1) May your life be as great as you pretend it is on Facebook.
2) I don’t make mistakes I date them.
3) I would tell you to go fuck yourself but I’m pretty sure you’d be disappointed.
4) My knight in shining armour turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.
5) Why is it acceptable for you to be an idiot but not for me to point it out?
6) I’m sorry, but I don't remember ordering a glass of your opinion.
7) Before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean.
8) You would be much more likeable if it wasn’t for that hole in your face that noise comes out of.
9) Is your drama going to have an intermission soon?
10) Those penis enlargement pills are working. You're twice the dick you were yesterday.