It was drizzling but, it was different today. The sky was dark grey with clouds overhead and it looked like they were crying with me in my sorrow, and my sorrow was a sadness that was crying for me. The pain I felt made my heart break into millions of pieces everytime his name rolled off my tongue. It was as if my tears painted the canvas into different shades of sorrow. Of losing him...
I sighed loudly, feeling helpless.
Four days...
It has been four days since he left without explanation, with hatred and rejection for me in his eyes. Four days without knowing where he was, or how he was. Four days of losing myself. I know, four days doesn't sound too long, but with him gone, these four days felt like four eternities to me. That's what he did to me. I missed him terribly.
Even my tears had dried up now. I didn't cry anymore since the day he left, after the nightmare. I tried cutting out the feeling, the attachments, but truly I was numb. Numb and empty, hollow. Damon took a piece of me with him when he left.
My heart.
I did not feel anything as the numbness engulfed me, stretching its unwelcomed arms wide open. Well, anything except loneliness, a feeling I hated so much. I was alone ever since my parents died, not letting anyone else to break down my walls but Damon did. And with him gone, the alone changed to loneliness.
Everything here was a reminder of him, of us. The halls, the rooms, and even the paintings and portraits. They reminded me of him and that's what hurt me the most. I had no idea when he'll return, if he ever did. He looked so indifferent back then. Just a few hours ago we were together, so much in love but no good thing lasts till the end.
Maybe, it really was my fault, I thought. If Xander wasn't there to haunt and ruin my life then we would have been together at this very moment. But then again, if Xander was not there to take me on the first place, I would have never met Damon.
My Damon.
It was my fault he left. I was the one to be blamed. And I was guilty, I wanted to pay.
Or maybe, I never deserved his love.
I sighed again and looked at the windows. A strong gust of wind was blowing outside, making the windows rattle. I tore my eyes away from the windows, the rain increased it pace, it was pouring now.
I went near the paintings he made, of the girl. He made them so good, something that was the perfect example perfection. But, who is she, was a question that was still to be answered. She did look like me upto some extent, with the same long wavy brown hair and the blue eyes, with love in them. But that wasn't me, I was sure. Damon and I never met before.
"Old love, could be...", I muttered. But, my chest tightened on that thought and I started wanting him more, needing him next to me. Four days didn't make me missing him any less, and if something, it only increased. My hope was dying down and an unnoticed tear escaped my eye when I thought back to the evening he asked me to be his by the river. Little did I knew, I was always his. My visions showed me him. Damon.
I smiled sadly, thinking of our first kiss. The passion, the need, the hunger. More importantly, the love. And, how good it felt to be in his arms, curled up next to him. Good memories.
My stomach grumbled. No, I wasn't hungry, my appetite was long gone but I had to eat to survive.
I walked up to the kitchen that was so perfectly set. The first night I came here, both of us were strangers but there was something in him that was calling out to me. He made me noodles that night. He was embarrassed that he couldn't give me something better but to me, they tasted so damn good. I smiled at the memory and decided to make pasta. It was the easiest I could do. I turned on the oven and put the water in a bowl, keeping it on the oven to let it boil.
Thud. Thud. Thud.
I heard a noise and looked around. But, no one was here except me.
"Maybe I imagined it, whatever", I muttered. Talking to my own self was becoming a habit lately.
Thud!
There it was again. I was sure I heard something and it sounded pretty much like something was banging the door, the back door precisely. I made my mind up and grew guts, deciding to check. I took a kitchen knife with me, hiding it behind my back. Safe was always better than sorry. I knocked on the door from inside and it replied me by banging again.
I opened the door, just a crack and checked but no one was there.
"Oh God", I groaned, irritated with myself. "What's happening to me. I'm going psycho. Now I'm hearing things, ugh!"
But then, I got a furry, soft and warm feeling on my foot.
"Meow", it said, rubbing itself against my foot and looked up at me with its big green eyes. It was a cat, a black cat.
"Aww", I said looking at it and bent down to pet it. The cat was so soft and started cuddling with my hand and meowed. I scratched its back, smiling. "You little thing, you scared me to death and made me think I'm going psycho."
It looked up at me with big intelligent eyes, meowing again.
"I'll name you Kitty", I said and patted its back softly. The name was so much obvious for a cat, but it suited. Kitty was a adorable little fur ball with its black, silky fur, but it was wet from the rain outside. I shut the door. "You want milk, Kitty?", I asked, knowing it couldn't understand me. I smiled again and brought a bowl of milk and gave it to Kitty and it started drinking it, slowly. My tummy growled again.
"I think I need something too, don't I?"
Just then, it felt it. Again. My toes started tingling and the tingles travelled up my body. These days I was so used to this, that it didn't bother me anymore, but I frozen on my spot.
"What is it, Xander? What do you want? Can't you fucking leave me alone to let me in peace?", I shouted at him in my head. I was irritated with him invading my mind every now and then. And this increased since the forest incident, after he found me, though he never came to me.
He chuckled darkly. "Sure, sure, my love. Just wanted to check out how you are. I don't want my pretty little wife to die now, do I?" He chuckled again.
I hated his voice. But it was familiar now. "Go away."
"Aww, my Eva. You are still not over your love for that Dumbo. Are you? Hm. But you will be. You'll come to me, Eva. I know you will, my darling", said Xander, rather cheerfully, faking sweetness.
"Just go", I sneered at him.
"Uh huh. We'll meet soon, love", he said and his voice faded away.
"God", I moaned. I was tired of this. I was tired of hearing Xander over and over again, when I wanted it to be Damon instead. I felt weak and sat down on the floor, my hunger was gone. "We'll meet soon, love." His words rang in my head. I decided to forget about it, letting it go from my mind and gave my attention back to Kitty, but Kitty was gone by the time I looked at it. Vanished, like it never came.
******
It was nearly midnight. The heavy downpour ceased to a soft drizzle again.
Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap...
The rain drops were hitting the window glass in a rhythmic pattern.
Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.
I was wide awake and was sitting by the window, looking outside. It was becoming a habit of mine after Damon left. I always sat by the window and looked through it till late night with just one hope, seeing him. The raindrops were sticking together and sliding down the glass as they got heavier.
"I wish you were here with me right now", I whispered and closed my eyes, touching my forehead against the cold glass. I tried imagining the glass as Damon's cool skin, but this, it was too cold and chilly. The room was dark as all the lights were turned off. The only light entering the room was the one coming from the window.
I sighed, thinking about Damon and the time we spent together. The kisses we shared and the words we said, and the way he said me "I love you" thinking I was asleep.
I opened my eyes and touched the window pane. "Where are you, Damon? Where are you when I need you the most? Where are you when I wish you here with me right now? Loving me. Holding me. I miss you, Damon. I- I love.. you."
"Are you talking about me, sweetheart?", I heard Damon's voice in the dark. A voice that made angels ashamed of their songs, a voice so sweet and yet so seductive. Velvety. A voice that I missed so much these few days. I turned to look at the direction the voice came from.
"Be careful what you wish for, Eva."
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Helloo! So here's the latest update ❤️
Sorry for being late, my exams are sucking the life out of me 😁
So tell me, how is this? Do you like it, my darlings? ;)
Vote and comment if you liked this
Lots of love, readers ..
~Rose~