Chapter 4
Avery's P. O. V.
There's memories I keep thinking about. Memories where I wish I could go back and just relive them. The memories are simple and I just want to feel that moment and experience again. There's some memories that I find myself always thinking back to. Memories I wouldn't trade for anything. That moment or that feeling of living and I know that moment will turn into a memory that I will never let go of.
To the trips to the beach and the salty air and the salty taste of the ocean. The drive there and the drive back. Those moments are simple and divine. I would give anything to just go back and just appreciate that moment more. But I can't and I just keep thinking about it. It's very painful and I can't bring myself to cry.
I look back at the ocean view and at the tulips I had placed on the balcony rail. Those bring back a lot and I realize that I can't enjoy those flowers anymore. But, Summer gave those to me and without realizing it, those tulips mean a lot now. She handed them to me and I melted inside. The gesture was simple and had no real meaning, but the tulips themselves were thoughtful.
I remember when her eyes had brighten up and I couldn't say no. Those light brown eyes beamed brightly at me and I again forgot that we were standing less than 5 feet from my parents bodies. Her smile had widen and her eyes crinkled a little, the smile genuine.
A soft breeze whisked by my face and I inhaled deeply. The scent of salt and ocean invading my senses. Looking toward the horizon, I can easily confirm that it's still morning. The sun is still rising and is not at it's highest point yet. The sky is a mixtures of oranges and yellows and the ocean is gleaming and the sun's reflection is slightly distorted. But the sound of the ocean hitting the rocks below and the sound of the wind made me forget about the sadness lurking deep inside my mind.
Right now, I can easily compare the warmth and the calmness of the sun to Summer's eyes. That's how they made me feel. Like how you would lay down on the hot sand after you swan in the ocean. The sun beating down on you, but it feels so good. You can smell the lingering scent of sunscreen and your skin is kinda mucky from the water, but it feels good. Summer's eyes reminded me of those days lounging on the beach, the warmth and the thoughts it brings.
Summer's P. O. V.
It's been days since I last swan. I usually swim when I'm really stressed to. It's relaxes me and I can think clearly. The weather is ideal and the sun is out and I know it's gonna be hot today. So I decide that I'm gonna swim.
I open the sliding doors that lead to the pool. I step outside and stride toward the pool. My backyard is relatively big and my parents had remodeled the pool recently. It's longer in length and somewhat skinnier in width. I step onto the diving board and adjust my goggles. Testing the diving board, I finally dived in. The water rushed smoothly along my skin and I formed a straight streamline and held my breath as long as I could. Once I broke into my strokes, my swimming became thorough and strong. I counted: one, two, three, and breath. And I repeated that process.
The smell of the chlorine is all to familiar and it feels great. The feeling of the water on overheated skin and the feeling of how my muscles work when I drive my hands into the water and push myself forward. My face is down and and I can see the sun's rays penetrate through the chlorine. I see the water's reflection on the bottom of the pool and I can see the bubbles and ripples my arms make when they enter the water.
Once I feel the burn in my arms and legs, I exit the pool and grab my towel from the lounge chair on the deck. Wiping the towel over my face and uniting my hair and ruffling it dry. I glance up and stare longingly at my parents' balcony. Two chairs face the view and those two chairs are now empty.
From the rumors I'd use to hear at school were never true. Both of my parents' worked for the same business company and yea they both flew out of town a lot. But it was convenient for them. Plus it never bothered me, whatever paid for the bills and put food on table, I was totally fine. And when they were home, they'd treated me like any other parent would treat their kid. They made up for miss time and say sorry and spoil me endlessly.
Just I walked into the house, my cell started to buzz and I grabbed it off the counter. But I only got a text and it's from my mom.
Mom: Keep the house clean and make sure to water my plants. You might also need to pull some weeds out, the gardener took a vacation and I don't trust anyone else with the garden.
Summer: Really?
Mom: Yes! You're the only one home anyways.
I dropped my cell back on the counter and moved toward the stairs. Ruffling my hair dry some more and I moved slowly to the bathroom.
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Those hauntingly familiar cemetery gates came into view as I followed a line of cars entering the cemetery. The cars in front of me dispersed as we all had the same thought: to find parking. Every parking spot seemed to be filled and the end is coming more near. Luckily, I found, like, thee last parking spot and parked my car. I quickly checked my reflection on the mirror above me, tweaking any last minute make up. My hair is pulled back, held together by a gold bow placed on the back of my head and I had settled for light make-up. Again, I didn't know what to wear, so I borrowed a dark blue dress from my mom's closet.
I grasped the door handle and pulled myself out of my car. Glancing forward, I saw groups of people in suits and dresses heading straight toward the grave stones. I followed suit and I saw a group forming around a grave stone that looked like a family grave site. Rows of chairs are set up around the coffin and friends, family, and colleagues were seating themselves down and patiently waiting for the ceremony to begin. I found a seat in the second row and I sat in the corner and I have a perfect angle of the coffins. Looking around me, I can hear several people speaking softly and a few crying gently.
I can perfectly see Avery from where I'm sitting. On the other side, that area is mostly reserved for close friends and family. Her grand parents are seated next to her and I can hear her grandma crying...loudly. Avery just sat there, still as ever, but she's still breathing, her hands placed on her lap and her eyes staring at her hand. The sad part is that she looked pretty today. Even if she's wearing a fitted back dress, Avery just looked good.
Silently, a group of men, who probably worked here, started to lower the coffins. Avery finally looked up and watched as her parents were meeting their final resting place. I looked at her face intently, her face is a stoic mask, but I can see the pain starting to stir in her eyes. Avery than stood up, a few flowers were gripped tightly between her fingers. She dropped them onto the lowering coffins and she sat back down. Others followed suit and I apprehensively stood up and dropped a rose into the deep hole and moved away.
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Immediately after the funeral, everyone else went to Avery's house for the reception. I had followed behind Emma and I had parked my car relatively near the house. The house is modern styled, boxy looking, and many windows littered the length and width of the house. I could practically see to the back of the house, a pool and a view of the ocean. The front door is already open and I just walked right in. Looking around, I noted that many people took advantage of no supervision snooping around.
It's barely 7:00pm and people are already getting drunk and rowdy. I shoved myself pass groups of people and strolled outside. No one's outside and the evening air is comfortable and warm. There's a deck placed at the edge of the yard, facing the view, and lounge chairs are facing in that direction. Walking around the pool and I sat down on one of the lounge chairs. The chair is reclined lowly and I stretch out my legs and kick off my high heels.
"Comfortable?" a recognizable voice commented from next to me.
I winced and peeked in her direction, "hey..." I replied in an awkwardly high pitched voice.
"It's fine," she answered.
"I'll leave..." I started to say and leaned forward.
"You're fine," she concluded and glanced at me.
"Avery, if you need to be alone, I'll leave," I assured her and slipped my high heels back on.
Avery reached over and forcibly grabbed my arm, "just stay," she croaked.
Nodding my head in response and Avery let go of my arm and looked forward. I leaned back into the chair and kicked my high heels off again. A warm breeze blowing in our direction, blowing my hair gently and caressing my exposed skin. Lifting my arm up and reaching behind my head and unclasping the hair clip. My bangs tumbling free and brushing against my forehead and eyes. I brushed my bangs aside and dropped my head against the chair and closed my eyes.
"You came," Avery said in surprise and out of no where.
Opening my eyes, "it's the least I could do, " I implied and averted my eyes to her face.
Avery's already staring at me, a small smile playing on her lips, "you're too considerate," she admitted.
I shrugged, "I just am, I guess. But I like doing good things to good people," I speculated and furrowed my eyebrows in thought.
"You don't even know me either," she added and rolled her head to look up at the sky.
Avery's P. O. V.
Summer glanced at me after I said that, a smile on her lips and her eyes beaming with an unknown humility and understanding. Those eyes were patient and Summer just calmly sat there and smiled softly.
"That's alright," she says.
And I wonder why she has said that so many times and how many people she has said that to. Her temperament is too long, her eyes too calm, and her voice is too soft and relaxing.
"So why are you even bothering to deal with me," I whined, "you are probably the only person who has shown any remote patience toward my grieving!"
Summer flinched, "I just am, there's really no reason behind it," she mumbled softly and stared at the view.
I looked forward, staring wide eyed at the ocean and a warm feeling started to rush inside me. I don't feel alone, I just feel lost and confused. Not having my parents in my life...kinda...made me lose my drive for anything. Clenching the fabric of the chair tightly, I could finally feel the burn and warmth of tears falling down my cheeks.
A sob escaped my mouth and my shoulders dropped. The thought and the realization of them gone...it just tears me apart. My chest tighten and my body shook continuously.
Those memories are gone, there is no joy in those moments anymore. They are no longer divine and simple, but simply a burden to carry with me. A burden of pain that I will eventually have to grasp and accept. But I...I...can't. And no matter how much suffering I went through, I still won't let go of those memories.
Suddenly, I felt a hand grip my, tight and firm. Looking up, Summer's warm eyes were staring right at me. Warm, inviting, and comforting like the sun.
"Whatever helps," she answers awkwardly, but her intentions are genuine and from the heart.
I grasp her hand tightly, intertwining our fingers together. Her palms are warm and kinda sweaty, but the contact and the reason behind the contact gave me goose bumps. I felt her thumb brush across the palm of my hand and I dropped my gaze to out hands. Our arms then brushed against each other. Her skin is warm and soft.
Summer then pulled her hand away and stood up and I could faintly see a blush on her cheeks.
"I have to go, but if you need me-"
I waved my hand, "no, but thanks. Seriously I couldn't have asked for better support from anyone," I thanked and wiping my hand across my eyes.
Summer smiled softly and her eyes crinkled, like how they normally would, "it's fine, as long as you feel better," she replied.
"You're to nice," I joked and leaned back on the palm of my hands.
She shrugged,"I like being nice," she said sheepishly.
I, again, glanced at the setting sun, a soft breeze whisked by and brushed smoothly against my skin.
"It's a great view," Summer chimed thoughtfully.
"Well, it's the reason why my parents brought the house," I explained and my chest tighten slightly.
"Avery," Summer called out and I looked up at her.
"Well," she started to say, "here's my number," she handed me a business card with her number and email.
Curiously I turned the business card around, examining it.
'Stanford & St. Clair Paralegal Firm
Summer Luka
(310)123-7894'
"You've worked for a law firm?" I asked curiously.
"I was, but I only interned for a few months, besides, I'm not an aspiring lawyer," she explained.
I then gripped the card into my hand,"I'll call you...when I can," I said.
"Awesome. Well, you don't have to, but if you need anyone to talk to," she mumbled and pursed her lips.
I nodded my hand in understanding and she smiled widely before walking away.