Most people know Kiba as a self-confident prick. The sheer idea of him being unsure about anything or overthinking something is incomprehensible. However, no one really knows him. Not really. They never did see the real him. Kiba had been hiding behind a mask for so long, no one ever saw him for who he was.
Hell, even Kiba himself often forgot who he was on the inside.
Why would such a thing happen? Well, it goes way back. Into a time that Kiba himself could barely recall...
Kiba was born a member of the Inuzuka clan. His mother, Tsume, was the clan head. He also had an older sister, Hana. The Inuzuka clan was known for the members' cooperation with their nin dogs and excellent dog-like senses. However, they were also famous for their brash attitude and loud personality.
Kiba's father was an average jōnin who fell for Tsume due to her loyal nature and the sense of humour they shared. They were happy and had two children together. At first, as is the case with all married couples, they were all sweet and loving.
However, upon the arrival of their first child, Tsume began to show more of her wild personality. Her husband, initially, did not mind that much, only chiding his wife when he found her too hard on their daughter. She normally let her anger recede and let her child off, the girl not minding that she was treated that way by her mother. She did, after all, act the same way most of the time.
After the arrival of their second child, Tsume started to become more stressed with taking care of her clan duties as well as her two children. She was also part of the shinobi council and thus had to participate in many council meetings. She began to become more easily annoyed and impatient with the children.
Her husband did try to cool her down and stop her from yelling at their children, however, this did not work long. Four-year-old Kiba, thinking that his father would be able to save him once more, played a prank on Tsume, unintentionally messing up a stack of paperwork that she had taken the whole day to sort through. Instead of apologising, he had giggled and run away to hide in the kennel, only further fueling his mother's rage when she found herself unable to find the culprit.
His father tried to convince Tsume that Kiba was only having fun and did not intend to mess up her work. In her anger, she lashed out at him and yelled a whole lot of profanities at her husband. He was shocked and had run away right after she finally ended her rant, filing divorce papers on the very next day and fleeing Konoha in fear of the she-demon's wrath. Kiba, seeing how his great unshakeable father run off in fear of his mother, began to blame himself for causing his mother to scare off his father.
This guilt was only further intensified when Tsume had stayed locked up in her room, ditching her shinobi duties for the following week. He heard her crying. She blamed him for upsetting her when she was already stressed.
This was when he lost all of his self-confidence.
When his mother finally left her room and resumed her duties, he stayed out of the way. When he was personally taught by his mother, he tried his best, though he did not have faith in himself to be able to do as his mother instructed. Tsume, however, did not see that. She saw that he was not trying hard enough and needed more encouragement.
She was not wrong, of course, for the young Inuzuka was so unsure of his abilities that he did not know that he was not trying his best. However, she failed to notice that the boy did not know what he was to do. Tsume proceeded to scold the boy for not doing his best and started to compare him to his sister, who was a girl and supposed to be of the weaker category as believed by society.
Instead of providing Kiba with the incentive to try harder, it had the opposite effect. He began to skip out on training and hide while his mother stomped about in search of the terrified boy. While that was indeed what he did, he focused on studying what he could. Kiba sneakily stole books and scrolls from the clan library and studied in a hidden basement that no one else in the clan knew existed. It was packed with numerous books and scrolls that were of a language lost to age and time and was very dusty. However, there were still empty shelves for him to place the books that he was working on and a big study table for him to not down his notes.
Kiba went into the town to purchase many different notebooks and proceeded to study the history of the elemental nations, the history of the Inuzuka clan, jutsu and any other thing he managed to find. However, Kiba did not manage to build up the confidence to actually try out the jutsu he studied. He only worked out battle strategies and noted down the execution of the jutsu and how they can be used in battle. He also accounted for all the weaknesses and how they could be covered up or how they would influence the fighting style. Instead of using his instinct, as most Inuzuka did, he chose to learn how to fight by using his head.
At some point, Kiba came across several books about chakra control. He read about how chakra control is essential to every shinobi and what feats it could allow a shinobi to accomplish. He was amazed. People can walk up walls, walk on water, stand on sharp objects without being pierced and even move objects with just chakra alone!
Kiba decided to try out the exercises starting with the most basic of them, the leaf exercise. It involves using chakra to attach a leaf to the forehead without letting it fall off. Kiba tried it many times to no avail. He always either used too much chakra -- causing it to fly off or too little -- which would cause it to fall off. He worked at it all day but was unsuccessful in doing it despite exhausting his chakra.
Kiba went up the hidden stairway and out into an empty square room. He did not bother to look at where he was going, so used to the route he took that he did not need to think about where he needed to go. He placed his hand on a seemingly normal part of the wall of one of the sides of the room, causing a door to slide open for him to pass through. Once on the other side, the door slid shut while leaving no trace that it had ever existed. He continued to walk until he found himself at what seemed to be another dead-end, not even looking up as he pulled a candle holder attached to the wall down. This was a lever that caused a semicircular portion of the floor to rotate such that Kiba was left in yet another long corridor.
This one branched in two directions and had an unseen wind blowing away all traces of the scents of people who have passed the passageway through vents near the ceiling. Kiba turned right and continued walking until he was in front of another "dead-end". He touched what was approximately the centre of the circular pattern and pulsed chakra through it. The circle glowed and another door opened up to his left. Kiba entered and was not shocked when the door also closed soundlessly behind him, climbing up another flight of stairs and stopping at where it seemed to end.
Kiba pushed the "wall" outward before dragging it to the right using the handhold in the middle of the door (it looked like a crack) and pushed aside a perpetually dusty tapestry, revealing rows upon rows of dusty bookshelves. Kiba was in a forgotten section of the Inuzuka clan library, known to him as the entrance to his study room. Kiba walked through the dank hall, undeterred by the tall shelves that seemed as though they might collapse on him at any moment and pushed aside another tapestry at the other end of the library after taking a book from the bookshelf beside the tapestry. It revealed a dimly lit part of the newer Inuzuka clan library.
From what Kiba knew, the forgotten library contained the darker secrets of his clan as well as numerous kinjutsu. That was why it was hidden, no one knowing that it existed. Kiba had found it by chance when he was going through books in the library, suddenly seeing a book that seemed to call to him and removing it from its shelf. Needless to say, Kiba was shocked when a part in the wall broke from the rest and opened up to a dusty library that looked sadly forgotten. He had entered, only to find more of these strange entrances that eventually brought him to his current study room. Kiba knew that it had been sealed off for a reason, however, the way it called to him made the boy unable to resist the urge to explore the place. He had, at first, been reluctant to enter the ancient library. However, he soon found out that even though the shelves looked like they would collapse at any moment, they were much sturdier than even the newest bookshelves in the clan library.
Kiba used a passage that lead directly to the main house and went straight to the dining room upon getting there. He was not dirty at all as the dust all over the particular part of the Inuzuka clan library was a genjutsu to deter people while there were seals, he presumed, that kept the place perfectly clean (there have been ghost stories and children dared each other to steal a book from the place or leave one on one of the shelves there, though none would enter and either chickened out or taken a book from another place). The sad state of the forgotten library was also a strong genjutsu, as he only realised when he found that even though he glimpsed dust, he could not touch it.
Kiba did consider telling his sister, Hana, about this place. Despite that, he knew that she would tell on him when their mother asked her if she had seen him.
Kiba sat down at his usual seat, greeting his sister and mother half-heartedly as he eyed the empty seat where his father used to sit at. Kiba still had not gotten over his father's departure. Although both Tsume and Hana had reassured him that he was not at fault, he still blamed himself.
"Kiba! Where had you been?!" Tsume hollered at the boy.
"I was studying...in the library," Kiba muttered.
"Lies! Why do you look so exhausted from studying? Don't you dare try to lie to me! Tell me the truth!" Tsume yelled in outrage.
"Fine, I was training!" Kiba yelled back, fighting the urge to cry and feeling his heart speed up in his chest at his mother's accusation.
"Training? Then why couldn't you train with me? I told you we had training this afternoon," Tsume shouted back, sounding hurt.
Kiba bit his lip, regretting making his mother sad. He did not want to upset his mother but felt as though she would have been disappointed in him even if he went. Kiba also knew that his chakra exhaustion was only because his reserves were not big enough and made a mental note to study how to expand chakra reserves later on.
"I'm sorry, kaa-san. I let you down," Kiba apologised, bowing his head slightly such that his hair shadowed his eyes and hid the tears that had started welling up.
Tsume sighed, rubbing her temples, "Go to your room. Let me tell you: You are not the most proficient in the shinobi arts. If you keep skipping out on training like this, you will never grow stronger."
Kiba flinched at his mother's harsh words and tired tone. He felt as though he had done something very wrong by upsetting his mother. He felt like he did not even deserve to live. All he did was upset his mother by being there. If not for him, his parents would still be together even now.
Kiba nodded quickly and fled to his room, locking the door behind him as his legs gave out under him.
"I am such a bad person... I let kaa-san down, all because I was a scaredy-cat! I made tou-san leave Konoha!" Kiba sobbed as he curled up into a ball behind the door.
Kiba gulped, eyeing a kunai that peeked out of his weapons pouch. The five-year-old wondered if physical pain can take it all away. Kiba felt his heart thunder in his chest as he pondered the thought. Maybe the pain can help him man up and make him more confident? However unlikely it seemed, the boy was willing to take any chance to become the son that his mother expected him to be. At this thought, Kiba straightened as a look of determination set onto his face.
The brunet grabbed the sharp object with a shaky hand, murmuring to himself, "You can do it! You will make kaa-san proud!"
The boy stilled his hand with the other, only for both to start shaking again. He raised the blade to his eye level and gazed at his reflection on the shiny metal surface. Kiba took a deep breath as he contemplated where he should cut. He knew that he should cut a place where he would not be found out easily as his mother might get worried for him, which would only mean that he had failed her again. His eyes landed on his clothed thigh.
"My clothes always cover up my thighs, even when I'm wearing shorts," Kiba mumbled in realisation.
The boy carefully pulled aside the red fabric and poised the kunai over his thigh. He traced a thin line and watched in wonder as blood seeped out of the wound, gritting his teeth against the pain as he felt tears well up in his eyes again and drip onto the wound. He found the sting the salty fluid gave him slightly refreshing. Kiba gave himself a pained smile as he began to move to cut himself again.
That was when he heard an unfamiliar male voice call out.
"What do you think you're doing?"
Kiba cursed as he noticed that he had left the window open, dropping the kunai on the floor beside him with a clatter. He spun around to face the intruder, a hooded figure standing a few paces from the window in his room. Kiba frowned as his almost forgotten canine instincts acted up.
"What do you think you're doing?! You're in my territory! " Kiba demanded in a hushed voice as he jumped up to shut the window after checking that no one else was there, even bothering to close the curtains.
Kiba glared at the hooded person, uncaring of the blood now dripping down his thigh and soaking his red shorts. They were already red and not that difficult to hide the bloodstains on. He also noticed that the person wore a dark red cloak.
The hooded boy ignored the outraged demand from the young Inuzuka.
"Why are you hurting yourself?"
Kiba felt a spark of rage, his lack of confidence forgotten as he growled back, "It's none of your business! It's not like you'd understand anyway!"
Kiba did not notice the angry tears that fell from his eyes until his shirt started becoming damp. He wiped them off in frustration, sitting down heavily on his bed. Kiba glared at the other boy weakly, his surge of confidence waning.
"You spoke of making your kaa-san proud, although you look so ashamed of what you have done. You were so cautious not to let her find out because you knew that she would not be proud of you cutting yourself. Don't lie to yourself, Inuzuka," the hooded boy said coolly, wholly irritated by Kiba's attitude.
"Naruto, be more understanding. He's just a lost child!" Naruto, the hooded boy heard his mother chide him from where she was in his mindscape.
Kiba had forgotten about the cut at this point, the blood had started to clot and the wound was no longer bleeding. The poor boy clenched his fists and laid back down on his bed, clutching his pillow to his chest as more tears pooled from his reddened eyes.
"That's right. Kaa-san would be ashamed of me," Kiba finally breathed out after his tears finally ran out, doubtful about whether the other boy was still there.
"Which is why you work hard to grow stronger. Do not let your kaa-san and nee-san worry over you. Let her train you, train yourself and work yourself to your limits. Do you think that knowledge alone will get you anywhere? You noticed, hadn't you? Your chakra reserves need improvement. How are you going to get stronger if all you do is cry over your tou-san and mope over how you're not good enough to do what your mom tells you to? Sure, knowledge and book-smarts are important. However, they can only get you so far. You still need to work on getting stronger. Do you really think that your kaa-san and nee-san were not worried at all whenever you seemed to vanish from Konoha entirely? They sent out nin dogs to search for you, worried for your safety. But where were you, huh? Hiding in your little room under the Inuzuka compound!" Naruto ranted, the last sentence making Kiba's breath hitch.
"You know about the hidden passageways under the compound?" Kiba asked in awe.
"Of course I do. I know a lot of things about Konoha," Naruto told Kiba, leaving out the part where he had found it when he was randomly using Kamui and had ended up falling into the room.
Naruto had to use his Sharingan to find his way out, unwilling to explain why he was there to any possible passers-by but wanting to explore the area. During his exploration, Naruto found an abandoned section of the Inuzuka library, a hidden room with information in a language he was just beginning to decipher due to the many differences it had from his own and an odd underground chamber with artificial lighting along with animals and plants of medicinal value. Naruto doubted that the Inuzuka boy knew that bit, though.
"I'm Inuzuka Kiba, what's your name?" Kiba introduced shyly.
"I'm Uzumaki Menma," Naruto told him after thinking over it for about three seconds.
Since Naruto sounded like fishcake, which is found in ramen, why not call himself by a name that sounds like bamboo shoots, which is also found in ramen? There is logic in that, no?
"You look like you know how to fight... So can you help me with chakra control and weapon-throwing?" Kiba asked sheepishly.
Naruto blinked owlishly at the boy, asking with his head tilted cutely to the side (not that Naruto had noticed), "Why me?"
The hood shifted slightly such that a lock of charcoal black hair peeked out from under the red hood and his ocean blue eyes seemed to glow as they peered curiously at the Inuzuka, causing said boy's breath to hitch in his throat.
'Genetics is unfair...' Kiba thought miserably, comparing his dull and spiky brown hair to the other boy's shiny, silky locks and his own dull, narrow eyes to the hooded boy's beautiful large blue ones.
"I... I just find that I am more relaxed around you. I don't feel quite so anxious or self-conscious," Kiba admitted quietly.
"Sure, I see no problem in helping you for a bit," Naruto conceded.
Kiba beamed, "Thank you so much, Uzumaki-san!"
"Please, call me Menma," Naruto sighed.
Kiba pouted, "Then you'd have to call me Kiba!"
"Fine... Kiba," Naruto replied, a small smile on his face.
"See ya, Menma!" Kiba said cheerfully.
"Of course. I will look for you when I have time. For now, don't let your family worry," Naruto told the other boy sternly.
"Of course, of course. You're not my mom, Menma!"
With that, Naruto seemed to disappear into thin air, leaving no trace that he had ever been there. Kiba stared at where Naruto had been standing, wide-eyed and jaw slackened.
"That's so cool!" Kiba whispered in awe.
>•<
Kiba skipped down the stairs the next day, having woken up early to scrub out the blood in his clothes after soaking them in soapy water for the night. The sun was barely peeking from the horizon and cast a warm orange glow upon the village of Konoha. Kiba went to the kitchen, humming to himself as he started to prepare breakfast for his mother and sister as an apology for how had acted the previous night.
'Do kaa-san and nee-san hate me now...?' Kiba thought to himself gloomily before shaking himself as he recalled Menma's words, 'I must act happy and confident if only to protect my precious ones' happiness!'
Kiba thought of how Menma had told him about the concern his family felt for him when they were unable to find him, feeling a small smile tug at the corners of his lips. They cared. They did not hate him for chasing his father off. Kiba chewed his lip at the thought, feeling the prickling that signalled the incoming tears. He shook himself as he reminded himself that his mother had told him explicitly not to blame himself and that she did not blame him either.
Kiba nodded to himself, slicing one of the loaves of bread that had been freshly delivered from the nearby bakery earlier in the morning into evenly sized slices before placing a few into a toaster. He proceeded to beat up a mixture of eggs, butter and herbs that he remembered seeing his father cook with before he had left in a large mixing bowl. Once the mixture was smooth and slightly frothy, he stopped and waited for the toaster. Less than a minute later, it dinged and he carefully removed the slightly crispy bread (he toasted it first so that it is drier and can absorb more of the egg mixture) from the machine with a pair of tongs before placing the slices in a tray where he had poured the egg mixture to prepare more slices at once.
While those were absorbing the egg mixture, he placed a few more slices of bread in the toaster. He had helped his father out in the kitchen before, though he did not do anything for the actual making of food and had mostly been in the way. As such, he knew how his father made food (though this was his first attempt at cooking, which was why he was partially surprised as to how he had not burnt anything yet). He flipped the bread slices over with a pair of chopsticks and went to the stove to puzzle over it silently.
He distinctly recalled that his father had told him that different food required different pans which go on different stoves, however, he could not, for the life of him, recall which was which. The boy eventually shrugged before selecting a random pan with a flat bottom and placing it on one of the stoves before starting up the fire (he rinsed it first). While he waited for the pan to heat up, he sliced a few slices of butter to lubricate the pan to prevent the food from sticking.
Kiba used another pair of chopsticks to transfer the butter into the hot pan and flinched slightly at the popping sound of sizzling butter before turning down the heat. He used the other pair of chopsticks to drip away excess egg and place the toast in the buttery pan, watching with childish amazement as the egg sizzled on the pan. Once it seemed to solidify somewhat, he used a spatula to flip it over so that that side would not burn. He waited until the egg stopped sizzling before transferring the French toast onto a serving plate. This had been his mother's favourite breakfast dish when his father was still around, which was why he presumed that she still enjoyed it. He patiently repeated the process, using the interval in which the egg was sizzling to place the other pieces of toast in the egg mixture to soak. He rushed back to flip the bread when he heard the sizzling die down and was relieved that he still had yet to burn anything.
By sheer beginner's luck or natural cooking talent, the boy had no idea.
Kiba did not push his luck and quickly placed the next slice on the growing stack of french toast before repeating the process while he placed the food in the oven (that he had heated to a low temperature amid his preparations) where they would stay warm. Kiba was almost done when he heard heavy footsteps trudge down the stairs, making him stiffen and almost forget to flip the bread, this one was burnt very slightly with a bit of brown at one of the edges. The boy quickly placed this slice on the plate before adding another slice of butter to the pan. He tilted the pan to allow the butter to cover the pan fully as he skillfully picked up another slice of egg-soaked toast and placed it into the pan.
Kiba heard the footsteps stop at the doorway into the kitchen, a gasp interrupting his concentration.
"Kiba? You're cooking? Since when did you know how to cook?" Hana questioned with a raised eyebrow.
In their household, only their father had been able to cook. Tsume and Hana only did manage to almost burn the kitchen down or create a biohazardous black material (sometimes it was harder than bricks while other times were a strange bubbling goop). For that reason, neither had been allowed to touch anything in the kitchen. After Kiba's father had run off, they began eating ready-made food, takeout and the like. It was a far cry from his father's delicious yet nutritious home-cooked meals, but it had been what kept them from starving to death after his sudden departure. Kiba had just picked up his father's coming skills from watching him prepare meals for the family (it also helped that he did not share his mother and sister's strange ability to make biohazardous substances, though).
Kiba shrugged nonchalantly, trying to hide the pink tint his ears had taken as he tried to reply blandly, "I never did. This is my first time actually doing anything related to preparing food."
Hana whistled, "You'd make a good housewife. Shame that you don't seem to swing that way."
This made Kiba flush bright red and chuckle weakly, mumbling, "What was that for, Hana-nee?"
Hana just shook her head holding up her arms in a playful sign of surrender, smirking as she continued, "Oh~ Nothing much, just thinking that my dear otōtō would go better with a guy than a girl."
Her tone made it obvious that she was just joking, but Kiba felt embarrassed nonetheless. However, he did feel that this was the perfect time for him to begin acting more like any other member of his clan, seeing as his sister looked like she was ready to apologise since she had thought that he was genuinely offended (which he was not, thank you very much).
"Oh shut up, nee-chan. Can't you leave me alone for once?" Kiba grumbled rudely, doing his best imitation of one of his clan member's snide comments to one of the said guy's friends.
Hana visibly brightened, an unseen tension in her stance melting away as a genuine smile made its way onto her face. Hana walked over, ruffling her little brother's hair. Kiba grumbled a little but did not try to shove her off.
"That's my otōtō. Kaa-san and I have been so worried," Hana said with relief colouring her voice, leaving Kiba proud that his actions made her happier but guilty that he was lying to his sister.
Kiba shook off the conflicting feelings, forcing a smirk on his face as he taunted, "Oh? So the big bad Inuzuka Hana cares for little old me?"
Hana huffed, punching Kiba lightly in the shoulder, "Of course, I would worry! You're my little brother, for Kami's sake!"
Kiba began to find it easier, slipping into the act without issue, "Stop being so sappy, Hana-nee."
Hana just shook her head, stealing a slice of freshly-made french toast and taking a bite out of it. She chewed slowly, seeming to savour the taste. Kiba quickly removed the last slice from the pan and turned off the stove, patiently watching for her reaction as he prayed that his cooking was decent enough for his sister's taste.
Hana's eyes flew open as a hand moved to cover her mouth, tears prickling the corners of her eyes as she murmured, "This tastes just like tou-san's french toast."
Kiba, who had begun to worry and feel his heartbeat speed up from fear that his cooking was so disgusting that Hana had no words to describe how horrible it tasted, sighed heavily in relief. Hana did not seem to notice, being too focused on savouring the French toast to care about her surroundings. Kiba then began to wonder what his food tasted like.
Kiba sneakily stole the plate from his sister and took a slice for himself after setting the plate down on the table. Kiba tilted his head to the side as he chewed. It tasted quite good, especially considering that this was his first try at cooking. He could no longer recall what his father's cooking had tasted like, so he could not figure out whether her description of the food was accurate.
"It's decent," Kiba told Hana, rolling his eyes, "Nothing special."
Hana ignored her baby brother, continuing to savour the food as she seemed to forcibly stop herself from shovelling everything down her throat.
This was the scene Tsume walked into. Her son, who had seemed to have been avoiding her, and her daughter consuming homemade food that did not look like an unidentifiable black substance. Before she could ask her children where the food came from, Kiba noticed her presence.
"Kaa-san?" Kiba voiced, "Would you like some french toast?"
Tsume hesitated before nodding, wondering what brought the sudden change in her son's behaviour as she watched him warily.
Kiba smiled at his mother once he finished his food, quickly rinsing the plate as he left the room. He barely remembered to tell his mother that he was not training with her for that afternoon.
Kiba returned to his room, shutting the door and leaning heavily against it. It was so much harder to put up an act than he had thought, but it was worth it to see his family brighten up and be happier. Kiba sighed and sat down while still leaning against the door.
Kiba jumped when he heard the voice of a boy his age call out from the window.
"Kiba! I promised to train you, no?"
Kiba looked up quickly, smiling hugely when he saw Menma. His unsure attitude melted away, leaving a more confident person that strode toward the other boy with a cocky smirk. This was who he had tried to be when he was with his family, but this version of him could only be brought out by Menma and Menma alone.
"And I am going to blow you away!" Kiba declared, his expression sanguine.