AN//I don't know if anxiety attacks are a sensitive topic to some ppl but,,,,here's your warning if the title wasn't enough of a warning for ya
Jay was doing his regular nightly routine on a Tuesday...scowling around for criminals out in the alleyways of Ninjago City. It wasn't fun at all. Well, at least to Jay. Jay didn't bode well with crowds...especially during the night hours. And there were a lot of crowds at night. He didn't know how to explain why he felt this nervous hatred for it. Just whenever he was stuck in a crowd with no real way out, he couldn't just push his way out or ask people to get out of the way. He had to deal with it because nothing would come out of his throat and his muscles would never act. And dealing with it led to him panicking. Jay didn't know why his heart would jump even at the thought of a large mass of people around him! It just did!
Jay huffed and shook his head, trying to get his train of thought on the tracks to something else. He had to focus on his duty as a ninja right now, it was incredibly important to the city that he did this efficiently. Jay took off in a sprint down one of the many alleyways, his eyes darting wall to wall. He needed something to keep his attention on.
Before he could actually find anything of interest so he could let his mind wander on other topics, he slid to a stop, finding himself at the entrance of the alleyway. Right in front of him was a parade. It seemed like festival kind of parade with people dressed up with the most incredibly flashy outfits he has seen all year. He was admiring the outfits before something seemed to stab him right in the stomach. He remembered what parades basically were. A huge group of people in one area tightly fitted together to stay on the road. His brown eyes widened and he stepped back. The lights from the festival themed parade grew brighter after he realized this fact, and every voice around him became louder. The cheering of people on the side of the streets, the people walking in the parade singing, everything was so loud. It was getting so intense for Jay. The brunette boy shook his head and grabbed at his hood.
"Focus Jay! Focus! You just need to get to the other side of town. It'll be calmer there!"
Jay thought back to his mother's words one time he had a similar problem like the one he was currently facing. She always told him to breathe. A long breath in, holding it, and then letting it go through his mouth, as if he was blowing out candles on a birthday cake. Jay attempted to do exactly that; breathing in and out. It took him a few breaths with tightly shut eyes to get his composure back.
"Ok...You can scale the building and go over the power lines..." He told himself. He gently opened his eyes, immediately looking at the brick wall across from him to avoid looking at the screaming crowds on the street. Jay knew he could do this. He wasn't going to be a kid and run from his problems. He was going to work through this, even if it killed him.
Jay huffed and jumped onto the brick wall with his hands touching the wall first, then his foot. He then leapt to the other wall side using his other foot and still keeping his arms at the ready. He repeated this until he reached the top of the building he was originally looking at. Jay crouched down in the shadows of the rooftop. He needed to make sure that nobody could see him. After he was sure the coast was clear, he stood back up and started a stroll on the top of the building.
"Hey, how's the city doing?" A voice yelled out. Jay jumped, his heart skipping a beat. It didn't take him long to realize it was just his communicator that he kept on his wrist. He rolled up his sleeve a bit and brought his wrist up near his face.
"It's...busy for sure." Jay answered.
"Need any 'backup'?"
Jay sighed. "No, no that's not necessary...I-I'll be ok."
"Your voice crack says otherwise."
"Cole...I can do this!"
The communicator went silent for a minute, giving the thought to Jay that Cole must've hung up.
"Ok, fine. But the minute something wrong happens, you better call."
Jay smirked. "Got it, bro."
With his conversation at a end, he tucked his sleeve back into it's original position and stretched his arms out with a heavy sigh.
Could he really do this?
He shook his head, his brown locks bouncing. He could do this! He almost even slapped himself for being so negative. The teen let his arms fall back to his side as he jogged over to the edge of the building. He crouched at very edge and viewed over the streets. The parade still went on, everyone cheering and screaming in delight of the festivities. Jay frowned and then spotted the power lines over the city.
"What a jump! It looks like plain child's play."
Jay smiled with a new found confidence blossomed in him. He leapt onto the pole that kept the lines in the air and scurried up it without a second thought. The ninja reached the top and cautiously stood up on it for a second, taking in the jump from line he was about to get onto.
It...looked smaller from below.
With the mix of his nervousness from earlier, a new fright sprung up into his chest. He was used to falling, yeah, that didn't scare him as much...but falling into a crowd. All of the attention would be on him. Everyone would stop. The entire planet Earth would stop and just stare at him for failing such a easy task. Jay's heart beat sped up. He knew this wasn't good. The teenager attempted to breathe once again, remembering his mother's words that always stuck with him.
"Just breathe in..." A long pause. "Hold...!" Another pause. "Andddd out!"
His mother's voice kept replaying and replaying in his head. It seemed to grow faster and faster like a movie going at twice the speed it should. His breathing began to get faster as well. The whole world from up high started to twitch to the right, and then to the left. Instantly, he pulled his sleeve back.
"Cole. I need to get out of here. It's happening."
"On it. Be there in a minute. Sit down until we get there."
Beads of sweat trailed down from his forehead as he slowly made his way back down the pole. His whole body began to shiver like he went out into the snow with nothing on but boxers. Jay tried to breathe while he slowly climbed down enough to make it over to the rooftop he previously scouted around. He mis-stepped when he got off the pole and tumbled onto the rooftop. Nothing much came out of his mouth when he tumbled because his throat felt like it was swelling up. The only thing he could manage were a few strained coughs as he put his hands around his neck. He felt like he was about to faint. He couldn't breathe. Tears started pouring out of his eyes in the masses and hit the ground. Even the plip-plop's of his tears sounded like drums in his brain as he cried on the ground. Everything was just...terrible. His muscles tightened as he hugged himself, clenching his teeth.
Boy, did we want to go home.
---
"We there, Nya?" Kai asked his sister who was piloting the Destiny's Bounty. Nya's focused look turned to Kai.
"Just about. Location says he's right over some café in town." Nya replied, eyeing down at the city below. Kai followed her gaze down to Ninjago City. They were closing in near a...parade? Kai sighed with a pinch of anger, stomping his foot on the wood below them.
"I shouldn't have sent him out there! This is like...the worse possible place he could've been in!" Kai exclaimed, motioning to the festival below them. Nya frowned.
"You didn't know that there's was a parade tonight. Don't beat yourself up. These things happen." She sighed, trying to comfort her older brother. Kai still looked furious with himself. He let his own teammate, no, brother, out in what was probably a nightmare for the electric ninja. Kai groaned and ran his hands through his hair. He hoped that Jay didn't keep this as a grudge against him.
"We're here! Everyone set?!" Nya yelled behind her, directing her call to the residents of the ship. Kai and Nya waited for a answer for a solid five seconds before a answer was blurted back out to them.
"All ready to go!"
---
Jay looked up, his vision still incredibly cloudy from the buckets of tears he was crying. He made out the crimson red dragon head of the Destiny's Bounty. A part of him was incredibly relieved...but another part of him was incredibly worried about showing his face around his team. He didn't like being seen like this.
He was weak.
Jay sniffled and looked back down at what seemed like a puddle on the ground as the ship stopped in the air and hovered. He heard something being thrown off the ship and a few voices, but he wasn't focusing on them enough to hear what they were actually talking about. Then he heard someone land.
"Jay! Jay!"
Not a minute later, he felt his shoulders being grabbed by someone. He yipped at this and shut his eyes tight, his shaking increasing.
"It's ok, Jay. It's me, Lloyd."
With his eyes still tightly closed, he clamped his hands together and debated on if he should open them or not. Maybe it wasn't Lloyd. Maybe it was a snake person with a voice changer hooked up to him to make him sound like Lloyd. The thought of this made Jay give out another cough, forcing his eyes to flutter open anyway. His chocolate brown eyes locked with the blonde's ivy green ones.
Yep. It was Lloyd. The real deal.
Jay wanted to leap up and tackle Lloyd with a big hug. He was so touched that he came out to get him like this. Jay opened his mouth in a attempt to shout a 'thank you' but his mouth clamped back shut and he fell into another crying fit.
"Alright. It's ok tough guy." Lloyd spoke softly. The leader crouched down and put his arm around the fellow ninja. He held him fight and helped Jay step over to the rope. It took a minute, but Lloyd soon got a grip on the rope, as did Jay. Lloyd tugged at the rope, signaling that he was ready to get pulled back up onto the flying ship. The rope, almost instantly, started to slowly work its way off the ground and up into the air. Lloyd kept his attention on Jay and his shaky grip on the rope.
"We're almost up. Just hang in there." He spoke, using one of his hands to keep Jay's hand steady. Jay nodded with a sniffle.
---
Just about everyone was on the training docks. Everyone except Sensei Wu, who was busy but he had come out earlier to help calm Jay's nerves with some special tea. Lloyd, Kai, Cole, Nya, Zane, and Jay sat around on blankets in a circle. Most of them were talking about stories and the such. Jay and Zane, however, were sitting together. Jay was too shook up to even sit alone, he needed to just be by someone to assure himself that he was safe. It was about a half an hour after Lloyd and Jay had boarded back on the ship, and Jay had calmed down quite a bit. His hands were still shaky as he took small sips of his Sensei's tea. Zane sat by right next to him, as if he was guarding him, with a arm always behind Jay's back. His glowing blue eyes had a certain comfort to them. Probably the fact that they looked like headlights at night and kept out any weird creatures creeping in the darkness really gave Jay a sense of comfort.
Well...that's what he thought anyway.
"And then bang! Gone! Totally outta the park!" Kai yelled out, throwing his arms into the air. Everyone in the small circle laughed at the ending of Kai's small story about a time he beat a huge skeleton and won. Jay smiled, a few more thoughts beginning to plague his minds.
"I take these guys for granted sometimes..."
He looked around at everyone. Everyone was so happy and full of life. This was his team. This was his family. This was his true home.
The freckled teen gently let his head rest on Zane's shoulder, earning the robot's attention. He closed his eyes and let the sound of Zane's gears run throughout his ears. It was soothing to say the least. It reminded him of the junkyard.
"Thank you, brother." He muttered.
Zane grinned and patted his brown curls, letting the electric ninja doze off on his shoulder.
"Anytime, brother."