“we called you here because we needed to tell you something.”
it was the same office that koeun gets told to go to whenever something was up. the white walls seemed dull as always, and like any other days, she felt suffocated whenever she had to enter this particular room. hesitantly, koeun sat on a chair opposite him, placing her hands on her thighs. “..what is it?”
“we’re gonna have you removed from the lineup, koeun.”
when authors expressed how the main characters felt, koeun had always wondered how were they able to do so. did they go through the same amount of pain? was it only what they imagined to be? because, wow, koeun felt so hurt that she felt like she could write an entire book about this overwhelming emotion she felt right then – hurt – and scream until her lungs hurt and her throat give up on her. even after all those, she felt like it still won't be enough.
“b-but i’ve been here for so long, and i was given the leader title, it's not right if i don't get to guide them – ”
“we thought over this a lot, so it'd be better if we don't argue about this. i'm sure you know what you've done recently.”
i'm sorry.
oh.
he went on and on about koeun's mistakes, but all she could hear was loud ringing in her ears and her vision was blurred by her tears, once again. all those sleepless nights, after years of hardwork, endure, patience, tolerance, practicing, longing to be able to hang out with her friends as a free teenager, giving up her entire teenagehood to be fully committed in what she was trying to achieve, and this was what she got in the end.
was it really what koeun deserved?