I stand frozen, Ja'far holding my hands that were still grasping the knife. His other arm holds me against his chest.
Finally, I haul the confession out of myself. "I wasn't sent here to kill that assassin. I was sent here to kill you."
"Judal. When Kouha-sama came here on the ship, Judal was also there. He told me that it was time. T-to kill the man closest to the king. I...I..."
I slip down towards the floor, my knees giving way below me. Still holding me, Ja'far lets me down onto the floor gently. What am I doing? I should be trying to get away now. I've been found out. Heck, I just told him that I was sent to kill him, which meant that it was all part of Al Thamen's plan from the start.
But for some reason, I don't move away from Ja'far. Not even an inch.
"Hey. Look at me," he said. I shake my head. He stays quiet, waiting until I slowly lift my head to face him. My eyes meet his serious grey ones. After a few seconds, his eyes relax and he sighs.
"It really is you, (y/n). I'm relieved," he says.
What?
"The girl who set half of the palace on fire. The girl who held her own in a fight against me. Well, actually, you did more than that. You made it past my guard. The girl who made me look for her all around the palace at night. The girl who jumped out of a freaking window to save a bird. The girl who somehow made me have a stupid water fight with her. The girl who set off those fireworks during the festival. The girl who has nightmares that she doesn't want anyone to know about."
One by one, he peels my bleeding fingers from the knife handle.
He pauses before saying, "Remember what I said to you that day in the field? When we're ready to trust you, and you're ready to trust us, you can come to us."
The knife clatters to the floor.
"(Y/n), I'm ready to trust you. Are you going to come to us now?"
Tears streaming down my face, I return his hug, burying my face in his chest.
"Thank you, Ja'far," I say.
It's the first time I've said his name out loud.