Chapter Three - A Little Glimpse
Sabrina's head hurt. A boy who had ruined her junior high years and had pretty much set all of Vancouver's Arabs (except Emaan) on her, had just asked her hand in marriage. Not only that, but he was a former gang member, possibly still did drugs and had nearly ran over a guy because he was too drunk. Naturally, she was hesitating. And naturally, her parents were too. Though they didn't even know the whole story. And for some reason, Sabrina didn't want them to.
"So, let me get this straight." Her father said, his brows drawn together in confusion. "This boy, Khalid - who bullied you because you were Indian - now wants to marry you?"
Sabrina shrugged. Her mother had explained the situation between Khalid and Sabrina, based on what he'd said when he'd proposed. Her father had sat back in shock after learning that his daughter had been bullied for nearly her entire Junior High years.
"Am I missing something here?" He asked, seriously.
"We got over it, I guess." Sabrina answered. "He said he felt bad about it."
"But why didn't you ever tell us?" He went on, confusion turning into anger. "Why did you just keep quiet and pretend everything was alright?"
"Hamaad," Sabrina's mother said sternly, in hope to curb his anger. Putting her hand on her husband's shoulder, she turned to Sabrina. "Your father is right though, baita. Why did he bully you in the first place?"
"I may have insulted him and all Arabs in general." Sabrina mumbled, averting her eyes.
She'd felt so ashamed and weak. She didn't want her parents knowing and taking the matter to the Principals office and blowing it out of proportion. Then everyone would have hated her even more. Oh, Sabrina, we see you've gone to the principal once again, haven't you? She could almost imagine Leena's cronies gathering around her and spitting out something like that. Sabrina shuddered.
"Sabrina!" Her father gasped. "Why would you do something like that?"
And that was where she had to mumble out a "I was just mad" and shrug it off. Because she couldn't tell her parents that she was accused of snitching out Khalid for doing drugs. They wouldn't want a druggie as their son in law and despite Sabrina's hesitation at accepting his proposal, she at least wanted to give him a chance.
"Well, no use whining over something we cant change." Sabrina's mother sighed. "What are you going to say to Khalid?" She asked Sabrina.
"But Yasmeen, why are we even considering this. No, of course." Her father interrupted.
"Oh, Hamaad, people change. Its not like he bullies her anymore. And if I remember correctly, you were quite...bossy once too, in your youth."
Sabrina was surprised to see her father's face turn pink. He looked like a little boy caught with his hand in the cookie jar, and Sabrina had to stifle a smile behind her hand. Hamaad turned to his wife and with an almost sheepish grin, shook his head and replied.
"But people change." He sighed and turned to his daughter. "So?"
"I dont know." Sabrina answered, truthfully. "I need to think about it."
There was no way she was going to tell her parents the whole truth. They would never consider letting their only child getting married to someone with a history as dark as Khalid's. They may think that people can change, but if they knew everything about Khalid, that belief would fly out the window. They had limits and Khlaid's criminal record crossed pretty much all of them. She wanted to think it over. She wanted to be sure that he was actually serious about letting her help him and then she would make her decision.
* * *
"Say what?" Emaan gasped.
"SHUT THE FRONT DOOR!" Leila screamed, her eyes going wide.
"And what did you say?" Emaan cried.
"TELL ME YOU SAID YES AND YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE HIS BABIES!" Leila went on, jumping up and down.
Sabrina paused and fixed Leila with a disapproving glare. She'd just told her two best friends in the whole world that Khalid had proposed to her and while she was expecting Leila's reaction to be similar to that of a pre-teen girl who'd just been handed One Direction concert tickets, she wasn't expecting that particular remark.
"Leila, the boy just proposed to her." Emaan snorted, lying back down on Sabrina's bed. "I mean seriously, one step at a time, please."
"But what did you say?" Leila asked Sabrina. "Please tell me you said yes."
Sabrina was quiet. She chose that moment to admire the wall.
"You said no, didn't you." Leila whispered, and it was as if the pre-teen girl had just found out her concert tickets were fake.
"I said I'd think about it." Sabrina announced. "I told him that if he really is serious about wanting my help to become a better Muslim than he needs to prove it."
Sabrina winced inwardly at how her words must have sounded. She sounded like a cocky little princess. Who did she think she was, demanding Khalid to prove himself as if she found him unworthy? She suppressed her thoughts and reminded herself that she had the right to ask him to change. Marriage wasn't some joke. It was a life long decision that she didn't want to regret. The last thing she wanted was to get married to him, believing he would change and then find out he'd given up and resort back to drugs and gangs.
Her friends fell silent. She watched Leila's face grow confused and then understanding seemed to dawn in her eyes. Emaan stared at her with a knowing look and nodded as if she'd reached a private conclusion. Sabrina was a little surprised to see that Emaan was looking at her like she knew exactly what she was thinking.
"You don't think he can change, do you?" Leila asked softly, while Emaan gave Sabrina a small, intelligent smile.
"No. I think he can. I just think he doesn't really want to."
A short silence fell upon them while her words sunk in. Leila jumped up.
"Well, at least give us the details! What was he wearing? Was he nervous? What did he smell like?" Leila asked, with an enthusiastic grin.
Sabrina rolled her eyes at the last question and dove into great detail about the proposal. Leila hung onto every word while Emaan listened with the same small smile on her face.
* * *
The sun shone merrily as Sabrina exited Capilano University to put their one hour lunch time to good use and head over to Tim Horton's. Her friends followed her and, as they left the brooding building behind, they made their way to Leila's new car. Leila, who was wearing an emerald green hijab which made her grey eyes outstandingly bright, was grinning in excitement.
"See, isn't she a beauty?" Leila purred, stroking her new Ford Fiesta.
It was metallic blue and shiny the way only new cars are. Sabrina smiled in approval and Emaan squealed, impatient to get inside.
"You are so lucky!" She was saying. "I can't wait until I get a car."
"Me either." Sabrina agreed. "I don't want my parents to buy it for me, though. I want to buy it, so it feels like its actually mine."
And also because her mom and dad worked and even though their jobs weren't that great, they had always given Sabrina whatever she had wanted. She felt like she should do something on her own now, instead of relying on her parents. She was even looking for a job to help pay off University fees and raise money for her own car.
"That's very independent of you." Emaan smiled.
They got in and drove to Tims, and talked about University and their futures. The conversation took a turn towards Hajj and all of a sudden the three girls were planning on going to Mecca after they graduated for University. Sabrina thought it would be be extremely meaningful if they were able to perform Hajj together, three friends worshipping their Lord in the utmost sincerity.
When they arrived at Tim Horton's, they decided to eat lunch inside and wandered in to get in place in long line of hungry people. They resumed their conversation, and were in the middle of discussing the requirements - such as mahrams - one had to ensure before committing such a journey, when Leila stopped abruptly and started slapping Sabrina on the arm in excitement. She was staring off into the front of the line and their was a huge grin on her face.
"Bri, look!" She whispered. "Its Khalid!"
Sabrina turned and there he was, engaged in a conversation with two of his friends. Sabrina couldn't help but notice that he looked quite handsome today, clad in a dark grey sweater and denim shorts. He's topped the look off with a red beanie and dark sunglasses. Sabrina found herself wondering if maybe he'd always dressed like that but that she'd never noticed until now. She shook her head and averted her gaze.
"You were totally staring." Leila pointed out, a smile stretching across her face.
"Was not." Sabrina lied.
"Uh huh. You so want to marry him." Leila teased.
"I'm still thinking about it." She reminded Leila with a pout, challenging her dancing eyes.
"Ooh, who's that guy with the beard standing beside him?" Emaan asked, interrupting Sabrina and Leila's intense staring contest.
Sabrina peeked a look again and saw Jamaal, a Pakistani boy, who had been in her math class back in New Hope. He looked like he always had, and he was wearing a light blue jubba and a white kufi. His beard, something which Sabrina had always found attractive, reached well past the neckline of his jubba. He was laughing at a joke that Khalid had cracked, flashing his straight teeth and dazzling smile.
"Isn't that Jamaal?" Leila asked. "Wasn't he in New Hope?"
"Yeah. He was in my math class." Sabrina confirmed.
"He has a nice face." Emaan sighed, dreamily, causing Leila and Sabrina to burst into laughter.
At that moment, Jamaal's eyes slid in their direction and Sabrina couldn't help but notice that they lingered on Emaan for a brief moment longer than necessary. They slid away, and Sabrina turned to Emaan to see if she had noticed, but the brown eyed Arab was staring at the floor. Sabrina suppressed a chuckle when she saw that Emaan was blushing and was just about to nudge her when she heard Khalid's voice.
She glanced back up to the front of the line and saw Khalid, his face twisted in disgust, yelling and pointing at the cashier. She couldn't make out his words but after a moment, the people around him quieted down, intrigued by his loud voice and Sabrina strained her ears.
"...gave him the wrong change just cause he's blind? That's low, man." Khalid was saying, while pointing at a frail man, wearing dark glasses who was standing beside him.
"I don't know what you're talking about." The cashier replied, his mouth a firm line.
"Oh, Im sure you don't." Khalid mocked. "You cheated him of five dollars!"
"No, I gave him his correct change." The cashier insisted.
"Correct change, my butt." Khalid sneered. "His change was fifteen dollars and you gave him two five dollar bills, probably thinking, 'oh he's blind, he wont know.'"
"I think you're mistaken, sir. His change was ten dollars." The cashier said, hesitantly.
"I know what I saw." Khalid pointed at a small screen that allowed customers to see their total change. "It was fifteen."
Except the blind man didn't know that. He couldn't see it. So the cashier could have easily lied and given him change that was less than the real amount. Understanding dawned on Sabrina and she felt her heart go out for that old blind man who was standing there, his face swiveling back and forth between Khalid and the cashier. She wondered if maybe this wasn't the first time he'd been cheated by a smug cashier who thought nothing of it to take advantage of his blindness.
"Perhaps you saw wrong, sir." The cashier seethed. "Now if you-"
"Oh, okay fine." Khalid said, throwing up his hands. "Let me speak to the manager then...Luke." Khalid added, leaning over to see the cashier's nametag.
Luke's face went pale. And that was when Sabrina knew he would mumble out an apology and hand over those last five bucks. No one messed with the manager. After an eternity of silence, Luke finally spluttered and opened his cash register. Khalid walked up, took the change and handed it to the blind man, shooting a look of contempt at Luke over his shoulder.
By now everyone was silent, the whole place watching and listening. Everyone saw the old blind man reach out and take his change. Everyone saw him smile up to where he thought Khalid's face was and say, "I may be blind but I sure am glad to see that the rest of the world isn't."
And at that, Jamaal clapped. And soon, everyone was applauding and shooting rude looks at Luke who found it the perfect moment to rush to the bathroom. People were clapping Khalid on the back and Sabrina saw him lean down and say something to the old, blind man. Sabrina smiled and clapped along with everyone else. Her friends beamed along with her as she watched Khalid with a thoughtful smile.
Maybe I was wrong. Maybe Khalid does want to change.
She'd finally seen it. That little glimpse of him that she'd always known was there, somewhere deep down inside him. And what a beautiful coincidence it was that she'd been there to witness it emerge. She hadn't noticed it until now, but there was something different about him these days. She couldn't place a finger on what exactly, but whatever it was it gave her hope.
* * *
Hmm? It seems that there's a chance for Khalid after all, no? What do you guys think? Oh and that's Khalid's outfit on the side ;)
Vote, comment, if you like! :)
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Kufi: small, rounded cap. (not obligatory in Islam)
Mecca: City in Saudi Arabia where Hajj is performed. Home of the Kaabah (the House of Allah.)
Hajj: pilgrimage to Mecca
mahram: someone you can't marry who is related to you. In other words: someone who you are forbidden to engage in sexual realtions with (like your father, brother, or uncle.) Your husband is considred a mahram (in a category called: mahrams by marriage.) It is required of women to have a mahram when they journey to Mecca.