Death.
Words that described it.
Pain.
Darkness.
And loneliness.
Yet, I was aware -on a conscious level- of such things.
Why?
In death, a person was gone.
No replacement, just a bitter emptiness.
With death, there was nothingness.
But, I knew my name. I lived a life and still retained memories.
How?
If I was dead, then I shouldn't exist.
And yet somehow, I did.
OoO
Light.
A sudden wail.
Air, I breathed it for the first time in my lungs.
My arms and legs flailed and I heard a voice, soft and sweet.
I cried harder, blinking the blurriness from my eyes. Something warm wrapped around me, and I was leaning against a firm but soft surface. I calmed instantly.
"Sweet baby Kyyra," a feminine voice sang into the air, entrancingly, hauntingly beautiful. "Don't you cry. Mama is going to sing you a lullaby."
I blinked watery eyes and opened my small mouth. A coo escaped my lips.
Laughter, sounding like wind chimes, echoed before fading. "Oh sweet Kyyra, you're exactly how we imagined. You're such a beautiful baby girl. Hair and skin like mama's and eyes just like daddy's."
I made another coo and the person, my mother, holding me clutched me closer. I closed my eyes, feeling soothed for that time.
OoO
Bars restrained me.
Imprisoning me from the world.
I didn't know where I was but glancing down at my useless chubby hands and feet, I was aware of being a baby.
I gurgled, and I heard a chuckle, masculine and deep.
"Kyyra," a low baritone rumbled. "What are you up to?"
I gurgled again, feeling drool roll down my chin.
"I can't believe your mama left me to watch over you. I'm not cut out for this," the man complained but his voice held a hint of humor. A large hand came into view, holding a white handkerchief. The material pressed against my skin and I moved my head away.
The cloth was pulled back. "Ah, I see. It's too rough." A face came into my view and my body jerked. Two different colored eyes, one red and the other blue, stared down at me.
A large hand shifted in my direction and fear bubbled in me. I began to cry.
"No, Kyyra," he was shaking his head, uneven brown and red locks swaying with his motion. "Don't cry. I'm going to get one of your teddy bears." He seemed alarmed.
I didn't want my teddy bear. I wanted mama. I cried louder.
He put a white teddy bear in front of me and started shaking it. "See Mr. Teddy Bear. He's..."
He took the teddy away. "He's... I don't know."
And something strange happened, my crying died down.
"Uhh... he's fluffy and soft and weird looking." The male was struggling for words.
Strange burbling noises filled the air and his face popped back into my view. Blinking his eyes, he stared at me.
"Ah, Rido. I see you're getting along with our baby," another voice joined in.
He disappeared, leaving me to stare at a white ceiling. I babbled while moving my hands and legs.
"Now, she wants you."
He came back in my vision, strong hands lifted me up in the air. He cradled me against him. A chuckle vibrated through his chest, making my little body shake. I warbled, drool bubbled from my mouth to wet his shirt.
"Look, she spit on my shirt," the man said. He lifted me up until I was close to his face. My small chubby hand raised and surprisingly hit his cheek. His eyes widened while mama's laughter bubbled in the room.
"She even slapped you, hun," my mama said in between her laughter.
I babbled at the astonishment on his face. He shifted me until his long arm supported my spine. His large hand cradled my head. He lifted a pointer finger to me with his other free hand. Naturally, I grasped it with my chubby fingers.
"Do you see this?" he asked. Pride glittered from his mismatched eyes. "She likes me!"
"Of course she will, hun," mama replied. Her pretty face came into my line of sight. Her dark eyes switched lovingly between me and him. "You're her father," she finished as she turned her head to Rido.
"It's just that..." Slightly, he shook his head. "My siblings never thought I could find happiness. I never thought I would find you."
Her arm snaked around him. She leaned her forehead against his shoulder. "We found each other."
I gibbered. They both glanced at me, a smile on their faces. "We have our sweet Kyyra. That's all that matters."
"Yes," he affirmed.
OoO
I was seated on a plush carpet, mama stood not too far from me in one her beautiful dresses. She always wore dresses and loved to make me wear them too.
Mama's dainty hands were on her knees. Her long and shiny pinkish and purplish hair fell over her shoulders in waves. Her dark brown eyes shone with hope.
"You might do it this time. Come on sweet Kyyra," she encouraged me. "Come to mama."
I put shaky hands down, feeling the softness on my fingers. My legs shifted from under me.
"That's it, crawl to me." She was waving her hands to me.
I tried to move but my bare knees rubbed hard against the carpet and my arms gave away. I fell face down on the ground. Mama started laughing, her happiness making my failure to move her seem like nothing.
Comically, I made a sound.
"Don't worry," she said as her footsteps approached me. Her hands gently clutched my sides and she helped me to sit on my bottom. She rearranged the pink fluffy dress I wore at my sides. "When you fall down, you get up and try again."
I babbled at her, making the corners of her pink lips raised into a smile.
"You want to try again?"
I said something in gibberish, my hands reached for her.
"Oh, all right. I'll give you hand." She picked me up and I sighed. There was no better place to be than in mama's arms.
OoO
There was something wrong with mama. I heard it the moment she came into my room. I turned my head to her, a distress noise hurtled from my lips. She was hunched over, her body wracking with painful coughs.
Then a weird pungent smell filled the room.
"Emi," Rido dashed next to her. "What's wrong?"
She covered a next convulsion of coughs with her hand. He knelt down to her, and gently rubbed her back.
"Emi?"
He removed the hand from her lips and I saw it, crimson stained her fingers.
My father, his mismatched eyes, glowed a frightening scarlet. I wailed.
I didn't know what happened after that but I was cradled in strong arms. Someone was trying to soothingly shush me.
"It'll be okay, Kyyra," I heard a strong but tender tone tell me and I realized it was dad. "Mama is going to be fine."
My little fingers sought purchase of his collar. I grasped it tightly as my forehead touched his chin. I smelled it, the same pungent scent mama carried on him.
My head moved but a firm grasp on the crown of it kept me still.
"She's going to be alright," he chanted as he started to walk back and forth, slightly shaking me. "She's going to be alright."
OoO
Mama sat on the rocking chair with me on her lap, reading me a story. Her lovely voice calmed me as always. There was a rich feminine softness to it. Her voice always made me feel safe, loved, and cherished.
She was about to turn a page when I felt her body freeze. Then the book dropped on the ground and I was swiftly put on the rug while a closed fist pressed against her lips. She was coughing again, harshly.
The door slammed open, a gush of cold breeze entered the room, causing me to stiffen.
Tears blurred my vision.
I heard voices, both daddy's and mama's.
"You're not suppose to be in here, Emi."
"I... can't... help it. I want... to spend... time... with our... daugh-ter."
"You need to save your strength. The doctor will be here tomorrow along with Haruka, Juri and their son."
"I... don't want them... here." Mama's voice didn't sound as irritated or hesitant as before. She sounded firm.
"I don't either."
"Then why?"
"They want to make amends for their harsh treatment toward you."
"No, they want to gloat their happiness in our faces." Mama's tone changed to bitterness. I didn't like it.
"You think I don't see that."
She coughed again. "Then... turn... them away."
There was a pause before daddy said, "I can't."
Mama began weeping and coughing. The pungent smell returned with a full force. Tears streamed down my face.
"They're family," he insisted.
"They... betrayed you."
"They did," he acknowledged.
"Don't let them near our girl... please."
"I won't."
"Promise me, Rido."
His last words ended with "I promise."
When they finally came to me, I was sobbing silently.
OoO
"How? Why?" Rido growled, waking me up from my sleep. Something was wrong as I felt a snapping tension in the dark air. I shifted my little body until I was peering through the bars of the crib, focusing on the door, which was partially opened.
"We had no choice. She wasn't going to live for long," another voice, an unrecognizable one spoke back.
"Emi is my beloved wife, Juri. You let the doctor murder her. I'm going to kill that bastard!"
"She was unstable, her mind and body was deteriorating," the woman insisted.
Momentarily, there was quietness, a stifling one. "The doctor didn't kill her?"
I felt my heart clenched as salty moisture stung my eyes.
"You can't see me happy?" Rido asked in sadness. Although his tone lowered, I could still hear his words clearly.
"We're watching out for you."
"No, you just killed me." At the moment, his hatred was obvious. "Get out!"
All became quiet but it didn't stop the sadness from engulfing me. I lost my mother.
OoO
Their names, their eyes, their faces. They looked familiar but my mind couldn't digest the reason.
My father's arm wounded around me, keeping me secured on his lap as we sat on a dark leather couch.
A woman with long, unruly brunette hair raised her arms into the air, her hands in an upright position. She and a tall man next to her remained standing across from us. They were dressed elegantly like first class people. It reminded me of the way dad dressed. "I'll take her."
"Do you presume to tell me I don't know how to manage my child, Juri-san?" Rido questioned with annoyance.
So, she was the one dad talked too.
The man with same color hair as the female slowly lowered her arms with his hands. He glanced at us, calmly regarding Rido. "We meant no harm. Your wife-."
"What about my wife?" my father interrupted.
I looked down at my hands and feet.
"We just wanted to send our condolences," the man continued.
"Seriously, Haruka-san?" Rido's hand tightened around my torso. His body tensed and the air stirred with an unpleasantness. "Since when did you start caring about me or what is mine?"
The woman named Juri gasped and the male beside her spoke with a light tone. "We always did-."
"You have everything." His words got harsher as the air got heavier. My little hands tightened into fists and my bare toes wiggled. "You have your wife, a woman I once loved, and a son. You spend your momentous days with joy."
I cried out with the last lash of his words. A weight pressed heavily down on me, making me collapse against him. I began to tear up. Lately, these days were filled with sadness.
"Your daughter," Juri said. I could still make out her words through my sobs. "She's frightened."
A slapping sound echoed in the air, making me bury my wet face in my dad's chest. "I lost my beloved Emi. I won't give my daughter to you."
"But you don't have anyone else to take care of her," the brunette interjected.
"And you're willing to take her because she's a pureblood? Or is it because she's a Kuran? Which one?" That silenced me along with the rest of occupants in the living room.
"That's what I thought," he confirmed. There was a finality in his tone. "Both of you are the reason my wife is dead. I won't let you have Kyyra. Now, excuse yourself from this premise. I have other business affairs to handle."
Rido pulled me away from him to stand up. When he was on his feet, he shifted me on his hip. I clutched onto him tightly, my chin touching the rough edge of his shoulder. My legs wrapped around his waist as his strong arm supported me.
He was about to turn around, dismissing the couple when in my peripheral vision, Juri's lips moved. "The council."
Rido halted. Since I leaned my head on his shoulder, he didn't bother to look at them. But his voice sounded deadly. "What about the council?"
"They're going to expect some kind of inquiry regarding Toma-san's death."
"It's Kuran-sama for you and fuck the council."
There was a moment of silence. "If that's all, farewell."
He strode away from them with me in his arms.
OoO
It hit me like a ton of bricks.
Pureblood.
The word, I've watched it on television and read about it in books.
Why didn't I notice it sooner?
I was in Vampire Knight.
And Rido Kuran was my father.
I glanced at him.
Even now, seated on the plush ground with toys surrounding me, the look of despair was evident on his face. Mama, her presence used to hum tranquilly against my skin. Her laughter, as comforting as the wind chimes, would never be a part of our life.
Rido slowly paced back and forth listlessly, his shoulders slumped. He looked lonely. I did something unlike me. Wobbly, I rose to my feet while making a weird noise. The pureblood's head snapped up and into my direction. My arms lifted into the air before I lost my balance. I fell on my bottom.
Then he moved to me, arms enclosed me. "She's gone," he whispered next to my ear. I could feel wetness soaking the upper part of my dress. "She's really gone."
I latched onto him, babbling. "But you're still here, Kyyra. I won't let anyone, especially my siblings take you from me."
He shifted away, his hands pressed gently on my chubby cheeks. "If they try to, I'll slaughter them all." Within the depths of mismatched eyes, I was beginning to see signs of a monster being born.
OoO
I don't know how old I was when I smelled it clearly.
Blood.
The thick and ripe type.
It wasn't like mama's pungent one.
No, this blood smelled bitter, like vinegar.
And somehow the crimson liquid plastered my fingers.
Father stirred after slumbering so long on the polished marble floor, different colored eyes opened to watch me from under long reddish and brownish bangs. A slow and maddening grin contorted on his face.
I brushed the hair away from his cheeks and forehead, smearing blood on it.
But he didn't seem to mind as he caught my wrist.
"This is the life essence for us Kyyra," he said to me with a darkly rich voice. I wondered if he knew I understood his words. "When you grow up into a true pureblood, this will sustain you. But what will truly satisfy you is the blood of the one you love the most."
"Like mama?" I asked him.
He blinked his eyes, the madness receded for a second before unleashing again.
"Yes. But this blood cannot compare to hers."
"Why?"
He stared at me with an intensity but after being in his presence for long as I was, it didn't faze me.
"This blood is your cousin's and now that I rid the world of him to reawaken a powerful ancestor of ours, things will get interesting."
My fingers wiggled in his grasp and Kaname flashed in my mind.
"A life for a life, blood for blood." He was still gazing at me, unseeing. I knew he was thinking of mama since Haruka and Juri were the ones he blamed for her death. And by taking something precious from them as they did to us, a game of chess had ensued.
_____
A/N: Kyyra is a baby but she's aware of what's going on around her. I also wanted to explore the depths of Rido's character. I know he's evil but I wanted to write a side of him that explained how he came to be in Vampire Knight.
If you like this chapter, please don't forget to vote and comments are welcomed. :)