"Bea, please stop!"
Dylan catches up to me in the hallway of the apartment, the door slowly swinging shut as I turn around and face him, a knot of anxiety beginning to ball in my stomach.
"Please don't marry her in June!"
He straightens up as he looks at me with a puzzled expression. I'd surprised even myself with that request but quite frankly I'd filled my quota of emotional trauma today and I don't think my fragile state can handle much more.
"Why not Bea?" He doesn't ask it in a defensive or demanding tone. He asks with genuine curiosity, totally willing to listen to whatever I have to say.
"Because!" I screech, throwing my arms up. "That's like six months away! That's too soon! I mean you only got engaged a couple of weeks ago! What's the rush?"
"Uhh," Dylan sways his head from side to side, staring at the carpet with a cocked brow. "I dunno," he shrugs, meeting my eyes. "Charlie wanted a June wedding."
"So what Charlie wants, Charlie gets?"
"It just didn't seem worth arguing about," he says softly. "Didn't really bother me."
"Well it bothers me. Why can't it happen next June? Or the June after?" I can hear the panic coming out with my shaky voice.
I'm not entirely sure why I feel so strongly about this. It definitely has to do with the fact that it is too soon, no ulterior motive or hidden agenda, it's just too soon. But another part of me seems to be intent on toying with the possibility that this runs a little deeper than my concern towards the rush and perhaps this has something to do with newly developed feelings I've been having towards the soon to be groom.
"Once you marry her, everything changes! Everything!" I lift my hand and pinch his lips between my fingers before he can object and attempt to convince me that nothing will change. "Everything will change, Dill. She'll have like a legal hold on your balls and I'll see waaaay less of you. Then you'll start having kids and I just... I don't wanna lose you yet. Not yet. It's too soon!"
"Okay," he mumbles through his still tightly sealed lips. I drop my grasp and stare at him in disbelief. "No June wedding then. I'll tell her we're postponing it."
I'm not sure how much time passes while I just stand there and stare at him with my mouth hanging wide open. It feels like quite a while before I finally switch my brain back on and begin to stutter in shock.
"You'd postpone the wedding. . . For me?" I lift my arm, my index finger pointing straight towards myself, needing to visually display how unsure I am that I'd heard him correctly.
"Of course Bea," he takes a step forward, his warm hands resting on my shoulders. "You're the most important person in my life. I'm not gonna do something that makes you unhappy."
"Shouldn't your fiancée be the most important person in your life?" I mumble with a small smile on my lips.
"Uhhh," Dylan grits his teeth as he flicks his head from side to side, "she's second?" He grimaces with a guilty expression. "Don't tell her I said that."
Guilt begins to creep its way into my conscience Despite my best efforts to keep it down I can't help but feel like a slimy bitch for throwing a tantrum over his wedding. He'd so willingly put his own happiness aside for me. This totally selfless, incredible person puts me above his own fiancée and while I wish I could accept that and let him make me happy, I cant, because it's not fair. If he doesn't give that witch a June wedding she'll be miserable about it, which in turn, will make him miserable and I can't watch him suffer for my own selfish gain.
"Have your June wedding," I grumble loudly. "Marry that Caroline Forbes wannabe in June. Just do it."
"Now I'm a little confused?" Dylan chuckles softly, his eyes scanning my face for some indication that I'm messing around.
"I can't ask you to not get married because I'm scared I'll lose you." I shrug his hands from my shoulders, not able to stand his touch anymore. "You were willing to put your wedding on hold for me, I think it's safe to say I won't lose you."
"I tried to tell you that," he clacks his tongue and gives me a warm smile that quickly tangles my emotions. "Are you sure you're gonna be okay though?"
"Yes!" I assure him, meeting his stare and matching it. Neither of us become unwavering as our eyes bore into one another. "Marry her."
"In. . . June?" He asks slowly and for a moment it doesn't sound like he's asking about the 'when' he should marry her, it almost sounds like he's asking if he should marry her at all.
I scan his features. The slight furrow of his brow, the part in his lips as his tongue nervously dances over the top of his teeth, the way his eyes dart around my face as if he's reading a map that he can't quite make sense of.
The tone in which he'd spoken those two words.. 'in June?'
They sounded as if there was a deeper meaning behind them. But there couldn't be and I quickly convince myself that I'd heard something that I wanted to hear because apparently I like self inflicted torture.
"In June." I reply firmly, nodding my head with a poker face, hoping my neutral smile isn't giving away the inner turmoil that's weighing me down.
"Yeah," his face contorts for literally a millisecond. It's so fast that I barely see it, but because I know this boys mannerisms like the back of my hand I know that I distinctly saw a flicker of disappointment and that further confuses me. But as fast as it had come, it's gone and a wide smile lifts his lips. "Come on, everyone's gonna be wondering what's going on."
He wraps his arm around my shoulder and leads us back to the apartment door. I recall the alarmed looks everyone had worn as I'd stormed out with a panicked Dylan running after me. I didn't care at the time because I was too busy having a fit about my best friend marrying an abomination to actually care, but the embarrassment is starting to seep in and I feel a blush creep up my neck.
"Oh I'm sure Charlie filled them in on your best friends instability." I roll my eyes, disguising the shame with hostility.
Dylan chuckles but doesn't say anything as we walk into the apartment and enter the living area, all eyes immediately landing on the two of us standing wrapped in an embrace.
It's dead silent for a beat. And then another and then another. Not even the toddler is making any noise as her tiny face darts around the room. If this goes on for much longer I'll have another panic attack.
Charlie stands by the window, her arms folded across her chest as her menacing glare zeros in on Dylan's arm around my shoulder. Brecken looks like he's enjoying every moment of this hideously awkward situation and Judy and Allan look completely perplexed.
"Uh should we eat?" Dylan finally suggests, his voice slicing through the silence like a sharp knife. He drops his hold on me and starts walking towards Charlie, leaving me with an instant lonely chill running through my veins.
"You're the chef," Brecken chortles, lifting Lilly in his arms. "You tell us if it's ready."
"Right!" Dylan redirects his route without missing a beat, heading towards the kitchen and I notice that Charlie's pissed off features become even darker if that's possible.
"I'll help." She declares with a clipped tone before she storms out of the room.
"What do you think of the chicken, cranberry and Brie tartlets, Bea?"
I look up from my plate and meet Dylan's waiting smile. He's sitting at the head of the table, next to Charlie who hasn't relaxed a facial muscle since I got here.
"They're amazing, as always,"!I smile widely, not willing to let the wicked witch of the upper east side get my spirits down.
"I did those just for you because I know how much you love them," his childlike grin erupts not only butterflies, but an entire zoo in my tummy. It startles me every time because it's just not something I've ever felt towards him before.
"Oh," Brecken scoffs from his seat at the head of the table on the other end. "You know Lizzie likes Churos, did you make her those?"
"Breck," Lizzie blushes as she shovels a spoonful of mash into their daughters eager mouth. Lizzie is a sweetheart, her strawberry blonde hair sits in untameable waves half way down her back, her bright blue eyes are always watching everything curiously and I constantly ask how such a doll like her ended up marrying a twat like Brecken.
Although, even I have to admit, he seems to melt like butter around her. She might be the only girl that can whip him into line.
How?
I have no idea because she barely speaks when she's around everyone else.
"Of course I made churos." Dylan rolls his eyes, taking a bite of his pork crackling. "Just for you Lizzie."
He looks my way and gives me a wink, letting me know the churos weren't in Lizzie's honour, but the tartlets absolutely were in mine. Why he feels the need to make me feel so special is something I don't know the answer to. But it only adds to the boat load of confusion I'm already well acquainted with.
"Ya know," Allan pipes up. "Dylan did prepare all of the food yesterday, but his lack of presence this morning meant that we had to finish it, so I mean, who's the real thanks going to."
"Yes Dad, you're a hero," Dylan chuckles, playfully rolling his eyes.
"So how are the wedding plans coming along you two?" Judy asks. She's sat next to Allan on the other side of the table, leaving me on the fourth side looking as alone as I feel.
The question seems to lighten Charlie's mood and she quickly straightens up, her smooth, perfect bob swaying with her movements.
"Well," she smacks her ruby red lips together, infuriating me further. I think at this point, if she breathes in my direction I'm going to blow a fuse. "So as you know, it's a June wedding, I'm thinking, New York, Four Seasons. Outdoor reception of course, location to be determined."
"We don't have to talk about this right now." Dylan leans in, speaking quietly to Charlie, but I hear each word and catch his gaze as it flickers in my direction. I put my head down and focus on the food in front of me, but not before I catch Charlie's glare aimed directly towards me.
"Nonsense," she chirps. "Things need to be discussed. Judy and Allen I was hoping you could provide cars for the wedding party?"
"Oh of cours-" Judy begins to adhere to the orders until Dylan cuts her off.
"Speaking of the wedding party," I can sense a multitude of eyes, all on me. So I look up and find not only Dylan but the rest of the table watching me curiously. "Bea, wanna be my best man?"
"Are you kidding?" Charlie gasps. "She can not be your best man!"
"Uh yeah," Brecken chortles. "For once I actually agree with terminator barbie. What the hell bro?"
"Breck, you're a groomsman." Dylan rolls his eyes. "There's no one else that I want to be my best man."
"She's a girl!" Charlie cries, clearly becoming frustrated with the situation and not doing a thing to hide it. "Nope, no way."
"Charlie, it's my decision," he glares before he turns back to me, an expecting smile on his face. "Bea?"
My eyes slowly circle the table and I feel like I'm trying to make a life or death decision here. Judy and Allan look a little unnerved, they know the tension that exists between myself and their future daughter in law and while they don't want to get within an inch of the conflict, their support has undoubtedly always lay with me. Brecken looks smug with glee which obviously means he isn't as upset about being bumped from best man candidate. He despises Charlie almost as much as I do, but we no longer share the same reasons for disliking her. As my feelings towards her fiancé have unwillingly become more infatuated than I can possibly fathom.
If I say yes to becoming the best man, I'll piss off Charlie to no end and possibly become somewhat of a punching bag over the next six months. If I say no, Dylan will be disappointed but he ultimately won't have to listen to Charlie rant and rave about his decision.
Ugh.
"Of course I'll be your best man Dill," I smile, hoping that it's hiding some of the uncertainty. I can't disappoint Dylan, if it means that I have to get ordered around by Charlie or see more of her, then so be it. If Dylan wants me at his side when he marries Char—
Wait.
That part had completely evaded me when I made my decision. I'd have to stand by his side. I'd have to have a front row seat to my best friend, signing his soul to the devil. I'd have to watch the boy that I love, and possibly have some weird unrequited crush on, marry lucifers lady!
Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit.
My internal alarm is suddenly ceased when Judy cheers enthusiastically.
"I think that's wonderful. You two have been friends since you were fifteen. It makes sense." She take a sip of her champagne and smiles widely.
"Fine," Charlie seethes, doing a horrible job of hiding her disappointment. "What will you be wearing Bea?"
"Hmm," I tap my chin thoughtfully. "Probably, a big, white gown. Possibly a veil. I dunno. What about you?"
Dylan starts to choke on his drink, his eyes upturned with laughter, but also very obvious pain as his beer goes down the wrong way. Charlie's eyes become so wide that I think her eyeballs falling out of her head is a very real possibility.
"Sounds like Bea wants to marry Dylan," I whip my head towards Brecken who's smirking like a prick, wiggling his brows in delight at my discomfort. I had only meant to piss off Charlie with comments about upstaging her at her own wedding. I hadn't even considered how it would sound.
Why am I continuously getting shut down and feeling like an absolute embarrassment today?!
"You'll wear a tailored tuxedo," Charlie snaps, not bothering to rub Dylan's back, which I so desperately want to do as he finally gets his breath back.
"It's going to be a lovely day," Judy smiles tightly, her and Allan sharing a very brief but obvious look of discontentment.
"Very," Charlie chirps with excitement that's about as faux as her boobs. "Honey, we need to get going, we've got dinner at my parents."
Dylan looks disappointed. To the untrained eye, he's just tired or perhaps full from the enormous lunch. But I know that he isn't ready to leave.
"We haven't had dessert yet," I say quickly as he starts getting to his feet.
"We're not staying for dessert, we still have another three courses at my family's estate." Charlie lifts one corner of her mouth, smiling sarcastically before she turns to Judy and Allen. "Thank you for a lovely morning and the gorgeous gifts."
"Hey," Dylan sits next to me while Charlie douses everyone in her pretentious farewells. "I haven't opened your gift yet. I saw it under the tree. I'll be back later tonight, you should wait for me. We can exchange gifts like we always do."
The sparkle in his warm eyes and the optimism in his smile is enough to unravel my composure. I'm becoming less confused by my reaction to him, I know how it feels to like someone, but it's concerning all the same.
"Of course I'll wait," I tell him quietly.
"Good," he leans in and gives me a soft kiss on the cheek, lingering for just a second longer than he usually does. It makes me dizzy and the scent of his Hugo Boss fragrance dances inside my nose, instilling the urge to lean in closer, to wrap my arms around his body and run my hands through his hair and pull his shirt off and touch hi—
Why do those fragrances have that effect on woman!? I swear they were invented by men who put a secret spell in the bottles, causing woman to lose all sense of reason and float off to sexual la la land.
"See ya," he winks, standing up and rounding to the table to meet Charlie at the entryway, where she's waiting, etched with the infuriation that seems to be a permanent fixture on her face.
How did he fall in love with someone so sour?!
I watch his back longingly as he retreats, the sound of the apartment door closing causes me to flinch and step back into reality. My eyes slowly pull away from the distance and meet Brecken's, who for once doesn't have some smug grin on his lips. Instead he's giving me a thoughtful stare, studying my face, a tinge of confusion pulling his brows down.
I look away and notice that Allan has disappeared, most likely into the kitchen. Deciding that I can't stand the pitiful glances from Judy and Brecken, I stand up and start clearing the plates away.
"Dessert?"
After dessert we all exchange gifts, leaving the ones for Dylan and Charlie tucked nicely in the corner. Judy and Allen gifted me a beautiful Marc Jacobs watch, its white gold with glittering diamonds frosting the outer edge and the face is a beautiful rose gold colour. It's gorgeous. From Brecken and Lizzie I get a generous gift card for Sephora. The gift I'm most looking forward to opening is the one from Dylan, but I know how important it is, that we do it together and honestly I wouldn't have it any other way either.
Eventually Lizzie decides to take Lilly home and put her to bed, but insists that Brecken should stay until Dylan gets back so they can spend some more time together. Judy puts some Christmas songs on the sound system and pours everyone a wine, deciding she needs some time to unwind from the long day.
Taking my wine I head for the suede plush white couch which is currently swallowing Judy, but before I can sit down, I decide that I could use some air. I feel like I haven't had a minute to process any thoughts today. Between the hectic morning and the torturous lunch to having Allan chew my ear off about the current stock market for the last two hours, my thoughts have been occupied at all times with very irrelevant thoughts.
"I'm just gonna pop out for a sec," I tell Judy, moving over to the ranch slider that opens on to the balcony.
I shut the door behind me and move over to the outdoor heater that's burning brightly on the small patio table. The night is cold, white air billows out with each breath, but it's refreshing and the city life below is soothing.
Some people feel drawn to the country or quiet for their peace and serenity. But I've always found mine in the hustle and bustle of the city. Especially from afar, it's calming and relaxing and I finally feel like I can start to think about my best friend and the strange feelings that I've had since the moment I woke up.
"You finally realise it don't you," I turn around and eye Brecken stepping out and shutting the door behind him, beer in hand. He wanders over and stands next to me, gazing out over the night time sky with a pondering smile on his face. "You love him.. as more than your best friend."