01. TEXTS
LOLA
my timeline is full of shit, so I'm assuming that you and Christopher have a nice time last night?
MINNIE
oh yes, I transported to the other side of the country for a little date, and quite spectacularly managed to be in two places at once
MINNIE
I managed to both enjoy a romantic meal with Chris in downtown L.A and !! had a cosy little family night with dad and the boys all at once in New York !! Amazing what the average human being can accomplish in this day and age !!
LOLA
that's fucking magical, man
LOLA
you should add that skill to your resume, honestly
MINNIE
can you believe that there are rumours that Chris is going to propose to me soon ??
MINNIE
I mean, I'm thrilled at the very thought of it, although it is a little unexpected, if I'm being real here
LOLA
I agree entirely
LOLA
it would be a shock for all of us who know you, but I'm never gonna pass up an opportunity for wedding cake and booze
MINNIE
I agree, like can you just imagine it !! me, marrying my apparent boyfriend of six months who I've never once spoken to :))
MINNIE
romance lives on
MINNIE
true love IS real
LOLA
you know though I think it's pretty traditional to at least meet your fiancé once if you want the love to really peak
MINNIE
it's the 21st century, baby, fuck tradition
MINNIE
me and Chris are meant to be, the press says we're adorable
LOLA
I want to know what the press are basing that off of
MINNIE
the clear abundance of evidence that we spend a shit ton of time together and are madly deeply in love
MINNIE
I mean, there's gotta be absolutely loads of pictures from all the time we've spent together
MINNIE
barely a day goes by when I don't see him despite the fact that we both live in different states and have packed schedules
LOLA
let's not forget the small detail regarding the fact that you've never spoken to one another once
MINNIE
I mean, but it's only a minor detail
MINNIE
it's so easy to forget that tiny little fact, especially if you're a media outlet publishing stories about our long and fruitful love affair
LOLA
but you're still not bothered about the rumours, of course
MINNIE
of course
MINNIE
you know me, I'm rarely bitter and never ever fixate on the idiocy of the press
LOLA
you? not at all
MINNIE
exactly !!
MINNIE
honestly I'm lowkey flattered that they think I'm on the same level as Chris Evans and would ever stand a chance with him
LOLA
I mean, honestly, if I was even the slightest bit straight I'd wanna climb him like a tree
MINNIE
sigh we all would
MINNIE
he's captain america and it isn't even CGI
MINNIE
like I work out five days a week and still look like a noodle
MINNIE
he probably does bicep curls in his fucking sleep, lo
LOLA
not again
LOLA
deep breaths pls
MINNIE
damn it
MINNIE
let's pretend I live the life that the press thinks I do, it's much more fun than what I legit get up to
LOLA
I love reading rumours about you honestly because I learn so many new things that even yOU don't know about yourself
MINNIE
it's truly wonderful, I know, I know
LOLA
dude but surely you're legit gonna get to speak to him sooner or later, you've gotta bump into each other at some sort of event during awards season or something??
MINNIE
idk, I'm sure we will meet sooner or later
LOLA
you better
MINNIE
I guess we'll just have to wait and see!
LOLA
why do I feel like you're plotting something
MINNIE
I just have a face that always looks mildly suspicious
LOLA
lmao true
AUTHOR'S NOTE: starting as I mean to go on; messily