" The six body guards of Janet McKinley's security team has recently been released from prison " were the words that fell out of his mouth.
Those words were enough to send my whole entire body into consternation.
My heart suddenly felt like it was in my ribcage. My throat felt like it would close in on me at any given moment and it seemed impossible for my mind to stop searching for a million and one possibilities of how in the hell that could even be true. They killed him and they killed men from our security team too. Men that didn't deserve to die.
Andreas Ricardo was the one who shot my brother.
Felipe Hundres, Tai lieu, Tyler Smith, Cesar Gomez, and David Willis were all standing beside him when he did it.
Our security team killed some of their people too but it was nothing compared to how many of our people they took out. This wasn't fair.
We hadn't heard anything about the people in our security team having even the possibility of getting out yet those fuckers were set free ?
Bullshit man I swear.
My mind just couldn't stop going into overdrive. I swear I hate people
My mother shook her head, denying the words my father had let leave his mouth and covered her mouth as the tears streamed down her face relentlessly.
My father held her as she cried.
They may not have been on good terms right now, and a lot of things had changed with my family but some things remained the same and always would.
I was his child and my mom used to be his wife. She carried two of his children and they had been married for 25 years.
I knew apart of him still loved her, and I also knew that despite all of the fucked up things he's done to us she he still held a place in her heart.
" How is that even possible? They murdered our family Fred !" She wailed as she rocked herself back in fourth, the tears continuing to fall.
I couldn't bring myself to cry. I don't think I had any tears left in me.
" Cause white people always get off easy. The judicial system sets niggas up to fail" my father grumbled as he held her tighter
The same white people he's always trying so impress ?
Fucking hypocrite
My mother said nothing, just continued to cry and hold my father tighter
I was so done with this.
I was tired of crying, I was tired of other people crying,and I was tired of people getting away with shit.
My father moved away from my mother slowly and cleared his throat as he stood tall.
" I heard from one of my business partners that miss Janet isn't too happy with me" my father started
I laughed and rolled my eyes
"And you care why ? Just add her to the list of the others" I stated,irritation lacing my voice
He eyed me, giving me a look that told me I better watch it but I didn't care
"Anyway. I heard she's been trying to hire people to hurt me and well.I just wanted to let you all know that she might send people after you too. I want you to be safe and to ensure that, I'm going to be leaving some of my guards here " he said.
His tone was cold and hard. He spoke to us as if this was some sort of business meeting instead of a warning. He didn't give a fuck about us. That was clear to me now more than ever.
Our lives were being threatened all because of him and he couldn't give a rats ass.
I looked at him dead pan
More bullshit
I swear,everytime I try to give the man props he gives me a new reason to not want anything to do with him
My mother stood quiet, eying him suspiciously
"Great. So the bitch has a problem with you and now we're all fucked" I stressed as I rolled my eyes my mom smacked me in the back of my head
" Zion Marie Rogers! Watch your damn mouth" she hissed
I put my head down, resisting the eye roll that was sure to come from me
" We are going to deal with this as a family" she announced with head held high as she wiped the tear stains from her eyes
I laughed.
This was pure comedy.
A Family? Family didn't even begin to describe what the hell we were.
We were all strangers to one another. No one knew anything about the other. The only thing that connected us was blood and that doesn't mean shit in terms of family.
" When have we ever been a family.We haven't even seen him in over a year and now all of a sudden we're a fucking family? Yeah right, please save that bullshit for someone else " I huffed
" You know what little girl. I've had just about enough of you! "My father hissed " I have tried to be patient with you but you are getting on my last damn nerve. Sit your little ass down and stay in a child's place. I am the parent not you "
I laughed so hard tears threatened to spill from my eyes.
Now that right there was rich.
" You haven't seen me in years.You don't talk to me . You don't spend time with me. Hell you don't even know the first thing about me and now all of a sudden you want to play the fucking parent role? Please get the fuck out of here with that shit! I don't need you! I never have. You've never done anything for me but make my life a living hell but you want to talk about how much of a fucking parent you are! You want to play parent role so bad then fucking act like it! " I yelled as I stood across from him! I was so mad I didn't know what to do.
I couldn't even think properly. My Brain was everywhere . I could feel my mother eyeing me from across the room.
I know she was mad about my word choose but I didn't care. I didn't care about anything in this moment.
My father said nothing . He looked at my mother with pleading eyes. He was trying to get her to help him find the right words but she said nothing . Just stared at him blankly .
" You really need to watch how you speak to me Zion. I am not your friend. " he said. His voice was void of any emotion. I could tell that I had hit a nerve but again, I didn't care. I was done worrying about how my father felt about anything.
" and you're not much of a father either" I huffed as I rolled my eyes at him and threw myself back onto the chair .
It hit me again just how alone me and my mother were in this situation.
"Welp mom, we're fucked " I confirmed more so with myself then her.
Soon as those words left my mouth I felt a hand whack me in the head .
" Watch your damn mouth! " my mother scowled
I rolled my eyes at her. I seriously don't know why she continues to pretend like everything is fine. She knows good and well that its not.
" Oh come on now, you know he doesn't care about anyone but himself " I stressed as I threw my hands up in defeat
" Zion that is enough!" My mother snapped but I was just getting started
"No ma, it's not. It's about time things started getting addressed around here. I don't even understand why he's here. He's the one who got us in this mess in the first place. He'll probably be happy if we died." I continue on my rant. I was angry. Pissed really
My mom shook her head " that's not true"
I couldn't believe the words that were coming from her mouth. There was no way she actually believed that bullshit right?
" You sure about that ? He sure as hell and wasn't sad when his son got shot right in front of his fucking eyes" I hissed
Lie, and I knew it was a lie but I never felt like it was completely true. He grieved in a different way and I knew that but I could never except the way he chose to deal with his problems.
I didn't want to be disrespectful but this topic was something I was willing to fight the world over.
I was mad at both of my parents. I was sick of them trying to hide things from me and pretending that things didn't happen. We were in deep shit and they both knew it so they really needed to cut the bullshit ass act that they had going on and face reality.
My eyes had flickered from my mom to my dad and I couldn't help but give him one of the deadliest glares I had ever given anyone in my entire life.
He stood quiet this entire time,never even trying to defend himself.
Each time I looked at my father I couldn't help but see the look on my brother's face when he was shot.
The way the life in him left his body.
I felt my heart break a little each time and I couldn't stop but wonder what life would be like if he was still here.
I felt a tear fall from my eyes but it only arose anger.
Anger at myself and anger at my parents.
The anger at myself was something that never went away.
Each time I thought of his death I always come to the conclusion that it was my fault. No matter which scenario I played out in my head it always ended in the same way. I was to blame for his death and I would forever have that thought in my head no matter who tried to convince me otherwise or how many times I tried to tell myself I wasn't.
I was so tired of taking my anger out on myself though.
I needed to take it out on someone other than me for once.
So I decided to take it out on none other than my dad
My dad was taller than me so I had to look up to him while I was talking but that didn't stop the words that were about to come out of my mouth
I looked him dead in the eye and spoke up.
"Why are you here ? We both know you don't care about us anymore. I mean it's not like you ever really did but you put up a good act for mom . It's just us now, nobody else. No actors,actresses, no big shot producers, no one that you have to pretend in front of. Just us. So why come here and tell us this and act like you actually care about anyone but yourself. You got us into all of this bullshit and now me and mom are absolutely fucked because you just don't know when it's time to call it quits. My brother was fucking killed because of the business that you're in. Don't you get that ?" I stressed and for the first time in my life it looked like my father might actually cry.
" And he was my son damn it ! You don't think I know this already Zion ? Well I do and I have to live with what happened every fucking day. I loved him more than you could ever know. I don't have to explain myself to you though " he snapped, his voice filled with hurt but I didn't care
I didn't want to hear this.
" You sure got a funny way of showing you love someone you know that ? Maybe if you actually spent some time with him and got to know him, you would have knew exactly how amazing he was. He was my best friend and he was definitely more of a father to me than you ever were. You didn't even shed a tear when he died. For fucks sake you walked around the house like it was Christmas morning every single day after he was dead.I remember when I was growing up you always told me that once you see a man cry, you really get to understand them as a person.I still got to see you for who you really were and I didn't even have to see you break down in order to do so. I never saw you cry, hell, you didn't even frown. You're wife on the other hand cried every single night and you would know that too if you had ever decided to come home at night instead of staying out until six in the morning with you're little whores. I was there. Every single fucking night that you weren't !"
This time, it was me who was on the bridge of tears.
" I was only fourteen. Fourteen year old's aren't supposed to have to stay awake each night with their parent making sure she's okay and then having to go back into her room just so that she can cry herself to sleep every night in silence because she didn't want to make her mom more upset than she already was. That was you're job ! You were supposed to be there, but you weren't and honestly I'd rather you not be here right now either. You weren't there when we actually needed you before so don't try to come around and pretend to be here now. We were doing just fine without you "I snapped,never taking my eyes away from his once.
I felt a tear involuntarily fall out of my eyes with almost every single word I spoke but I couldn't control it. I had held in my feelings about my brother's death since it happened. I never really ever talked to anyone about it.
I hated crying.
It made me feel weak.
Which is why I don't share my feelings with people but I guess this is what happens when you do.
I never would've figured that today would be the day that I did either.
He was mad and I could tell but I didn't care because I was mad too. I had been mad for so long and honestly it felt so good to let out everything that I had been holding in for so many years.
I guess you could say it made me feel a bit at piece.
His nostrils were flared and his jaw was clenched. His fists were balled and his leg had been tapping the floor uncontrollably the whole time I was talking.
He was mad and I was okay with that.
He looked me in the eyes and I looked back at him. He was challenging me but I didn't back down.
He raised his hand at me, as if to slap me and I wanted for the impact of the hit but it never came and my mother pushed him away forcefully.
" You are not going to hit her Fred. She's right and you know it" my mother protested, defending me
She grabbed me and wrapped me in her embrace and I couldn't help but cry. I let out all of my emotions as I sobbed onto her shirt. It felt like I had finally been freed .
I hadn't cried like that in years.
It's like I had became numb to everything.
I never thought that it would be possible to be so hurt that you can come to a point where you just feel numb.
Numb to everyone and everything .
_____________
Hiii babies. I really don't have much to say but I love all of you and I appreciate all the love you guys show and don't forget to vote and comment and I hope you guys liked this chapter 😊❤😜