„I can't tell you everything, but I assure you, Farley does."
Shade repeated Mare's words in his head. She'd nodded and smiled beneath her tear-stained face. "Really, you should go to her, she must be in Hall 4." She'd hugged him once more and so he stood here, wringing his hands and expecting someone to stare him dead in the eyes and ask, "What the hell are you doing here?"
Shade shook his head. Mare shouldn't have left him alone on Tuck, just "brought back to life" and in danger of stumbling over his own grave. Fortunately he found his way to Hall 4.
Yet he was still utterly lost. He's missed almost two years of life before this nice but strange Newblood Myra resurrected his dead body and called on his soul from wherever it had roamed. He couldn't remember, he could only compare it to dreaming, like impressions swiftly forgotten and beyond his control. But he was still Shade Barrow and this was his body. It felt both familiar and uncanny at the same time. That might be the consequence of existing as a "ghost" for two years. Suddenly, he had the absurd idea what a silly anticipation his name had been and cackled. He knew he was more than "a shade".
He focused on the here and now. Diana Farley was in that building. What would she say? She hadn't been present when he arose though Mare had implied that she knew while the rest of their family wasn't on the island. He might see them soon, but until then, Farley would be aching to meet him. He hoped. As he was longing to see her, if only he felt ready.
He made the first step into the hall, trying to be quiet, perceptive to any movements around him. He didn't need to venture far into the hall until he heard voices. There were panting and shuffling noises, like from moving crates.
"Too bad no one else bothers to help us with these records," Farley said from around the corner. Shade stepped closer unintentionally, then stopped himself when he saw her. She was carrying a box with another man. He bit his lip and noticed for the first time that his heart did beat again.
"Well, you look terrible, General, so maybe you should take a rest," the man prompted.
She snorted and shook her head, urging Shade to hide behind a beam. It felt cowardly, but the situation was too awkward to simply run into her.
"I didn't sleep last night, as Clara is sick," she replied. "She hardly slept either, and woke up coughing all the time."
Her companion nodded with compassion. "I hope she gets better soon."
Farley took another box and nodded. "She's over there. I thought fresh air might help." She sighed, and Shade turned away. She didn't sound like she was talking about a comrade sharing her room, and his thoughts oscillated. He remembered there had been something weighing on them, nagging on him, just before he –
He shuffled away from the beam, turning again to the persons around the corner when they noticed him.
"Hey! Come here and help us," Farley barked at him and before he was face to face with them, the box she carried fell down with a loud, clanking rattle.
Diana stared at him for seconds. Then she crashed into him.
He stumbled, and as he embraced her back instead of holding his balance, they fell to the ground.
"Brutal," he mumbled, but hell, he didn't care about his hurting tailbone as long as she was in his arms and breathing against his neck. She was so warm, compared to the cold lingering in his bones. If he could hardly believe he was alive, how was it for her?
She sobbed. Her hands grabbed his shirt while he stroked her in turn. "Diana ... ," he began.
"I'm a coward."
He startled but she went on. "I didn't dare to watch it happen. What if it didn't work? I didn't want to know ... whether ... " She trailed off and shifted a little, the electric blue eyes in her tear-stained face fixing him. "I ... ," she tried again and failed. For a short time, he wondered about the other guy, then decided he didn't care.
"Dee," he said, returning her gaze as her fingers brushed over his face with amazement. She hardly blinked, hardly breathed and neither did he. His hands came to rest on her hips, the skin there having been bared by their tumbling. "You're still too heavy for me," he joked finally.
She chuckled. "And I never stopped loving you." Her lips found his brow before she sat up and pulled him up as well. She looked ruffled and flushed and he wondered if he did too, if he was even able to blush again.
Diana cupped his head with her hands. "I can't believe you're real," she whispered. "I've dreamed so often you were, and every time I woke up."
He took her hands. "I am real. Diana, I've crossed oceans of time to find you."
She couldn't help smirking. "You're two hours old and you're already waxing poetic," she replied with her crooked smile that was both a menace and a promise.
"Unfortunately," he said, grinning back for her sake, "I can't remember the lost years. I can't relate to what you –" She shot him a meaningful gaze that puzzled him. "But," he added then, "I still love you too."
A sigh escaped her throat. "Well, that's nice," she said, blushing a deeper pink. "Ah. No dream has ever prepared me to tell you ... to introduce you ... " She didn't find the words and his idea from before emerged again. His heartbeat accelerated, a shiver spread over his body that reminded him he was alive, alive, alive. But that didn't help him with struggling between excitement and fear.
Do we really have...?
He cleared his throat. "Dee? Have you, I mean – "
She chuckled and wiped off her tears with the ball of her hand. "Come," she commanded.
He hesitated, yet he stood up, shuffling his feet. He was back to life for mere two hours and she wasn't having it. She pulled him closer as if afraid to let go of him though rejoice sparkled in her eyes, eyes that bore into his. He had to laugh. Her glare had only gotten worse over time. His amusement was short-lived, however, as she whispered, "don't be afraid to meet your own daughter, Shade Barrow."
He couldn't help looking her over, from head to toes, as if that told him anything. For her, it was funny to watch him realize. He squeezed her hand, then cleared his throat. Again. "So you had a girl ...?"
Her answering smile was radiant, yet it was hard for him to look at her. Damn it. She could still pierce his heart with those eyes and smirk and while he was absolutely unsure about how to react to those news, he'd be content as long as she was with him. As long as he was with her, as he'd pledged.
Yet he had to say something else, or do something, and Diana wasn't helpful with her stare. She really let him boil. He decided it couldn't be wrong to hug her again when a cry cut through the hall.
The sound broke Diana out of her stance. She mumbled something, spun on her heel and pulled him along. "Come!"
She rushed them around some corners and Shade found himself sprinting for the first time in his second life. "Can't you be a little more tender?" he exclaimed. "I'm just – " he trailed off when she stopped out of a sudden.
"Sorry," she said, glancing over her shoulder. And after their skin contact during the last minutes had been like a physical need, she just let go. She fell to her knees, bending towards a small child in front of her. The little girl was coughing but blinked at the sight of Diana - her mother - and stumbled to her.
Shade had to swallow. She can already walk, he thought while Diana stroked the girl's back as she coughed, with unusual tenderness.
In the end, he went down as well and crouched closer. The girl was slowly calming and starting to babble while Diana rocked her and Shade cursed himself for forgetting the name Diana had mentioned. Then the child turned her head and he looked into the replicas of his own eyes.
This. This is our daughter.
He drowned in the moment and Diana hardly made it better. She kissed her brow and said, "Clara, look, daddy is here." Clara wriggled in her hold and Diana loosened it, hesitating for a second before trying to give Clara to him.
He reacted too late and Diana sighed. "I know, it must be too much for you. You were literally dead, and I can't just order you to love her on the spot." She gave him an empathetic, but also disappointed glance while her hand brushed over Clara's hair absentmindedly. She obviously loved their daughter with every inch of her being but she was right: It was too much for him to grasp and make up for almost two years in a few minutes. He needed to learn so much, and not only about these private matters. How was the war going? What had Mare refrained from telling him? And why had the other soilder called Diana "general"?
But bleeding skies, that was for later. He leaned closer, on Diana's shoulder and touched their child for the first time. It was electrifying. Clara was undeniably theirs, a merger of both his and Diana's features and she was ineffably lovely.
He was crying. He tried to wipe the tears away and failed. "She's wonderful, " he managed to say, then twitched. "And hot?"
Diana blinked and blushed. "Yes, because she's ill, my poor dove." She caressed her again. "But she's badass baby."
The remark made him chuckle. Of course she was, given her mother. "I guess you're taking good care of her," he said.
A frown appeared on her face. "I don't need your approval."
"What? I didn't -"
She shook her head upon his reaction, a slight smile playing on her lips. She shifted her hold on Clara and kissed him. "Would you take her?"
He couldn't evade her again. "If you trust me that much," he jested.
She laughed again, earning her a confused look from Clara. She struggled with Clara who was grabbing her shirt and she seemed as curious as an infant could be. But eventually, he held his beautiful daughter his arms and Diana patted his shoulder.
"Welcome back. Now fucking help me."
He nodded gravely until happiness took over. He kissed her cheek and whispered, "as you wish, Dee."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: The other guy's name is Kevin, but I found it unnatural to mention it in the dialogue. I might write a 3rd part from Farley's POV if I have ideas for a plot.
"Welcome back. Now fucking help me." -This was a Fade fic request.
FYI, Clara is ill because I am. Real life touches my writing, I'm sorry but I need outlets -.-