When Mark reaches the base, he settles Jack onto the couch and kneels beside him, watching as Phil gets a bowl of water from the kitchen and hurries to the living room. His blue eyes are haunted as he places the bowl on the floor beside him and pulls a sphere of water into his hand.
"What hurts that I can fix?" the Brit asks.
Jack gestures vaguely to his head and Phil lowers the water onto his forehead, the ache in his skull fading away as the liquid soaks into his skin. Jack maintains a firm grip on Mark's hand, his eyes threatening to slip shut from the exhaustion that comes with overexertion. He gestures to his legs and Phil helps them feel a bit less like jelly.
"Do you want to talk now or do you want to sleep?" Mark asks softly, pressing a kiss to the villain's knuckles.
Jack shrugs lightly, his eyes slipping shut. Mark exhales and grabs a nearby blanket, tucking him in before taking his hand again. Chica, the ever-faithful dog, jumps onto the couch and curls up by Jack's feet.
"Sleep, then talk," Mark says with a small smile.
"What happened?" Hudson asks, glancing from Jack to the other frazzled heroes and rebels as he enters the room.
"Anti-heroes," Felix grumbles.
Phil sits Hudson down in one of the chairs and gently unwraps his bandages in order to look at his shoulder. As the other heroes and rebels start to disperse, Jack clutches Mark's hand a little tighter. In the background, Phil and Hudson slip out of the room.
"M'rk?" Jack mumbles, his visible eye cracking open.
The hero squeezes his hand in return. "Yeah?"
"'m scared. And I feel bad."
"I know. Just sleep and we can talk about this when you aren't exhausted."
"Is my eyepatch on?"
Mark frowns a little and runs his finger along the strap. "Of course it is. Do you want it off?"
Jack shakes his head. "No. I want it on. I don't want to know what'll happen if it's off."
"Nothing will happen." Mark sighs heavily. "Sleep, okay?"
"Don't leave."
"I wasn't going to."
Jack watches him, fighting it every time his eyes slip shut. Mark rubs circles into the back of his hand, and when the villain keeps trying to stay awake, he finally slips onto the couch beside him. Mark wraps an arm around Jack and frowns when he feels him shaking.
"You don't have to be scared," Mark whispers. "I'll protect you."
"I-I can't h-help it," Jack replies just as softly. "I keep s-seeing Dan and Anti in my h-head and they w-won't go away. I f-feel so guilty and h-his voice is g-getting louder in my h-head..."
Mark exhales heavily, rubbing circles into the villain's hip. He buries his worried expression in Jack's hair and holds him just a little tighter. "Just try to sleep, okay? I know you're scared and I know you feel guilty. We can talk through that later because right now, your exhaustion isn't helping anything."
Jack says nothing, choosing instead to turn and tuck himself into Mark's chest with a wince. He slips his hand under the hem of the hero's shirt and covers his bullet scar with his palm before exhaling and finally letting himself fall asleep. The hero bites his lip, worry welling in his heart and making him feel like he's going to burst into tears. He shifts so Jack is sleeping on his chest and stares up at the ceiling, running his fingers through the villain's hair and fighting the emotions that rage in his mind and heart.
At some point Mark nods off, and when he wakes up Jack is tracing lazy circles on his pectorals. The TV plays quietly in the background, Phil watching from a nearby armchair with a blanket wrapped around his body so only his face is showing. Jack doesn't appear to realize that Mark is awake and continues his whispered conversation with Phil.
"Did the fire remind you of him too?" the villain asks.
"Everything reminds me of him," Phil replies, pulling the blanket tighter.
Jack sighs, tracing the shape of a bird on Mark's chest. "I never stop thinking about him. He's always somewhere in my mind."
"Yeah, same here." The Brit scrubs his sleeve across his eye and sniffles. "I loved him. I still do. I love him so, so much."
Mark closes his eyes to stop them from widening. Phil had a thing with Dan? How did he hide it for so long? The hero rubs his thumb back and forth along Jack's spine and the villain immediately lifts his head to look at him.
"Hey, welcome back to the world of the living," Jack says with a weak smile.
Mark yawns and moves his hair out of his eyes. "Hi."
The villain glances at Phil for a moment before pulling himself off of Mark with a grimace. He reaches down and Mark takes his hand, using it as leverage to hoist himself off of the couch.
"Let's go to the kitchen to talk," Jack says.
His movements are slow and wobbly as he walks to the kitchen, and Mark steadies him when the need arises. The hero tries to hide the worry on his face, but knows he's failing miserably.
"Talk to me, Jack," he says when they reach the kitchen.
"Every time I see your scars, I can't help but feel guilty," Jack replies, leaning against the counter and frowning. "When Arin was attacking me, he asked how I could scar and nearly kill the person I claim to love, and it's just been making me feel more guilty than I already do."
The hero sighs. "Jack, how many times do I have to tell you? That was Anti that did that, not you, and Anti's gone."
"Can you stop telling me that it's not my fault?" the Irishman pleads. "I still heard everything that happened, and sometimes I can still hear Anti's voice. Lately, his voice has been getting louder and more frequent. I don't know... I'm allowed to feel bad about something that a part of me did."
"I get that he's a part of you, but it wasn't YOU. I just want you to stop feeling so bad all the time," Mark replies. "I forgave you a long time ago. I want you to be okay."
"I can't stop feeling bad. I've killed so many people that didn't deserve it, and there are better people than me that should be alive right now! Why do I get to live and they don't?! I'm the reason so many people are dead!"
Mark leans against the counter and cocks his head to the side. "Have you just been letting this fester? Why are you so tense all of a sudden?"
"I'm not tense!" Jack exclaims. "I'm fine, I just keep seeing that stupid bullet scar on your stomach as a reminder every bloody day that I fucking killed you!" He runs his fingers through his hair, breathing heavily. "I just don't understand why I'm alive after being tortured and shot at and mutated when others deserve it more than me! Dan deserves to be alive more than I do!"
"Jack, stop." Mark's voice is deadly calm as he takes the Irishman's wrist in his hand. "I never want to hear you talk like that ever again."
"I just-"
"No. I can't explain the reasons behind who lives and who dies, but I do know that if you were dead, I don't know where I would be. Every day, I thank whatever God exists that you're with me and that I can talk to you instead of a headstone. You can't change the past. What's done is done. What you can change is how you head into the future and I want you in my future, so stop questioning why you're here and instead make being here worth it. I know you've been through a lot. Hell, you can barely walk right now without looking like you're in pain. We can deal with the physical pain. We can deal with Anti. We can deal with the trauma and all the mental garbage, but never question why you're here. That's when hope dies."
Jack opens and closes his mouth several times before simply nodding. As Mark is about to let his wrist go, the Irishman tugs him closer and presses a kiss to his lips, wrapping his arms around his neck. Mark deepens the kiss, pinning him against the counter.
"I love you," Mark whispers against his lips.
"I love you too," Jack replies just as softly.
"Promise me that you'll keep fighting this and that you won't give up."
"I promise."