All I could do was stare in shock. I glanced between the boys, unsure what to say or do. My mind felt like it was just exploded. Malcolm "Manny" Osme Dean was sitting around my coffee table stirring some sugar into one of my mugs. He acted so casual that a part of me started to believe I was just dreaming this. But then I'd see the looks on the boys faces and realize this was far from being a dream.
Aaron and Pierce hadn't moved at all. They simply watched as their father basically took charge. Manny's persona was infuriating in a sense. He walked through the apartment like he owned the place. Some may view it as confidence but to be it looked like an inflated ego. His posture was up right and he didn't seem at all threatened. In fact, the only one who looked afraid was Phillip. Phillip simply stayed seated on one of our sofas like he was trying to disappear.
Malcolm blew the steam away from his coffee. He took a sip before turning his attention back to us. Specifically, me. "So my dear," He said with a grin. On television, his smile always was endearing. In person, it was villainous. "What do you know about my boy?"
I stayed silent. Even if I did speak what would I say? I don't know much about Aaron. In fact, his life just seemed to blow up in front of me. I felt a hand grip mine and I briefly looked down to see Aaron wrapped his hand around my own. Malcolm noticed. He stared at our linked hands like it was the most interesting thing in the world.
"Fascinating," He looked up at his son. "Is she dimwitted?"
Aaron clenched his jaw, "No."
"Then I don't see why she can't speak for herself," Malcolm rolled his head back in my direction. His eyes focusing on me. He leaned forward against the coffee table, propping his hands down. His next question catching me off guard, "Would you consider yourself a perfect person Parker Finch?"
Man, I thought to myself. A few months ago, I would have passed out if Malcolm Dean knew my name. I'd literally be squealing, "He knows my name!"
Not now. Now, I frowned with fear. How does he know my name?
I licked my lips answering, "Last I heard Jesus was a man. So no."
Malcolm smirked, then stood up. He buttoned his suit over and took a few steps towards us. "You're a fan of my work, are you not?"
I didn't bother lying, "Yes."
"You must know then that there is a common word used nowadays to describe celebrities," He added putting his hands behind his back. "I'm sure you've used it more than once."
My head was spinning around at the things I used to say about Manny. He was always someone I looked up to. Admired. Someone who I believed was making a contribution to society and spreading joy. I felt my throat close a bit as I looked up at him. He used to be perfect to me.
"Leave," Aaron interrupted.
"That's rude Aaron," Malcolm stared at me. He probably noticed how conflicted I was. "All I want is a family dinner. Is that too much to ask?"
"Get the hell out of my home."
"Tsk, tsk." Malcolm shook his finger and walked away from us. He headed to the kitchen where we heard rustling of plates and silverware. "If you behave," Malcolm called out. "I'll bring up the gift I have in the car."
"We don't want your stupid gift," Aaron replied.
Malcolm appeared in the doorway. He was holding plates and silverware and walked towards me. He held them out for me to grab. I looked up at Aaron, unsure what to do. "You're right," Malcolm finally looked at Pierce. There was a small glisten of disgust that registered in Manny's eyes. "The two of you wouldn't be interested. But I'm sure Pierce has long been waiting for my present."
Aaron and I faced Pierce. The color on his face drained and for a moment I could see the terror in his eyes. He hadn't spoke at all before. Now it seemed as if the words were getting stuck on his tongue. His eyes landed on me—pleading. I took the plates and silverware from Manny and walked to the table to start placing them.
"Aaron why don't you grab the glasses," Manny said victoriously. "I'll check on the food."
Manny ended up sitting at the head of the table. Phillip and I on either side of him. He arranged us specifically. Putting Pierce next to me and Aaron at the other end of the table. It was like they were facing off who had the right to claim leadership.
"Please," Malcolm said stabbing his fork into the chicken breast he had apparently prepared. "Eat."
None of us touched our food. We stared at him like he had grown a third eye. I wasn't even hungry. Staring down at my plate only made me want to puke. On one level, I felt like I was being held hostage. On the other hand, it was like being at a very awkward family reunion dinner.
"I'm curious," Malcolm said suddenly as he finished chewing. "You never did quiet answer my question Ms. Finch."
"What was that?" I asked quietly.
Malcolm smiled, pointing his fork between Aaron and Pierce. "What do you know about them?"
"She doesn't have to answer your bullshit questions," Aaron snapped. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I really needed time to think. There was too much spinning in my head. I pushed all the thoughts aside. All the confusion and misunderstanding.
I sat up straighter and glanced at Aaron, "It's fine."
Aaron's gaze landed on me. His daunt and depressing eyes that were swirling with anger as well. Some of the anger subsided and he suddenly looked afraid. I turned to look at Malcolm who was very interested in the interaction. "Better yet," Manny asked. He folded his hands together and leaned his chin on them. "What do you see in him?"
I didn't have to think through that question. I answered quickly, "Everything."
"Really?" Malcolm raised his eyebrow.
"Yes."
"What do you see in her?" Malcolm asked Aaron as he flicked his head in my direction. Aaron didn't answer. He stared down at the plate in front of him. His jaw clenched so hard the vein on his neck was outlined. Malcolm gave Aaron a few seconds to respond but he said nothing.
"Very well," Malcolm sighed deeply. He shook his head and looked at me, "Did Aaron ever abuse you?"
"I'm sorry," I said taken aback and utterly confused. My eyebrows furrowed together and I glanced at Aaron. "What? No. Why would you even ask that?"
"He didn't tell you he put his old man in the hospital? We got into a small fight, but my brittle bones were no match."
"No." I licked my lips, muttering to myself than to anyone else, "He's a pacifist."
"Aaron neglected Pierce for years," Malcolm continued. "He didn't talk to his little brother for probably half of Pierce's life."
"Aaron loves Pierce."
Malcolm locked eyes with his son, a murderous smile spreading on his lips. "Aaron is the reason his mother is dead. Didn't he tell you that?"
Pierce slammed his hands down on the table. He didn't look up at anyone, he simply exhaled through his nostrils and shook his head like he was trying to prevent himself from shedding tears. "You're full of shit," Pierce said ever so slowly. He looked up at his father—his eyes glazed over with water. "And you're batshit crazy."
"That's probably your mother's fault," Malcolm answered casually. "For all I know she gave me some unknown STD that she contracted from all the other men she fucked."
Pierce was taken aback—I was taken aback. I blinked twice and stared between Pierce and Aaron. Whatever they weren't telling me was starting to be uncovered rather quickly. Aaron started to laugh humorlessly. "God," Aaron extended the word as he shook his head. "You are one manipulative son of a bitch."
Malcolm's jaw clenched. He turned to face Phillip, "What about you Phil?"
Phillip's face turned red with anger. "It's Phillip," He muttered quietly.
"What's your fat ass up to these days?" Malcolm took a bite of his food. Before Phillip could answer Malcolm spoke for him. "Right, you're trying to sue me and find evidence against...what was it again?"
"Is that what you're here for?" Aaron interrupted before Phillip could answer. "Is it because we're closer to the truth and you're afraid of losing your deceptive reality?"
"Hardly," Malcolm answered. He spread his hands out at the table. "Could I not have a delicious dinner with my children? We're being a family."
"Fine," Aaron started to eat the food on his plate. "If eating gets you out of here then that's what I'll do."
He looked up at Pierce and I. We both started to slowly eat the chicken. Malcolm continued small talk. He mentioned a few things I didn't know. Like a place named Saint James and a few people I hadn't heard of. Eventually, we all finished our meal. Malcolm asked, "Do you have any desserts?"
"No." Aaron basically growled.
Manny looked at me, a smirk clearly written on his face. His eyes scanned over me quickly before he said, "I guess Aaron's impatient because you're his dessert."
"Don't," Aaron said slowly. When I looked up at him, the anger and frustration was clear on his face. I don't think I've ever seen Aaron as angry as he was now. The fire behind his eyes burning brighter than ever.
"I have a question for you Parker," Malcolm asked me. "Both of my children are quite handsome as you can tell. Have you ever considered being with both—"
"That's enough," Pierce snapped.
"Fine," Malcolm grabbed his napkin and wiped his mouth quickly. He leaned back against the chair and glared across the table towards Aaron. "Why don't you and I talk a bit then? Man to man."
"Good idea," I interrupted. Before anyone could do anything I stood up, harshly throwing my napkin against the table. "I'm going to get fresh air."
As I walked away, Malcolm cooed at me and said, "Now look what you did Aaron. You pushed her away."
I stepped out onto the balcony and leaned against the railing. I started taking deep breaths. There was a small breeze. My eyes focused on the moon. It was shining behind a few set of clouds and as I stared up all I could think of was what was going on inside.
I was overwhelmed. There was no question about it. I had never expected Aaron and Pierce to be related to Malcolm Dean. I thought they came from a bad background. My mind typically went to foster care. Or even prison. Instead, I'm hit with this instead. And not only is their father a famous actor—but my favorite actor. I sure didn't expect him to be like this.
None of this made sense to me. How could I not have seen it? I knew Manny had a son. But the son was always away in college. Malcolm always said he wanted his son to be raised in a normal life. I didn't even know there was a second child. And Malcolm's wife died in a car accident.
I know nothing about Aaron and his life. I didn't know who to believe either. Sure, Malcolm was being an ass. But what if everything he said was true? There was no way that Aaron was abusive. No way he killed his mother. It had to be a lie. Because Aaron and Pierce obviously get along.
They're only half-brothers, I thought suddenly.
I bit my lip. Suddenly feeling light-headed. I sucked in a breath that suddenly shook. The back of my throat felt like it was closing. There was no way I could love someone so deeply and not know any of this. It wasn't just Aaron, but Pierce. They both are my best friends. Aaron—the man who no matter what—makes me feel like I'm on cloud nine. And Pierce—my best friend who listens and laughs along with me.
I sat down, hanging my hands through the bars of the railing. This can't be happening, I stared up at the sky. It was dark and the clouds made everything look hazy. The breeze covered up any sounds of the street. When I looked down at the pool I saw the silhouette of someone swimming in it.
There was a shout behind me. I turned around and saw that Phillip had yelled something. I cracked open the sliding door enough to hear what was going on. "We're taking you to court you son of a bitch," Phillip spat out.
"You don't have enough evidence," Malcolm stood up, looking like he was about to leave. "Besides, no one is going to care about a case from years ago."
"You're wrong," Aaron said. He narrowed his eyes at his father. "We have everything we need. We even found the red car. You're a dumbass for not getting that destroyed."
"You found the car?" Pierce asked bewildered.
Malcolm clenched his jaw. He seemed to be analyzing the situation. Finally, he let out a loud growl and slammed his fist into the wall. The drywall crumpled and when he pulled his hand out there was a large hole left behind.
"Get out," Aaron said. Everyone turned to look at Aaron. He seemed calmer than before. The corner of his lip was up like he had won. Manny was frustrated and it finally looked like everything was pointing in Aaron's direction.
"Very well," Manny narrowed his eyes on his sons. "I've got nothing to lose then, do I?"
He started walking towards our door. I took the opportunity to open my glass door wider. I took a step into the apartment just as Manny turned around—his hand on the doorknob. His eyes landed on me before flicking them towards Aaron, "You better watch out. I've got nothing to lose. And you? You now have everything."
Malcolm started opening the door before Pierce said, "We had dinner with you. What's my gift?"
"You're right!" Manny clapped his hands and covered his frustration up quickly with what seemed like a legitimate smile. He pulled out his phone, tapped the screen, and then looked up at Pierce. "Don't say I was never nice to you. I own up to my mistakes."
Pierce's hand formed into a fist at his side. His face was red and for a moment, I thought he was about to throw something at Malcolm. Manny faced me and smiled, "Pleasure meeting you Parker Finch. I wish you all the best."
With that Malcolm left. Phillip stood up and leaned against the table. He put his head between his arms as he took deep breaths. Aaron walked towards the door and twisted all the locks. He even slid the chain across, which we never do. Pierce buried his head in his hands and sat against the wall. His back slowly dragged along the wall until he was finally sitting on the floor.
I was staring at Malcolm's seat. He had been sitting in my chair. I don't think I could ever sit there again. I'd have to switch it out. Buy new furniture. A few seconds passed before I could feel Aaron's intense eyes on me. When I looked up—sure enough—he was staring. There was something there I had never seen before. Pity.
"Birdie," Aaron walked towards me. He put his hands on my wrists. I shook them off, instantly seeing the shock on his face. Something else clouded his ever-daunting eyes: Fear.
"I'm sorry," Pierce said to no one in particular. He looked up at me, "I'm sorry we didn't tell you."
"We should probably talk," Aaron told me. I was still in shock. I couldn't think of anything to say. I wanted to know. I wanted answers. But I couldn't even start asking the questions. I didn't know what to ask. Aaron put his hands on my shoulders like he was trying to get me out of a daze.
"Parker," Aaron said more seriously. There was concern laced behind his voice. He placed his forehead on mine. His whispers staying between the both of us, "Say something to me Birdie. I don't care what. Just anything."
I made eye contact with him. For the first time ever, he looked away. I licked my lips and started shaking my head, "What the actual fuck Aaron?"
He let out a small joyous laugh. The sound of me cursing was foreign to the both of us and I guess he was glad I hadn't passed out. Aaron kissed me under my eye and cupped my face tightly. "I'm sorry," He said.
"We're all fucked," Phillip muttered. He was still breathing like he was trying not to hyperventilate.
"Not right now Uncle," Aaron didn't look away from me. He was trying to search my eyes and face like it would tell him exactly what I was feeling. But the truth was, I felt numb. I was just watching. That's all I did. Watch from the sidelines as if I was an audience and the whole show as performed in front of me.
"This is messed up," I said under my breath.
"He's messed up," Pierce looked up from his hands. "What are we going to do Aaron?"
There was a strike of realization behind Phillips eyes, "Shit, he's going to kill us."
"Uncle," Aaron hissed. "Not now."
"No Aaron," Phillip argued. "I told you damn well what to do. Now he knows where the hell we are. He's got you down. He knows every damn thing about you again. Pierce is damn right. What the fuck are we going to do now? Didn't you hear him? Hell, he doesn't have anything to lose. If he wasn't batshit crazy before, this will drive him mad."
There was a knock on the door. Everyone in the apartment stiffened. The knock echoed through the apartment a second time. No one dared to move. Eventually, Aaron let go of me and walked towards the door. He undid the locks and chain before slowly pulling it open. For a few seconds everything around us froze. Finally, Aaron let out a sigh of relief that seemed to be matched with a high-pitched sob.
The door flew open and a girl shorter than me flew into his arms. "Aaron," She was crying into his chest and he held her to him.
Pierce instantly stood up. He stared vacantly at Aaron and the girl. A smile started to form on his lips just as tears developed in his eyes. Pierce blinked once and drop streaked down his cheek. "Marie," Pierce said catching her attention. "Mon amour."
There was a brief second where Marie stared at Pierce and he stared at her. She was small—petite. And short. It looked like she was a bit older than Pierce though. Maybe by four or five years—or more I couldn't tell. She had shoulder length hair that flowed in beautiful waves. It was a different color compared to the pictures Pierce had showed me which made me believe she dyed it.
Marie let go of Aaron and jumped into Pierce's arm. She started to cry uncontrollably. Pierce held onto her close, putting her down briefly so that he could kiss her. It wasn't a long kiss. In fact, they were both crying. Marie was sputtering random French words I didn't know. Pierce didn't bother replying. Between her speaking, he would kiss her. His arms holding her close until finally he hugged her again.
"Je vous ai manqué," Marie muttered into Pierce's shoulder.
I looked up at Aaron who looked like he was finally breathing fresh air. His gaze was content—happy. It was as if Pierce's happiness instantly reflected onto Aaron.
"Mon amour," Pierce said pulling Marie away. He turned her to face me. Marie looked so happy. Her eyes were red and puffy. I'd never seen someone with such a red face—obviously due to the crying. "This is my best friend Parker."
Marie regrettably turned her attention from Pierce to me. She started speaking French but I had no idea what she was saying. Pierce muttered a few words as well causing Marie to nod. "It's a pleasure to meet you," She said to me. Her accent thick but her English impeccable. "I'm glad Pierce made friends."
While Marie spoke to Pierce, I looked past them and saw as Phillip walked towards Aaron. They whispered something to each other before Phillip put his hand on Aaron's shoulder. With that Phillip headed out of the apartment.
I had zoned out of the conversation but I finally went back to paying attention to what Marie was saying. "They drove me for days," Marie said. "I was so scared Pierce. I didn't know where they were taking me. That's why I was crying. They told me to come up here. I thought this was it. I thought I was going to—"
"Excuse me," I accidentally interrupted. I didn't want to hear what Marie was going to say. She was afraid. More so than I would have thought. I walked past the happy couple, towards Aaron. Pierce's girlfriend noticed. Just how I noticed she asked Pierce a question in French. He must have been explaining to Marie that Aaron and I were together. A small smile filled her even bigger one as she glanced between Aaron and me.
"I want to talk," I crossed my arms in front of Aaron—unable to look into his eyes.
"It's getting late," Aaron said. "We can talk in the mor—"
"No," My eyes were locked on the floor. "Now Aaron."
Aaron sighed while nodding his head. He was tired. I could tell just by his posture and the way he was talking. "Ok," Aaron placed his hand on my arm. I let him hold my hand as he walked towards the balcony. "We'll talk."
Pierce gave me a sad and reassuring smile as we walked past him. Aaron opened the glass door and we both slid onto the balcony. He set up the two lawn chairs we had in the corner. I took a seat and stared out into the skyline. "Do you want anything?" Aaron asked me. "I can make you a chocolate milk."
I shook my head—glancing at his chair. "Just sit down and tell me."
Aaron did take his seat. He reached over to grab my hand, intertwining our fingers together. "What do you want me to tell?"
"Everything." I finally looked up at Aaron. There was something behind his daunt eyes. They always look pained—like right now—but there was something else too. Fear. He was looking at me like he was afraid. Like I was fragile and he was scared he'd break me. "Start from the beginning."
Aaron took a deep breath and nodded, "Fine. But if you want to know everything, then you need to know the beginning doesn't start with me. The beginning was when before I was even born..."
*************************
"That's everything," Aaron said once he was done telling me his story. He was lying back in the chair. Our gazes staring out at the skyline.
My mind was blown. It was odd how such a weird story seemed to connect all the pieces together. I always knew something was missing. Every time I learned something new about Aaron it never fit with the rest. Now it did. Now everything fell into this perfect spitting image of who Aaron and Pierce Mosdenea are.
"Talk to me." Aaron leaned forward towards me.
"What do you want me to say?" I said quietly. We had been out here for hours. It had taken a lot of time for Aaron to explain everything. Not once did I interrupt him with a question. I listened diligently. Hanging on to every word he was saying.
"Anything."
I looked at him in a new light. Finally understanding why he is the way he is. The sadness behind his eyes reflecting his childhood. When Aaron told me how devastated he was when he couldn't go to his mother's funeral—I finally understood the grief. Everything else was a combination of all the disappointments he had to face. Aaron also explained that after his father went to the hospital because of him, he vowed to never use violence again.
And Pierce. The happy, funny, best best-friend I've ever had. I'm sure he was just as devastated when he found out the woman he believed to be his mother turned out not to be. Even when Pierce thought his own family was going to begin, it also ended in a tragedy. But it also explained why Pierce and Aaron moved around. And how Pierce was able to afford to travel so much so often.
"I'm going to sound stupid for asking," I said with a small humorless chuckle.
Aaron shook his head, "Ask away Birdie."
I licked my lips—dreading what his answer would be. "Did you ever meet any other girls while you were hopping around? I mean..."
"No Birdie," The corner of Aaron's lip curved upward. His signature eyebrow raise and smirk would have caused butterflies in any other moment. Aaron grabbed my hand and kissed my knuckles. "I've already told you, you're the only serious relationship I've ever had."
All I could do was nod my head. I stood up from the chair, wrapping my arms around myself and leaning against the railing. "Will he hurt us?"
Aaron frowned for a second. He joined me at the railing. Placing his arm on my shoulder. I leaned into him, letting his warmth spread through me. "No," He finally answered. "I'm going to make sure he doesn't."
I wanted that to make me feel better. I wish I could say I felt like that was enough. But it wasn't. I looked over my shoulder and saw how Marie and Pierce were still talking on the couch. Marie was straddled over Pierce, who was holding her like he was afraid to let go.
"Marie had a miscarriage because of your father?" I asked.
"Malcolm hired a few men," Aaron answered quietly. "I'm not supposed to talk about it, but yes. Marie and Pierce lost their child."
"And your mom..." I trailed off. "Malcolm basically—"
"Drove her to suicide," Aaron finished for me. His jaw clenched, "When my dad sent me away it was the last straw for her. She thought she lost her only reason to live, which was me. Malcolm likes to remind me it's my fault she died."
"It's not."
"It took me a long time to realize that," He admitted.
"Was Marie safe?" I asked after a few seconds of silence. "I mean why bring her back to Pierce if she was a bargaining chip? You guys moved around because you were afraid of him. But also, what he would do to her. Why give up that power?"
Aaron didn't reply for what felt like forever. I turned in his arms to look at him. There was admiration in his eyes. He was staring at me like he stared up at the stars. Whenever he looked at me that way I felt my heart melt and swell at the same time. I put my hand on his cheek, the urge to kiss him almost impossible to fight. Aaron placed his forehead on mine and sucked in a breath. His voice flowed like honey—low, deep, sweet. "Birdie," He said hoarsely.
That's when I realized it. I pulled away and stared blankly at Aaron's chest. "He gave Marie back because she was the bargaining chip," I repeated. My mind was working a million miles a minute. "You don't give that away unless something better comes along."
"Don't," Aaron put his hands on my shoulders. Squeezing softly to try and relax my tensed muscles.
"What is it Aaron?" The air was knocked out of my lungs. Aaron's eyes stayed focused on me. He didn't have to say anything for me to know what the answer was. I felt the color drain from my face. In a small voice I asked, "Me?"
Aaron licked his lips, "I don't know."
I couldn't stop the fear that started to hint in my voice, "He'll hurt you by hurting me?"
"No," Aaron said adamantly.
"Isn't that what he does?"
"Yes," Aaron said softly.
"He hurt your mother by having a child with another woman. By sending you away." I said, "He hurt you by never letting you see your family. And he hurt Pierce by destroying his chance of a family and basically reminding him that you have different mothers. What's to say he won't use me to hurt you?"
In a stern voice Aaron said, "He's not going to touch you."
But he knows who I am, I thought. The first thing that came into mind was my family. My mom, my dad, my brothers. It was like everyone I cared about suddenly piled up in my head. My friends included.
"Why..." I shook my head. "Why didn't you just tell me?"
"About my father?"
"Yes!" I shouted all of a sudden. I hadn't meant to yell. But after I did, it felt good. Everything was starting to fall together yet apart at the same time. I pushed everything away for so long. I pretended like nothing was happening and that everything was ok. Now that I knew, I wish I could go back to that feeling. The feeling of ignorance.
I took a step away from Aaron and ran my hands through my hair. "You could have told me," I said in a quieter tone. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"How would you have reacted Parker?" Aaron looked just as heartbroken as I felt.
"You know everything about me," My heart hurt. "You've met my family. All my friends. There isn't a single thing about my past you don't know about. You could have trusted me. Why didn't you?"
"First, I didn't think you'd have believed Pierce and I." Aaron replied, "Whoever would? My father is one of the most worshiped men in the world. Which is the second reason, you idolized Malcolm. Pierce and I hate your obsession, but we know better than to ruin someone else's joy. In the broad spectrum of things, sure, finding out your favorite actor is a douchebag isn't something you'd die of. Still...Pierce and I didn't think it was worth it. We didn't think he'd find us. And third..."
Aaron paused. A small smile matched his slow shrug, "I've been running away from my parentage for a long time. Ever since my mother switched from Osme Dean to Mosdenea. I wanted you to love me. Me. All I ever thought of was revenge. I wanted justice for my mom. I wanted my father behind bars and that obsession took over my life. But you changed that. You took over my mind. To me, you were the center of my solar system. Everything I thought of doing—of having—had you in the picture."
"Aaron—"
"I never thought of a picket fence house," Aaron looked off like the picture was perfectly forming in his mind. "I never wanted a family. Hell, marriage was something I planned to avoid forever. I was always alone and I liked it that way. I tried following what my mom said by taking care of Pierce. He was all I had. Him and my work—my success. But now all I know is that everything has to have you. I want a house that has a studio for you to work in. Where I can come home and see you drawing buildings on a big draft desk. We'd have a big spectacular wedding but only invite a few people. And then maybe one day, I'd have the honor of becoming a father. I'd get a minivan and take our child—or children—to soccer every Saturday morning."
"Birdie," Aaron turned towards me, grabbing my hands tightly and placing them against his chest. I could feel his heart beating. Its rhythm as calm as ever, "I didn't tell you because I've lost everything to Malcolm. I never had a father. I lost my mother. And even when I thought I had a brother, turns out it's only half true. I can't lose you. You're true. All I have is love for you Parker Finch."
I looked down—allowing a small tear I had fall down to the ground. When I looked back up I sniffled. Placing my hand on his cheek I smiled sadly, "But...you don't deserve anymore pain."
He leaned into my hand, kissing the inside of my palm. "I love you Aaron," I pushed myself forward. I kissed the corner of his lip. Then I stepped back. "He's not going to hurt you," I wrapped my arms around myself.
Aaron smiled gently, "I know."
I bit my lip and felt my eyes start to burn, "You should go."
"It's getting late," Aaron nodded as a yawn suddenly took over. He checked his watch, "We should finally get some sleep."
"No Aaron," I shook my head. My eyes started to water and I felt the back of my throat tighten. Marie and Pierce were safe apart. I couldn't live always looking over my shoulder and fearing that something was going to happen. To me or to someone I cared about. Including Aaron. I was his Achilles heel. The chink in his armor. I knew it, Aaron knew it, and most importantly Malcolm knew it.
I took a deep breath. The words felt stuck in my throat but I managed to say, "I mean you should leave."
It took Aaron a few seconds to realize what I meant. His eyes instantly locked with mine and it felt like I was drowning in the anguish. His shoulders sank down and he slowly shook his head. "Don't do this," Aaron said softly.
"It's better for the both of us Aaron," He took a step towards me and I took a step back. There was an instant flicker of heartbreak in his eyes. The truth was, I felt the same break. "You have to know that's true."
Aaron was conflicted. His eyes darted around like he was analyzing everything around him. "Just because I know something is true doesn't mean I want it to be."
There was silence that filled the space between us. It felt like the both of us were magnets. We wanted to be together but there was something between us that was invisibly pushing us away. Aaron and I stood there for a while. Both of us not knowing what to do or say. Typically, Aaron was good at breaking silences. He made me feel comfortable because he always knew what to say. Now he looked unsure. Brokenhearted. And I felt exactly the same way.
Aaron put his hands on the railing like he was stabilizing himself. He took a deep breath but in a soft voice asked, "Is this what you want?"
No, I thought to myself.
Aaron looked at me through the corner of his eyes, "Do you want Pierce and I to leave?"
No, I thought again. But all my voice managed to say was, "Yes."
Aaron nodded slowly like he was absorbing everything. "Ok," He finally said in a quiet voice. He turned around and started back into the apartment.
"Aaron," I caught his wrist forcing him to face me. His eyes met mine and I was suddenly hit with emptiness. There wasn't sadness anymore. The anger was gone too. I felt like I was staring into a bottomless pit. His eyes were as empty and hollow as I was feeling. "Please just...just don't hate me."
The corner of his lip lifted slightly and for a brief second it felt like nothing was wrong. It was the same half grin he always gave us. "I don't hate you Birdie. I don't think you're wrong but I also don't think you're right." Aaron hesitated, "It's not your fault. It's my father's. And I've learned to accept that."
Aaron twisted his wrist away from my hand and walked into the apartment. I slowly followed but by the time I was in the middle of the living room, Aaron had already harshly slammed the door into his old bedroom. Pierce, who had been sleeping on the couch, woke up suddenly. Marie was lying on top of him. Her head tucked under his head and her breaths were slow and deep with sleep.
Pierce inhaled deeply, a content smile rising on his lips. He realized I was making my way to my room when he softly shouted, "Parker."
I turned around and pushed a smile on my face. I could pretend everything was alright for now. Just a little bit longer until I was in my room. "Yes Pierce?"
Pierce whispered something so quietly I had to take a few steps towards him to hear him clearly. "Marie and I were talking," He said. "We said that tomorrow we should all go to lunch. We could go to that really fancy restaurant that has those awesome pastry desserts. It can be a double date."
I nodded my head—trying hard to prevent my voice from cracking. "Sounds like a plan," I turned around and started heading towards my room. I turned around for a split second, my gaze landing on Pierce. He wrapped his arms tightly around Marie and kissed the top of her head. She moved slightly, turning her head in the other direction. All Pierce could do was smile. Marie was his home.
I stepped into my room and sat down on my bed only being able to think one thing, It feels like I lost my own home.
************************
The next morning, I woke up to rustling. It was still dark outside. Which meant I couldn't have been asleep for long. I heard my door open and opened one eye to see who it was. Pierce stood in the doorway. He walked towards me and kneeled beside me. "Hey," He whispered while brushing some of my hair away from my face. "Are you awake?"
I groaned as my response. "I need sleep," I muttered.
Pierce chuckled softly. He licked his lips and smiled, "If you ever need anything, call me ok?"
"I just told you. I need sleep. Go to bed Pierce," I shoved him away playfully and rolled over in my bed. "Get some sleep or we won't go for lunch."
I was already drifting back into slumber as Pierce said, "Ok. Bye Parker."
The next time I woke up I realized the blinds of my window were down. I reached up to push them up only to find out it was bright and sunny outside. I reached over, grabbing my phone and checking the time. My alarm hadn't gone off. I had overslept into the afternoon. Typically, the sunlight would have woken me up, but someone had shut the blinds.
I yawned and stretched for a few seconds before getting out of bed. "Pierce," I called out into the apartment. "Are we going to lunch or what?"
There wasn't a response. In fact, I didn't hear a single thing. I frowned and walked towards the kitchen. It was empty. I knocked on the boy's room but got no response. Then I slowly opened the door. I called out Aaron's name. The room was empty. The pictures around Pierce's bed were gone. Aaron's old bed wasn't surrounded by his things. I rushed to their closet only to find empty hangers. Their bathroom was left without all their products. Even Pierce's blue toothbrush was gone. I went back to the kitchen and started opening the cabinets. Aaron's favorite mug wasn't on the top shelf. It was red and had a chip on it and just like everything else, it was missing. Pierce's cooking utensils weren't in their drawer either.
I took several deep breaths. My head felt light causing me to lean against the counter. Wrapping my arms around myself I walked out of the kitchen. On the dining room table was a small note. I hesitated. A part of me anxious and another part afraid to see what it said.
Taking a deep breath, I reached out and grabbed the envelope. When I opened it, two plane tickets to Tasmania fell out along with a card. In a neat cursive it read, All I have is love for you Birdie –A.
I felt like a hot knife had been ripped through me. I instantly sat down. Staring at the words over and over again. I asked for this. I asked for Aaron and Pierce to leave. I felt tears start to well up in my eyes. I stifled a sob not wanting anyone to hear. And that's when I realized—no one was around to hear.
My roommates were gone. My best friend was gone. The man I love—gone.
Aaron was right, I thought. Just because something is true doesn't mean I want it to be.
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
Disclaimer: My best friends and I have an acronym. Our squad is called SMACK because the first letter or our names form the word :)
If you've never listened to The Scientist by Coldplay, 10/10 recommend. Anyways, what do you guys think of the chapter? Broken up, not broken up? Oh what shall I (the author) ever do. Seriously though, is anyone conflicted? Only about three chapters left.
Hope you guys liked it :) Please vote, comment, the works. I love feedback and love!
Vote
Comment
Share
Thanks