Sometimes, if I closed my eyes, I could still feel Zara's soft lips and bergamot breath floating atop mine. That sometimes quickly became every time, and all I could do was fantasise about her. I felt her lips as I looked over work spreadsheets, tasted her breath as I stamped cheques and invoices, and traced the curve of her hip as Richard droned on in board meetings. I felt like I was intoxicated with her and there was absolutely nothing I could do to curb the addiction.
Our date had left me wanting more but again we never seemed to have time for each other. We had seen each other a few times in the two weeks since our date, which I suppose was quite reasonable and I was just being a clingy "Lover Boy" as she'd call me. She came over for us to make choke cherry jam for one of the homeless shelters a couple days after the date, and a few days later we had an indoor movie night. And of course we texted all day and talked every night, after she had dinner with her parents or we were done visiting our respective friends.
I missed her. It'd been three days since I'd last seen her in person, and I could not believe how much I missed her. What was wrong with me? I was turning into one of those hapless, lovesick idiots that I'd always made fun of. Turning into...Art. Ugh. I could not turn into Artur.
I looked around my Condo to make sure everything was in place and tidy. Zara was coming over and we were going to do God knew what. It would probably end up being a combination of playing board games, watching a movie, and baking; Zara's favorite evening combination.
I was in a deep reverie over the shape of Zara's collarbones when I heard the buzzer go off; she was here.
I opened the door for her and leaned down to peck her lips before letting her in. God I missed that, definitely better than cereal, I thought.
"Wooooow, look at this, not even a speck of dust on anything," She chirped in her usual teasing way. She placed her hands on my shoulders and pulled closer to me, wrapping her arms around my neck as she smiled at me. "I love a man that knows how to dust."
I laughed, and pecked her nose. "And I, a woman who appreciates the seductive art of dusting." Images of Katja's mess of an apartment flashed across my mind and I cringed internally at the memory. Yes, a woman who appreciated dusting was definitely sexy.
"mmghd," she mumbled against my lips before gently pressing hers fully against them. I could taste the floral chapstick she wore, it conflicted with the citrus scent that emanated from her and I didn't like it.
"I like the bergamot chapstick," I said, pulling away from her lips to kiss along her jaw line. "Floral is...not you enough."
"Really now?" She whispered, clearly amused by my ridiculous declaration.
"Really." And I was kissing her lips again, pressing her into me until we eventually fell down on to the sofa and she was laying on top of me, my mouth still connected to hers. "There's a million things I could be doing to you if you were wearing the bergamot chapstick."
She chuckled against my lips, tangling her hands in my hair and deepening the kiss, only pulling away long enough to speak. "Maybe if you're a good horny boy and make me some cookies I'll put it back on."
"Aren't you a Temptress."
She laughed, pulling away and untangling from me to sit up and look at me, smiling like the little monster she was. "I'm a woman with needs; you'll have to learn to satisfy them both."
I groaned and got up and made my way to the kitchen, Zara laughing softly as she trailed behind me.
I brought out the mixing bowls and Zara started sifting the flour.
"So, how was lunch with Danka?" I asked, creaming together the butter and sugar mixture.
Zara's eyes lit up, and I was certain her deep brown eyes could not get any brighter. "It was great!" She said. "She's freaking out because she has to tell her parents she got kicked out of the Honor's program, but she's still graduating after this year. After we got past her panic attack she told me about this new guy she met on Tinder."
"Tinder? Aren't dating sites supposed to be for old people who can't find love?" I queried, bemused to as to why a 22 year old girl would need such a thing.
Zara scoffed. "Ha! Who said there was any dating involved? Danka's relationships are purely physical."
"Oh, so like my friend Avery. Should we get them together and see if they can tame each other?" while I said it as a joke, I was also curious to see if someone like Danka would be the solution to Avery's excessive casual sex.
"I wouldn't recommend it," Zara said, shaking her head. She took the bowl from me and started stirring the dough. "Danka's a bit of a man eater; your friend will never be the same after her."
I laughed. "Ha! I think Avery will be doing most of the eating if you get my drift." That earned me a smack on the shoulder.
"So, Lover Boy, any movie in mind for tonight?" Zara asked. She'd finished putting the dough on the cookie sheet and placed it in the oven, setting the timer and smacking her hands together in satisfaction.
"Hmm," I tapped my chin. "Shall we do horrible Netflix movie and make fun of it?"
She looked at me as if I was crazy. "I wouldn't have it any other way."
I leaned forward and kissed her, lifting her up and sitting on her on the counter. "Or we could skip the movie entirely. Have just deserts."
"mmhmm," she mumbled against my lips. "I don't know, I think I've had too much sugar already. Maybe I'm not looking for something sweet." It was hard to take her teasing words seriously when her hands had left my hair and were now were now trailing the planes of my back.
"Oh really? Well... I can feed you something salty then." I said in my most sultry voice.
Zara barked out in laughter, pushing me away softly and clutching her stomach as she laughed all the way to the bathroom.
"I meant salted peanuts!" I hollered.
Well, I guess that was the end of that.
My phone vibrated in my pocket and I saw that it was a call from Art.
"Dipshit." I answered.
"Fuckboy, wanna get some beers?" Art said from the other end of the line.
"I would, but Zara's ass is much nicer than yours, so I'll pass."
"Oh really now? I've been doing a lot of squats; I really think you ought to take another look." His voice was laced with fake hurt.
"Nah, fucking you in the ass is Reah's job."
He scoffed. "pfftt. Zara's hand is so far up your ass I can see it hanging from your mouth. That would explain all the shit that's coming out of it."
"At least I'll be enjoying the company of a woman tonight, have fun cuddling with Avery and Jansen." I shot back.
"I will, we aren't afraid to express our love for each other." I could hear the smile in his voice, the bastard was always smiling.
I heard the door of the bathroom creek open and knew Zara would be back any second.
"Well have fun at your sausage party." I drawled.
"Have fun robbing the cradle you old pervert." Not again with the old jokes. I groaned.
"Later Dipshit."
"Later Fuckboy." The line went dead.
I looked up from phone to see Zara looking at me with one of her perfectly groomed brows raised.
"Why do you guys always talk to each other like that?" She chided.
I smirked. "Our relationship is not for the faint of heart."
The timer went off and Zara hurried to grab the cookies from the oven. I leaned against the kitchen island and watched as she bent down, her ass taking a perfect form in her white jean shorts.
There was a new level to my perverseness that had not previously been there before. I hadn't had sex in a very long time and Zara was exquisitely beautiful. Everything about her aroused me, the way she carefully placed each cookie on the cooling rack, the unbridled excitement in her eyes as she took one cookie and started devouring it without a care as to how hot it was, and the chocolate smear at the corner of her lips from cookie.
Carefully, I strolled towards her, turning her around so that her back was against the island. She looked up at me in surprise, but the excitement quickly came back as I leaned forward, one hand on the edge of the island and the other around her waist. I dipped my head down and licked the chocolate from the corner of her mouth.
"You taste delicious," I said. "I think I'm still in the mood for sweet over salty."
"Yeah?"
I pressed my lips against hers, relishing in the softness of her lips. They tasted like bergamot, and I immediately realized that Zara had gone into the bathroom and put on the chapstick that I liked. That realization was all it took for me to lose any semblance of control. I bit her bottom lip gently, taking it into mine before kissing her again, harder, deeper, hungrier. I felt the low moan at the back of my throat as Zara's hands tangled in my mass of curly black hair.
"Yeah."
I traced the indent of her waist, the curve of her hips, all the while my lips never leaving hers. Zara's hands had moved from my hair to sliding under my button-up; the contact was thrilling. I roamed my hands all over her, memorizing the feel of her beneath my palms. She pressed further into me, sliding her tongue into my mouth with the fine precision of a sculptor. I felt intoxicated.
With both of my hands at her waist, I pulled her along with me as I kissed her. We stumbled over each other and landed against the hallway wall. I cupped her breast above her shirt, squeezing gently as the feeling drove me to ecstasy. A moan escaped her lips, so sexy, I thought for a moment it couldn't possibly be real.
Her nimble fingers began undoing the buttons of my shirt and she roughly pulled it off my shoulders. She broke away from the kiss to admire my body.
"We wasted so much time, I could have looking at this so much sooner," she said as she ran her hands down my chest. "Very nice, Lover boy, very nice."
I chuckled; only Zara would stop to make such a comment in such a heated moment.
Smiling, I leaned my forehead against hers and kissed her nose. "It's called exercise Temptress, but if you like it so much I'll keep doing it."
"Please do," she mumbled as she captured my lips with hers again. My fingers toyed at the hem of her shirt, before lifting them up above her head and discarding them on the floor. I liked the way her deep red bra contrasted against her skin. She shimmied out of her shorts, throwing them somewhere behind me as I hastily pulled off my pants, grateful that I wore the more flattering boxers today.
Zara looked like a goddess before me, dressed in nothing but her sheer, red, lace bra and matching panties. "You are incredibly sexy in red," I heard myself say as I took a step closer to her.
Her smile was both playful and mesmerizing. "I'm incredibly sexy in everything."
I chuckled as I kissed the hollow of her neck, trailing kisses down to her collarbone. "Well, Aren't you a very confident woman? It's really turning me on."
She gasped, bringing her head back against the wall as my lips moved from her collarbone to the top of her breasts. I unclasped her bra and it fell to the ground.
"Well," she said, her breathing uneven and her words coming out in spurts. "I'm a temptress remember?"
Her breathing grew sharper as my mouth captured the peak of her breast, my hand cupping and massaging the other one. "God, David, you're driving me crazy."
She reached forward and pulled down my boxers. I could not stop the loud moan that escaped my lips as she began stroking me. I tangled my hand into the back of her head, resuming to kissing her as my other hand pulled off her panties and spread her legs apart. Her moans became louder against my lips as I slipped my fingers into her, first one, then two.
"I want you." I growled. I didn't just want her, I needed her; I was so delirious I couldn't see straight.
"I want you too! Fuck! I want you so bad!" She pulled away from me, long enough to grab my hand and lead me to the sofa. She reached into her purse on the coffee table and pulled out a condom, I quirked an eyebrow at her. "A girl is always prepared." She shrugged, her breasts bouncing lightly by the action.
Not only was she indescribably sexy and beautiful and alluring in every sense of the word, she came prepared. Prepared! "Zara, you do not want to know the things I want to do to you right kow."
She lay on the sofa, and then pulled me on top of her. "I do want to know, and then I want you to do them to me."
I was about to reply with something cheeky when the loud blast of my phone engulfed the room. I looked over to see that it was a call from Ana.
"Just ignore it," I said, too distracted by the way her lips felt against her earlobe. "She'll leave a message."
But the phone rang again, and finally on the third time I groaned and pulled away from Zara to answer it. "Ana I'm busy!" I snapped.
"Okay," she choked, followed by a sob. Alarm bells started going off in my head.
"Ana? Are you crying? What's wrong?" I asked more calmly. Zara sat up on the sofa, cross-legged.
"I'm just... I'm sorry for interrupting. I'll just... I'll just..." She sobbed. And they were big sobs, I was panicked. I shot up, no longer able to sit down as worry cursed through me.
"Ana, please, what is wrong?"
"I'm, I'm a bird David." She sobbed, but her words were also slurred. "I'm a bird that's had a lot of vodka, and rum, and John's 50 year old scotch. I'm going to fucking flyyyyyyyyyyyy."
I pinched the bridge of my nose. Zara touched my arm, looking at me with concern. "Where are you Ana?"
"Some dive bar in Transcona, The Spike or something like that –Ohhh someone spilled their drink on meeeeeeee oh my gooood why won't it stoop?!" she sobbed.
I grabbed my pants and started redressing with one hand, Zara seemed to pick up that something was really wrong and started redressing as well.
"Ana, why are you there? Are you with anyone? Is John there?" I queried. At the mention of John's name she started bawling, her sobs to morose it felt like I was getting punched in the gut.
What the actual fuck was going on?!
She didn't answer, she just kept crying.
"Ana?" I put on my socks and Zara started helping button my shirt.
"J-John is not with me. I-I'm all alone. I'm all alone David. John doesn't love me, no one loves me!"
"That's not true Ana! I love you, and the twins love you, mom and dad love you!" Zara and I were now fully dressed. She grabbed her purse and we ran towards the front door.
"No, you don't understand David. I'm not worth loving, I just, just want to disappear David, I want to disappear. I don't want to exist anymore. There's nothing to me." She cried.
Our shoes on, Zara and I were out the door. The elevator opened upon our arrival and we sprinted inside.
"No Ana, don't disappear. There's so much to you. You're such an amazing person Ana, and I know this because you're my big sister and I would have turned out so much worse without you." I say, trying my best to keep my voice calm when all I want to do is scream. Keep her talking, I told myself, just keep her talking.
Zara opened the door to my SUV and I handed her the keys. "I know where the spike is, we'll be there in twenty, fifteen if the force is with us." She offers with a small, sad smile. I tried smiling back, I really tried, but I just couldn't, not with Ana still crying on the other end of the line and me having no idea what was going on.
After a few minutes Ana's breathing calmed, and her sobbing died down. I became hopeful that she was starting to calm down but all my hopes were ripped away.
"I'm finally going to do it David." She said calmly, her voice is so void of emotion it sent chills down my spine.
"Do what Ana?"
"End this. I've wanted to for so long. I'm not going to live like this anymore; I'm not going to live at all. Please take care of the twins David." She croaked.
I slammed my fist on the dashboard. "Fuck! Ana no! No, please don't say that. Don't talk like that. It's going to be okay, I'm going to come get you. We'll going to get you your favorite ice-cream and fried chicken from that disgusting Chicken and Laundromat place you love so much."
"I have to go David," she said quietly.
"No! no no no no no no! Ana, please, stay with me!" I pleaded. "Please Ana, I'll be there soon."
"I'm sorry David. Tell Mom and Dad that I love them. Tell the twins I'm sorry, this isn't their fault. I love them so much. I'm sorry David, I just can't live like this anymore. I can't live anymore." She sobbed.
"No! Ana! Ana?"
The line went dead.
A/N I know it's been a while since I've updated, I apologize! School, work, life, gets in a way. But I haven't given up on this story and starting now there will be more regular updates!
Also, finding a song for this chapter was incredibly difficult because it had to be able to be interpreted in many different ways due to two very different situations in this chapter.
I hope you enjoyed the chapter! Remember to vote and comment!