❝We did not know that we had it all, but nobody warns you before
the fall.❞
CHAPTER
TWO
✘✘✘
PARK JIMIN
FUCK. I FUCKIN KNEW IT this woman was trouble. Violet Jefferson, or should I say Violet Park had the most convincing facade I've ever seen in my entire thirty years of life. I've lived far beyond, more than her to know that behind those innocent eyes, was a cunning, conceited woman, desperate to have what she always wanted. She was one of those woman, who would go to any lengths just to have their name attached to a man's. And she exactly did that, because now she was my wife.
Cursed—was the day when I agreed to this marriage, this fiasco I refuse to believe any of it was real until; I saw her the very first time. It was years ago when she just turned seventeen, and I was twenty-seven, newly declared as the most eligible bachelor.
I still remember, her cheery eyes, and flushed cheeks the way her eyes sparked when she caught me standing in the corner; watching her. And—I was too damn arrogant to look away at that point, I knew who she was my soon-to-be-wife. The fact, that she had an appearance of a venus didn't sit well with me, her bashful appearance and her carefree nature was what drew people towards. Violet, was oblivious of her charm; she didn't know what her smile could do to any man, her hair was a blazing fire cascading down her hips in a luring you into seductive spell, her scent was aphrodisiac, it lingered where ever she walked. Unknown; to everything, she moved around that cafe, as she served tables, smiling innocently at very man, immune to their stares.
It still surprises me to this day, was she pretending to be that innocent, or she really did not know? How every man there that day was fantasizing about her.
Bloody—hell mother, she could've married me to a goat I wouldn't have mind but she had to choose her. I still wish I never married her. This marriage was supposed to be with someone who wasn't her. And definitely did not look anything close to what she looks like. I can say, I hate her, I really do hate her. But, I don't know why I hate her, apart from the part that, we were now married and, this was probably the most I've interacted with her, yet it still didn't justifies my hatred towards her.
Nothing about her was wrong, she was humble, kind and bonded easily with my parents. Everything was too good to be true. Yet, my heart it was still at unease, dreaded with the horrors of our future together, building a family together. A family? Do I even deserve one?
Lowering my eyes, I let out a laboured breath, as the uncanny thought occupied my senses, leaving me unable to think straight. Not until, I find myself looking back into the eyes of the woman that corrupted my mind, and withered away my bold domineer.
For a minute— I forgot to breathe. I was just beginning to believe that, maybe getting married won't be that hard, and here I was now staring at my wife standing in front of me. Looking like anything close to reality.
She stood there in that, red lingerie my eyes roamed around her body, as I resisted the sudden urge I felt to feel her against my body, she had a perfect body with curves at right places. The valley between her breast was too hollow, straight as my eyes trace the line leading downwards towards her stomach, small, but not at all bony, it was perfect. I could not stop myself, I knew what my body was telling me, I knew how it desires the beauty standing in front, but still I couldn't move. There was still a thread holding me back from doing something, which could ruin my plan, I sighed and looked away until my eyes travel back to her face. She looked like she just went down a cold bucket of water, God her face looked petrified. It almost felt like she was terrified of me, touching her.
As that thought reached my mind, I couldn't help but wonder what would it be like, to actually touch her body. To drive her to the heights of pleasures she never imagined, to have her beneath me defenseless, and completely bare. My eyes flickered momentarily, in alarm dreaded with the agonizing ache, as I felt the lower part of my body acting in a completely different way, it was almost torturous when I looked up to find her standing a few steps back, giving me a more clearer view to stare her body. Her chest, her breasts were perfect. My cock hardened, as my eyes land on her errect nipples, hidden underneath the satin cups, I fisted my hands resisting the sudden urge to touch those heavenly mounds.
I was sick. I shouldn't be thinking this.
“Thanks,” she says and tried to walk away but I held her by her arms and spined her around, her back facing me as I felt her shiver when my fingers touched her. My male ego, danced with pride at the thought that I had an affect on her.
So, I continued my slow-torture taking my time, as I traced the curves of her body with my fingers, her neck arches earnestly with eagerness, as she shut her eyes, and breathes heavily. I was almost enjoying this of how easily I could get her body react to my touch, every time I touch her she whimpers, but then my subconscious hits me.
Like a fucking tornado. The fuck was I even doing. I can't be doing this, not to her. I felt shaken, my hands laid motionless upon her warm skin, wondering what to make of this situation, and my growing fear. Fear of something I didn't know. I can't think straight, not in the same room with her. Especially when I know now how soft her skins feels, how breath her shudders under my touch. I can't, and I won't touch, not tonight, not ever if I wanted to out of this marriage. But somewhere deep down, where my subconsciousness lies came a very small voice, I can have her now and claim her, every part of her, because I can; because Violet, was now my wife.
I needed to get her off, I need distance, for which I'm willing to do anything even it means breaking her heart. And I won't be damn, sorry even if she cries, because this is what I am a; selfish bastard.
“I will never give you the right to truly become my wife, I don't want you or your body,”I didn't even blink when I said that to her. Her eyes flickered back, staring upwards at my face shaken with bewilderment, and distrust, it was as if she truly understands now who I was. The way she moves back, placing her arms around herself in defense, almost wounds my minutes prior male pride.
I couldn't bare to stand there and, look at her while she struggled to appear strong, to put up a strong facade, acting like nothing I ever say will matter to her, while I stand pondering and, conflicting about the day when it may actually come true. Whatever I say won't matter to her. I fear that day might not too far.
As I made my exit, shutting the door behind I couldn't help but recall my previous doubts only to be reminded of my ridiculous mistake, because one thing I know for certain now was, Violet Jefferson was innocent. She was pure, and ingénue. And, I am probably wrong about everything I thought of her, because now I feel like a heartless freak, for playing with her feelings like that.
•••
I needed a drink and a woman. The night life calls out to me as I sauntered, elegantly into the club, nodding my head nonchalantly at the security guards who bowed their heads in respect, but didn't dare to look up, not surprised to find me here, everyone here probably heard about my marriage, and my visit to the club on the night of my wedding would be a trilling shock for the ladies, but I needed everyone here to understand that being married won't change who I am. I will forever be Park Jimin, the guy who never gives a fuck about what anyone thinks.
As I enter the center of the club; loud music hits my ears, flaring fast across the dim interior of the club, along with neon lights, dancing unstoppably above our heads, luring each and every soul present towards promising, adventures night full of dark surprises.
When I finally made my way to the VIP sectioon, I catch my buddies sitting there, each one busy with something to keep them occupied. I waved at them, as they looked up, puzzled to find me here, at this time of the night. If they believed I was going to alter my old habits and, forever stay a committed, and faithful husband then they were wrong. The thing with me is, I hate commitments, I can never stay at one place for too long, whether it's a person or, a place.
“What are you doing here?” Hoseok was the first one to ask, sounding livid still not recovered from shock.
“What did you think I would spent my first night with my 'beautiful' wife,”I spoke emphasizing the word beautiful and yet, though I still can't deny the fact that, she was sure is a beauty, but this doesn't end my hatred towards her.
“That's my boy,” yells Namjoon from far, as Hoseok shakes his head in disapproval particularly not liking the older one's open enthusiasm.
Chuckling, I turn and look at the dancefloor, there I see a completely drunk, Kim Taehyung totally locked in a seductive tango with a girl. Their bodies were all over each other, people were making noises, I grinned standing in my place until I caught, Jungkook filming a video. Lord of mercy. Something tells me, Jungkook was out for revenge. I tried recalling the last time Taehyung pulled a prank on him, and then it occurred to me, it was not only recently Jungkook’s girlfriend dumped him, over a lie Taehyung told her, and she believed him utterly denying the suspicious nature of Taehyung, his not too convincing eyes, that always overpowered his amateur pranks.
“Hey, that girl is hot,”exclaimed Hoseok, gaining everyone's attention immediately, pointing towards a red head, I grinned knowing he has a thing for redheads, but this one was mine just for tonight.
“Don't even think about it, that redhead is mine,” Jin, rasped out furiously chugging down his drink in one go, as I frowned to see him already standing up, his eyes wandering towards the redhead seductress, pushing Hoseok and I aside.
Usually he is not like this, something is not right, I place a hand over his shoulder,“Is everything alright?”I ask him with concern.
“I broke up with Sumi,”he says sadly, I knew this was going to happen when they started going out.
I knew it cause all women are the same. And want the same thing, a mansion full odd things, that are too expensive and could feed a whole generations of beggars. But that's not all, they also want, two brats—children, who are raised by nannies. Frequent parties, spa weeks, salon trips and flying around the world with nothing to worry about, while the man earns, looking after the so-called family.
The night passed in a blur, until by 3am, I find myself drowned enough in drinks. Everyone left. I was left alone in a private room for VIPs, with a nameless woman between my legs, as I grunted bitting a curse shutting my eyes to kill the burning ache within my soul, it was hurting. Weeping for the life it lost. Begging to be free. Miserable, desperate to feel alive again, to feel what it use to feel.
Running my hand through my pocket, I pulled out the small bottle of anti- depressants, and swallowed two pills down. My eyes burned, and my head was throbbing with insufferable pain, I tried to think straight to clear my head, but couldn't even stand for a minute before feeling like the world was spinning madly.
My breath came out harshly, as I turned to stare at the hand that now rested on my thigh, the woman kneeling in front of me, stares up at my face, her eyes traveling boldly down towards my bulge, as she smirked, seductively running her fingers along my thigh. I groaned, adjusting my pants, before my eyes land on her hand. Staring at it for a good two minutes, letting her continue her venture until, I could erase the vivid images from my head. Images, I wanted to forget.
My heart was wounded, but my body it was awake and it wanted something, or more like someone. Someone, I should never desire. I was a pathetic excuse for a man, I couldn't believe that all it took for me to feel this trapped, this starved, was just one look at her. In her fucking lingerie.
Violet. My wife. Innocent. Mine.
“Stop,” I gritted out, letting out a harsh breath, as the woman, pulling down my zipper frowns, awkwardly staring up at me, from between my legs, as I sighed pulling out my wallet some cash I place it own the table,“I asked you to stop. Now stand up.”
Moving, away instantly the woman continues to stare at me, as if I was a madman as her eyes flickered downwards with shame when she stares back at the cash, and spoke“I am not a prostitute.”
“Get out,” I barked, my voice resonates like a faraway thunder making the miserable woman, flinch in her place.
Not even bothering to look at her, I turned, fixing my belt as silence fell upon the room, masking the palpable tension lingering between the four walls, until I hear the door shutting close with a loud bang.
Shutting, my eyes close I swallowed the rest of tequila, before taking out a lighter from my coat, I light the cigar bringing it to my lips. This was for the good.
•••
VIOLET
Around morning, when I've finally changed and drank some coffee after recovering from my meltdown, when I was finally able to calm myself down, to hold myself back up, I was disappointed to find my husband barging in the room with the horrible stench of alcohol, coming off him, making me wince with disgust as I stare at him, trying to read his expression.
“What are you doing?” I asked breathlessly, hating how weak my voice sounded when, Jimin takes a step standing, uncomfortably too close to me.
Seconds passed. Yet, we didn't move, he was still standing close to me, but his coat was now on the floor lying between us, I swallowed finding it difficult to think anything above the blood rushing to my cheeks, the unusual beating of my heart. The way, my body calls for him. I couldn't fathom, what was happening to me?
God—I can't let him near me. He's going to use me for his own pleasure, and then leave me, alone to feel terrible. I can not let him dominate me.
“Violet,” the way he called out my name made goosebumps to rose throughout my body, as I gulped taking a step back, as he takes another step copying my movement,“Do you know how hard it is to grief for the loss of someone, who is still alive?”
I frowned shaking my head, as he chuckled darkly with a pained look across his face, he moves back turning away to lay down on the bed as I stand, watching him with alertness.
“Why did you marry a man like me, I can't love you. Your life would be better without me.?” He asks, suddenly making my eyes go wide as I bite my lips struggling to think of an answer, but decided it was probably no use to think so hard, I could just say anything and he would forget by morning.
“If I could answer that question then I would've answered myself a long time, but the truth is I didn't marry you because I wanted love, I married you because I wanted an escape, something to take me out of my misery.”
When I finished speaking I found the man in question, my husband lying face down on the bed, soundly asleep as I sighed shaking my head disapprovingly to find him still wearing his shoes.
So, I did what any decent human being would've done. I took off his shoes and socks, placing them neatly aside. And pulled the covers over his body, placing his legs underneath which took me few minutes as he was obviously heavy for someone as small as me, my breath huffed as I pulled away, pushing back my hair but halt, abruptly placing my hand underneath his head.
He was murmuring, something I couldn't hear even this close to him, his voice sounds different gruff, and almost in pain when I gently, wipe his face with a warm towel he groans, his brows furrowed as I watch the muscles in his face spasm, his lips tugged upwards,“Grace.”
I heard it. The name I heard it, even against the howling winds, it was almost a whisper, too hard to catch but I knew by the way he called out to her, who ever she was, I knew how much he was suffering. The pain within his voice, the tremble of his eyes with tears glistening down his serene face, was an image I am afraid I could never forget from my mind.
Oh, God. What have I done? He loves someone, and I ruined it.
TO BE CONTINUED
Author's Note :
I want to thank all
those who voted and commented
on my story <3 I promise that
I will never disappoint you guys and
will keep up with the hard work.
Do share your thoughts, I would love to know what you think.
I know this took too long but to make up for the long wait I wrote a very long chapter. This was different because I always find it difficult to write in a male’s point of you. So please bear my words, and I'm sorry if they made you cringe.
Stay precious, as you are to me.
Stay safe. And remember to smile. ♥
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Love,
Shafaq-Shapel