*****(Y/N)'s P.O.V.*****
'Everything's dark... Where am I?' I thought as I took in my surroundings noticing the black darkness that seemed to stretch out forever. A sudden brightness pierced the darkness I was consumed in and I saw a silhouette beyond the light which appeared to be yelling at another worriedly.
The silhouettes' voices slowly faded in.
"Zero, calm down. She's gonna be okay. We're lucky you found her when you did! Otherwise she would've been a goner." Was that Yuki?
"Shut up! I found her that way because of me! Had I never gotten so mad at her this wouldn't have happened!" Zero, I believe, was crying.... I made him cry.... Zero Kiryu was crying because of me.
It was then that the two came into full view and I saw their faces. "I think she's finally waking up. Took her a while huh Zero?" Yuki said with a smile that faded when she saw the pained look in Zero's eyes.
"I-I'm s-s-sorry Zero." I managed to get out and he gave me a look of confusion. "I broke my promise. I'm so sorry." A tear cascaded down my cheek as I began sobbing.
Let me rewind a bit for ya.
F L A S H B A C K
After making up my mind, I locked Tomoko and I's dorm room door and quickly dashed into the bathroom that was connected to our dorm. I locked that door and grabbed my razor when a knock came at the room door.
"(Y/N). I'm sorry about what went down between you and Zero, but I need you to open the door. I know it's hard, but we're here for you." Yuki called from outside jiggling the handle.
"Ju-just go-o awa-ay." I sobbed remembering how upset at me he had been and added a few scars to my collection.
"Make sure you call for one of us if you happen to need anything." Yuki sighed. I knew she was upset, but I was too busy erasing myself from the world. I was holding Zero and Yuki back. They probably think of me as a burden anyway. One less problem for them to have on their minds.
"IDIOT! WHY DIDN'T YOU BREAK DOWN THE DOOR?!" I heard a worried and irritated voice shout down the hall and the two doors breaking down by Zero slamming through them before my vision became dark.
E N D O F F L A S H B A C K
I felt horrible for putting Zero through all of that. He must've felt like it was his fault. I couldn't bring myself to blame him for it.
"It's fine (Y/N). It's hard to break habits like that. You need someone to stop you when those things happen. I would know." He replied and gave me the soft look he always gave to Yuki and my heart skipped a beat.
Jesus Christ, Zero. Stop looking at me like that or I might actually have a heart attack. I thought nervously. Careful not to hurt me Zero wrapped his arms around me and placed his head on my stomach. "When are you gonna let me relax and stop worrying about you?" He mumbled as he began to fall asleep.
"You know," Yuki began then paused most likely choosing her words wisely. "Zero really cares about you and he's always worrying about whether you're gonna be alright or not. You just have to realize that he doesn't trust people easily which makes it.... difficult to tell him things without him getting defensive. And, he wasn't mad at you."
"Wh-what do you m-mean?" I asked worriedly. If he wasn't mad at me then why'd he storm off like that? I thought.
"Zero, well, as you know is a vampire, but...he still can't control his bloodlust. I think he was just looking for a reason to storm off before he hurt me and, more importantly, you." She explained with sadness in her eyes. I knew how she felt and the guilt crept into me as silence settled in the brightly lit room. The only sound was Zero's soft breathing as he snoozed on. I don't remember when it started, but I suppose I had been playing with Zero's hair as Yuki and I conversed. Yuki suddenly broke the silence.
"I just wish we could help him..." A tear slid down her cheek as she said this and we were both in tears after Zero's next words.
"The two of you are the reason I'm still sane. I fight for you girls. You're the little ray of sunshine," He paused to yawn then continued mumbling though I believe he was still half asleep. "In this world full of darkness." Then he fell silent.
Yuki's sobs and my own were the only sounds left in the room and the headmaster came walking in cheerily a moment after. "Oh dear heavens! Why are the two of you crying?" He cried worriedly wrapping Yuki and I in a tight hug. We replied by sobbing louder resulting in Zero waking up crankily.
"God, I didn't know my words would make you two turn to mush." Zero said ruffling our hair as he sniggered. We sniffled and looked up at him, his hands still resting on each of our heads. "Quit your crying already. You're gonna make me feel bad." And that set it off. The two of us teared up again and threw our arms around Zero, but Yuki pushed me off him. I suppose Zero nor the Headmaster noticed me on the floor. They both hugged Yuki without noticing me slip out of the room walking to my room.
"Your skin is warm like an oven. Your kiss is sugary sweet. Your fingers feel like cotton when you put your arms around me. I feel like I'm just missing something whenever you leave. We've got all the ingredients except you loving me and respectfully...
"I'm not a piece of cake for you to just discard while you walk away with the frosting of my heart. So I'm taking back what's mine, you'll miss the slice of heaven that I gave to you last night.
"You smell just like vanilla. You taste like buttercream. You're filling up my senses with empty calories. I feel like I'm just missing something whenever you leave. You've got all the ingredients except you needing me so respectfully...
"I'm not a piece of cake for you to just discard while you walk away with the frosting of my heart. So I'm taking back what's mine, you'll miss the slice of heaven that I gave to you last night.
"If I am just a piece of cake, I am just a piece of cake, then you're just a piece of meat, you're just a piece of meat to me. If I am just a piece of cake, I am just a piece of cake, then you're just a piece of meat, you're just a piece of meat to me.
"I'm not a piece of cake for you to just discard while you walk away with the frosting of my heart. So I'm taking back what's mine, you'll miss the slice of heaven that I gave to you last night.
"The slice of heaven that I gave- The slice of heaven that I gave to you. The slice of heaven that I gave to you last night." At some point I must have veered off from my original destination and ended up at my family's graves. Yet another reason I wanted to die so badly. I'd be with my real family again.
F L A S H B A C K
The air was thick with black smoke and flames blazed around my small body as I called out for my family members.
"Mother! Father! Where are you? Iris?! No! Meno!" My 13 year old self cried out seeing my twin lying unconscious on the slowly burning floor. I saw the rest of my family in the flames being burned to ashes. I wasn't stupid, so I would have to let them go otherwise Meno and I would stand a chance at survival.
(His name is pronounced Meeno in case your wondering or couldn't figure it out. That's also who the boy in the picture above is supposed to be. Meno kinda looks like that.)
I wrapped one of his arms around my neck and one of mine around his waist as I hoisted him up and attempted to carry him out of the collapsing building. As we emerged out into the winters cold my hot, burning, and aching skin was gently kissed by her frozen breeze. However, my ears were tormented and cursed by the screeching of the fire sirens getting closer and increasing in volume.
As the fire trucks came into view, I knew Meno and I would be okay, but that day I changed. I couldn't bring myself to forgive myself for leaving the others to burn to death. The firemen managed to get them out before they burned to complete death, but there wasn't anything the doctors at the hospital could do because of how bad a condition they had been in. I watched as they took their last breaths in the hospital. After that day I quit talking to others. I became antisocial, that is until Yuki came over to me, dragging Zero behind her.
"Hi there!" She greeted me cheerfully to which I only smiled back gently. "I was just wondering if you'd like to join Zero and I at lunch today? Zero was wondering too so don't let me take all the credit." She giggled and I responded with a soft "I'm not really up for lunch today."
That was my first day of Cross Academy. The days that followed Yuki only became more determined to make me sit with her and Zero at lunch, but I could speak the day I finally mustered the courage to look at them and somehow became lost in his lavender irises. As Zero and I gazed into one another's eyes emotionlessly, Yuki stood there awkwardly fangirling. For what reason had been a mystery to me at the time, but now I know why.
She finally decided to break the silence by clearing her throat. I blushed deep red and stood dashing out of the classroom before Yuki could begin making jokes about how 'in love' we were.
E N D O F F L A S H B A C K
That just about sums everything up. I lived in an orphanage until Kaien Cross found me there with a young, sickly boy. Meno never fully recovered from the fire because of how much smoke he inhaled. Three years after the tragedy and another occurred; Meno died. It was devastating especially for me. I couldn't stop crying for a week.
I had finally hit rock-bottom and lost everything I held dear to my heart. That's when the depression started to settle in and I became anxious around people. I could still remember the dusty, old room I cried in.
I always had been closest to Meno, not because he was my twin, but because he was the only one who understood me. I always wanted to die, but I hadn't known that at the time I started saying things and my parents began worrying about my mental health. I would run around the house with my pretend angel wings and pretend to be sad until I put the wings on. I felt like anything was possible with them on. I felt. . .free. When they noticed this they started putting things together. After all, I was the one who told them I was gonna die and be an angel one day soon.
They asked Meno what he knew and he said that I didn't want to die, just be free and independent. He told them about how my dream was to fly like an angel without the help of a vehicle. They weren't convinced though.
That's why Meno's death hit me like a freight train that I couldn't get off of.