Derek placed the beanie over the bag of potataoes and wrapped it in a scarf. He picked it up and giggled, placing it in the stroller.
"Derek!" Freddie yelled from the front door. "Come on and eat your breakfast! You're up next in the shower!"
"I wanna play for a while!" Derek protested. "Can you ask Carly if she'll get in the stroller?"
"The last time you asked Carly to play, you were locked in the basement for half a day," Freddie replied.
"That was on purpose. We were playing Loser Goes to Gitmo."
"Lets go!" Freddie sighed. "And put that stroller back in the garbage!"
Derek rolled his eyes at his brother. All he wanted to do was play family. He loved playing family; he could pretend to have the happy family that he always wanted. He dumped the stroller to the side and stomped up the stairs.
Inside, Lil was trying to fix the water heater in the wall.
"O, man. Yep, that's dead," Lil said.
"You sure?" Freddie sighed.
"Yep. The element's rusted out.
"Anyone wanna make some cookies with me?" Derek asked. Everyone ignored him.
"How much to replace it?" Freddie asked Lil.
"Uh... two bills used, four new."
"Shit." Freddie swore.
"How about pie?" Derek went on, "I can get started on the crust."
"Go take a shower," Freddie told him.
"I. Wanna. Make. Pie!" Derek protested, getting the ingredients out of the cabinets.
"You know what? Hand me the obits," Lil said to Freddie. Lil had always been good at repairing things, she understood electricity and mechanics like no one else in the house. "Maybe we can scavenge a dead person's water heater." Freddie handed her the paper. "Oh, Mrs Dembrowski.
"Oh, the shaky-neck lady?" Said Isla, "I though she drowned a couple years ago."
"No," Derek said. "Mrs Goga had the shaky neck and she drowned in her own vomit last Easter."
"No pie!" Freddie said when he saw the ingredients out. "Get in the shower, I'm not saying it again!" Freddie took the action figure that Carly was trying to burn off her. "Carly, no!" I went to school with Kelly Dembrowski. I think she had a rush on me" He said to Lil.
"We gotta go," Lil said to Isla as she checked her watch.
"Can I come?" Derek asked.
"Uh...no."
"Derek, what is going on with you?" Freddie asked him.
"...nothing," Derek replied.
"Carly, shower after Derek," said Freddie. "Towel and robe upstairs.
Derek stood in the kitchen alone has Freddie went upstairs to change Lacey's diaper, and Carly rushed to beat Derek to the shower.
...
At the Jackson residence, Franc came out of the shower and put on the clothes that Sean had laid out for her. She opened the bedroom window and looked at the birthday party that was going on down the street.
"Beautiful day for a party!" She yelled out.
"It's for kids, Franc!" Someone yelled. "No booze!"
Franc rolled her eyes and shut the window. "Then what's the point?"
"How would you like your eggs, Franc?" Sean asked as he set the table for breakfast.
"Fluffy." Franc replied. Sean kissed her on the cheek. "They're having a part across the street. For kids. No booze."
The front door opened and Eadie walked in.
"Mom?" Kyle said, a disgusted look on his face. Edie ignored him and walked over to the basement door. She opened it and walked in, ignoring Kyle's glare."What the hell is she doing here?"
...
Kel and Vin were making love in their bedroom when Kel saw Derek walk in through the door.
"Derek?"
"What?"
"What?"
"Stay focused," Vin put his hands back on Kel's breasts.
"Are the Gallaghers in our bathroom?" Kel asked, unable to concentrate.
"I know what you need," Vin pulled Kel back into focus.
Vin saw Carly out of the corner of his eye, but shut the door with his foot so that Kel wouldn't see. He had allowed them to use their bathroom, since they had no water.
...
Kyle and Eddie exchanges glares as Eadie sat down to eat.
"Aha!" Franc said as Sean placed her eggs in front of her. He took the cinnamon roll that Eadie was eating and carried it away, with a glare that matched Kyle's.
"Went to see a lawyer," Eadie said. "It turns out I can't afford to live somewhere else and support you two. You know Sean, if you would work, like the man of the house is supposed to, might I add, we wouldn't have this problem."
"Why can't you go live with Uncle Ray?!" Kyle said.
"He's got gangrene. You ever smell a rotting foot," Eadie replied. "Hey Sean, since you've decided to take on the womanly role in the house, why'd ont you get me a refill?" She placed her cup down on the table.
"Don't do it, dad," Kyle stopped Sean, who was about to walk over to the table. He turned back to Edie. "What, did you lose your fucking legs?"
"That's your hormonal teenage boy mind talking," said ing up to get herself a refill. "You've tasted some slut's cunt and now you're crazy."
"Don't call her that! Just 'cause you cant get a guy to fuck you!"
Eadie ignored that comment and grabbed the paper off the bench. She sat back down at the table as Franc made eye contact with Kyle. He winked at her seductively, before going back to eating his cereal. He winked at her again a few seconds later when he noticed her giving him a confused look. Franc was very confused, but slightly aroused.
...
Kel stepped into the cold shower and let out a cry. "Oh, shit! That's cold! What the - Vincent! There's no hot water!"
She hadn't noticed the Gallagher's dirty clothes spread out in the bathroom until now.
"Fucking Gallaghers!
...
"Well look at you, just letting yourself into people's houses," Freddie said when he saw Stella open the door and walk in.
"Tall grande latte, two shots," Stella handed Freddie the coffee.
"Sugar?"
"Absolutely," Freddie confirmed.
"Kids home?" Stella asked.
Freddie shook his head. "Lil and Isla are out getting a water heater, Derek's at the park, Carly's out looking for small, defenceless animals to torture, and Lacy's down for a nap."
"So...?"
"I'm up to my ass in housework," Freddie knew what Stella was propositioning.
"That's why I'm taking you to a long, deep, leisurely lunch,"
"Lunch?"
"It's a euphemism."
"How quaint,"
"Or would you like a demon dog and a quick fuckover at the Sheridan?"
Freddie chuckled. "Lacy?"
"Get a sitter."
"Costs too much?"
"How much?" Stella started going through her purse.
"At least fifty bucks." Freddie replied. "You're not paying me to fuck you. I thought you were more classy than that."
Stella smiled. "No, I couldn't pay you enough."
They started to make out when they heard a thumping upstairs.
"Did you hear that?" Freddie asked.
"No."
"You didn't hear that?"
"You trying to change the subject?" Stella leaned in to kiss him again when he pulled away.
"Lacy?"
Freddie shook his head. "She's too lazy to get out of her crib. She just yells." They walked over to Lacy's crib, confirming that she was in there, when they heard another noise upstairs.
"Stay with Lacy," Freddie whispered to Stella.
Stella didn't listen and followed Freddie, who had grabbed the killing bat, up the stairs. They crept up the stairs and into the hallway. They heard a noise coming from Derek's room, and Freddie was about to swing the bat when Derek came out.
"Derek," Freddie breathed a sigh of relief. "I though you were at the park."
"I came back,"
"Are you okay?" Freddie asked, noticing that Derek sounded nervous.
"Kallum Crasden's having a party..." Derek said.
"Kallum Crasden?"
"Two streets over."
"...and he didn't invite you...?" Stella asked.
"He's only three."
"What happened?" Freddie asked.
"Well, I was walking past... and his mom..." Derek started but trailed off.
"What about her mom?" Freddie asked.
"She was laughing and playing with them...and it just wasn't fair," Derek replied.
"What wasn't fair?"
"Everything. So I...I took something," Derek stuttered.
"What'd you take?" Stella asked.
They heard baby noises. They looked down at Lacy, who wasn't making any noise, and back up at Derek.
"Derek..." Freddie walked into Derek's room and gasped at what he saw. A baby boy was sitting in a toy car. "Who the hell is that?"
"Oh, here we go!" Franc yelled when the police pulled up on the sidewalk. "No traffic tickets to issue today? No one to pull over for swinging wide on a left-hand turn? Or is this a supportive friend party? For a cop who shot some poor fucker who wasn't even armed? Leave the people around here alone! They're good folks!"
"Who're the parents?" Terri said to the people at Kallum Casden's party. "Your child's missing?"
"Yes."
"I need your names and the name of your child."
"Beth and Gary Casden."
"Mr and Mrs Casden, when was the last time you saw...?"
"Cassie." The mother said.
"It was about an an hour ago," Gary Casden said.
"Okay, and what was she wearing?" Terri asked.
"Derek, why would you steal a little boy?" Freddie demanded. He lifted off the babay's hat, revealing her blonde curls. "Why would you steal a little girl and dress her up like a little boy?!"
"I wanted s boy, but there weren't any," Derek shrugged.
"Well, then back to my initial question," said Freddie. "Why would you steal a baby at all?"
"I miss Greg!" Derek exclaimed.
"What?"
"Who?" Stella asked.
"You took away Uncle Gregory!"
""Who's Uncle Gregory?" Stella asked again.
"Somebody we borrowed from Vin's nursing home," Freddie answered.
"He was my friend!"
"Derek, he was ninety."
"So?"
Freddie sighed, and decided to back to the subject at hand. "We have to take the child back. Where are her girl clothes?"
"I washed them," Derek replied.
Freddie opened the dryer and took out the Snow White costume. "Oh my god!" He exclaimed d when he realised they had shrunk. "You put it in the dryer?!"
"That's what you do after you wash something! Said Derek.
"We could put her in some of Lacy's clothes," Stella suggested.
"We can't bring a little girl back wearing different clothes!" Freddie said. "People will think we did something to her, something bad!"
...
"So are we just gonna wait out here?" Isla asked Lil.
"He's a chain-smoking pothead in a stress-induced situation, he'll be out soon," Lil replied, shivering from the cold air. They were standing outside the house of the man they planned on stealing a water heater from.
"What are we supposed to say?" Isla asked.
"I don't know, just play it cool," Lil replied.
"Play what cool?"
"Things people play cool...Jesus Isla." Lil's cell phone starting to ring.
"You've got your own cell?" Isla asked.
"Nah, some kid left it in the cafeteria," Lil smirked and answered it. "Hey, Kyle. Yeah, I'm at some dead lady's house trying to score a water heater. Meet me after?"
...
Vincent was getting out of the shower when Freddie come in in a rush "Hey Vin, I'm in a jam, can you watch her for fifteen minutes?" Freddie asked, putting Cassie down on the bathroom floor.
"Come on Fred, can't you see I'm in the middle of -"
"Thanks!" Freddie ran out of the bathroom.
"Okay, fine. Hi Lacy!" Vin said, thinking that he was meant to be looking after Lacy. "Who the fuck are you?" He said with his hands on his hips when he saw Cassie.
Freddie and Stella were walking across the road when Terri pulled up in her cop car.
"Hey, Freddie."
"Hey, Terri," Freddie replied. "You remember Stella?"
"Yeah, how's it going?" Terri said in a not-so-friendly matter. "Did you hear about the missing girl?"
"No, what happened?" Freddie tried his best to sound surprised.
"She got taken from the front yard of a birthday party."
"You think she may have just wondered off?"
"We've got everybody out looking. Choppers, SWAT, couple dozen extra units, Amber alerts."
"Wow, really?" Freddie was starting to get worried.
"We're gonna catch the bastard that took that little girl and chop his pedophile balls off."
This comforted Freddie somewhat. They were dead-set on it being some pedophile old MBA, and not a ten-year old boy who was looking for something to do.
...
Franc was watching the news report about the kidnapping of Cassie Casden.
"You see this?" She took a swig of beer. "This is what happens when the world goes crazy. People steal kids. And Rastafarians are allowed to roam free. I don't mean real Rastafarians, I mean Rastman Goldbergs from Lake Forest with rich parents who get dropped off in town cars and then go beg for money on the streets. What a load of crap. Obama-care my ass. What the news people don't tell you is...they love it when kids get stolen! They're just looking for a good story to saturate our airwaves with. And why are all the news ladies Chinese? They should stick to what they know: railroads, sushi and dim sum."
"Franc, guess what!" Sean came rushing over with a plate of muffins. "I made muffins using a bunt cake batter. I didn't even need to add another egg!" He placed the muffins down on the table as Franc grabbed for one. Her husband had never ever cooked, or cleaned, and now she lived with a man who never stopped cooking and cleaning.
"Hi Kyle," Sean said as Kyle came out of his room.
"The bitch gone?" Kyle questioned.
"She just left for work."
"I'm still here!" Eddie called from the couch. "I'm just getting my coat."
"I just had some delicious cunt," said Kyle, deliberately trying to wound his mother up.
"Little Cassie up the street," Franc tapped Kyle on the shoulder. "Gone missing, right from her own front yard."
"That's terrible," Kyle placed the shopping bags down. "Wow, its hot in here," he proceeded to take of his shirt, revealing his rock-hard abs and bulging biceps and collarbone. He purposely flexed and Franc felt herself being turned on.
...
"I wasn't sure what size, so I bought three, just in case," Freddie held up the Snow White dresses he had bought. "Oh, slow down," he spotted Lil and Isla walking along the path, Lil wheeling a water heater along with her. Stella pulled the car up beside them.
"Hey, look, it's almost new!" Lil motioned to the water heater as she saw them.
"Derek stole a baby," Freddie ignored the water heater. "We have to figure out how to return it."
"Derek stole a baby?" Lil repeated.
"Yep," said Stella.
"Why?" Isla questioned.
Freddie sighed. "I don't k ow, why does Derek do anything?"
"I did not see that coming, okay, um..." Lil tried to come up with something to do. "Can't we just give it back?"
"I wish we could. It's too late now," Stella replied.
"Find Carly and get home now," Freddie said as they drove off.
...
Kel was about to undress until she noticed a baby in the room.
"What's Lacy doing here?" She asked Vin.
"It's not Lacy," Vin replied.
"Who the hell is this?!" Kel exclaimed as Vin revealed the fact that she wasn't Lacy.
"I don't know, Freddie dropped her off."
"Attention, all residents! There's a child missing. Approximitely two years of age, wearing a Snow White costume, if you have seen this girl..." Vin and Kel heard the voice of Terri in her cop car outside.
"Fucking Gallagher's," Kel said.
...
"When I was a kid, we could go to a birthday party, and our parents wouldn't worry that we were gonna get stolen out of the front yard by some perv. That's when Maerica had values!" Franc said to the news reporters in the Casden front yard. "That was before Walmart, Dukakis, peanut butter and jelly in one jar."
The reporters didn't care about what Franc was saying, nor did they want her to be there, she was just looking for something to do.
"You know, you're too young to remember this, but there was a time when policemen were respected," she said to a cop. "When young men wanted to fight for their country. When oyu could go and bite twice down at the eleventh port. Before some liberal pricks elected a Muslim who isn't even American!"
...
The Gallagher were all sat at the kitchen table, sorting out their plan.
"We need to get your story straight for the police," Freddie said go Derek. "Why did you take the girl?"
"She was crying for her mom, and her mom wasn't around."
"Did you try to find his mom?"
"No, she was crying, and nobody cared, so I took her.
"You can't say that!" Freddie exclaimed. "What is wrong with you?!"
"Okay, Derek, was she inside or outside of the yard when you grabbed her?" Lil asked.
"Inside."
"Okay, so how did you get her out?"
"I waved a snickers bar at her."
Lil sighed and put her head in her hands.
"Did anyone see you?" Isla asked.
"I don't think so, we just ran."
"That wasn't suspicious," Freddie said sarcastically.
"So, you were running down the street -"
"I used the stroller," Derek cut Isla off.
"What stroller?"
"Lacy's old one."
"The one I told you to throw out?!" Freddie yelled. He was becoming more and more frustrated by the minute.
"I fixed it," Derek said with a satisfied smile. "For emergencies.
There was a loud banging on the door. "Open up, hurry!" Vin called. Lip unlocked the door and let him and Kel in. "What the hell is going on?!"
"Is this that missing kid?!" Kel said, carrying Cassie in a laundry basket.
"Derek stole her," Freddie said. "Now we have to figure out how to get her back without getting him in juvie."
"Why in the hell would he steal a baby?" Vin asked.
"Thee must be a couple hundred cops out there," Kel said, leaning out the window.
"I know, I'm so sorry for dragging you gush into this," said Freddie. "Derek, can you watch her for a minute?"
He led Vin, Kel, Lil and Isla into the living room. "I don't know what's king on with him."
"Well, maybe it's cause your dad bailed, or cause Franc's a big drunk," Kel suggested.
Vin made a disapproving face at her.
"Oh, what, I'm the asshole, now? He's the one who stole a baby!" Kel defended herself.
"Look, he obviously planned it, okay?" Said Lil. "I mean, he took a stroller out of the garbage and fixed it."
"Look, Derek's still a little kid, worst thing is he gets help," Stella said.
"Help?"
"What kind of help?"
"He stole a baby."
"He's not crazy!" Freddie answered. "He just sort of, accidently...took a kid!"
"Not if he lured him out of the yard with a candy bar!"
"What are you suggesting?"
"Some professional to -"
"What, as shrink?" Lil cut Stella off. "Gallaghers don't do therapy.
The voice of Terri spreading the word about Cassie, using the speaker in her cop car only made them all more stressed.
"Okay, we need a plan to get that girl back to her family, or Family Services is goung to have a field day," Freddie said once he had calmed down some.
"Family services?" Stella questioned.
"If they find out Franc has moved, they'll take the kids, split them up," Freddie said to her. "Remember what happened last time?" He turned to Lil.
The last time that Family Srevices took them and put them all into foster homes was awful. Derek and Carly were placed into some black family with two sons, Lil with an old man and women, and their middle-aged daughter, Isla with some Mary Poppins type family, and Lacy with a single dad.
"...shit," Lil said as she remembered the strange families that they had to live with.
"Exactly."
...
After a while, they had devised their plan and were going over it.
"Okay, Carly, you know that payphone that's outside the Kash and Grab?" Lil said to Carly.
"Yeah."
"I want to to get on your bike, go to the payphone and call the police," Lil went on. "Tell them you saw a little girl walking down Southport Avenue at 2:45."
"Why should I?" Carly said.
"Do you wanna be in a children's home until you're eighteen?" Isla threteaned.
Carly shrugged. "The group home in union had a climbing wall."
"Carly," Freddie warned.
Carly sighed. "I don't have a bike!" She whined.
"Wire cutter's in the junk draw."
Carly used the wire cutter to steal someone's bike from outside a store.
Lil continued to announce the plan to the family. "Steve, Fiona, you guys have to get Derek to take that kid back."
"I don't know that I can make that happen," Freddie said, a cigarette in his hand.
"Freddie, you have to or we're all fucked!" Lil argued. It was true. Unless Derek agreed to take Cassie back, there was nothing they could do.
Freddie, stressed, reluctantly agreed to try. "Okay."
"Why do I have to do it?" Derek asked when Freddie had begun to convince him.
"Because we've already told the police we didn't know anything." Freddie relied, getting frustrated.
"I'm not a good liar!" Derek protested.
"You can do this!" Freddie encouraged.
"I'm not. You always say so." The truth is, Drake didn't want to take Cassie back. He liked her, she was fun to play with. Also, she was the only one who wanted to play with him.
Stella stepped in. "Alright, you know what Derek?" She said softly. "It's been hours and Cassie's parents are really worried about her.
Derek was elictant, but he was starting to agree.
Suddenly, Freddie got an idea. "Remember that pie you wanted to make? Let's do that tonight."
Finally, Derek agreed. "What do I have to do?"
Carly reached the phone booth and dialled the number. She started reading from the paper Lil had given her. "I saw a little girl walking down Southporg Avenue at 2:45."
"At 2:45?" The man on the phone repeated.
"Yeah, 2:45!" Carly said loudly, slamming the phone back on the receiver. "Asshole."
Freddie and Stella made Derek repeat the story back to them.
"I was walking down Southport Avenue when I saw little Cassie..."
"You didn't know her name," Stella interrupted.
"I saw a little girl," Derek corrected. "All alone, and crying. I asked him where is mom was..."
"Not him," Freddie said, stressed.
"Her. I asked her where her mom was, and she didn't know. She seemed upset, so I gave her some chocolate..."
"Good, Derek. You're doing great."
"Alright Vin..." Lil recited to Vincent. "Go to the cleaners, ask Mrs. Bergdoll to use the phone in the bathroom."
"That woman's a cold bitch!" Vin interrupted.
"I'm got something for that, okay? Don't worry."
Vin entered the cleaners building. "Her Mrs. B! Can I use your phone really quick?" He said with a fake cheerfulness. "I got some green bud for your glaucoma."
Vin had convinced Mrs. B to let him use the phone. "I saw a little girl with a Snow White costume walking down Grand Avenue."
"And what time was that?" Th mean on the phone said.
"About 15 minutes ago. And I thought maybe this is the girl everyone's talking about."
"I'm sorry, a Cinderella costume?" The man said, obviously skeptical.
"I didn't say Cinderella, I said Snow White. She had a blue and yellow dress and she was walking with a little boy." Vin hung up before the man could talk any more. "Asshole."
Derek continued going over his story. "So I went to the phone outside Connie's Pizza to cal the police, but I couldn't use the phone because it was broken."
Elsewhere, Lil was outside Connie's Pizza, at the phone booth. She put the phone to her ear, heard nothing, and smashed the phone so it broke.
"And did you try to call anyone else?" Freddie asked Derek.
"Yes, I did," Derek nodded. "I was standing on the street, and I asked people who were passing if I could use their phone. I said it was an emergency, but no one listened. I don't know if it was because I'm young or...poor," he said the last part with a fake sad look.
A/N: I know, I know...I know! It's been about 25 years since I updated this story, I know. The truth is, I had never really abandoned it, it's just that these chapters take so long to write, and I've been really busy, and when I do usually get to writing fanfiction, I usually work on Elizabeth Gallagher (my other story).
I can't say that there will be another update soon, but we'll see. I wont ever abandon this story, and even though I may not update for a long time, I will always come back to it.
I hope you can understand that this story takes so long to write a chapter, and feel free to scream at me next time I take this long to update.
Thanks for reading, vote & comment!
Xox