- Jennie
What could be he doing right now?
I just left for the last nine hours...
"I hope you're not crying alone...it's much better if you're mad at me than devastated on your own."
I was walking through hallways in our comapny building.
Everyone's bowing as they saw me passing.
I could see my future here being the CEO...but I can't see my future marrying Eun Woo not Taehyung, and I can't predict having childrens with Eun Woo...
"You're here."
A happy man greeted me from the door of the conference room.
"I would like you to meet the heir of the company, our only child, Kim Jennie."
My dad introduces me.
I bowed blankly and seriously.
"Mm, yiu're daughter looks intimidating, Mr. Kim. That's going to be an asset, intimidating CEOs have the better standards."
One of the officers commented.
My dad smiled at him but I was just taking my seat beside Eun Woo.
"Annyeong."
Eun Woo whispered.
I looked at him and just stared at him for seconds.
He didn't bother asking nor reacting, he just smiled at me like he was a cute one.
"So, let the meeting start. I call the order for the meeting."
A moderator of the meeting started to introduce each one of the participants in the meeting...including me.
Whike they are discussing about the conpay sales ad more...
I was just staring at my ring...
Thingking about Taehyung...
"What are you doing right now?"
All I ever did was to stare at many things on the table. And after the meeting...
"Let's have a dinner, Mr. Kim."
Eun Woo's father invited us.
"Yeah, sure. Where should we go?"
My parents went to walk with Eun Woo's parents, so, Eun Woo took the chance to wakk with me.
"You're so quiet for this day...wae?"
He asked.
"Don't ask."
I answered lifting my face and looked straight at the path we are taking going to the car.
"Mm, you must be thinking about someone, don't you?"
He hummed and asked me.
I stopped as I heard his question...
I looked at him and glared.
"Okay, let's not talk about it."
He shooked his head a bit as he answered.
I rolled my eyes and turning to look at the opening door of the car.
"I have been pulled out for the whole collaboration..."
It really hits my mind.
I closed my eyes and leaned my head to the window glass of the car. Eun Woo was sitting beside me yet it doesn't bother me. I'm really a numb right now.
"Gwaenchanha?"
He asked holding my hand.
I definetly pushed his hand and nodded.
I heard he sighed after I removed his arm but I didn't bother regreting.
"Only Taehyung can hold my hand."
I want to ask if he's doing fine...
But maybe...he's mad...maybe he won't reply even if I call him through phone.
"We're done...mianhe."
A tear has escaped from my eye, I immediately wiped it as Eun Woo informed me that we are at the destination already.
He escorted me to go out of the car, he opened the door for me but I didn't thanked him.
"Taehyung might be suffering in lonliness right now...then Eun Wok doesn't deserve to be happy as well...me too...I don't deserve to be happy..."
We entered a restaurant, there's are parents talking and laughing.
Eun Woo greeted them happily while me?
I'm in the deepest seriousness of my mood.
"Jennie, dear, how are you?"
Eun Woo's mother asked smiling at me.
"I'm fine, thank you."
I bowed and din't asked about them.
"Why are you even asking if I'm fine? Do I look fine now?"
"So, let's have the contract signed?"
My mother suggested and invited...
I was....
I froze and I was surprised.
"What? Now?"
In shock, I asked without noticing.
They looked at me confused.
"A-ani...I mean, yeah. Now."
I excused and they all nodded and my parents took out the contract.
Should I tear the contract?
Should I walk out?
Should I tell them that I don't want to?
Should I spit the wine to the contract?
"I want to do something for this not to happen, really, but...if I did...Taehyung will..."
I sighed and stopped thinking about things.
I jist stared at the contract, our parenst have done signing it...
"We are official now, Jenjen."
He informed innocently smiling at me.
"Jen...jen?"
I asked.
"That's your nickname for me."
He replied pinching a bit of my cheek.
Time passes by...
We ate our diner and talked with each other. Honestly, I didn't speak any word even though they are asking me. I just nod or shook my head in response.
"This is so wrong...so wrong..."
The night was over.
Eun Woo drove me to home as our parents are still at the restaurant.
"You should take a rest."
Eun Wkk waved at me walking back to his car.
I stared at him blankly and seriously...
I didn't thanked him again...
He smiled and entered the car.
I entered the mansion wuthout waving back at Eun Woo and I don't feel guilty for it...I don' t love him.
As I entered the mansion, I don't feel home.
Servants and butkers are bowing at me and greeting me a good evening...
"There's no good in the evening..."
I wanted to answer but my mouth just kept on being close and quiet.
I opened the door to my room.
To thay room where only one bed was lying...only me who was sleeping...I wish to feel his arm again...
I took a shower and let my self get soaed on the cold water...I don't feel anything...everything is cold, anyway...
As I finished bathing, I put on a silk robe and lied on my bed...alone...
At moment, I stared at the ceiling...
It was glittery and shinning like starts as the shine of the moon strikes it.
"What could you have been doing right now?
I miss you already...
I'm lying in my bed right now...
I want to feel your kisses right now...
Your hugs...
Our cuddlings....
Our tickling moments...
Your wrapping arms around me...
You, saying saranghaeyo Jendeukie...
I want to here it from you again...
I want to feel your lips touching mine...
Your smile...
The way you tease me...
I want to cup your face with this cold weather..."
Just then, it started raining...
"Don't go out...don't get soaked...don't get sick...I'n not there to take care of you.
I wish to have nights with you again...
I'm sorry for leaving...
I'm sorry for having no proper good bye...
But it's better to leave while you don't know it than seeing you crying while i'm taking the path away to you..it hits me hard in heart seeing you crying...
I hope you're not crying right now...
Stay strong, Taehyung.
We are going ti see again...
We might not be a couple as we saw each other again but...at least friends? Go find someone who deserves you better than me...
Better than me...
The one that can fight with you...
The one that won't leave your side...
And that one who's going to love you more than I did and more than I showed. The perfect one, I guess."
I started crying...thingking of him...
I shrugged mysekf under the blanket...
I still can feel the cold breeze from the rainy weather. My balcony is open, I didn't close it...I want it this way...to die in hypothermia...I just want to die right now...
It's better to die than being with the person I don't love and leaving the person I love the most...
Take my life now...
"Why have I remembered everything when I was about to leave him after!?"
I cried silently in my room.
I gripped on the blanket and cried hardly.
I can feel my chest hardened as I breathe.
But I don't care...
I can't stop crying...
I think, this would last for days...
"Taehyung."