All praise is due to Allah. May Allah’s peace and blessings be upon the one after whom there is no other prophet.
As a seventeen year old, I came across a book called, ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People’ by Dale Carnegie, which I found to be quite excellent and which I subsequently read several times. The author suggested that one should read the book once a month, which is exactly what I did. I began to apply its principles when dealing with others and witnessed amazing results.
Carnegie would often mention a principle and then cite various examples of this by way of incidents related to prominent figures, such as Roosevelt, Lincoln, Joseph, and so on.
I contemplated and realised that the author’s only goal was to attain worldly happiness. What if he were to have known Islam and the etiquettes it teaches? He would surely have achieved eternal as well as ephemeral happiness! How about if he were to have turned his wonderful interpersonal skills into worship, with which he would have drawn closer to Allah? When I later discovered that Carnegie had committed suicide, I knew for certain that his book, despite its merits, had not benefitted him.
I then began to search our own history and discovered that the life of Allah’s Messenger PBUH, his Companions, and anecdotes of some of the prominent men of this ummah are more than enough for us to learn lessons from. From then on, I began to author this book concerning the art of dealing with others. Hence, this book is not the product of a month or a year’s toil. Rather, it is the result of twenty years of serious study.
Although Allah has blessed me with the ability to have produced twenty books so far, some of which have been printed in their millions, I nevertheless believe that the most beloved, precious and beneficial of all of them to me is this book, which I wrote with ink blended with my blood; I poured out my soul and squeezed out my memories as I wrote these lines.
I have written these words from the very depths of my heart so it may penetrate the heart of the reader, and would be delighted to learn that he or she has indeed implemented its teachings, experienced an improvement in his or her skills, and therefore actually began enjoying life. If he or she were to then thankfully write a message expressing his or her views and feelings honestly and send it to me via email or SMS, I would be grateful for this kindness and remember to pray for him or her in their absence.
I pray to Allah that the reader benefits from these pages, and that He makes my efforts purely for His sake.
Written by the one who is always praying for what is best for you.
Dr. Muhammad bin ‘Abd al-Rahman al-‘Arifi