and held on to the shirt, keeping it away from my wet body.
"I can!" Harper offered. Right there, in front of everyone, she pulled off the cargo pants she was wearing. Underneath, she wore a pair of boy shorts. Monty whistled and slapped her on the butt. She smacked his hand away and started walking toward a think shrub. "Come on, I'll help."
Reluctantly, I followed her and ducked behind the foliage. Without a word, I stripped naked and carefully poured the clean water over my skin.
"So what happened to you? Where've you been?" Harper's voice seemed a little perkier than I was used to hearing lately.
I didn't answer her directly. "What's been going on out here?"
She blew out an exaggerated breath. "Other than the whole world falling apart, nothing. Joe's turned the whole country into chaos. We're all under martial law. Curfews are ridiculous and everyone our age has been taken. Well," she paused. "Almost everyone. We got away. There's a few more, and we've heard there's rebel groups forming from coast to coast."
"Rebel groups?" I pulled the t-shirt on and slid my wet legs into the pants. The fabric was dry, but it still clung to every drop of water on me.
"Yeah, it's crazy, isn't it? I mean, two months ago, we were all just teenagers waiting to go to the next party. Now we're learning how to shoot guns and hide in caves and hunt for our own food. It gets really gnarly when the rains come, but we've noticed a pattern, so we usually can get to cover in time."
She pulled her long blonde hair out of the rubber band and put my hair up in a messy bun to keep it off my neck. I welcomed the breeze against my skin. "So it's only you five? Who are the others?"
I didn't want to ask directly about Murphy and Atom, but she knew exactly what I meant and shook her head slowly. "It's best if you ask Miller. He probably knows more than any of us."
I looked over toward the boys and gathered up my wet clothes. "Who're the other guys?"
Harper smiled again and pointed to each in turn. "That's Monty, my boyfriend. You know Miller already, and that's Jackson and his brother Jasper."
"What are you guys doing out here? Do you live in the woods?"
"We pretty much roam where we can to find food. There's a couple of places we can crash at if we need to, but never for more than a day at a time. Jackson and Jasper snuck to their old house this morning and stole the guns. We figured we'd try hunting. It's been a long time since we've had real food, ya know?"
I knew, but not in the same way. "So did you get the deer?"
Harper laughed. "Heck no! Those boys don't know how to shoot a gun to save their lives. Too bad the idiots didn't think the grab more ammo. A few more shots from now, those guns will be all for show and that's about it."
My mind drifted back to Bellamy's farm. He could make bullets. And his grandmother had food. The cool breeze danced across my skin again, making me shiver. The boys had gathered wood and piled it up in a circle. I didn't realize how tired I really was until I sat down next to it and let the heat seep into my bones. Miller was across the fire from me, poking the embers with a long stick and making sparks fly up into the air.
"Aren't you afraid someone might see the smoke and catch you?" I asked.
Jackson was the one who answered. "Naw, the G-Men all took off yesterday and headed northwest out of town. My guess is they've got new people to terrorize and kidnap."
I swallowed hard, not wanting to think about who'd been kidnapped. Jasper moved over and sat down next to me. He was taller than me, but shorter than Bellamy, with shocks of red hair chopped in uneven layers. Dirt smudged his skin and he smelled like a combination of body odor and outdoors. He pulled his knees up and crossed his arms on them, resting his face and looking right at me.
"If you're not dead, does that mean Bellamy is alive, too?" He finally spoke after giving me the strangest long look.
"You mean Nerd-Boy?" Miller laughed. "Remember that guy, Jackson? He came to Atom's party and held up the walls."
Jackson laughed at the memory and my face turned red. "He has a name," Jasper scolded.
A part of me shrunk inside, knowing that I was the one who started the nickname in the first place. Jasper was still looking at me, waiting patiently for me to answer.
"I used to go out with Octavia Blake, his sister. I just wondered, that's all. I hated to hear her brother died so soon after she lost her mom."
I didn't know if I should answer Jasper's question or not. What if they were spies? Then again, how could they be? They were kids my age, not weird government lackeys looking for information. I looked at Miller through the flames again and decided not to answer Jasper. Not yet anyway. "Have you seen Murphy?"
Miller's gaze looked up through the fire and locked onto mine. Hatred dripped from his mouth when he answered me. "He joined up with the soldiers. I'd say he was personally responsible for rounding up most of our old crew."
No, that couldn't be.
Murphy was the biggest rebel I knew.
"Good lord, Miller. We all know why he did it, so settle down." Jackson cut in.
"Why's that?" I asked. There had to be a reason. I just hoped it was a good one.
The look on Jackson's face was more serious than any I'd ever seen on an adult. "They took Atom. Hell, they took Fox and the baby, too. Don't you think Murphy would jump at the chance to go find them?"
"That's no reason for him to come and take my little sister. I swear, if I ever see his face again, he'll wish I hadn't." Miller poked the fire, sending another shower of sparks into the sky again.
I crossed my legs in front of me and digested what I'd heard. I could see Murphy charging into a situation that was dangerous to save his brother. Atom was probably the only person in the world he would do that for. But I couldn't picture him turning his friends over in the process. "Maybe he got drugged?" I offered.
Jasper shook his head. "Anybody who got ahold of that crap was out cold for two weeks, give or take. Murphy joined up right away and the night he came to the skate park with the soldiers, he was fully aware of what was going on. That was less than a week after the plant blew up."
I wasn't sure what burned more, my skin or my heart. Murphy was gone. Atom was gone. Hours ago, I ran away from the only friend I had left in the world. Once again, I gave myself two choices. I could sit around and throw a pity party, which is what got me here in the first place. Or, I could go back, tell Bellamy what was going on and we could work together to figure it all out.
"Bellamy's alive, too." I finally answered Jasper and watched the expression on his face lighten up a little bit. "So is Octavia and their grandmother."
Jasper laughed. "That Rose is a tough old lady. Even when I heard the soldiers were out at her place, I knew she'd be okay."
A thought suddenly occurred to me. Was Murphy there as well? Was he one of the reasons I'd been trapped in that dungeon for so long?
"Do they have food and water there?" Harper sounded so hopeful.
I knew I shouldn't offer it, but I didn't care. These kids needed help, and Rose Blake's farm was a good place to start. I nodded and leaned back, forgetting about my hand for a second too long. I winced and pulled it out from underneath me right away.
Monty noticed and came over to look at it. One by one, he moved each of the fingers in all directions. It hurt so bad I wanted to punch him, but I bit my lip and swallowed the pain. After squeezing, poking, poking and twisting my hand, he grabbed hold of my ring finger tightly. "It's jammed, not broken. Brace yourself."
I didn't even know what he meant by that, and when he yanked on my finger, I nearly passed out. Crying out into the night, I could hear my scream echo through the air. My hand was still sore, but at least it didn't hurt worse when I moved it.
Harper grimaced. "That's gotta suck," she said through gritted teeth.
"You think?" I growled.
I lied back on the soft ground and looked up at the stars. It wasn't hard to find the Big Dipper and from there my eyes wandered toward the North Star. Everyone around me was quiet, so only the sounds I heard were the crackling fire and the heavy panting of the dog. I was so used to hearing tree frogs chirp all night, it seemed so odd that I couldn't hear them now. I wondered if the rains killed them all, or at least drove them all away.
Eventually, my eyes closed and I drifted off into a fitful sleep. Every few minutes, I would wake up. I couldn't tell if it was because I was so lost, or if it was because I wasn't used to sleeping alone again. Part of me expected to be snug in my bed, ending this whole nightmare. But each time I saw the stars twinkle overhead again, I knew this was my new reality, like it or not.