"You already have a suit?" XJ asked with her eyes wide. "Where did you get one?"
Harry chuckled as he stuffed a heap of mashed potatoes into his mouth, "Bensh tailor,"
"Bench tailor?" Gil asked, frowning in confusion.
Harry gulped down the food in his mouth before elaborating, "Ben's tailor. He made me a suit."
"What the - when did this happen and how do I not know about this?" XJ asked, looking at Harry incredulously.
Harry grinned, "It was a couple of days ago. You were sleeping in very late because it was a Saturday. I came back before you woke up."
XJ frowned, "What did I do the day before?"
"You were staying up so you could remember everything in the school syllabus. You said you needed to 'refresh things' or something."
"Huh, I don't remember that."
Uma laughed, "You'd think that someone with a brain like yours would be the last person on Earth to forget anything, and yet you forget an entire day of activities."
XJ argued, "Those were irrelevant things! I didn't have any purpose for them!"
"They're called memories, lass." Harry said, looking at XJ pointedly.
"Whatever," XJ waved her hand dismissively as she took a bite out of her sandwich. "Irrelevant memories then." Her eyes suddenly flickered to something behind Harry, "And speaking of irrelevant things..."
Harry turned his head a little bit to see Chad Charming walking up to their table. Uma shot XJ a knowing look and said, standing up, "We'll be going now. Good luck."
"We are?" Gil asked in alarm. "I haven't finished my - hey!" Uma dragged the son of Gaston away with a firm arm, leaving XJ and Harry to business.
XJ nodded at Uma as the pirate girl left, "I don't need luck, but thank you anyways."
"Of course you don't," Uma said, smirking a little bit before walking away, with a whining Gil behind her, groaning about how delicious his cheese baguette would have been.
XJ and Harry turned their attention to Chad, who had reached their table now.
XJ asked, raising an eyebrow, "What?"
"I'm starting to think that you're not ever going to help me with Audrey and you thought you could be able to rip three favors off of me," Chad scowled, narrowing his eyes and crossing his arms over his chest.
XJ laughed, "Calm down, Charming. I'm not a liar and I don't break promises. I was originally planning on getting you to meet me at the tourney field, but since you're here already, we can get started."
Chad's eyes lit up immediately and he let his arms fall to his sides, "You mean it?"
"Do I look like I'm bluffing?" XJ smirked. "Come with me so we can practice."
"Practice what? What are we - hey, wait up!" Chad scrambled to his feet as XJ and Harry began to walk out of the cafeteria. "What's going on?" Chad asked, frowning as he caught up with them.
"You said you wanted Audrey back, right?" XJ asked as she continued walking until they reached the school's courtyard. They stopped near the edge of the woods and Harry looked around to see if there was anything around. There wasn't, and XJ turned around fully to face Chad, who nodded at her question.
"I know what she wants in a guy."
Chad's eyes widened and he exclaimed immediately, "What is it? Tell me!" He demanded.
XJ's eyes narrowed - she didn't like being told to do things, but she would let it slide for once. "In the week that I've used to analyse everyone at Auradon Prep, and Audrey even more so, I've figured out that Audrey wants a guy who can give her everything."
"I can do that!" Chad said enthusiastically, looking ridiculous pompous, "I have money! I'm rich!"
Harry sighed and muttered something under his breath, tilting his hat so that Chad wouldn't notice. It was a long shot, but Chad was thick enough not to realize that Harry was cursing him. XJ, however, understood every word that Harry was saying and it took a lot of self-control to not burst out laughing. Instead, she continued calmly, "Yes, I know. That's why Audrey even dated you in the first place, but that's not all she wants."
Chad's triumphant grin fell and was replaced with a bewildered look. "But isn't that enough?"
Harry began muttering even louder and faster, but Chad still didn't recognize the curses that were being thrown at him in pirate slang, and Harry was cursing so rapidly even XJ could barely keep up.
XJ sighed, "Chad, what you have to realize is that girls are complicated," Harry suddenly stopped muttering, raising his head to look at XJ with amusement. XJ fought the urge to smirk at him. "Some of us are fine with just money, some of us want a romantic, some of us want someone who will obey us without question, some of us want someone who can keep up with ourselves," At this, she glanced briefly at Harry, who was smirking now. The corner of her lip twitched and she forced her gaze back to Chad's confused face. "Some of us want someone who's a challenge, and some of us want all of the above."
"But some of those contradict..."
Ah. So Chad wasn't that dumb. The more XJ talked to him, the more he surprised her.
XJ nodded and snapped her fingers, "Exactly, which proves my point more that we're complicated beings." Of course, most Auradon girls were very simple, but this was necessary to simplify and exaggerate things so that Chad would understand.
"Okay..." Chad said slowly, "So which one is Audrey?"
XJ grinned, "Luckily for you, what Audrey looks for in a partner does not contradict. She wants money and romance. That's it."
Chad's expression lit up like a light bulb. "I can do romantic." Suddenly, his frown came back. "But then, if I did all of that, why did she break up with me?"
"Because you weren't romantic," XJ said impatiently. "You were self-obsessed."
"I'm not self-obsessed!" Chad whined.
XJ rolled her eyes and shoved the notion of slapping Chad to the back of her head, no matter how much it danced in the middle of her mind, enticing her...
XJ shook her head and gritted her teeth.
"Maybe you don't think you are, but Audrey does, and you can't control people's minds."
"I...I guess," Chad huffed, "So what do I do?"
"You need to learn how to be romantic - "
"I am romantic!"
"Let me finish!" XJ snapped before taking a deep breath. "Jesus," She muttered under her breath. She shot a quick glance at Harry, who was trying not to laugh. She glared at him briefly and Harry gave a small shrug of his shoulders.
She turned back to Chad and continued, "You need to learn how to be more romantic so that Audrey forgets ho narcissistic she thinks you are."
Chad tilted his head, "Are you sure that Audrey doesn't just want money?"
"Look, you either get Audrey back or you lose her forever; which one will it be?" XJ asked emotionlessly, frowning.
"I want to get her back obviously." Chad answered immediately.
"Then you're going to have to do exactly as I say, got it?" XJ asked as she raised an eyebrow.
Chad nodded, "Got it."
XJ smirked, "Then the first lesson commences - the first thing every learning romantic is that you need to bring roses to every date. Since you're trying to get her attention back first, you'll need roses."
"That's good! I can pay someone to bring her hundreds of roses..."
"Chad," XJ stopped him, "You have to give them to her yourself. It shows how much you care."
"But..."
"And you care, right?"
Chad couldn't argue with that. He nodded, "Yeah, I do."
XJ nodded, "For every date that you take her on, you're going to have to bring her one bouquet of red roses. Remember that, or you'll lose her again. But first, we have to get her back, which is why you're going to have to leave red roses and a note taped to her locker, where she'll definitely find it."
"When do I write on the note?"
"I'll help you with that part," XJ pulled out a piece of paper from her pocket, which was surprisingly flat and un-crumpled. She handed Chad a pen that she pulled out as well and said, "Write whatever I say and you can't go wrong, alright?"
Chad nodded as he knelt at one of the stone benches nearby, placing the piece of paper on the bench and using it as a table. "Okay, go."
"Dear Audrey,
I didn't give you enough attention back when we used to date, and I'm sorry for that. You were right to break up with me - "
"No she wasn't!" Chad interrupted. He was about to say something more when XJ's glared silenced him.
XJ cleared her throat once she had seen that Chad wasn't going to talk anymore and continued. "I wasn't treating you the way you deserve to be treated. You're a princess, and I didn't treat you like one. However, when I wake up, I think about you. When I go to sleep, I think about you and how happy we used to be. I want to try and rekindle what we had. It's killing me everyday I'm without you and - "
"This is a lot of words," Chad complained as he wrote down XJ's words.
"We're almost to the end," XJ said, biting her lip in annoyance at the disruption. "I'm asking if you could give me a chance. Come find me at lunch at the stone wind pavilion when the bell rings. I was hoping that we could have a picnic. I'll wait for you.
From, Chad." XJ finished.
Chad scribbled a little bit more before finally exhaling heavily and raising up the piece of paper victoriously. "There we go!"
XJ nodded, "Now you need a bunch of roses and tape that on the locker too. Finally, you have to learn how to be romantic."
Chad frowned, "I am - "
"More romantic," XJ corrected herself immediately, absolutely exasperated. "Okay, stand up."
Chad complied and XJ said professionally, "Pretend that I'm Audrey."
"No," Harry suddenly barked, making Chad jump. Harry glared at Chad, "No." He repeated, a bit more calmly.
XJ turned to Harry and sighed, "Now is not the time for over-protective boyfriend, Harry."
"Now is the perfect time for over-protective boyfriend; you're telling him to pretend you're his future girlfriend," Harry growled, "I'm drawing the line here."
"Harry Hook, for god's sake, we don't have time for this." XJ sighed, rolling her eyes. "It's not real."
"It's hard to think about that when every bit of me is screaming at me to hook him," Harry snarled, glaring daggers at Chad, who wanted to sink into the ground.
"Oh my god," XJ kissed Harry, and he relaxed a little bit, but he wasn't fully comfortable either. "Better?" XJ asked when she pulled away.
"No. Can't you just tell him what to do?" Harry huffed, beginning to fiddle with his pocket watch.
"Would you rather pretend to be Audrey?"
"I don't have a problem with that," Harry said, narrowing his eyes.
"I do," Chad suddenly butted in, raising a hand.
XJ sighed. "Oh my god, alright. Let's pretend that this tree is Audrey," XJ decided as she rapped on the trunk of a tree next to her.
"Audrey's not a tree." Chad frowned.
"Pretend! " XJ snapped. She cursed under her breath. Maybe she was biting off more than she could chew after all. "What's the first thing you say to her on the date?"
Chad eyed XJ skeptically before turning to the tree. "I'm happy you showed up - "
"You apologize first," XJ interrupted. "You apologize for being self-obsessed first before you say you're happy she decided to come. Practice."
Chad frowned as he looked at the tree, "I'm sorry I didn't give you the attention you needed. I'm glad you came."
XJ bit her lip, "Well, that should do. What's the next thing?"
"Uh..."
"Oh my god; you tell her why you want her back." XJ said exasperatedly. "You say that you miss her and you want her back because she's everything to you."
Chad turned back to the tree and repeated the words XJ had used. He turned back to XJ, "Now what?"
"Now you hand her a plate of food and you two make conversation." XJ answered. "And try not to make everything about you."
"How do I do that?"
"You ask her about her day and what she's been up to lately. Don't drone on and on about yourself. Male sure you keep track of what you're saying too."
Chad thought for a moment before slowly nodding, "I think I can do that."
XJ smiled tiredly, "Good, then there's just one last thing before you're all set."
"What?"
"This is subjective, but most girls like pet names."
"Pet names?" Chad asked, furrowing his brows.
Harry looked at XJ and saw that she was trying very hard not to smile. He smiled and he saw the corner of XJ's mouth perk slightly upwards. "Yes, pet names. Harry calls me 'lass'." XJ was fully smiling now and Harry's smile grew even wider.
Chad looked at Harry and blinked cluelessly, "You do?"
Harry nodded, his stomach filled with butterflies. "Yeah. You should call your girl something too. Since XJ hasn't ripped my arm off and shoved it down my throat yet, I think other girls are head-over-heels for that stuff."
"I'd recommend 'Princess'," XJ suggested, "That's how she acts anyway."
Chad grinned, "That's it?"
XJ nodded, "Yup. Follow all of my advice and she'll fall back into your arms in no time."
Chad laughed and clasped his hands together in excitement. "Alright! Thank you!"
"Three favors, Chad," XJ called to remind the blonde boy, who was already running off.
"Got it!" Chad yelled back.
Once he was out of sight, XJ turned to Harry and let out a huge breath. "I have never ever held myself back so much."
Harry grinned and hugged XJ. "You're amazing. Auradon's going to go down in no time."