The soft tap of my shoes hitting the pavement, left right, left right, are the only sounds I allow my ears to take in. I focus on just that sound. Left right, tap tap. Staring down at my worn-out sneakers, eyes following each step, the ground sweeping past, I don't even look up to see where I am going, I just go.
I let a slow, shaky breath escape my tense body.
I can do this. It's okay. Just don't think about where you are. Don't ponder on the fact that you are alone, truly alone, for the first time in your life. No need to contemplate on just how many hours away by plane you are from home... was it 11? No—as long as I keep my eyes on my feet, as long as I let these two appendages do what they do best, I can imagine that I'm anywhere. Even in my roo—
My last thought forcefully hits a mental and physical wall. An older lady yells at me, but God only knows what she's saying to me. This snaps me back into the reality I did not want to face.
Here I am, frozen in place on a busy sidewalk, compacted buildings surrounding me on every side, noisy cars frantically trying to swerve through traffic, people all around me speaking in a tongue that I cannot begin to understand.
I'm here. Far away from what I've called home for 20 years.
I'm here.
In Seoul.
. . .
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Love,
Sooaura