❝Yet another lost soul in this starless city.❞
RIA STARES AT her phone with dead eyes, desperately waiting for Jared or Sophia to call or text her back; waiting for some sort of savior to come swooping in and snatch her from this one-sided celebration of her engagement to Chris. Of all the places he could have possibly chosen, he picked the place where she first met Ashton.
Her heart shrivels up like a raisin in the sun when they pull up to Ostentoso. The massive structure is bustling with guests filing in for the gala. Every woman layered in elegant shawls over their long gowns enters with a man clad in fresh suits by their sides.
"Did you take your medication today?" Chris' bothersome voice breaks her from her melancholy.
"I didn't get to this morning. I was busy and forgot." Dull. Lifeless. Void of emotion. "I'll take it tomorrow."
His grunt is her only response as he finds a parking space near the entrance. "This is your favorite gallery, right?" He glimpses at her as he parks her car.
"Yeah," Ria mumbles and twists her engagement ring around her finger. It's heavy despite its light design. It feels wrong. Like the weight of a million bad decisions resting on her hand.
"You don't seem too excited." There's a stale bitterness in the way he says it like he's offended she's not leaping for joy. "I thought you'd at least thank me for bringing you here."
Ria snaps her head to him and glowers. "I didn't need you to bring me here. You wanted to take me here after rushing me into an engagement."
"Rushing?" he snaps right back. "I thought you would be happy for us. We've been together for years and-"
"And so much has happened between then and now, Chris. Sometimes you're just so clueless." She tightens her shawl around her shoulders and steps out into the cool evening. Without waiting for him, she slams her door shut and makes her way to the grand entrance adorned with lanterns with gentle orange glows.
"Baby, wait," he calls after her.
Ria maintains her annoyed stride and keeps her head straight. As she enters the building, she basks in the warmth and light emitting from the vast lobby. Guest are piled in, already deep into their dances and flirting with the art pieces that hang across the walls.
This is one of her favorite places to be, yet her shoulders tense and pain twists in the pit of her stomach, practically shoving her back towards the entrance. Why do I have to do this? I shouldn't have to. I should break up with him. I want to break up with him.
As she eases through guests, cold fingers find her wrist and pull her back. "Ria, don't be like this." Chris' solid frame presses into her back as he tugs her into him. "We're supposed to be celebrating," he whispers in her hair.
"You're stepping on my dress," she grumbles and tugs at the long skirt of her raspberry laced dress. "Get. Off." Chris' body heat leaves her as he steps back. Whirling around, she hits him an annoyed glare. "Can you please give me some space?"
"What the hell is wrong with you?" he demands taken aback. "We're celebrating our union and you're being all pissy all of a sudden. Is it mood swings? Jesus, you really need to get back on your medication."
She grimaces and holds her hands to her chest. "I-I don't know! I'm just really overwhelmed, okay? I feel like we're moving too fast and I don't think I should even be with you anymore and it's-"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa," he hisses and grabs her wrist so tight she winces as pain shoots up her arm. "Don't talk like that." His dark eyes tint by a whole shade and he moves so close, he's towering over her. "I've dedicated too much of myself to you for you to be having second thoughts now."
"You knew I wasn't in the right frame of mind from the beginning." It's the first time she's accused him of this and the declaration almost shocks her. This is the one thing her friends and therapist have been telling her for months.
He's manipulating you. He knows what he's doing. You're not crazy. Listen to yourself...
A huff leaves his chest in frustration. He releases her and shoves his fingers through his neatly combed hair, disheveling it little by little. "I know, but I thought this would eventually work. Come on, you're just upset right now. Let's go dance. Look at some art. I'm doing this for you."
Ria watches as his expression practically begs her to cooperate with him. A gruff sigh deflates from her lungs and she rolls her eyes. "Fine. Let's dance, I guess."
"Thank you." Chris grins and lifts one of her hands to place his lips on. "This night is about you and me. Let's be happy."
With reluctance, she follows as he tugs her to the outskirts of the small crowd of coupled dancers. He places his fingers on her lower back, teasing the smooth fabric of her dress. She places her arms over his shoulders but refuses to look at him, instead focusing her attention on other couples that sway next to them.
"So, do you want a summer wedding or a winter wedding?" he starts casually.
Neither. "I don't know." Her tone is stiff and monotone. The last thing she wants to think about is planning a wedding with him. She doesn't know how she even got here in the first place and if she can keep being here with him.
"Or we could elope. Get this thing out of the way now."
"No," she snaps and gives him a look of absolute astonishment. "Not at all."
"I'm kidding," he chuckles with a flash of his teeth. "I know you probably want to do something super artsy or whatever."
"Can we talk about something else?" she mumbles. Anything that doesn't have to do with her sealing her fate to this man would bring her great relief.
"Like what?"
Maybe we should break up...
This isn't going to work...
It's not you, it's-
She mentally cringes at each excuse. What can she say? Sorry, I still think about Ashton and I can't make myself love you. That answer is not going to work.
Instead of replying, Ria lays her head on his chest and tries to ignore the nausea coursing through her stomach at the mere thought of being his forever.
Chris is her best friend...besides Jared and Sophia. Chris is this odd occurrence in her life where even if she knows she should give up on him, she ends up giving him chances instead, figuring that maybe each time will be different.
It's never different and now she's stepped into a whole new level of commitment with him.
Because he's manipulating you. Wake up!
"I love you," he speaks gently into her hair, "so much. I can't wait to spend the rest of our lives together."
The walls around her heart close in and her lungs tighten. She can't breathe. She can't focus on any rational thoughts.
I can't do this.
I can't do this.
I can't do this!
Her body grows rigid as she tries to gasp for air. Horrific images sear her mind. The universe yanks her away from him as they flicker through her brain with increasing rapidness.
Marrying Chris. Being forced to be with him. Having his kids. Growing old with him. It would be a life full of misery.
"Ria?"
I can't do it.
I can't do it.
"What's wrong?" He holds her face between his hands and lifts it. "Breathe, baby. Please do not have a panic attack right now."
"I can't-" She heaves and pants and her lungs tighten even more. Tears spring to her eyes and she staggers back. "I-I can't do this, Chris."
A deep frown creases his face and he urges through gritted teeth, "Baby, please calm down."
"No!" She jerks from him and grabs at her hair. "What am I doing?" she asks towards the floor. "Why am I doing this?"
"Please keep it down..."
As he says this, guests around them begin to throw her bizarre looks, whispering harshly and aiming confused fingers at her.
She looks around frantically and stumbles back, nearly tripping over her dress. "I-I'm sorry. I just need some air." Her lungs shake as she desperately tries to fill them with something outside of this toxic atmosphere.
Escape. She needs an escape now.
"Ria, baby, chill out." Chris digs his fingers into her forearm.
"Leave me alone." She snatches her arm away and holds it to her chest. "I just need a moment, okay?" She blinks past tears as they begin to blur her image of him. "I-I need a moment."
"I just want to help."
You can help me by going away.
Ria's cracked, rasping voice manages to get out an apology. She rubs her eyes desperately and shoves past him.
What was I thinking? Why did I say yes to him?
As she escapes the crowd and gets further away from Chris, she's gradually able to breathe again. Her lungs expand with each urgent step. Her short heeled flats clack against the tiles and thunders in her ears. She wanders further and further away from the lobby until she's all alone, surrounded by a world that once made her heart soar with the fantasy of endless possibilities.
Be his forever?
I can't do that.
I have to break up with him...but I don't want to hurt him.
"Ugh!" Ria claws at the heavens and storms down another hall of endless paintings and murals. "Is this him manipulating me or can I just not control my emotions?"
If she could control her heart, she'd leave Chris without hesitation. He is not the same man she fell for years ago and he never will be. At one point, Chris was her everything. Now she hates everything about being with him.
Wandering aimlessly for what feels like hours leads Ria stumbling upon her favorite room. Nightingmus.
She sighs and pulls her shawl off as a thin layer of sweat teases the surface of her body. She glides into the dim room and instantly falls in love with the ethereal universe all over again, forgetting about forced engagements and manipulative boyfriends.
Pastel clouds of dust bursts from the walls, springing around her with glitter and a million tiny stars. A smile captures her lips and she raises a hand slightly, reaching out to touch it like always. Of course, it's only an illusion, but she still feels light as air when she reaches for each color.
She does a small twirl, letting the skirt of her dress brush her legs and sends tingles up her spine.
The only time I'm happy is when I'm alone and free.
Her arm slowly falls to her side and she tilts her head as she watches more clouds whirl and drift like galaxies shifting through the darkness.
I feel trapped with Chris.
I have to break up with him once and for all this time. I can't take a week of this. I'm going to hate him if we do this any longer.
Her soul isn't free to dance like it wants to when she's with him. Instead, he's holding it captive beneath ravenous claws.
I don't want to be held captive anymore. She arches her hand up to touch another cloud of a galaxy's dust and sighs.
"Yet another lost soul in this starless city."
Ria yelps and whirls around at the sound of a familiar voice brushing against her ear. Her heart crashes into her ribcage and she holds her hand to her chest, panting as she tries to get a hold of herself. She raises her gaze and comes face to face with...
No...
She blinks and rubs her eyes, somehow hallucinating Ashton standing before her. When she opens her eyes again, the hallucination is still there.
"Kind of feels like it was meant to be." A deep voice - that's startlingly exactly like Ashton's - falls from his perfect lips as they arch into a crooked smile. "How we're here in the same place we first met."
This can't be him. Is it?
"A-Ashton?" she breathes and grabs at her chest as her lungs constrict.
He inches towards her, clad in a dark suit and hands deep in the pockets of his slacks. Ocean eyes bore into hers ruthlessly with strands of eccentric blond hair falling over them. Her imagination has made him absolutely gorgeous.
"I've got to stop hallucinating you."
He chuckles, a deep and seductive sound, low in his chest and reaches for her as she staggers back. "Ria, you're not hallucinating."
Her eyes expand and she stops breathing. Not possible. Not possible. Not possible. He's in California. He left me. He's not here right now. He's not-
The cold wall connects with her back as she runs out of room to escape to. "I-I-I." She shakes her head and splays her hands against the smooth surface behind her. "This isn't real."
"It's very real, princess. I've been thinking about everything that I've wanted to say and do once I saw you again." He towers over her and places one hand next to her head while the other twirls a lock of her hair around his fingers.
She inhales through her nose and drags in his familiar scent, her favorite combination of his eucalyptus wash and the faintest hint of art among the stars.
This can't be real.
"Ashton?" she chokes out as hot tears burn her eyes.
"In the flesh."
"But...but how?" she cries and reaches out to touch the firm line of his jaw. Sure enough, her hand connects with warm skin. Real skin. She grabs his face desperately and brings it closer. "You left me," she sobs. "Why would you l-leave me?"
"I didn't. Ria, I would never leave you. There's been a huge misunderstanding in all of this." He shuts his eyes and presses his lips against the palm of her hand, sending exploding stars raining into her universe.
Suddenly her skin is alive. She is alive, thriving with a sensation that takes her higher than the heavens. Her skin is buzzing. Her heart is pounding. His skin against hers feels like a drug and she wonders if she's just this good at hallucinating him now.
"We have a lot to talk about," he mumbles and leans in until his body is mere inches from hers. "We were set up."
"R-really?" Her voice shakes as hard as her heart thrumming in her chest. "How?"
"I don't want to focus on that right now." Ashton leans down and presses his forehead against hers. "I've been dying to see you for the past five months and now that you're finally here, I'm so overwhelmed. I don't know what to do."
Ria licks her lips and begins panting as the air around them is set ablaze with an immortal flame. His heavy exhales fall over her face and hers rise to his. Just like that, they're breathing the same air. She slides her fingers through his silky hair and shuts her eyes. There's only one thing that her mind can possibly focus on at this moment. The feel of his skin on hers. Tasting him. She hasn't tasted him in so long.
"I want to feel you," she whispers. "Kiss me."
Ashton tilts his head to the side and his lips hover over hers. Ria practically combusts as she anticipates the feeling of him again. She leans in-
"What the fuck?"
The fantasy shatters as Chris' voice breaks the heated silence. Ashton tenses, but Ria isn't ready for him to move. This moment can't be over. She looks up at him through heavy eyelids and begs him to brush his lips against hers just once.
"How the fuck are you here?" Chris' voice nears, rising frantically. "What are you doing to her? Get away from my fianc-"
Ashton whirls around too fast for Ria to even register. She blinks and he's gone, one inch in front of Chris and sending his fist right into his jaw with a sickening smack!
Ria's mouth falls and she gasps as reality finally crashes into her universe.
"S-stop," she yells as Ashton goes for another punch that lands Chris flat on his ass.
"What the fuck? You psycho!" Chris cries and holds his jaw. Blood begins seeping from his mouth and he squirms backward across the floor.
"I always knew you were a snake," Ashton growls and grabs Chris by his collar. He lifts him up slowly and practically snarls as the weaker man fights for freedom. "You set all of this up. You deceived Ria so that she would think that I left her."
"What?" Ria and Chris demand in unison.
Ria shakes her head, trying to grasp Ashton's accusation and glares at Chris. "Is this true?"
"No!" he insists with crazed eyes. "I don't know what this guy is talking about. Where did you even come from?"
"I flew back to New York when everyone collectively told me about you breaking me and Ria up. You changed the letter I wrote for her," Ashton spits and tightens his grip on Chris' collar.
So it was fake...
Ria bites back and grin and holds her arms around herself. The letter hardly sounded like something Ashton would write, but all the evidence pointed to it. Wait...
"Chris couldn't have mimicked your handwriting," Ria says.
"Bull," Ashton scoffs. "This asshole is obsessed with you. I bet he'd go to the ends of the planet to steal you."
"Daniel gave me that fucking letter," Chris growls and claws at Ashton's hands while trying to wriggle from his grip. "He gave it to me a few days- Agh," he chokes and struggles some more. "H-he gave it to me a few days after Ria was in the hospital. I read it and I didn't want to hurt her with all the awful shit you said, so I kept it for a couple months. Then I gave it to her."
"You expect me to believe this?" Ashton yanks him closer. "Why would you keep the letter? No, you were probably studying my handwriting and making a fake one."
"Let me go, man! You're fucking crazy. You don't deserve her anyway! You murder people," Chris yells.
Ashton flinches and slowly lowers him, anger slowly doused in pain.
"You are a disgusting person," Chris continues. "Ria doesn't need to be involved in that kind of lifestyle. She's my fiancée now, which means she picks me."
"Chris," Ria sighs and holds her head as it begins to ache, "please stop."
"Fine." Ashton drops Chris and he crumples to the ground. "You managed to squeeze your way into a relationship and convinced her to marry you. We'll see how long that lasts."
"Fuck you, you crazy bastard," Chris spits and wipes his bleeding mouth. "Like she'd want someone like you. Abusive, murdering criminal." He staggers to his feet and cradles his jaw; a sickly yellow bruise forms against the surface. "I need to go make sure you didn't break my face!" With that, he limps out of the room and disappears down the hall.
Ria intertwines her fingers and stares at the ground. Pastel clouds drift past her and illuminate her dress. Ashton's shoes tease her line of sight, bringing her attention up to him towering over her again.
"That's your fiancé?" He snorts and jerks his thumb to where Chris left.
"I don't know why I said yes. He just has this way of changing my mind about things." She rubs her arms in guilt. "I know I shouldn't have. I was going to break up with him. He just...he..."
Ashton shakes his head. "He's not a good person, Ria."
"And you know what a good person is?" She tosses her hands up in a show of frustration. "You were gone for five months after I was stabbed by your old mob boss or whatever." I lost your baby... Her heart plummets and drowns beneath the tides of a relentless ocean.
I can't tell him...
He'll be so devastated...
She blinks past tears and clenches her jaw. I'm so sorry.
"Ria, I came to that hospital the second my plane landed. Hell, I would have jumped out of the goddamn thing if I could have."
"What? But you-"
"Chris blamed the attack on me and had the hospital kick me out."
A harsh scowl creases her face and she shakes her head, trying to process her time in the hospital. "He said you never showed up. I was asking for you and he said you never came," she insists desperately.
Ashton leans in and slides his warm fingers across her cheeks, caressing her skin and touching her heart. "Ria, I would go through hell for you. I would go to the ends of the universe for you. Only you, Ria. Do you not understand how special you are to me?"
"But you left..." Ria's not even sure she understands what she's saying anymore. The only thing that's certain is that Ashton is here and he's real and she loves him more today than she ever has before.
He never left me.
"I disappeared to protect you and to get Vivian away from Vincent. I bought a loft for you, Ria. For us to live in and start over. I was going to tell you when I got back from California."
"What?" she chokes out and slides her fingers over his wrists. "Y-you can't just go around buying crazy things like that for people. What is your problem?"
"My problem is obviously you," he says through laughter. It's light and endearing and caresses the crevices of her heart. "You make me do crazy things, princess."
A soft giggle slips from her lips and she rolls her eyes in the shyest manner. "Don't blame this on me."
"It's all your fault," he mumbles and presses his lips against her forehead. "You're responsible for everything I do."
Ria giggles again, harder this time and leans into him.
"God, I missed the sound of your voice." His words get caught in her hair and tangle around the threads of her livening spirit. His warmth engulfs her as he removes his hands from her face and wraps his arm around her slender frame.
Ria pushes her body into his and returns the embrace, linking her wrists around his neck and leaning her ear against his chest, listening for his heart like she forgot she loved to do. "I don't know what to do," she whispers, finding his rapid heartbeat and smiling to herself.
"Dance with me." He holds her waist and slowly moves her hips as he begins to sway.
"We can't hear the music in here."
"Who needs music? All I need is the sound of your voice."
Ria smiles so big her face warms and she'd almost forgotten what it feels like to blush. "I forgot how much of a sweet talker you can be." She nuzzles her face against his chest and inhales his essence. "I kind of miss being spoiled."
"First, you're gonna need to break off your engagement; otherwise, my services only last for the night."
"I'm going to try my hardest not to hit you right now."
His chest rumbles with gentle laughter; a soothing thunderstorm in the distance. They continue to move in silence, listening to heartbeats and soft breaths as if their existence is enough music to their ears.
Ria squeezes him everyone once in a while, making sure he's real, afraid he might burst into a cloud of dust and she'll realize that this is a fantasy. Just existing on the same plain as him again has purified her soul from the demons that once haunted her.
This is real.
He's real.
He never left me.
"I can't go back to my old place," he says after a while. "Not with Vincent probably looking for me. I'm staying in the hotel a few blocks down from your apartment...if you want to see me."
"Okay," she whispers and grabs onto his suit jacket. "I'll be there. I'm so happy you're really here this time."
"This time?"
Her face grows hot and she leans her forehead against his chest and groans. "Sometimes I would...think about you like...you were still here."
"Hmm." He tightens his hands around her waist and teases, "So you'd fantasize about me?"
"Don't make it sound like that."
"But you did? Right?"
"I hate you." She twirls the hair at the nape of his neck around her fingers and sighs. But I love you even more.
"You've got to be fucking kidding me." Chris' suddenly annoying voice returns. "I leave for five minutes to take care of an injury this asshole gave me and you two are dancing?" he demands hysterically.
"Do you want me to punch him again?" Ashton mutters.
"No." Ria slips from his hold and is instantly freezing. "I am engaged to him."
Ashton strokes the curve of her jaw. The look in his eyes grows desperate with a flicker of pain. "Please don't tell me you're going back to him," he whispers.
"We just got engaged...I can't just leave him like this."
"But you will leave him, right?"
Ria leans up on the tip of her toes and places her lips against his cheek. "Just go to your hotel, okay?"
He lowers his brows doubtfully. "Will you come?"
"Just go," she urges softly. "I will handle this."
Ashton stares at her for a few more moments of long and desperate silence before he nods and slowly backs away. "Okay. I'll be waiting for you. I'll always be waiting for you."
Ria hangs on to those words with all of her heart as she watches him slip away. He stops when he stands next to Chris and glowers at him. Chris flinches and staggers back, hands immediately going up in defense.
Biting her lip, she holds in a laugh and stares as the love of her life disappears from her eyes. This time, she knows she'll see him again.
Crap guys!! My heart and this chapter!!! I have been dying to write this part since I started this whole series ಥ_ಥ my life is complete!
Thank you guys for keeping the faith and sticking with this ship! Its time to rebuild!!!
How are we feeling?????
Ashton is back!!!
Chris gotta little taste of payback!
Ria's finally getting in the right head space!
Ashton is baaaaaaack!!
The trouble is far from over, but the next chapter is gonna be nothing but AshRia and just a heads up young ones, you might wanna cover your eyes 🔥
Song for this chapter to me is beautiful and I always feel like is the theme of Ashton and Ria since like forever. There are multiple versions (one with a female too) but the one included is pretty nice so LISTEN UP and cry your eyes put!
ASHRIA IS BAAAAAACK!!!
-bri💕✨
playlist
lost stars | adam levine