Swish and Flick

By eatsoulsforbreakfast

43K 2.2K 4.1K

Highest Ranking #3 in satire #34 in hp #153 in harrypotter 5H in Hogwarts, but a lot gayer. (Check out the s... More

Prologue
Chapter 1: The Girl Who Lived
Chapter 2: The Fantabulous Sorting Hat
Chapter 3: Ollivanders
Chapter 4: The Humping Willow
Chapter 5: Queerditch
Chapter 6: Swish and Flick... And Flick Some More
Chapter 7: The Order of the...Phoenix?
Chapter 8: Nine and Three Quarters

Synopsis

7.3K 242 113
By eatsoulsforbreakfast

Decades after the fall of Salazar Slytherin, a xenophobe who believed in the superiority of purebloods, segregation of Mudbloods, and the brutal conversion rituals of witches and wizards manifesting homosexual behavior, Hogwarts is now under the rule of a new Headmaster, Albus Dumbledore, an out and proud gay man whose main purpose is to build a new generation of open-minded witches and wizards who will help him spread awareness, teach tolerance, eradicate fear and suppression among minority groups, and instill pride in the hearts of his beloved community.

As his first decree, Dumbledore revamps his school and promises not to ban anyone who wishes to enroll. He might also have changed the school colors into something more colorful.

His second decree is to assemble the most promising youngsters in the entire nation, teach them how to properly use glittered wands, effectively mix rainbow-colored potions, and chant spells that could make their lives easier (from easy spells that could give your hair an extra wave and shimmer, or a more complicated hex that will jam a buttplug inside an unsuspecting homophobe's asshole), among other important lessons, of course.

This school year, Dumbledore believes that he has found the best set of students Hogwarts has ever seen, maybe even greater than Potter and his friends who have exposed the closeted sexual predator, Lord Voldemort, during their fourth year in Hogwarts. He has his eyes set especially on five specific first year girls.

But along with the promise of a bright future for this new era, comes the looming threat of Slytherin's descendant whose sole reason for living is to oversee the total annihilation of the new Hogwarts.

* * *

‼️ A/N:
(For Potterheads)

Since Hogwarts is more popular than Ilvermorny, I'll be using Hogwarts canon, even if my characters are in America.

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