The dining hall was packed full as Asgardians ate, drank and laughed, warriors' tall tales making them burst into tear jerking laughter. Thor stood watching the smiles that rippled through the room, trying his best to do the same. Yet there were ones that were missing, ones that should have been sitting there, laughing with them.
Thor turned from the hall. He wished no longer to share in the feasting, he found no enjoyment in it. He went to his sister's room, carefully opening the door.
The room was dark, save for the light that the fire in the hearth gave off. The purple curtains allowed no small ray of sunshine in, and even the fire itself seemed only to dimly live.
Catalina lay still in bed, her breathes quiet and steady. Thor sat on the edge of the bed and laid his hand over hers. After the loss of Loki, it seemed as if she had been lost as well, her hope and all that was left of her joy had fallen into the abyss along with her brother. She had been plagued with guilt, had refused to eat, had nearly killed Thor herself in one of his attempts to comfort her, and had finally fallen ill, and had not left her room since.
"Thor..." The princess's voice was tired and weak, and her green eyes were dull. They no longer twinkled with mischief, and they no longer sparkled with joy. They were just a plain green, with no emotion to brighten them.
"I've brought you some food. You need nourishment Sister; you'll starve to death if you do not eat!"
Catalina pushed his offering of meat away and turned over away from him.
"Let me die then. I'm sure my loss will not be much of a disturbance to Asgard." She pulled the covers farther up her chin.
"Catalina, no. If I lost you too...." His large hand came to rest firmly on her shoulder.
"I've seen their merriment, I've seen the way they writhe in their dancing, as if they were glad I and my brother do not appear. I see their faces when you or Mother speak of I or Loki. They change the subject. Do not deny it Brother; my death would not cause but a ripple in that dining hall." The princess let out an exhausted breathe, as if it all pained her to say, and it did.
"But I will forever mourn you. Mother would never forget you. Catalina, you may not believe there are ones who will miss you, but I will." He inhaled and looked over to the little locket his sister had gotten not twelve years ago, and had never removed from her neck since; the locket from when their family was complete.
There was another necklace she wore as well, a rose with a white diamond in the center.
"I know also that the great elven king would never love another as he loves you."
"Do not speak to me of Thranduil!" Catalina sat up abruptly, her green eyes flashing with anger, and Thor flinched. "The Earths are lost to us. I will never see him again." She sighed heavily and sat back against the headboard. Her green eyes were once again dull, but now glistening with tears. "It is my fault I will not see him. I left when he pleaded with me not to go. I suppose he wouldn't forgive me anyway." She wiped her face with a dirty, already tear stained sleeve.
"He would never do such a thing. Mother has told me of your love, and it is too great to be let go of now. He will wait for your return. Besides," Thor brushed a lock of hair from his sister's face, "there is always hope."
*****
Catalina stood in the shadows of the dining hall, watching her former comrades eat and boast of their many battle feats. She crosses her arms, disappearing when one would unknowingly get too close. She listened to their many stories, some of defeat, and others of soaring victories. Yet many lacked important characters, especially the ones that the princess and her twin had been in. The warriors spoke highly of Balder and of Thor, but none not so much as mentioned Loki or Catalina. If one did dare to utter their names, they would quickly be given a disapproving glare from others, or be completely interrupted by another.
It saddened the princess greatly, for it seemed, that though she was still alive, it was as if no one remembered. As if they thought she had dropped into the abyss too, those three weeks ago.
So, instead of forcing their unwanted approval, Catalina would escape the castle, and sit alone in the little patch of woods beyond the city, on the makeshift swing Loki had made for her not two years ago.
She would sit there for hours, rocking back and forth steadily, recalling the old times, when life had been right, and before it had all changed.
She remembered when she and her brothers would have fights in the dining halls; throwing food and horrifying the unfortunate servants and maids who had to clean up the mess. She remembered being carried on Balder's shoulders when she was small, her little hands and chin resting atop his head. She remembered falling asleep next to her twin brother in their room, cuddling up against him as he tried gently to push her away. She remembered telling him secrets, making forts out of fur blankets, and playing tricks on the older boys while they studied.
Catalina smiled at the memories, yet smiled through the tears, knowing that those memories were all but made up. They had been fabricated to make her believe she had a good childhood, had a loving family for her first years.
She shook her head. The sad thing was, she preferred to believe the fake memories rather than the real ones. The real ones, though no doubt pleasurable at times to think of when they included the former elven prince, did not make her happy. The memories she remembered were only the ones viewed from behind her sister, or at her feet. The knowing her heritage plagued her, and would not let her forget it as she had wandered the forests alone, with only the thought of her friend to keep her going.
She felt as if the realms of Middle Earth and Asgard were pulling her apart, taking various pieces of her self and using it against her. It hurt her badly, and she wished she could be someone else, or at the very least, be able to come to terms with her situation, and use it.
There is always hope.
Thor's words wrung in her ears, and the princess stood up from the swing. Walking slowly, she invisibly headed for the Rainbow Bridge. Sitting on the edge near Heimdal, she looked into the endless darkness below.
"It is good you come out of the castle. The sun is good for you," said Heimdal.
Catalina smiled downward, knowing he saw.
"Will Middle Earth be restored some day?" She asked, looking at the many twinkling stars below her feet.
"Someday perhaps," replied the gatekeeper.
"Do you see him?"
"Yes," he chuckled. "He fights fiercely in battle. He swears he'll stay alive to see you upon your return."
Catalina smiled, thinking of the elf she loved so dearly. She missed him, but began to realize there was a hope. A hope she would see him again. And as she looked down into the starry night, another feeling began to embrace her. She smiled down at the stars, and the abyss that never ended.
I will see my brother again.
But until that time, Catalina promised she would wait patiently, because she knew he would come, and the day would arrive, when the stars would align, and everything would be alright.
To be continued.....