***
John sat in the corner of the room with his head on his knees. He was dressed in all black and held his mum's wedding ring in his hand.
'How are you feeling?' Bobby asked John, to which he got no response. Paul scowled at Bobby and frowned at himself. This man didn't care for John but he was grieving too.
'Not good, if I'm honest.' John said, his voice coarse.
'I'm sorry for your loss, John.' Bobby sighed.
John stood up with wide eyes. 'You're sorry? You're fucking sorry?' He screamed. 'You stopped me fucking seeing her!'
'John!' Paul took his hand and placed his other on John's shoulder and pulled him back. 'Stop it!'
'You're right.' Bobby said. 'But this isn't the place.'
'Sorry.' John sighed. 'It's - it's just the grief.'
'I know.' Bobby put his hand on John's other shoulder before walking away.
'I'm sorry Paul.' John looked Paul in the eyes and burst into tears.
'Come in here.' Paul led John into another room and pulled John into a tight hug.
'Thank you, Paul.' John sobbed. 'For everything.'
Paul didn't say anything, he just let John escape from all of the emotions he was feeling. John couldn't trust anyone else like he could trust Paul. He understood how he was feeling and he was so grateful that he was here.
'You ready to go back in?' Paul asked, pulling away. 'I'll be with you, every step of the way.'
John nodded. And Paul took John back into the room where everyone was talking of their memories with Julia.
Mimi stood up at the front of the room and tapped her glass. 'I would like to thank you all on behalf of my family, for taking the time to say goodbye to Julia. She was a strong willed woman who had a lust for life and a love for everyone she met. She would have been so proud to see you all here today so thank you.' She said before walking out of the room. John followed her out and grabbed her arm.
'Where are you going?'
'To get some air.' She said, walking away from him. 'I'll see you at the service.'
The rest of the day ran smoothly, everyone paid their respects to Julia before heading to the wake. John didn't really want to go to the wake but knew he had to. He sat in the corner with Paul most of the time, nobody at the funeral really had the time to share their condolences with him as they were unaware he existed. He was the unknown child.
Bobby and his half sisters were the main focus, everyone shook their hands and wished them well but John was forgotten.
Paul noticed this and sighed silently to himself. He thought it unfair but didn't have the power to change it.
'Shall we go?' John finally piped up after sitting in silence for around 30 minutes.
Paul looked at him and shrugged, 'it's up to you.'
'Well I'm doing no good stewing in this corner.' He frowned. 'So let's go.'
'Alright.' Paul agreed. He took John back to his house and unlocked the door. Jim McCartney was sat reading a newspaper in his chair with the radio on, listening to a brass band.
'Oh, hello John!' Jim said. 'I'm sorry for your loss.'
'Thanks.' John smiled politely, not knowing what else to do.
'We're gonna go upstairs, Dad.' Paul told him.
'Alright Paul.' His dad agreed, going back to his reading. 'I'm going to the grocers in a bit. Mike will be home by 3 so keep the door open.'
'Alright Dad.' Paul nodded before walking upstairs.
John noticed a birth certificate nailed on the wall in a frame. He furrowed his eyebrows.
'James?' He said, intuitively. 'Is that your first name?'
'Yeah. Named after me Dad.' Paul said, sitting on his bed. John joined him and crossed his legs.
'That's nice.' John smiled. 'Your Dad's nice.'
'He is.' Paul agreed. 'Me and Mike are lucky to have 'im.'
John nodded in agreement. 'You know, I don't think I've ever seen Mike other than that time he cried on the stairs.'
'Oh yeah! Don't bring that up to him or you won't be seeing him at all.' Paul laughed. 'He just gets like that sometimes; about Mum I mean.'
'Does it get any easier?' John asked.
'No.' Paul said, truthfully. 'You never forget that they're not here anymore but you learn to accept that fact.'
'As horrible as it sounds, I'm glad you've been through it.' John sighed. 'I'm glad you understand.'
'It makes you feel like you're not alone.' Paul smiled, showing he understood what he meant.
'Exactly.'
Paul shook his head. 'You've just got to move on, I know my Mum wouldn't want me grieving forever.'
'Mine wouldn't either.'
'So, let's not.' Paul grinned.
John smiled back. 'I don't think I can be alone tonight-'
'You can stop here if you like.'
'I can't make you sleep downstairs.' John said.
'That would defeat the object.' Paul laughed. 'You'd still be alone up here.'
'Oh yeah.' John blushed at his stupid remark.
'I'll sleep on the floor.' Paul said.
'No, I'll sleep on the floor. It's your bed.'
'But you're the guest.' Paul winked. 'Besides, I don't mind.'
'Right. We're top and tailing.' John nudged Paul playfully.
'Oh but - I'm not gay.' Paul winked.
'That's a shame, because I am.' John laughed. 'Give 'us a kiss.'
'Oh John!' Paul fake blushed. John pulled Paul closer to him in a joking fashion and laughed. 'Sod off, you prat!' Paul punched his arm with a laugh.
'Stu thought we were together, y'know?' John said.
'Stuart's an idiot.' Paul laughed.
'I told him that.' John smiled. 'Then I explained that you're my friend.' He winked.
'Best friend.' Paul winked back.
'Brother.' John smiled.
***
The next day John and Paul walked to school/college together. At the gates Stuart met them.
'Goodbye Paul.' John laughed. 'I love you, my prince!'
'Oh, I love you too, my darling!' Paul winked.
'Haha! Very funny!' Stuart rolled his eyes. 'I was only curious.'
'Y'know Stu, you're very flamboyant yourself?' John sorted his hair out.
'Oh fuck off John.' He hit him in the chest.
'Mr Sutcliffe! Do mind your tone. And you, get to school!' The teacher turned to Paul.
'See you later lads.' Paul bid them farewell and rushed off to his school next door.
'Morning John.' Cynthia kissed him on the cheek.
'Good morning Cyn.' John smiled. 'You look lovely today.'
'Always the romantic.' Stuart mocked. 'He just called Paul his prince.'
'Oh,' Cynthia laughed. 'Should I be worried?'
'Always. Paul is my number one b-.'
'Mr Lennon!' The teacher scoffed and blushed a bright beetroot colour. 'Don't speak like that.'
'Like what, Sir?' John teased. 'He's my number one favourite - baker.'
'Always the jester.' Stuart laughed. 'Come on, or we'll be late for class.'
***
That night John invited Cynthia to a date night at the local dance hall. He took her hand and led her into the venue.
'You look stunning.' He said, kissing her hand and making her gush.
'Thanks John. You look rather handsome yourself.'
'I do try.' He winked.
John danced a little before sitting down. Cynthia had sat with him a little before growing bored of his miserable attitude. This was supposed to be a date and he couldn't help but think about his mum.
Cynthia danced all night, making John feel uncomfortable. She wanted to help him forget about the pain of losing his mother but she couldn't seem to keep his attention.
'Go and dance, have a laugh.' John told her and so she did. She danced with a random man and had a laugh.
'You're very bonny.' The man put his hand on her waist.
'Thank you.' She smiled.
'Kiss me.' He forced a kiss onto her lips before she had chance to pull away and raced to the bathroom. John followed her.
'What was that?' He screamed. He felt a sting of jealousy rush through his spine.
'He kissed me!' She said.
'You gave him the opportunity to!'
'Oh don't be like that. You're not dancing with me so-' John's hand flew into her face, making Cynthia fall back and hit her head on the wall behind her. 'John!' She screamed.
John didn't understand what he had just done, he stared blankly at his hands. Suddenly he burst into tears.
'I'm so sorry!' He ran to her side and wiped her cheek where he'd struck her. 'I didn't mean to do that.'
Cynthia turned away from him. 'You don't hit women, John.'
'I don't know what happened - I - I didn't mean to.' He stuttered over his words. 'I'm so sorry!' He grovelled.
Cynthia pulled him into a hug, feeling sorry for him. 'Don't ever do that again.' She told him.
'I won't. I won't. I won't.' He kept crying. 'I'm so sorry.'
Cynthia blamed it on the grief. She didn't want to believe that she had fallen for an abusive man. She just placed it on the fact that he had just lost his mother.
John walked her home and took her hand. 'I promise, I won't ever hurt you again.'
'Good.' She said, stroking his cheek.
'I love you.' He blurted out, smiling like a child. He pulled her into a kiss and felt the warmth of her lips on his.
'I love you too.' She replied, making John smile even bigger. 'I'll see you tomorrow.' She said.
'See you then.' John grinned as he watched her walk away. Her fair hair falling down her back in a perfect fashion.
He then walked away. He noticed he was close to Paul's and knocked on his door. To his surprise, Jim answered the door.
'It's nearly midnight John, come back tomorrow.' He said simply.
'I need to see Paul.' He twiddled his thumbs. Jim thought about it before letting him in.
'He's in bed. Just go up.'
'Thank you, sir.' John nodded. He wandered up the stairs and knocked on Paul's door. No answer so he walked straight in. He saw Paul asleep in bed. His eyes were shut and he looked peaceful: too peaceful to disturb.
'Just tap his shoulder.' Mike turned up at the door behind John. 'He'll wake up straight away if you do that.'
'I can't.' He said.
'Just tap him.' He laughed before walking to his own room.
John rolled his eyes. He couldn't wake Paul. Jim then walked in. 'Tap his arm.'
'Okay.' John tapped Paul's shoulder and watched as he opened his eyes, stretching his legs.
'John?' He squinted through tired eyes. 'What time is it?'
'Almost midnight.' John sat at the bottom of Paul's bed. 'I'm sorry to wake you.'
'What's happened?'
'I did something terrible.' He cried.
'Talk to me about it.' Paul sat up, he could barely make out John's features in the dark but he guessed it made John feel more comfortable. He was clearly upset.
'I hit Cyn.' He sobbed into his hands.
Paul didn't say anything. He didn't know what to say and everytime he tried to find the words, his mouth failed him.
'I know, it's awful.' He cried. 'I'm an awful boyfriend and an awful person.'
'Why did you hit her?' Paul asked.
'I don't know! I didn't want to dance so she danced with this other guy and - and he kissed her.' He stuttered.
'So you hit her?' Paul blurted out, a little bit more condescending than he had meant it to be.
'I know, it's so bad.'
'What did you do after?' Paul asked. 'Wait - no - is she alright?'
'I cried.' He laughed through his tears. 'I fucking sobbed so hard and apologised.'
'John - is Cyn okay?'
'She's fine. But I'm not.' He hit his head. 'I hit the woman I love out of jealousy.'
'What did she say?'
'I hit the woman I love.' John cried again, the realisation sinking in at last. 'Christ! And she forgave me!'
Paul gave in trying to be the voice of reason and simply shook it off. 'Did she forgive you?'
'I guess. She told me not to do it again. And I won't! God knows I won't.'
'Good.' Paul said, yawning.
'Oh shit! Sorry, I woke you up!'
'It's alright.' Paul rolled his eyes.
'I should get home.' John stood up, to which Paul pulled him back down onto the bed.
'Don't be ridiculous. You can bed here for the night and go home at sunrise. It's chucking it down out there and you're wet through.'
'You sound like my mother.'
Paul laughed and jumped out of bed, switching the light on and flinching at the brightness.
'One minute.' He opened his drawer and passed John a towel and some pyjamas.
'These won't fit me.'
'They're my cousin's. He's more your size than I am.' Paul said. 'Go get dressed and I'll do the floor up.'
John nodded. 'Thanks Paulie.'
'What are friends for?'
***