Authors Note: All my works can be found at illumegeoff.tumblr.com. That is where I update everything first and have all my works as I do not post all of them here on Wattpad. So if you really like my stuff check there.
"Ready?"
You looked up to your manager and nodded your head like bull riders did in the pins before coming out. Your manager pulled open the black SUV door and you heard the screams that you heard from inside the car. They cheering of what seem predominately girls didn't escalate a lot as your feet touched the pavement, however, you did notice it increase ever so slightly.
You stepped away from the SUV and began walking towards the alley between the crowds. When you looked into the crowd you didn't register anything at first. You were mostly concerned with trying to get correctly in place. Your manager escorting you into the correct place on the carpet before you walked out to the cameras.
"Okay, give me a second, wait here." My manager said holding up his hand.
Both myself and his assistant stopped where he informed us. Both her I chatted a little to make it not seem awkward that we were standing in the middle of carpet with people running around us.
Suddenly I heard my name being called. I looked up as some fans yelled from the side behind the barricade. I made eye contact with one who was calling to me and waved brightly smiling to her. They called some more.
Looking to my managers assistant I grinned. "You're supposed to stay here." She spoke cautiously.
I patted her shoulder and smiled. "Well, you stay right here. I'll go say Hello."
She shrugged her shoulders indifferently. Turning away from her I began to tip toe over to the crows on the side. Hands started reaching out and screams began to ring in my ears. I found the first girl I had waved to and went up to her.
"Oh, my god. Oh, my god. " She said over and over.
"Hiiii!" I smiled. "How are you guys?"
I felt a few hands touch me gently.
"Oh, my god. Can, can I get a picture?" The original girl said stuttering. I beamed, nothing made me happier than when people seemed to genuinely be excited or happy to meet me. "Oh of course!"
She pulled up her phone and held it out to take the picture. "Here let me take it." I asked reaching for it to get a better angle as she was pushed to the edge of the barricade. I held out the phone taking the picture and a couple more for good measure. She thanked me repeatedly. I moved along a little to the side and spoke to a few more people, taking pictures, signing stuff and talking to them.
"I'm so excited to see the movie in August." Someone said as I was singing a ticket. My head shot up, I made eye contact with a young teen boy.
"Are you really? Oh my god that makes me so happy to hear!"
He smiled back and asked for a picture. As I clicked for the picture I heard my manager calling my name. I looked down from the camera I was holding up and saw him waving for me to rejoin them. I turned around and said I needed to leave to the people who were still reaching. They all gave me disappointed responses.
"It was so nice to meet all of you. Have a wonderful night." I smiled once again waving to them, before turning around. I quickly jogged in my heals over to my manager. He looked at me and to the crowd I had just been with.
"Man, you're a natural for this. I couldn't have trained you any better myself."
I turned my head, not understanding his comment. But before I could question him, he was pushing me forward. A woman in black clothing and a headset came up to us.
"You'll have to wait for a second. Wait right here."
We stood waiting as the person in front of me turned and the photographers began to yell her name. It was Vanessa Hudgens, which made you instantaneously feel nervous. Like aways waiting made you nervous, but following Vanessa was more pressure.
Over the yelling of photographers, you heard two screams from the side calling you. You looked to see two young girls yelling your name, arms outstretched papers and sharpies in hand. Without thinking you took off to them, you manager was yelling at you, but you didn't care.
"Hiii." You said to the two girls reaching for their pens. You pulled off the cap and quickly signed the two notebooks.
"Oh my god you're so pretty." The blonde one said. I thanked them before waving goodbye. Turing, I returned to my manager who was angry.
The woman in black was waiting, they rushed me out onto the main carpet. I walked out gracefully and unrushed, the lady pointed for me to stand. Turning the yelling of my name began. The flashes made me go blind instantly. I had done this only a handful of times before so I tried to remind myself to not get lost.
Smile, relax and pose. My manager's voice said in my head.
I did just that. I heard the photographers yelling my name at different octaves trying for my attention, I tried to follow them, so they could get the shot. In-between yelling my name they yelled out compliments. This happened for a good thirty seconds before the escort on the carpet touched my arm. Blinded by the flashes I tried to follow her.
"Right here." She said again, and I believed I had gotten the right spot. This happened twice more before I had reached the end of the carpet. When I reached the end my manager had already gotten to the end somehow and was waiting for me.
"You fucking killed that!" He said grabbing my shoulder and shaking them in excitement. "God damn. Keep it up you're going to be giving us a raise soon."
I smiled genuinely happy at both my manager and his assistance's excitement. Although all this celebrity type stuff wasn't my favourite I wanted to please them. I wanted to work hard so I could never say I failed because I was too pretentious to put in the work.
My manager escorted us to the next line of press, which was interviews. This was a portion I was always had mixed feelings about. I had only done a few of these but they were sometimes a hit or miss. Sometimes interviewers genuinely didn't know who I was, which was embarrassing and awkward. My manager quickly readjusted my tops white trap, as it had moved on my shoulder. I looked down and smoothed out my white skirt. I felt a little more exposed in my outfit, I had argued with my manager that it might not be the most appropriate outfit considering the audience of the award show. But he insisted I wear the two piece, white lace bustier top and knee-length skirt. Reasoning that we were wanting to keep my audience older, more serious and mature. He wanted to move me away from the CW audience I had made my appearance with, which was the exact reason for being invited to the Teen Choice Awards show. Wearing this outfit would imply just that, he stated.
"Alright. Let's go." A man said from behind us.
I turned and followed him. He pressed me towards a crew. I left my team and began speaking with them. My manager went along behind me looking for other crews and networks for me to speak with. This was a crucial moment.
The interviews went by with good success. I had spoken to Buzzfeed, E! Network, The Young Hollywood and a few other mentionable. They all asked standard questions a few off ones but mostly asked about the upcoming moving and my interview with Ellen. E! Network had been the only one to bring up Shawn. Keeping nonchalant I brushed it off and said that the fans thinking we were cute together was flattering. But followed by reminding them I had never met him before.
After the interviews, we walked inside. My manager escorted us backstage which was buzzing with crew members and celebrities. I caught a few glimpses of actors who gave me butterflies thinking about them being so close to me.
The show was about to start and my manager wanted me to get to our seats. I was seated next to Melissa Benoist, who had been my co-star on Supergirl for the five episodes I had appeared on for their last season. We greeted on another and I was very aware of a camera man taking our picture as we did. We chatted for while and moved on to chatting with numerous people around us. Soon an ambience came over the room, cameras pulled into closer to staged and people began taking places. There was a final announcement that show would be on its way shortly.
A minute or two later the room hushed over and the host for the award show took place on the stage. The music and lights began and soon the show was on its way. I enjoyed my time as this was my first award show of this scale, everything going on around me was new and unexpected. Although Melissa and I had never spent much time talking to one another offset, we made good appearances for the show and cameras anytime they might be on us.
It was around a quarter into the show when they were transitioning into the next musical performance. I watch someone tall set up onstage within the shadows. He took his place at a piano and I knew exactly who it was.
The host came over the sound system. "Shawn Mendes!"
The lights on the stage dimmed and the fog began to come over the floor, rain drops fell on the monitors as he began to play. Slowly, the spotlight lit him up, and I caught my breath. Seeing him for the first time was nothing like I expected.
He face was shadowed by the spotlight but I saw his brows furrowed in concentration as he played. Coming up to the microphone he began to sing, which really took my breath away. No amount of listening to his album and seeing pictures of him through display screen could simulate what it was like to see him in the physical.
His voice filled my ears and he was all I saw. I was mesmerised. He continued singing with his hit 'Stitches'. I knew his set perfectly for the song and saw the guitar and mic waiting for him further upstage. I sang along quietly, watching him sing with so much passion. Suddenly he smiled before standing up from the piano. The crowd went wide and I cheered with them. In the darkness, with the stage display showing a clip of heavy rain pouring I watch him pick up his guitar and come to the mic no more than fifteen feet away from me. Cameras swarmed in front of us pointing forwards him.
With the hit of his guitar the lights lit him up and he began singing the pre-course. I watched as he looked out to the crowd singing to them and only them. When he got into the course and the building was lit up and booming from his hand work. I was bouncing to the music singing every line and word. A camera man came in getting footage of me. I pretended he wasn't there and played along for the show. But I truly didn't need to act, as I was enjoying Shawn's performance.
He hit his guitar with one last stroke and smiled out to the crowd. The audience was loud, he beamed up to them mouthing a thank you before blowing a kiss up to the stands. He looked down lower. Again I was mesmerised. Suddenly he turned his head down into the crowd in front of him. He didn't look right to me first but scanned quickly and suddenly we made eye contact. It was only for a moment and I'm sure he had no idea who I was before the lights fell dark and he was nothing more than a shadow. Crew members rushed him off stage and into the blackness.
The rest of the next two hours I only wondered if he saw me. I questioned again if he even knew me, had he seen Ellen's interview?
The rest of the show was long and tiresome. Keeping up appearances would have been better if I had been presenting or nominated for something to give me a bit of excitement but that was not the case. I only hoped it would be in the future.
With time the show was over and my manager guided me backstage again, stopping along the way to get photo opportunities. My manager was over the moon with how much exposure I was gaining from the night. Once back in behind the stage people were everywhere there was people and crew running around. Photographers and publicist. This particular situation was new to me but my manager seemed to know what to do. He was grabbing at any opportunity for me to get, pushing for A-list celebrities. He worked his magic and managed to snag me a moment with Selena Gomez and Tayor Swift. The cameras went off like fireworks as I chatted with them, we turned for a photo and then as fast as they came were both taken away. My manager was ecstatic and to be honest I was little too shell-shocked to understand the scope of what had just happened.
We moved on to other in the room and after a while, a woman came and talked to me. Looking around the room I then caught a glimpse of Shawn. He was tall in the crowd making it easier to find him. I watched him as the woman I didn't know was talking to me. Attempting to pay attention to her I would glance down but I kept looking back to Shawn. He was smiling to whomever he was speaking with his smile bright and I couldn't help but feel happy when watching him as he smiled to someone else. I couldn't imagine how it felt to be on the receiving of his smile. Turing back to the person in front of me I tried to answer their questions but only managed to the word "yeah" out. They gave me an odd look but continued on anyways. They had my attention for only a few seconds more before I looked up towards Shawn again. I was fixated, there was no other word for it. He was all I saw, I just tried to not gawk at him as he spoke to the person at his attention, looking absolutely captivating. His eyes were so warm and bright, I loved looking at them.
Suddenly I looked away, realising that the reason his eyes were so pleasing is because they were looking right at me. I felt the heat in my cheeks, something that hardly happened. Not daring to look again I engrossed myself into the person in front of me, who I still didn't know.
After a bit, this person left me and my manager pushed me onto the crowd. I then felt a touch right above my wrist and someone with a pleasant voice called my name. The touch disappeared and I looked to the location it came from.
I saw Shawn smiling at me just before a person walked by between us. My heart felt like it fell out of my chest.When the blockage passed he was still there looking at me and smiling. Turning I smiled back, it felt big and hurt my cheeks. "Hi." I said over the crowd too loud.
"Hi!" He said, extending his hand and opening up his arm. I took his hand and shook it. He leant into me with his open arm and we exchanged a reserved hug for a first greeting. The lights from the ceiling flickers a few times. "So nice to meet you." Shawn smoothly spoke into the back of my head.
Inhaling I caught his scent. "Ah. Yes. Nice to meet you as well." I stuttered too distracted by just his scent.
We disconnected and there was an awkward moment. He smiled just for a moment his face gentle.
"Your performance was amazing. I loved it so much." I burst out, and I began to ramble. "I mean I've seen you do it live online so many times but seeing it in person was honestly a long time dream of mine. I was blown away!" As I spoke a smiled came across his face as he listened to me. "I'm honestly such a huge fan." I finished.
He leant forward and smiled shyly. "Oh thank you that's so sweet." He said touching my forearm, which lit up to his touch. "I actually saw you in the audience after."
I raised my eyebrows, staggered. "You did? Wow. I didn't even think you knew who I was?" I laughed nervously.
Shawn gave me a beatific smile, touching my arm again. "Of course I know who you are." He chuckled and it was a warming sound. "I'm still waiting for my marriage proposal." He then gave me a wink.
My cheeks went hot again, and I loathed the feeling. "Oh, god." I said placing my hand on my face. "You saw the show."
Perplexed, he looked at me. "Of course I saw! I love her show."
"Oh god." I reached out and touched him for just a moment, this skin was so warm and soft. The lighting in the room flashed again. It was if our touch was creating shortages in the electrical for the building. "I'm so sorry." I threw my head back removing my hand. "That's a little embarrassing."
"Don't say that. I found it really flattering."
I shyly looked away. "Well, I'm glad you did, and didn't find it creepy."
He chuckled again and I think I fell in love with the sound. "No. Not creepy at all."
The room flashed again and I noticed that a man with a camera was standing taking pictures. I looked directly around us and a little ring of privacy was created just around us. The photographer, asked for the picture of both of us.
I looked up to Shawn and he smiled to me and opened his arm for the picture. I turned into his arm, his hand pressed to my middle back and couldn't help noticed how much I enjoyed the touch. I leant slightly in for the picture, the photographer got a few of us smiling and a few without. My manager and a guy who I assumed was Shawn's came in the place of the photographer and they took a picture as well. I noticed a few random people behind them did the same. I whispered thought my smile to Shawn.
"Would you mind if I actually got a picture on my phone too?"
Our managers moved away and Shawn removed himself away from me.
Timidly smiling up at Shawn I continued. "Like I said. I'm actually a huge fan so this is a big of a big deal for me."
He shook his head just slightly as if to say to not be so ridiculous. "Of course. As long as I get one as well. I'm a fan of you as well."
I giggled reaching into my small red clutch. "Oh don't falsely flatter me."
Shawn pulled out his from his back jean pocket. "I'm not." He said looking serious. "I started off in school musicals, to say I wasn't excited for a remake of 'Singin' in the Rain' would be disrespectful."
I looked down at my phone trying to hide how flattered I was at him knowing what I was working in.
"You're alright with Snapchat?" I asked politely my finger hovering over the app. Shawn pulled up his phone to show me the opened app on his. We chuckled at one another before he shuffled closer to me for the picture. I leant into him and he pulled it up both of us showing up on the screen. He looked perfect. I smiled at the sight of him and me together in a picture. He tapped the button for the picture, we relaxed our pose and he touched at his phone.
"A silly one?" He asked, his voice deep and raspy so close to my ear.
I agreed as he set up his phone after a few moments for another picture. We returned for a pose again, and both we posed. We both make a shocked face lips were parted and eyes wide. I giggled at the coincidence before reposing for the picture. Shawn took the picture and then we move onto taking one on my phone. We only got to do one, before Shawn's name was being called by someone. Shawn looked up and indicated he needed to move on.
"It was so nice to meet you." He said reaching to hug me with one arm. I reached back returning it.
"Likewise." I beamed, my cheeks hurting again.
His hand was still on my forearm. "Hey, listen we should hang out sometime. If you want?"
I raised my eyebrows stupefied at the offer. "Yeah, that would be great."
He held my arm tighter and smiled. "Great! Listen I'll get my guy to contact your guy if that works for you?"
I nodded unable to speak.
"Again, I'm so glad to have met you. Have a great night." He smiled brightly to me once last time before himself and his touch disappeared into the crowd.
The crowd around me swallowed me up again. My manager came into view and his cold hands were only my shoulder.
"Oh, my god. That was great. You did such a great job. You really sold that!"
His words confused me. "What?" I asked my voice distance and preoccupied. My brain was filled with images of what had just happened. I held up my phone the picture of Shawn and myself still waiting on it. I published it to my Snapchat story after saving it. My managers cool hands then pushed me around the room for the rest of the night because I was gone. Whatever logic or attention I had, left with Shawn. Part of me was terrified of how I was feeling but the other part was elated. Nothing could live up to this.
It wasn't until the lights and sounds were gone in the black SUV driving us to an after party that I really came to my reality.
"I met Shawn," I whispered as I looked out the window as the L.A lights went by. "I cannot believe this."
"You did amazing at the show." My manager said grabbing my attention. "You got so much exposure. You interacted with fans naturally. So many good pictures." He turned to his assistant. "Make sure we are pushing those."
I turned to my manager saying his name and telling him to "Shut up." He stopped.
I began to shake my head in disbelief. "All of this is really happening isn't it?"
He grinned at me. "It really is." His hand touched my knee. "It's only going to get bigger, trust me."
I looked away from him and back to the window. "I couldn't think of anything better."
I felt an icy hand on my hot shoulder. It was warm in the club for the after party. I turned around my manager was leaning into my ear.
"Shawn's manager got into contact with me." Instantly I was fully attentive to him. "Saying you and Shawn wanted to get together sometime?"
I looked up in the dark room and nodded eagerly.
'Well, he's only in town until tomorrow afternoon. And with the promo for the movie you're going to be swamped for the next two months. The only time that works for the both of you in the next three months is tomorrow morning?"
"Okay?" I answered. "So?"
"Well, are you good with that." My manager yelled into my ear.
"Yeah!" I yelled back.
"Alright well, it will be early. I'll get back to Andrew. We should get you out of here then. Don't want to be up to late and miss tomorrow."
I nodded in agreement, excited to leave the party. My manager really had wanted me to attend the party but I wasn't into it and was just going along for the benefits it could give me. All this was for the better, right?