Chapter 5 ~ If You Love Me Let Me Go
(There's going to be a lot of P.O.V changes, sorry)
Patrick.
Although I hate lying to Faith I had a good reason to today. I told her I was going to Pete's to talk with the band about up coming stuff but really I was going to the mall to pick out something special for her. She had been living with me a week now and I couldn't hold my feelings in any longer so today I was going to ask Faith to be my girlfriend. I know a week is such a short space of time but I feel like I've known her my whole life. She's perfect in every way to me so I can't wait to ask her to be mine. I'd been at the mall almost two hours now but I couldn't find the right thing for Faith. I needed something almost as perfect as her, but nothing even came close to being in that category. Just as I was about to give up hope I wandered into the last jewellery store and began looking around. Again I saw nothing that caught my eye. As I began heading for the door I felt a tap on my shoulder, I turned around to see one of the people who worked in the store. She smiled widely and asked if I needed help finding something.
I nodded shyly and scratched the back of my neck, "I'm going to ask my best friend to be my girlfriend when I get home and I wanted something for her..."
The woman awed, "what do you two like?"
I thought for a moment, "music, we both love music"
"I think I have the perfect thing for you patrick. It's just new in too!" She said cheerfully.
"Uh, how do you know my name?" I asked, I'm pretty sure I haven't told her...
"I'm a big fan of your music" she smiled. "Follow me" and I did as she said.
She took me over to a cabinet and I watched as she opened it and took out two necklaces. She lay them out in front of me and at that moment I knew they were exactly what I wanted. Both necklaces had sliver music notes on them, however one had a tag that said 'forever his' and the other said 'forever hers'
"How much? There perfect!" I said and began searching for my wallet.
"For you, nothing. It's on me as a thank you for your amazing music" she said with a genuine smile.
"Are you sure?"
She nodded and I put my wallet away. I didn't stop thanking her until she had packaged the necklaces up and put them in a Bag. I waved at her as I left the store, Faith was going to love it! Now for an hour drive back to the apartment before I can't finally ask the question that has been on my mind for so long.
Faith.
I've been staying with Patrick for a week now but it feels like it's been forever. We've grown so close it's unreal. We act like a couple in some ways too, although I doubt we would actually ever be that. In Patricks eyes it's probably more like a bond between a brother and sister, however I find myself wishing he'd see it as more than that. In my eyes I see it as a love that could never be, he's a famous rock star, I'm just a girl who's life went down the drain, he's adored by thousands of screaming fans, Im a nobody who doesn't even have a family to love her. He's everything that I'm not. It pains me being here because every second I spend with him I fall deeper in love with his perfect self. I've though about leaving many times in the past few days, surely I'm only getting in his way. The only reason he hasn't admitted it is because he feels bad for me, he doesn't want to kick me out because I have nowhere to go. He's too nice to do that. But it's killing me staying with him, we cuddle all the time, sleep together and all around seem to be a couple, but we aren't. I cant go on like this much longer, it's messing with my mind and I need to get away from it all. With that thought I wasted no time in jumping up from the couch and running to the bedroom to pack my things. Thankfully Patrick had to leave earlier to go to Pete's, he did tell me why but I forgot the exact reason, I think it was something about the band. I got my bag from the closet and began throwing all my belonging into it, I didn't have much so in a short space of time everything was packed. I slung the bag over my shoulder and began to head for the front door. I reached for the handle but I stopped, he at least deserved to know that I had left. I dropped my bag to the floor and ran to the kitchen, found a note pad and pen and left him a note. When i was finished writing i wiped away the tears that were streaming down my face. I read over the note a few more times and decided it was good enough. I left the piece of paper on the kitchen counter, grabbed my bag from where it lay on the floor and proceeded out the door, all without looking back. As I said in the note I had no idea where I was going to go, I guess I would just figure it out as I go along. As I reached the busy street I saw no sign of Patrick but just incase he was close to getting home I decided to run, and run, and run, and run until I couldn't anymore. I had reached a part of town I wasn't familiar with and I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little scared. It would be dark soon so I would have to find somewhere to stay the night, better than the doorstep I slept on though... I don't want that to happen again, Patrick won't be there to save me this time. He'll probably be home by now. The thought of him reading the note sickened me, what if he felt the same way? I'll have ruined my one chance of happiness. But of course I knew deep down in my heart we would never have been anything more than friends, I made the right decision to leave.
---
Patrick.
5 minutes away from the apartment, not going to lie, I'm a little nervous.
---
Faith.
I had found a near by hotel which I'd never even seen or herd of, but it would do for a few nights or as long as I needed to stay here. It was only $30 per night which was perfect for me so I checked in straight away.
"How many nights miss?" The guy behind the desk asked.
"I'm not sure yet, I could be here a while" I said shyly.
"Okay well I'll give you a room and you can just pay at the end of your stay"
"That'll be great"
He typed a few things into his computer then gave me a key to room 24 which I thanked him for.
---
Patrick.
I was now pulling into my allocated parking spot and getting more and more nervous by the minute. This was a really big deal: if she said yes, perfect! But if she said no it would ruin everything and probably make her leave. If Faith leaves I don't know what I'll do. I turned off the car, grabbed the bag containing the necklaces and made my way to the entrance. I waited patiently in the lift until I arrived on my floor and got out. I was now standing in front of my door more nervous than I'd ever been in my whole life. I took a deep breath and pushed the door open to find Faith wasn't anywhere to be seen. I gathered she must be in my room or the bathroom so I went to look. I knocked on the door to my bedroom and waited a few seconds before entering. Again she wasn't there. I knocked on the bathroom door but I got the same results, she wasn't there either. I was now starting to worry so I returned to the living room and kitchen to see if she was hiding like she had done a few days ago. I looked everywhere but nothing.
"Faith this isn't funny anymore, where are you!?" I shouted but I got no reply whatsoever.
Then a piece of paper on the kitchen counter caught my eye. Scribbled across it was Faiths writing,
Patrick, this is heart breaking to write but it must be done. By the time you are reading this I will be gone, I don't know where but I'll figure that out later, I just need to get away from here. It's not your fault, I just feel that I'm getting in your way living here and I'm feeling something else I rather wouldn't too. I didn't want to admit this but I might as well because I'll probably never see you again but in the short week I've been living here I've found myself falling in love with my hero. And that hero is you Patrick. You have no idea how much your music has helped me in the past, it made me feel loved when I wasn't. I always had one of those stupid little fan crushes on you but now that I know you in person it's grown into a real emotion filled crush. All the cuddling and sleeping together only made it worse but when I though it was going somewhere I realised I would never actually have a chance with you. Your everything I'm not. So with that, goodbye Patrick. If we were somehow meant to be fate will bring us back to each other but I know that'll never happen. Thank you for everything you've done.
~Faith
I read the note over and over, each time my heart broke a little bit more. I set the bag with the necklaces in on the counter next to the note and retrieved my phone from my pocket. I scrolled through my contacts until I reached Faith and called her. When I got no reply I just tried again and again and again. I had no luck after 19 calls and decided to text her, 8 texts later still no reply. I lay down on the couch and curled up into a ball, letting the tears I had be holding back out. She was gone. I just hope she sees the last text I sent her, maybe she'll change her mind and come back...
To Faith: I love you Faith, I have since day one.
---
Faith.
I walked to the lifts and got in as one opened, pressing the floor 3 button. The doors opened and I stepped out then I began to look for room 24. It was the last room at the end of the hallway and unlocked it with my key. The room was simple, red walls, a double bed, desk, closet, mirror and a few framed photos on the walls. Another door lead to a bathroom which was small, but pleasant. I dumped my bag on the floor and flopped onto the bed. With a sigh I slipped my phone out of my pocket and turned it on, I had 19 missed calls plus 8 texts all from Patrick.
From Patrick: Faith please call me
From Patrick: Please I'm worried about you
From Patrick: You never ever got in my way, I loved having you here
From Patrick: It's lonely without you
From Patrick: Faith I need you
From Patrick: Please come back
From Patrick: if you do we can sort things out
However the 8th text wouldn't load, hmmm strange...
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A/N
Sorry about all the pov changes I just wanted to get both points of view across so I did :3
Also it's a short-ish chapter I know but please don't kill meeee.
Goal for next update: 700 reads, 53 votes & 50 comments
^^^The faster I reach that the quicker the update so don't forget to vote & comment
Also I'm really happy to hear you guys are enjoying the story line, it's awesome! c:
~MeganStump
Tittle credit: Panic! at the Disco // This Is Gospel