**Alex's POV**
Sleep doesn't come easily anymore.
Eventually I stopped trying.
My mom noticed the bags under my eyes. She said they looked liked bruises.
That's the first time she gave me the pills.
Sleeping Pills.
I've been taking them for a week now.
I shake the can before opening its lid, for no other reason than to hear the sound it makes. Little blue pills roll out into my hand.
How many would it take to sleep forever?
How many pills would it take to forget?
I wait for all the pills to fall onto my palm, and I hold them for a while letting their round edges sink into my skin.
Could I do it? Swallow all those pills as if they were candy.
Relief will come if I follow through. I know that. I will no longer have to remember his blood. His cold face. His blue lips.
But mostly I won't have to remember the things I know. The secrets I keep.
I have to protect Mason. Even though he deserved to die.
I place the pills back into their bottle. Leaving one behind to swallow.