*Nash's POV*
What the hell did he just do?
Kiss me?
Did Cameron really just kiss me?
"Shawn will probably be waking up soon so I should go." Cam says, standing up from where he was still laying. As he walks past me, I grab his hand and pull myself up.
"Why?" I ask, standing in front of him. "You just got here." I walk into the mini kitchen and look for a snack, but my mind is too messed up for me to actually look. I close the top cabinet and turn the refrigerator. As I do, I see Cameron standing in the doorway. We connect eyes briefly before I look away.
"Do you want anything?" I ask, shielding my face with the refrigerator door. Cam doesn't say anything so I peek up at him.
"Um, n-no. I-I'm f-fine. Th-thanks." He stutters. Damn it, an hour ago he was confident Cam, now he's stuttering again. I try to not mention anything about what just happened only a few minutes ago. It still scares me what he did, but I don't usually deal with my problems. I put them off for as long as I can, so why even talk about it?
"Not even something to drink?" I ask, grabbing a water bottle for myself. Cameron shakes his head no and walks back to the two beds. I sigh, taking a bottle for him and set it down on Hayes's night stand.
"I heard how brave you were to that girl in the lobby." I say, taking a swig of water. "Must've taken a lot of courage to say something like that in front of everybody." I smile, but his gaze is on the floor.
"It was all anger, not courage." Cam says, keeping his eyes on the ground.
"Why anger?" I ask.
*Cameron's POV*
I mumble the truth under my breath, unsure if I wanted him to hear.
"What'd you say?" Nash asks. I keep my eyes on the ground and think about what to do. If I do tell him, then I may just about rape him because that's the last piece of the 'I like you' puzzle until he realizes it. However, if I don't tell him, Nash could just think that I kissed him accidentally and we could get no where further than the friend zone.
I think I have to tell him anyway because I can't explain how that kiss was accidental.
"There's no shame Cam." Nash says and I laugh inside my head. If only he knew how much shame is buried deep inside of me.
"Do you really want to know?" I ask, flicking my gaze up to him. He half nods, but answer with words as well.
"I want to know why you keep changing from outgoing and extroverted to a shy, quiet boy who's afraid of me."
"I'm not afraid of you." I say a little too quickly. I clear my throat. "I'm not afraid of you," I repeat. "I li-"
"Hayes forgot his key! Open up!" Matthew yells from the hallway, stoping me from exposing my feelings. I stand up and open the door for Carter, Matt, and Hayes, walking out of it after they scurry inside.
"Hey, stop running from me will ya'?" Nash says, putting a hand on my shoulder and surprising me. I shove my hands into my pockets as I turn to face him. I don't say anything and neither does Nash, but he must've picked up on my uncertain-ness.
"Let's go somewhere else." Nash says, guiding me away from the exposing hallway. Before I know it, Nash and I are standing on the rooftop.
"So, um," Nash says a little weary. I put my arms on the railing and lean forward against them.
"I was angry because they were talking shit about you." I say, jumping back in our previous conversation, and lying.
"So? People talk shit about me all the time. Why would you get so upset now?" He asks.
"I don't know." I mumble.
"It wasn't about me, was it Cameron?" Nash asks. Damn he knows me well. I shake my head no. "Why can't you just tell me?" I don't answer him as I change positions and sit against the wall below the railing. Nash comes down with me, siting cross-legged next to me.
"How about this." He suggests. "I'll tell you something, and you tell me something just as equally shameful." I gulp, nervous because I don't know how much shame he can have but I know mine is worse.
"Okay so no one knows this except Hayes, and I don't want you say anything about." Nash looks at me.
"I won't. This is a trust game isn't it?" I say.
"Um, well a few days ago, while everyone thought Madison was gone," Nash says, picking at his fingernails. "She was actually in my room, and we may or may not have had sex." He whispers the last statement, but I don't look at him. It angers me that they are becoming so damn close, but there is nothing I can do about it.
"So yeah. That was me." Nash says, obviously trying to take the spotlight off of him.
"I'm gay." I say a bit nonchalantly.
"I already know that about you." Nash says.
"I know, I've just never said it out loud." I confess and look off into the distance of the roof.
"But I've been gay since high school." I start to slowly tell him my story. "For three years I had to pretend to be normal because no one knew until I finally told my mom. I never even told Chris." I look at Nash while remembering my first best friend who left on a navy voyage trip last year. I look back to the roof when Nash doesn't say anything.
"I told her during senior year." I say, referring to my mother. "It was kind if an accident really. I was watching a movie with Sierra and my mom when one really good looking guy came on the screen and since no one knew I was gay, I wrote down all my gay thoughts in my notes on my phone. Well, you can guess what happened next. I set my phone down, forgetting to lock it and my mom picked it up." I pull my knees up to my face.
"She saw all of my thoughts Nash." I look over at him, his countenance has dropped sadly since I started. "There was really no way to explain them, so when she came into my room that night I just totally broke down and told her everything." I pause, tying my shoe lace even though I'm sitting down.
"Luckily, my mom became cool with it and she helps me when I have 'boy problems'." I say, quoting the girly phrase.
"How often do you get 'boy problems'?" Nash asks, breaking the solid sound of just my voice.
"Not often. I mean I've thought guys were cute and hot before but recently I've started to develop a crush." I can feel how hot my cheeks are burning right now. That was probably the scariest move I've made so far.
"If you need help, I may not be a girl but I can teach you how to flirt." Nash says and I breathe out a small sigh of relief. I was so hoping he didn't ask who it was.
"Thanks." I smile an oblique smile and take this opportunity to get as many flirting tips from Nash, and then use them on him. Okay that sounded really stalker-ish and creepy but it's the truth.
"Of course." Nash says smiling. "You know I would always be there for you. You are my best friend." My face dropped and my frown flew away, off my face.
"That's the problem." I mumble under my breath.
"You don't want to be my friend?" Nash says, hearing what I said.
"Just drop it." I say.
"No, what did I do?" He asks sounding a bit hurt.
"I said drop it."
"Am I such a horrible person all of sudden?" Nash was really starting to get on my nerves now.
"For the third time, drop it!" I abruptly bolt up, only to have Nash follow.
"No! For the second time, what did I do?!" He shouts back at me, the hurt tone being buried by an angry one. "I'm sorry that it's my fault your always so angry!" I could see the lie he believes showing through that statement.
"This isn't your fault!" I yell at him, too angry to calm down. "This is all my fault!"
"How is it your fault?! You haven't done anything!"
"It's my fault for falling for you!"
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Authors note
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heyyyy. so srry it's kinda short but it's my second update today and I just want to thank you guys for 16k! you really are ALL amazing and awesome.
but if u could vote a bit more thtd be cool. thx
anyway keep reading and I hope your enjoying! comment what you want to happen and I may just add your idea into the story
so thank you and
byeeeee
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