The sun hit your eyes. Refreshed is what you felt after crying buckets into the fabrics that smelt like a mixture of your hair and Namjoon's skin. Having not thought of anything other than happiness for Kennah and wherever he was as of now, you felt lifted, light, and weightless. Like him and his body as it disappeared away from you, you felt free.
Free from your own mind.
Free from your own weight, nightmares, terror, and fright. You hadn't felt this way about yourself and your life in a long while. You felt like...well, you again. And for the first time since you were born, you somewhat understood what that even meant.
"You done stealing my bed?"
You rolled your eyes. But that smile on your lips was amazingly large as you shuffled onto your other side, purposely moving the bed underneath so it could creak. Giggling, your scolding eyes glared in playfulness at the body that had tiredly gotten up from the couch in the living room, and now on the pillow next to you. In the morning, he came to kick you up, out and awake, so he could find some sleep himself.
You hadn't moved however. Smiling to yourself, you freed yourself from burdening the thought of Kennah, or feeling terrible, as you let yourself lay in the same bed as the man that held you and helped you to such freedom you experienced. It was partially due to his kindness, his character, and how overly caring he was for others well being. As a leader, you expected that from him. But seeing this reaction to you and your troubles was what caught you, captured you, and didn't let you deny his charm.
Namjoon lay with his eyes tiredly shut next to you. He held a smile, almost seeing you glaring through his closed eyelids. "Out out," he mumbled and you glared harder. Your cheerfulness only growing.
"No."
"Yes. I need to sleep. Crashing on the couch is starting to hurt my spine," Namjoon hummed as he exaggeratedly rubbed underneath his torso. His face scrunched and you giggled at him being over-the-top.
"Well then sleep. What am I saying? Nothing at all."
"I can practically hear your eyes staring."
You rolled your eyes. "That's impossible."
"Not for me it isn't, I'm a genius."
"Being a genius doesn't give you superpowers my friend," you chirped, amused by him playing around, "closed eyes don't allow you to hear what other people's eyes are doing."
"You're staring, aren't you?" Namjoon tested, amused as well.
You lied. "No."
He grinned, his dimple making its appearance causing your heart to flutter.
Your voice was soft, smile fading into a warmer one as you stared at that dimple, his cheek, his neck, and the way his hair whipped and framed his bed-head-mess of a skull. Everything about him screamed exhaustion, but there was an underlining attractiveness in the way he presented himself even while sleeping. Namjoon was beautiful almost all the time you laid eyes on him; whether that was since you clearly fell for him or not, biases or no biases, he was an aesthetic and there was no denying that.
"Okay...maybe I was a little."
His eyes peeked open as you finished that. Chuckling, he turned to his side so he could face you.
You panicked a little as he did. Namjoon turned to fast, causing the pillow he was on to scout closer towards you. As if it were natural, his breath hit your cheek, and even past the morning breath, the warmth of an alive human was enough to make your cheeks blush and lips part open. Heart raging in your chest at him too close, Namjoon didn't seem to care as he snuggled into the pillow and let his knees tap over yours that were under the blanket.
"That's what I thought."
You slowly allowed yourself to snuggle the same way he did. Mimicking his movements, you clasped the sides of the pillow with your hand, digging your fingers into the fluffiness of the cushion. Cuddling your cheek into the fabric that you once cried on, it was dry now.
"You really going to sleep?" you whispered, hesitant and in awe of the beauty of his sleeping form that was so insanely close to you.
You could still feel his breath on you if you tilted further over. Doing so, you smiled before shyly moving into your own pillow so he couldn't smell your awful morning breath so close to his face in consequence.
"Mhm. That's why I came here."
You pursed your lips from smiling. Your cheeks were getting hotter.
"No, you did not." Namjoon's brows furrowed, eyes still shut, and you continued, "You came here to check up on me like you always do every morning."
His eyebrows relaxed, small smile grazing his perfect plump lips again. "That obvious?" His eyes were open now.
You considered them and could've sworn you almost dived right into the rich colour of them. Not knowing what he saw in return as you stared in the same awing expression he held, it was as if he just realized the space between you two. And for him, the brightness of his face was obvious as you visibly noticed your presence make him blush.
He was about to move, but you spoke. The courage that railed within you made you want to scream in joy. Too tired to however, you simply shook your head and moved closer as he tried to shift away. Namjoon flushed further when seeing you voluntarily moving closer to him.
"What you up to?" he asked, voice heavy from he rasp in the morning.
"Morning cuddles, daddy," you purred and he smirked a little.
"You gotta cut that out, the boys look at us weird."
You shrugged, bravely allowing yourself to share the same pillow as your nose touched the crook of his neck. You smelt him for a moment and he flinched away from the tickling sensation. Namjoon didn't flinch anywhere else when you wrapped your one leg closer to his, feet tangling with his. While the palms of your hands moved across his chest. You hugged him. He allowed you to.
Soon, the blushing reformed itself into a comfortable heat as he relaxed in your touch.
"Well then," you mumbled with a whine, "Let them stare."
Namjoon sighed. His smile soft when looking at the top of you head. Letting his arm maneuver, it's way under your form, you hugged you to him more naturally. Having his thin arm crushed, he didn't care as he scooped you up the best he could and held you as if his life depended on it. The fact that he kept remembering the conditions you were found it only legalized what he did with you now more. This felt right. This felt normal.
You rested your ear between his pecks. Feeling how hard he was underneath his shirt was a given. You knew the man held muscle on his skinny body, and that only presented itself now when he held you. Smiling and listening to how fast yet somber his heartbeat reacted, you played and experimented with it by slowly moving your hand that hugged him innocently under the corners of his shirt. He shivered. His heart went wild.
Before you could inappropriately leak your way closer to feeling over his stomach, he held your wrist and brought you slowly away from teasing him. His cheeks were back to being red, and whatever happened not seeming natural.
Sure, it was something you both clearly wanted. But a touching, feeling, and sensation in that sense wasn't what either of you were clear on. So, he stopped you. Just for a moment. Namjoon stopped you.
You found your cheeks getting hotter as well. Moving your wrist away from his rejected touch in embarrassment, you pulled it to his chest so it was at a comfortable level for him. Seeing as he sighed when you moved your hand away from his, Namjoon was about to speak but you beat him to it.
"You know the plan for the concert, right?" you asked. Gentle. Soft. Conflicted your voice was.
Namjoon licked over his bottom lips slow. He noted how he changed the subject and he relished in the answers he was about to shoot your way. He had been listening the planning now. He knew what to do and what was to come of the events of the concert. "Yes," he replied, "We will confront Aoroma only after the concert. Authorities have finally been informed, along with BangPD who will have our side through this. We will be okay."
"How okay we are depending on her actions on that concert day and how well you and your boys stick to the plan," you snorted.
Namjoon ignored you as he thought of Aoroma. His jaw clenched hard. "I had to see her multiple times since then and pretend everything was alright. Every time she touched my shoulder or played into her façade...Ah, you have no idea how hard it was for me not to throw punches."
"I heard from Jimin that Yoongi almost did," you chuckled lightly.
Namjoon nodded. He wasn't laughing.
You rubbed over his chest, sensing him getting angry at thin air. "Be angry all you want when she is confronted and we're all protected. If anything, you should be proud of yourself for keeping your cool and making her think that her running isn't the plan to go with. She'll keep trying to search for the USB and won't stop. The fact that she thinks she's in the clear only adds to her motivation now. That is where we want her."
"I guess it's okay to be proud and take a step back sometimes." Namjoon's voice sounded as if he didn't mean it and you rolled your eyes for what felt like the millionth time.
"Yes, it is. Being in leader mode all the time isn't good for you, so stop it and relax sometimes." You scolded and you could sense he was smiling from the way his fingers suddenly rubbed soothingly at your upper arm.
"I can tell you're smiling." Your scolding continued.
Namjoon scoffed. "How, you ain't a superhero to sense things like that."
You gasped, eyes wide and head propping up in amusement to meet his. Grabbing at you pillow and aiming to squish it over his face lightly. He punched it away before you could, glint in his eyes more alive than ever as he freaked out over you crawling on top of him to capture some dominance for yourself. As you straddled him, he stopped moving, eyes kind before his hands moved to rub over your thighs.
"You can't use my words against me like that, unfair!"
Smirk-game was strong with the leader as he went, "Too late."
You giggled. Taking the leap that screamed at your chest. Feeling hot in parts that he made tingle, your ears and cheeks matched with the radiated heat as you sucked in your breath, apologized for the smell, and dove into his face with puckered lips ready to meet his.
He saw you coming and smiled. Witnessing you take the leap for the one thing he wanted to do since he first saved you. Having your lips smash against his, Namjoon mumbled, an "ow" due to the crashing of your teeth, followed by a laugh as he hummed in contentment and fully wrapped his lips around yours.
Moving his eager fingers up your thighs and over to your hips to grab, he did, pulling your closer on him; all while propping his back up from the bed so he could sit at an angle while making out and up with you. Namjoon's lips were eager, desperate, and hungry for you. He refrained from sticking his tongue down your throat because of his woken state, but if he wasn't and he were freshened up, that tongue would be moving faster than Yoongi's. Mild, yet wild, Namjoon allowed himself to tap the tip of his nose with the side of yours as he searched for understandings of all his feelings against your lips.
You kissed him freely. No interruptions, no worry in the world, you gave him your all and felt that he did as well from the way he newly kept you on him. Captured state hungry, before you could move your hips down to his and start to rock over a tease for a morning surprise, you stopped when he grunted and whipped his head backwards. His eyes squinted as if he made the biggest mistake and you wished, hoped, for him not to reject you explicitly while your heart lay out on the line.
"I like you." You panicked as you blurted it. You said it before he could say a thing. Namjoon's eyes widened at your words. That didn't sit right with you, his expression making your shaken form continue stupidly, "...really really really hard. To the point where it freaks me out."
Namjoon's eyes softened at that. It was like looking in the mirror. From the words that you said, to the way you said them...from how you expressed your emotions to the way your face fully induced the visible stress that you held deeply stored in your heart.
With soft eyes and parted lips that were marked and claimed by yours just a moment ago, Namjoon whispered back. He became just as courageous as you before speaking and letting the truth that ate at him free. Unloaded and casted, he spoke, "I like you too."
The relief on your face at that is what made Namjoon's heart flutter. His morning was made, as well as his day, his years, and his future. Seeing you smile in that way due to his confession was enough to make any grown man cry. You gleamed, squealing before moving to attack his lips with yours again.
He laughed out loud, wanting so badly to kiss you but he couldn't. He stopped you. Holding your hips down from hugging you, your breath shook at such a control. You let him press you down to his lap as he looked hard into your eyes. His soft eyes moved to uneasiness and hesitancy and you felt the pit of doubt grow in your gut.
"I sense a 'but' coming along here," you whispered, feeling devastated before he could even talk.
Namjoon panicked at your fallen face. "D-Don't be upset, I uh," his nose scrunched, "It's just that I'm about to be a father, and the mother of my child is a reporter I previously slept with. I don't want you to be mixed in a situation where you wouldn't be comfortable and I just...I can't be selfish with what I want anymore. I need to think for others now."
You smiled genuinely at that. Light and bright your expression was again. "You don't think I'd want to join you through this?" you asked, soft.
"I don't expect you to," he whispered back, "I myself am having a hard time trying to believe all that's happening to me. Just these months have changed my perspective on life...I've made mistakes...all that have lead me to you, to Jules, and now to my future baby."
You moved your hand off his shoulder and to his neck, rubbing your fingers over to his cheek, your soothed him with you touch the same way he would to you the past weeks when you needed him. It was clear, he needed someone himself. Namjoon moved into your touch and you smiled, listening to him.
"I've spoken to Hoseok, gotten some advice, and I," he squinted at his eyes, "I wanted her to have an abortion."
"That's fair."
"But she won't."
"That's fair as well," you chuckled out, poking his cheek lightly, trying to make light of the situation.
He nodded. "But I can't help but wonder...even past the chaos, past the uproar and issues with the company...past everything, all of what I stand for right now, what if this was meant to happen? What if I was meant to meet Jules, to meet you, and to have Aoroma try to end me just so this child could be raised and born?"
"I guess you won't know."
Namjoon pursed his lips. "It's a lot getting used to and I don't want to drag you with me during this uncertainty because that isn't fair to you."
You nibbled at your bottom lip nodding. "It isn't, I agree."
Namjoon looked saddened at that, but he was glad you agreed with him for a moment there. Everything turned as you continued, "I agree. However, what I don't agree with is you assuming that I wouldn't want this?"
"More stress in your life is not what you need."
"No one needs stress, it's a part of life and happens," you chirped, "another question that we may never get an answer to...stress is inevitable no matter where I head off in life."
"What're you saying?"
You blushed slow, growing hot as you let out your thoughts and feelings. "I want to be on this ride with you. I want to be by your side as you figure fatherhood out, and I want to be able to support you when there is no one else for the leader." He smiled when you poked at his cheek again. "I want to carry on these stresses with you because that's what I want. So, no need to feel guilty over anything. You aren't forcing me into liking you."
"Okay."
"As long as there's trust," you mumbled, moving your hand away from his cheek so you could switch the mood back where you wanted to put it. Nearing his face, wrapping arms around his shoulders, you leaned over to peck his lips before continuing, "...and honesty, I can't see why this can not work."
"Honesty?"
"Hm." You moved to kiss him again but stopped at the look he gave. Namjoon looked sick. You chuckled, "What is it?"
"When I went to talk to Jules...the night you were taken to the hospital. We confided in one another and talked about this baby. Our baby. I freaked out about the entire situation and-"
You smirked. "You kissed her."
Namjoon's face fell. "Y-Yeah, how'd you-"
"I could tell," you shrugged softly, "I assumed it was some sort of intimate moment by the way you awkwardly came back to visit after a long time of ignoring. I could feel your negative vibes even as I was unconscious." You joked near the end and he was in awe of you okay with it.
"You're not mad?"
"Why would I be mad? She shared an intimate moment with you – not to mention hot," you cut off, revisiting the video you had seen for yourself, "- and from that sexy time, out comes a baby that will be calling you 'Daddy' in about a year or two. Oh my, I should stop calling you 'Daddy' it might get weird eventually now." You rambled and he still looked incredibly sick.
Flushing, you finished, "My point here is that I understand. I understand that people can get caught in emotions...what's important is that if we start this – us – there is no way you can be kissing others again? Understood?"
Namjoon's lips tilted upwards. You were just glad that the adorable dimples were back. "I understand."
"I'll be here." You whispered now, soft again, "Every step of the way...I'm here for your baby, Jules and with anything she needs, and well, for you."
You could tell that relaxed the man from the way his shoulders moved down under your wrapped arms. The dimples, the relaxation at his muscles, and the sweet eyes he gave you was enough to make you feel delighted and warm on the insides as well.
Namjoon then teased, amusement prepping his face. "What's the catch?" he joked.
You played along. Puckering your lips as you thought, you moved against him for a hug as you popped, "USB. I wanna know how you destroyed it so I can fantasize about me doing it myself."
Namjoon grinned large.
Confused over him mumble a "one second", your eyes watched as he moved his torso back onto the bed. Shifting between your thighs so he could reach over towards his dressers that rested on either side of the bed, he was organized enough and you noticed as he opened at the drawers. What he pulled out made your mouth drop.
It was the USB, okay and intact. It wasn't destroyed.
"Wha- you told the police that you got rid of it!" you whisper-yelled, seeing as he held it secure in his hand before sitting up to closely face you and your lips.
Namjoon kissed your lips slow and out of no where, moving your hand off his shoulders and in front of his chest. You let him man-handle you as you stared in awe after his lips left yours. "I lied," he whispered at your lips before pecking your mouth once more and pulling away completely.
Your brows jumped as he let it rest onto your palm.
He finished, words strong and meaning everything to you as they were true. "I just thought if it had to be destroyed, the one to do it should be you...I'm sure you've earned to feel that satisfaction. You deserve it after everything you've been through because of it."
You smiled when looking at his eyes.
Then, you looked down at your opened palm where the USB was placed onto. Moving your fingers secure around the object that had travelled and caused such a mess between many bodies and minds, you held it, never wanting to leave you again. You finally had it.
You had Kennah's high school drive...and its contents were ready to be destroyed by your excited form.
-
A/N: Next chapter = smutty, smut, smut. Chapter after that = finale/last chapter. After that, an epilogue with smutty, smut, smut; fluff/cuteness; and hopefully, a good close off. It's been a journey my beauties. <3