You do wear makeup to work, you try to convince yourself.
You're not applying eyeliner and lipstick just because Jungkook is back.
Yes, you do wear it, you tell yourself, but do you always spend half an hour doing it?
Shut up, you reply.
You're ridiculously nervous just walking into the BigHit building.
Riding the same elevator you do every day, but somehow your knees feel wobbly.
You clutch your laptop bag tight, forcing your eyes straight ahead as you march into the office, refusing to glance around desperately.
All the office staff are huddled together, waiting for stragglers.
"We'll go down to the crew bus in two minutes!" shouts one of the managers.
Your phone vibrates.
You have a hunch who it is.
Looking around first to make sure no one is looking at you, you scan your fingerprint.
Good morning.
And you're right. It's Jungkook.
Morning, we are about to head over to the set.
Just got into our van, going straight to the set. See you there?
You smile as one of your coworkers waves at you.
"Hi," she says, weaving through the crowd.
"Hey!" you reply, giving her a quick hug.
"I heard the set is close by today!" she informs you.
"Phew!" You nod.
"Let's go to the head of the mob so we can get good seats on the bus," she winks.
You laugh and follow her.
The office staff begin to migrate downstairs in groups, eight to one elevator.
Everyone piles up by the buses, yelling hello to crew from other departments.
You've just boarded a bus and settled by a window when your phone buzzes.
See you there??
You lean your head back and sigh.
Yes.
The ride is pleasantly short, only fifteen minutes.
You all spill out into the parking lot, swarming toward the building.
You wave goodbye to the office staff and fall in with a hair stylist, knowing she's headed to the dressing rooms.
Bangtan should be about to start hair and makeup right now, which is your cue to go interview them.
You smooth down your shirt with your fingers.
Not nervous, you tell yourself. Just doing your job like always.
It's an ocean of buzzing humans in the building and you almost lose track of the woman that you're following.
Suddenly, you turn down a hallway with her and it's quiet.
She smiles at you, knowing you're tailing her, and holds open a backstage door for you.
"Thank you," you walk through.
And almost step on Jimin.
He's rehearsing something, a dance, you hope, gliding himself over the floor.
"Sorry!" he calls as you stumble over him.
"Sorry!" he immediately calls again as the hair stylist behind you dodges him narrowly too.
"You shouldn't be doing that by the door!" Jhope points at Jimin, frowning.
You laugh, already happy to be here.
"Noona!" Taehyung raises his arm and flat out yells at you.
"Hi Taehyung," you reply.
Your neck is rigid from the effort it takes to not look for Jungkook.
Taehyung is sitting on a sofa, barefaced, patting the seat beside him and gesturing at you.
You walk over, passing behind Jin, who nods at you through the mirror in front of him.
A makeup artist is already gliding a sponge over his temple.
Your keep your eyes looking dead ahead as you approach Taehyung.
He's already whispering at you as you near him.
"Don't look behind you, noona," he extends an arm as though to shield you.
"Why?" you whisper back.
"Jungkookie," he murmurs.
He looks pointedly into the corner to the left, behind you.
Then he makes a monster face and crawly hands.
Even though you're on edge, you burst out laughing at his expression.
He smiles too, but his eyes are still glancing behind you, skittish.
Oh boy.
You pull your tablet out and shove the rest of your bag under the sofa, sitting down beside Taehyung, purposely not looking anywhere else.
"I have some interview questions for you, can you answer a few since you're waiting?" You flip open the cover and open up a document.
"Okay," he nods.
"BTS has already filmed here last year. How you do feel being back? Are you excited?" you read off the list.
"Oh, yes," Taehyung says, "we think it would be fun to come back here every year. I really like the sets they make here. It's always very beautiful. And they always have the air conditioning up really strong," he laughs, shrinking into the sofa.
You smile and type it down.
As you type, your nerves calm.
Nothing makes you feel confident like doing what you're good at. What you've worked hard getting good at.
You finish with Taehyung after a few more questions, then move onto Jhope.
You ask Jhope the same things again.
You note everything down, but mark the interesting answers for publishing.
Then you thank him and turn around to the next person.
And suddenly, in your face, the next person is Jungkook.
He's sitting quietly in a chair, his eyes cast down, his hair half done.