"Tara, this is my girlfriend, Beverly."
Okay.
I know I shouldn't be upset. I knew it was likely that Lexi would move on. She has the right to do that, and I truly want her to be happy, even if that's not with me.
But... I'm having a hard time seeing Lexi happy with a girl who screams at people for daring to exist in the path that she is walking. Lexi is a nonconformist. Beverly is dressed perfectly in style. Lexi is kind and caring. Beverly snapped "what's your defect?" at a confused disabled girl. Lexi is an artist. Beverly should be, like, a prosecutor or something.
No. I'm jumping to conclusions about people I barely know, and that's unfair. Beverly could be a nice person who just was having a bad day. A really, really, REALLY bad day.
So I swallow any less-than-polite remarks and say "It's... nice to meet you, Beverly."
"Thank you." Beverly gives me a cloyingly sweet smile. "Tara, was it?"
I look down and away. "Yeah."
"I heard about how you left Lexi without a word." Beverly observes her manicured nails as she talks.
My tongue catches in my mouth. "I..."
"Don't worry," Beverly says with a smile practically dripping sweetness. "I was there to pick up the pieces."
[Illustration of Tara, Beverly, and Lexi. Tara looks awkwardly off to the side, Beverly smiles triumphantly, and Lexi purses her lips and seems unsure how to handle the situation.]
I freeze. Half of my brain is screaming, whirling, wanting to shout, or to somehow make her see what happened, to show that I was struggling, that I'm not a bad person!
But the more sensible half of me wins.
I take a deep breath and say "You're right."
Beverly freezes. "What?"
"I left without a word," I admit. "And I shouldn't have. Lexi, I knew that would probably mean I'd lost you for good. I was heartbroken over my mom's death. I just couldn't cope. At minimum, I could have left a note explaining. But I didn't. Lexi, I can't imagine how that must have felt for you. I'm really sorry. If you're upset with me, I understand."
I close my eyes, and wait.
"I was really upset, for a while," Lexi says. "I talked to your friend Will at one point. She told me that you didn't mean to abandon me, that you were really struggling. And I get that. I'm not mad at you anymore. I forgive you."
Beverly frowns.
Lexi takes a deep breath. "And I'm sorry for blindsiding you with my new relationship. Can you accept that I've moved on?"
I knew this could happen, and honestly... I can handle it. I breathe in. "Yes."
"And, uh... if you wanted to be friends, maybe we could," Lexi says.
Beverly crosses her arms.
"We'll see," I say. I need a bit of time to process. "See you around?"
"See you around," Lexi says.
I walk away. I... guess that went about as well as it could. Maybe I could be friends with Lexi. But not right away. I need to sort myself out first.
And I think I handled that about as well as I could. It was hard to put aside my ego and admit how badly I messed up... but I think it really helped.
I check the time. Better head to class.
I walk to my locker, grab my materials, and walk to my calculus classroom.
I enter the classroom, where people are sitting down and getting settled. I sit up front. I'm sharing a 2-person table with a dark-skinned, fidgety Muslim girl who is carefully lining up objects on her desk to be ready for class.
And it's still hitting me that Lexi moved on.
I mean, it makes sense. I knew that, at minimum, we'd have a lot of work to do. I knew we wouldn't instantly return to what we had. I guess part of me really hoped it could still work...
Lexi and I... We were...
The summer after sophomore year
I called Lexi, in tears. I'd been rejected by a prestigious summer science program, and my hopes for travel and excitement and learning had been crumpled up and tossed into the trash.
Lexi dropped everything for me. She took me to the farmer's market, where we filled a picnic basket with fresh rolls, fruits, and vegetables. She was planning something, but wouldn't say what.
We climbed a hill, and as we neared the top, she told me to close my eyes. It is REALLY hard to climb a hill with your eyes closed, but somehow, despite a few minor falls, I managed.
She told me to stop walking, and the ground had flattened, so I assumed we'd reached the top.
"Can I look yet?" I asked.
"Yeah, open your eyes!" Lexi said.
I opened my eyes, and saw Port Winston spread out below us. I saw the bay, the skyscrapers, the suburbs.
"Lexi, this is... wow!" I gaped. "Thank you for showing me this. The scenery is breathtaking!"
Lexi smiled. "Maybe, now, you'll know how I feel whenever I see you."
"Thank you," I said. "Lexi, you're so..." And I burst into tears.
Lexi stayed calm, almost like she had a feeling this would happen. She stepped up and wrapped her arms around me. "I'm here. Cry as much as you need."
"I'm just so overwhelmed!" I said. "That program was my dream!"
"Maybe they'll take you next year," Lexi replied. "Don't give up."
"I'm heartbroken about the program," I said. "But then, you... You're so... Wow, Lexi..."
I closed my eyes, feeling her warmth, enveloped by the sweet scent of her cherry blossom perfume. It was comforting, and familiar. Her arms felt soft and gentle.
"Lexi?" I said.
"Yeah?"
"I love you."
"I love you too," she said.
"Let's always stay together, okay?" I said.
"Okay."
Today, calculus class
I realize, now, that those times are gone. Lexi used to be my everything. My sunshine, my hope. Her smile lit up my day. I knew I had probably lost her. But... Reality is still unpleasant.
I guess there are some things I can never get back.
"Okay, class! Pay attention. I expect you all to remember everything from precalc! We will not be wasting time on review."
Lexi... I'm sorry...
The hijabi girl next to me gives me a nudge. "Psst! Hey, are you paying attention?"
"Huh?" I say. "What?"
"We're doing the chain rule!" she says. "You'd better take notes!"
Whoops. "Thanks," I whisper, and I quickly begin copying down the problem on the board. I need to focus. Relationships are not going to ruin my day.
School ends, and I walk out of the hallway, into the field.
I shouldn't pine over Lexi. I don't want to spend the day lost in memories. Maybe... I need to focus on something else.
I see a small dark-haired girl with headphones rocking from side to side. I'm pretty sure that's Aurora. I guess she's enjoying her music.
Guilt grips my chest for a moment as I remember the deal that Aurora's dad offered me. Spend time with her, get money. Money that could save my family's house. But... it's not like talking to her once would be so bad? She seems really nice, too. There's nothing wrong with getting to know Aurora a little better.
I reach out and tap her shoulder.
She shrieks and whirls around, wide-eyed.
"I'm sorry!" I say. "Did I startle you?"
She takes a shaky breath in, hand clutching the pendant of a necklace she's wearing. I make a mental note that next time I touch her, I'll make sure she can see it coming.
"Hi?" she says. "Um...?"
I blink. "Something wrong?"
She curls her hand up near her mouth. "Who are you...?"
Well, that wasn't the response I was expecting.
C'mon, Tara. When in doubt, assume the best of people. Maybe she's confused.
"I'm Tara, the girl who saved you from the car yesterday," I say.
A smile breaks over her face. "Oh, Tara! I'm so happy to see you!"
"I was thinking we could walk home together," I say. "Since we're neighbors, we could get to know each other." Okay, "neighbors" might be a stretch, but still.
"That would be nice," Aurora says.
I hoist my backpack up higher on my back, and the two of us walk towards her house together.
"So I know you're friends with Dawn," I say. "Do you have any other friends?"
Oh no, that came out wrong! She'll think I'm calling her a total loser!
"Yeah, a few friends." Aurora smiles. She looks down to count on her fingers. "I'm also friends with Adam, Debra, and Gabe I guess. Four friends total?"
Phew! She didn't read anything into it.
"Dawn and I have been friends since we were little," she continues. "And I have classes with a lot of my friends."
"Oh, lucky you!" I say.
Aurora is quiet for a moment. She taps a finger under her chin like she's thinking. Then she says "Do you have any friends?"
Yep, she definitely doesn't realize this could be interpreted as an insult.
"Quite a few!" I say. "My best friend is Will, a senior. She, uh, moved, though. I haven't been in touch with most of my friends for a while..."
"Oh, that's too bad!" Aurora says. She gives me a smile. "Don't worry about it! They were probably just really busy or really sleepy this summer. Anyone could see what a likable person you are!"
"Thank you!" I say. "You're sweet."
But she has no idea how long I've been gone...
I sigh. I don't want to think about it anymore. Time to change the subject. "So is it just you and your dad, or do you have more family members?" I ask.
"I have a mom too," Aurora says.
"What does she do?" I ask.
"You know Rosenberg Technologies?"
"Yeah." I hold up my RosePhone. "I got my phone and laptop there."
Aurora focuses her gaze on a strand of hair that she's twirling around her finger. "My mom would be THE Rosenberg."
"Whoa! Are you kidding me?" I exclaim. "Isn't that, like, a trillion-dollar company?"
Aurora shrugs. "I don't really keep track of the numbers. I just know that my family is rich, despite the middle-class...? neighborhood."
She stares off into space. "They paid for in vitro fertilization to make me. And then my dad sued the company once they discovered that I was..." She looks down at her shoes, little white designer flats that I'd never have a chance of affording. "Actually, I don't want to talk about sad things."
She's clearly getting lost in sad thoughts. Better distract her.
"You're always wearing headphones when I see you," I say. "What do you listen to?"
Aurora brightens. "It depends. I really like instrumental and New Age music. It's relaxing. Sometimes I play white noise when things are loud. It helps me cope with all the sound."
"So you have sensitive ears?" I comment.
"Yeah. You know how Superman has incredible super hearing? That's not a power: it's a sentence to a lifetime of severe pain." She raises her eyebrows in a moment of confidence (a thing I don't think I've seen from her before). "In real life, simply leaving the house would be unbearable."
"Maybe he can turn it on and off at will," I muse.
Aurora droops. "I would give anything to be able to do that..."
Uh oh, subject change effectiveness fading! Evasive maneuvers, captain!
"Well, does it have any good parts?" I ask.
"Yeah. I can always hear when a dog is coming from far away!" Her face lights up. "Sometimes I get to pet the doggies."
I laugh. "That sounds fantastic!"
We reach the front of her house. It's definitely fancy and huge (for only 3 people?), but not a mansion like her family could clearly afford. I guess this is how the very rich might define "modest."
"I'll see you tomorrow, then, if you want," Aurora says.
I take a deep breath. I could back out now... run away with no money but an intact conscience... but no. I need the money. I need to help my aunts. To save the house my mom raised me in, the only place I can call home.
I take a deep breath. "Actually, I'd like to talk to your dad, if you don't mind."
Aurora tilts her head.
"He and I chatted yesterday," I explain. "I want to follow up with him on something."
Aurora frowns. "He didn't offer you money, did he? Mom says Dad throws money at things and expects it to fix everything." She blinks. "Wait, maybe I wasn't supposed to repeat that..."
"Don't worry," I say. "I won't tell."
"Thanks. Let's go inside."
I could turn back now. Part of my conscience is screaming at me, telling me not to take advantage of the situation, not to use Aurora's friendship as a tool to line my pockets.
But my family needs the money.
So I step up to the front door.
If you like the story, please consider voting, or sharing your thoughts in the comments!