For Teddy Los Angles meant work more than anything else, which was usually fine because Teddy loved working. Sure there were aspects on the business side that were a little colder and more calculated than he would have liked but generally Teddy preferred to be working than anything. Still LA was a difficult place for Teddy and not his first choice to spend his down time in because he never really got a break when it was in this city.
Part of Teddy's job was to play a role. He had to be the Teddy King that had been cleared out, cleaned up and presented perfectly packaged to the world. Luckily the 'Teddy King' persona wasn't very far from his own personality, some aspects were exaggerated and others were down played but it was mostly just him. Still it was exhausting maintaining control and when he was in LA never really got the chance to let go because in LA he was always Teddy King, never just Teddy.
Teddy didn't love LA, but he didn't hate it either. The perks that celebrity offered were beyond anything anywhere else and as much as he wasn't supposed to admit it Teddy loved the attention that LA afforded him. He liked rubbing shoulders with the rich and famous, he liked being seen in places everyone wanted to be seen, he actually liked playing the game for the most part. But he could only do it for a short amount of time before it drained him and he had to head back to Sydney, or even out on the road for a recharge. He couldn't live in LA full time, not like Luke did.
Luke, as with everything in Teddy's life, was probably the most complicated aspect of Teddy's relationship with LA. Because part of him, no matter how irrational that part was, blamed the city for stealing Luke away from him.
When Luke told Teddy he was moving out of the apartment they shared and half way around the world it felt like it came out of nowhere. It made sense in hindsight, Luke's first big blockbuster wrapped shooting and he needed to go where the work was. Every Australian actor made the move eventually. Some of them, like Luke, genuinely loved the city and wanted to live there. Others moved in the hope that one day they'd be successful enough to move back to the ass end of the earth without it having a profound effect on their career. Either way Teddy should have seen Luke's move coming, but he didn't. For him it felt like Luke went to LA one day and just never come home. He might never forgive the city for that.
The first few days after Teddy got off the plane were crowded with money men. The creepy old guys that were in charge of Teddy's past, present, and future. They made homophonic comments while at the same time leering at Teddy in a way that complicated their words and at the same time made them more threatening. Teddy smiled and played the part they'd built for him. He was there to lend legitimacy to Rah's arguments because in an incredibly mundane reality, the money men were just as impressed by celebrity as anyone else. They often over looked Rah, but she was too good at her job and every time Teddy watched her work he thanked his forethought at picking her as his advocate when he was seventeen and in way over his head.
Teddy always remembered the first time he saw her, she was working as an assistant at the management company he'd been recommended by someone he didn't know. That, in itself had been Teddy's first mistake and Rah had told him so, when she'd followed him into the bathroom after he excused himself for a private panic. She followed him into the mens bathroom to yell at him and she hadn't left his side since. She'd been this brown skinned queer woman that swore more than anyone he'd ever met and she was the first person since he'd been plucked from his obscure youtube channel and dragged into the music industry that had spoken using straight forward, clear language. He'd ended up signing with the company, but only if he got Rah. Because they were both young, and both building their career together at the same time, there had been more than a few teething problems but it was worth it. Some people said that Rah would not have a career without Teddy but the truth was there would be no Teddy King without Rah, so he was happy to lend a hand in any way he could.
Once the money men were satisfied Teddy's only job was to be seen. Luke was busy prepping for promo and Rah was knee deep in reworking the plan for his third album release now that it was his big coming out album. Teddy could never get any writing done when he was in LA, it was like whatever part of his brain wrote songs shutdown the moment he entered the city, so Teddy threw himself into being seen and it was actually kind of fun.
Teddy was having such good time playing celebrity he totally forgot that in between interviews Luke was doing the same thing he was, being seen. It was important that the world knew they were both in the same city at the same time. There were only a few places people actually wanted to be seen at any given moment so Teddy probably should have guessed they'd run into each other at some point. Maybe if Teddy had been prepared, it would have been slightly less awkward.
Teddy's first instinct when he saw Luke walk through the door of the restaurant was to hid behind the potted plant next to him. Thankfully he managed to curb that instinct just in time and remain standing, which was good because the plant would not have hidden him from view at all. His next idea was to try to act casual, which might seem reasonable but anyone that's ever tried to deliberately act causal knows it is impossible. The moment you tell yourself to act casual all sense of reality melts away and you suddenly have no idea where to put your hands. What did you do with your hands before? Who knows. You sure don't. Whatever you end up doing with you hands, usually holding them in a really uncomfortable position, always looks noticeably strange, which is the opposite of casual. That's how Teddy looked when Luke saw him.
While Teddy played a role, Luke was an actor and he was really a rather good one. He barely flinched at the sight of Teddy trying to look casual and failing. Teddy saw the flicker of discomfort though, that was an unfortunate side effect of knowing Luke as well as he did, Teddy could no longer believe the lie. He saw the truth in Luke's face even when no one else could. A momentary flicker of real was all it ever was and then Luke was walking towards Teddy smiling like he'd never been more pleased to see anyone in his life.
Teddy tried not act as shocked when Luke pulled Teddy into his arms. It was just a hug, but it lingered and they weren't supposed to be seen together yet, that wasn't part of the plan. Teddy very much liked plans, and Luke knew that. Teddy and Luke touched a lot when they were alone, or with friends, but it was never something they'd done in public so for Luke to just walk up and hug him was just strange.
"What are you doing?" whispered Teddy, plastering a smile on his face still unsure of what to do with his hands.
"We're being watched," said Luke, his hand resting softly on Teddy's shoulder in a seriously distracting way. Teddy somehow managed to ignore the warmth of Luke's hand look past him to see the gaggle of girls pointing excited in their direction. He gave them a small smile and waved watching the excitement that ensued.
"Shit," Teddy said turning away from the window so they wouldn't be able to read his lips as they'd been known to do.
"They were unusually giggly when I spoke to them," said Luke with the good humour of someone who'd been caught in this situation before. "Should have guessed they knew something I didn't."
"I always assume they know something I don't," replied Teddy with a resigned sigh, chancing another look to see six different phone camera's pointed right at him.
It wasn't their fault. Not really. He'd come to this place specifically because there was a good chance fans would find him there. That was part of the plan. They were part of the plan and they were doing their job perfectly, it wasn't their fault that both Teddy and Luke had turned up at the same place at the same time. That wasn't part of the plan, that was just another example of the universes twisted sense of humour. Of course it probably could have been avoided if Teddy hadn't been ignoring Luke's texts since he arrived in LA, but everything's easy with the benefit of hindsight.
"So what do we do?" asked Teddy about to pull out his phone and call Rah, which was his go to solution for every situation. There was a good chance those girls had already tweeted their location so they'd no doubt be joined by others very soon. They'd have to leave before they did anything else.
"Improvise," said Luke leaning down to press his lips gently and quickly against Teddy's lips killing his next comment before it began to form. It was a tiny kiss, so quick, simple and familiar that there was no guarantee that any of the girls watching them actually captured it on camera. But it was still a kiss, and it was still public, and it suddenly hit Teddy that he'd never done that before. He'd never kissed a boy in public. It was a first.
The older you get the less you expect firsts, as you hurtle through your teens firsts happen every day. Almost everything is a first, it's all very exciting but it's also expected because everything is new. As you grow into your twenties those firsts become more shocking and unexpected in way because they're so few and far between. Teddy had had a few firsts recently but that tiny little kiss felt bigger than anything else. He was more aware of the girls and their cameras than he'd been in years and it unsettled him in distressing way.
He tried to hide his discomfort but Luke looked right through him at Teddy's growing panic like it was a dog he'd just accidentally stepped on.
"Alright let's go," said Luke placing his hand in the small of Teddy's back and leading him through the restaurant and out the back. He must have texted someone while they were walking, texting without looking was Luke's party trick, and there was a car waiting for them. Teddy had cooled himself enough by then that the mask was back on, his momentary lapse pulled back into the fold, but the thoughts that had caused the panic were still there festering underneath a calm veneer.
"I shouldn't have done that dude I'm sorry," said Luke the moment the car had pulled away from the curb.
"Don't worry about it."
"I am worried though," said Luke. "I should have asked at least."
"Since when have you asked before you kissed me?"
"I definitely asked the first time. I distinctly remember asking."
There was a blast of memory with those words as Teddy remembered that moment, another first back when firsts felt more natural.
"Yeah you did," said Teddy. A fond smile forming on his lips.
If the first time Teddy and Luke slept together was embarrassingly unromantic then the first time they kissed was the exact opposite. It was in the living room of the apartment they'd only been sharing for a couple of weeks, right next to the old brown couch they'd scored for free on Gumtree. The day before Teddy had been on a disastrous date with another closeted musician, it was the date that had made him realise what he was really sacrificing to achieve his dream. He hadn't been upset about keeping his sexuality quiet, not at first. But then he'd been set up on what had turned out to be a booty call and Teddy realised he wouldn't get to date, not like everyone else. Romance was supposed to be spontaneous, and natural, and Teddy's new life didn't allow for that. He was trying to act cool about it, pretend he was happy he wouldn't have to pretend he was into any of that romance crap but Luke had seen right through him. Teddy was always a hopeless romantic, that's why he wrote such good love songs.
Luke had stood in the middle of the living room held his hand out to Teddy and asked him to dance. Teddy had laughed at first, but Luke stood firm hand out waiting for an answer. It felt stupid but somehow Teddy stopped laughing and placed his hand in Luke's. Luke pulled him to his feet, wrapped his arms around Teddy's waist and they started to sway together. Teddy wasn't sure what to do as he awkwardly pointed that there was no music. Luke's eyebrows did the little jolt up and down that would eventually become his signature movie star move and he started to sing, off key. Luke was perfect in most ways, but he was a not a singer. Teddy burst out laughing as Luke swung him around the living room butchering some song Sinatra had made famous. Luke laughed along with him until he stopped. Stopping laughing, stopped singing, stopped dancing. They stood silent, still, starring at each other for a moment before Luke asked "can I kiss you?" and Teddy had replied "whenever you want."
Luke did kiss him and Teddy kissed back. They spent the whole evening kissing and dancing and laughing and at the end of the night they decided it would be for the best if they didn't take things any further. They used a lot of cliche excuses, like youth and careers and not wanting to ruin friendships but they felt true. They were true, at the time. It was probably the last time they had an honest conversation about their relationship and it was the right decision. Even after everything that happened between them Teddy still looked back on that night fondly. It had been exactly what he needed, and Luke had known that. It's a stark reminder that before everything else Luke was his friend and Teddy would never do anything to jeopardise that, not again. He'd break his own heart a thousand times rather than lose his friendship with Luke.
"You did the right thing," said Teddy reassuring himself as well as Luke. "With the kiss. It's fine."
"Fine?" question Luke. "I didn't realise it was that bad."
"Have you been talking to Lily?" asked Teddy remembering what his sister had said about the word weeks ago when they were drinking the bottle of tequila that had started it all.
"We text," admitted Luke. "She worries about you."
"She's a worrier."
"Only when it comes to you kid."
"For fuck sake stop calling me kid when you just kissed me it's weird and creepy."
"Sorry again," said Luke. "About the kiss not the kid thing. I'm gonna keep saying it as long as you keep reacting like that."
"You're a fuckwit... and it's seriously all good about the kiss, I don't know why I freaked. Guess it hit me that this is really happening. There's no going back from there. I'm out. Really out. So far out the door has closed behind me and locked."
"Do you want to go back?" asked Luke. "Do you really want to go back in the closet?"
"Are you going to judge me if I say yes?"
"Probably," said Luke.
"It's just it was easier wasn't it?"
"I'm trying to get where you're going but I'm not mate."
"I don't know how to explain it. Everything was seperate before, I guess. I didn't have to worry about people judging my relationships, or my love life, or my sexuality, because none of it was real. Everything they said wasn't real. But now it's out there and now I have to hear everyone's opinion on who I love and that fucking sucks. So yeah, it was easier before."
"Never thought about it like that," said Luke looking out the window, to avoid eye contact probably.
"It's kind of shit right?" asked Teddy.
"Yeah it is," admitted Luke. "Still worth it."
"At least our relationship's not real so it doesn't matter what they say about that," said Teddy after contemplating Luke's words for a moment too long.
He thought it was a good way to shift the conversation. Move onto something more lighthearted, less serious. Teddy was using their lies as a shield against what everyone said. He could pretend it was the same. Anything anyone said about Teddy and Luke didn't matter because it was just as fake as any of the relationships he'd was supposed to have had with women. He was a little confused when Luke didn't smile along with him but he was quickly distracted by a text message from Alice asking why he was making out with Luke in one of the busiest restaurants in LA.
"Well it's out," said Teddy, showing Luke the blurry video of the tiny soft kiss that ended any chance of Teddy changing his mind.
"I think you mean we're out," said Luke, punctuating his words with finger guns.
"You're still such a fuckwit," replied Teddy.
"That is a horrible thing to say to your boyfriend," said Luke.
"Boyfriend?" said Teddy, trying the words on his tongue. "Oh god that's weird."
"Get used to it, the world's going to be referring to you as Luke Ryan's boyfriend from now on."
"Fuck off, if anyone's going to be labelled it's you. Get ready to be Teddy King's muse."
"It's my movie mate," said Luke with that annoying smirk he wears whenever he's right. "That means it's my headline."
"Fine but I'm going to write a whole album about how much of a fuckwit you are so I think I win."
"Half the world already thinks all your songs about me anyway, I'm used to being your muse."
"Yeah well that shows what they know, none of my songs are about you," said Teddy.
"None?" asked Luke.
"Maybe one," replied Teddy.
"Which one?"
"Not the one your thinking."
"How do you know which one I'm thinking?"
"Because you're always thinking about sex. I only have one song that's explicitly about sex and it's not about you."
"Are you sure?"
"Very."
"You're saying the person you described as the best you've ever had is not me?"
"That is what I'm saying yeah," said Teddy as Luke's hand slowly creeps up his thigh. "Sorry to offend."
"Oh that's not offensive," said Luke pressing his hand against Teddy purposefully.
"Really?" sighed Teddy his voice rising with the tension. "What is it then?"
"It's a challenge," said Luke.
Before Luke could try to beat that challenge Teddy's phone buzzed shocking them both from the trance of each others company. It was Rah, Teddy couldn't ignore her especially after what had just happened. He really should have called her already, it was interesting to see the gap in time between Alice's fan connections and his teams response, he should probably hire a fan to get news on time. Teddy swore under his breath, pushing Luke's hand away and picking up the phone not daring to look at the man next to him in case he gave in and just threw the phone out the window without saying anything to Rah.
Luke apparently had the same instinct as Teddy because before Teddy could bring the phone to his ear Luke had snatched it out of his hand.
"Rah it's Luke, Teddy's fine, we're both fine. We got caught together and just moved the timeline forward a little. He's going to lay low at my place. He'll call you tomorrow. I'm turning his phone off now."
Luke went silent for a moment before he said "understood", hung up the phone, unbuckled his seat belt and climbed on top of Teddy. This isn't safe, Teddy thought before he stopped thinking. When they finally made it back to Luke's Teddy makes a point to mention how unsafe it was for Luke to take his seatbelt off while the car was moving. They were in the shower at the time so he's not sure Luke heard him, but at least he made his point.