Got my heart in your hands
Like a time bomb ticking
It goes off, we start again
When it breaks we fix it
----Time Bomb, All Time Low
Cait sighed and pushed herself away from the door, leaning in to Grayson. "Yep. Just not exactly how I planned on telling anyone about us. If there is an us," she added the last part quietly.
Grayson turned her to face him, cupping her cheeks gently. He lowered his head and softly connected their lips. "There's definitely an 'us'," he whispered.
Cait leaned into him and he wrapped his arms around her again. Grayson looked down at her with a quizzical expression. "Did you not want anyone to know?"
"It's not that. It's just that I don't know what there is for anyone to know, y'know?" The words were muffled in to his chest and Cait could feel his laugh bubble up.
"I think I actually followed that, which scares me a little," he chuckled. He took her hand and pulled her to the couch, sitting down in the corner of the sectional and tucking her in beside him. He stretched his legs out as Cait leaned on him and stretched hers to rest on the coffee table. His shirt slid up slightly and Grayson got distracted. Finally, he huffed out a breath and grabbed the blanket from the back of the couch, tossing it over her. "I'm trying to focus here," he grumbled under his breath.
That made her smile. "Having a hard time?" She smirked at him.
"Knock. It. Off." He punctuated each word with a quick kiss. "I'm trying to have a serious conversation and you, you're -"
"Nice to know you haven't lost interest, yet." The words came out as a sigh and she tilted her head to look up at him.
Grayson wanted to tell her. He wanted to just say the words. But the last thing he wanted was for her to question whether he meant it or not. She deserved better than for him to blurt it out, sitting here half dressed. He'd almost said it a few times over the last few hours and he didn't ever want her to wonder whether he'd said it just to get, or keep, her in bed.
He took a deep breath, closed his eyes and plunged in. "The truth is, I've liked you for a really long time. I've wanted to be with you for a really long time. I just - I thought you needed some space. And I didn't know how you felt about me. I know we kinda put the cart before the horse tonight, but I'm not sorry. I- I care about you, Cait. And I want, I want a chance for us to have a, well, a relationship. I know you might not want that -" She silenced him, placing her hand over his mouth.
"Gray, I know I said I didn't want a relationship. I said it a lot. And I thought I meant it. But you changed my mind about that. I want to be with you. Tonight wouldn't have happened if I didn't want that." She smiled and he returned it.
Before he could lean in to kiss her, her eyes narrowed. "One question, how long?" She stared him down.
"Huh? Uh, well, I mean, pretty much since the day we met, if I'm being honest." His cheeks darkened a bit. "You were so hot, and so cute, sneering at me. And I got a great view of your ass when you walked away," he admitted wryly. "I even kinda liked fighting with you, because you never backed down. But I guess I really realized how I felt on my birthday."
She just stared at him, eyes wide. "What, uh, what are you thinking right now?" he asked.
Cait tossed the blanket aside and slid one toned leg over him, pulling herself up so she was straddling him. "I'm thinking," she whispered against his lips, "about how much time we've wasted."
*****
Matt drove back toward campus, doing his best to make placating noises while Luke melted down in the passenger seat.
"I mean, what the fuck can they possibly be thinking? They cannot be this irresponsible! They barely even like each other and they just jump in bed? He's got enough problems right now, he doesn't need her fucking with his mind." Luke slammed a fist on the arm rest.
"Not totally sure, but I suspect it's not his mind she's fucking with," Matt smirked slightly, trying get Luke to loosen up.
"You think this is funny?!? G has some major shit going on and she- she's -"
"She is exactly what he needs, Luke." Matt shot him a quick look. "Yeah, they're moving really fast, but consider who we're talkin' about here. G and Cait, they've only got one speed and it's all out. They're race cars without breaks, man."
Luke shot Matt a glare that would have made Cait proud. "They're my best friends. I would know if they were into each other. And I'm the one that's gonna have to clean up the mess when they crash."
*****
They were still stretched out on the couch, the blanket over both of them now, since the only two articles of clothing had been discarded to the floor. Cait snuggled in closer to Grayson's chest and he planted another kiss on her forehead.
"So, I gotta ask you something," he whispered. "Will you go out with me tomorrow night, like on a date?"
She giggled. "Talk about the cart before the horse." A small snort left her. But she tilted her head up to look at him with a soft smile. "Okay, but you should know that I've made it a policy never to put out on a first date."
He laughed, the dorky one that always made her smile. "I guess I'd better take you upstairs and have my way with you now, just in case I can't get you to change your policy in the next 24 hours."
*****
Cait woke in the wee hours of the morning, the sun just beginning to poke through the blinds. She was on her side and Grayson was spooned around her. His large hand rested on her stomach and she could hear his even breathing.
They were going to fuck this up. The thought hit her immediately. There was no way, no way, that the two of them could make this work.
They were two explosive personalities. Two weeks ago they had been screaming and swearing at each other in the middle of the gym. How could they possibly last? And how would she survive when they didn't?
A deep sigh left her.
"What's wrong, princess?" Grayson sounded groggy, his voice deep and rough.
"Ugh, please. My dad calls me 'princess' and so did Jake. You're going to have to come up with something else," she huffed out.
"Okay, pumpkin," he chuckled quietly.
"Gray, seriously, I'm not a form of squash."
"I'll keep working on it, honey."
"Nope, no honey. Honey is actually bee barf."
"Is this what's keeping you awake? My lack of a suitable endearment?" he questioned.
"No," she sighed again. "I'm scared." She rolled to face him and saw the concern on his features. "We're gonna fuck this up, you know that, right? I mean, most days we can barely have a civil conversation. There's just no way that we aren't going to get mad at each other and say stupid shit."
Grayson swallowed hard. She made a decent point, but he wasn't about to give up. "So, let's make a deal, right now. Even when we get mad, we wait until we calm down and we work it out. You're right, we're gonna have arguments. It's just who we are. But it also means that we can be honest with each other, not pretend that things are okay when they aren't. I - I need you, Cait. So we're just gonna have to accept that when we argue, it doesn't mean that we're over. It means we regroup and figure out a way to solve our problems. Deal?"
"You make it sound simple," she said softly.
"It is. It might not always be easy, but it doesn't need to be complicated. It breaks, we fix it."
"I always knew you were the smart one," she murmured. "And I need you too. You've got a deal, Allen. Now, if only there were some way we could seal this deal . . ." she trailed off, her hand running down his chest.
*****
Grayson made his way into the locker room, having dropped Cait in the weight room with a lingering kiss. She had finally shoved him away and reminded him that he had practice and that she would see him later.
He found Luke sitting next to his locker and gave him a grin as he started changing into his practice uniform.
"G, we gotta talk, man. What the hell are you think-"
Luke was cut off by a loud whistle from the other side of the room.
"Holy shit, G," Harry exclaimed. "What happened to your back?"
Chase, Javin and J-Rob immediately burst into giggles, while Brennan slammed his hand against a locker and stormed out.
Grayson flushed but flashed his dorky grin. "I guess my kitten has claws," he responded.
That got a loud laugh from most of the occupants of the room, but Luke just narrowed his eyes and followed Brennan out the door.