Mosdenea

Chapter 36--Life Moves On

I think they moved. After the boys left I never heard back from them. It was painful at first. Not waking up to the smell of Pierce's breakfasts. No more carpooling to the university. Or coming home and being in Aaron's arms. The hardest part was going to sleep along and eating dinners by myself. I didn't just miss my boyfriend, I missed my friends. The adventures we'd go on.

Aaron talked to me a while back about the possibility of moving to Boston. Or maybe they did go to Europe like Phillip asked them to. The point is, I didn't see them again. Even Pierce disappeared. At first, I thought we would run into each other on campus. Except we never did. One day, I went to one of his language classes and I couldn't find him in the crowd. I asked Jackson, Kellie, and Victoria if they had heard from him, but apparently, he had gone silent.

"Does Pierce have mono or something?" Jackson asked me at lunch about a week after the boys left.

I shook my head, trying to find the courage to tell my friends. "No," I pushed a reassuring smile. "Um...Pierce and Aaron moved out."

"What?" Kellie looked up instantly from her plate. "When?"

"A few days ago," My eyes were locked on my food. I pushed a bit of fruit to the side with my fork and kept pretending everything was ok. It was hard living at home by myself now. There was so much quiet that I usually left How I Met Your Mother on constantly to try and keep some background noise.

"Wait" Kellie sat up straighter. "Are you and Aaron...?"

She left the question hanging. My eyes quickly flicked up to my friend. I guess my gaze was the answer she needed. As if on instinct, Kellie took Jackson's arm off of her shoulders. I think it was her way of trying to rub in that she had a boyfriend and I was out of one. It made me feel a bit better seeing that she cared so much. She placed her hand over mine while pushing a small smile onto her face.

Kellie and Jackson asked me if we were broken up. I truly didn't know how to respond. The worst part was that in a sense we split and it was mutual. I wanted to keep him safe and he wanted to keep me safe. But I hated the fact that we actually split apart. It also hurt knowing Aaron couldn't trust me with his secret. Especially after I've told him everything there is to know about me. The toughest part of losing someone was losing someone I was still in love with.

At least when Jeromy and I broke up, it was a clear understanding. We weren't happy. We kept arguing. And we clearly stated we were through. But with Aaron it was different. We never recited the words, "This is over." Or, "I'm breaking up with you." I asked him to go. He left. And it's unclear to me how I'm supposed to label the relationship.

I am still very much in love with him. Which is the problem. At night I'd reach over in my bed to grab his arm and place it over me. I had done the maneuver hundreds of times before. Except now, my hand would always land on the cold side of my mattress.

Every morning I would check my phone instantly to see if I had any messages. Sometimes I would open the last text Aaron and I sent each other. I'd contemplate sending a message. Then, get out of bed and get ready for class. I went through this routine every day. Eventually, the days turned to weeks.

I didn't cry as much as I thought I would have. The silence was deafening but I quickly found ways to keep myself busy. I spent most of my time at the school library and in Kellie's dorm. Her roommate moved into her boyfriend's new apartment. Meaning, the only time she would come through was if she needed clean clothing. If I wasn't on campus I would be at work.

"Parker," Victoria exclaimed at me one day. She rushed up to me—smiling like crazy. "Guess what?"

"You're getting a new hair cut?" I teased.